#crossdressing!sam

[spnficreadingjournal]

I Swallow Your Heart by MsImpala67

Summary: Prompt: "I swallow your heart and it crawls right out of my mouth" by Richard Siken.

Sam has never been able to hold onto Dean the way he wants to. He tries. It's never enough.

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

Dean can see how nervous Sam is, even though his baby boy hides it well, he knows how to read his Sammy. Sam has the same nervousness that he had the very first time he did this as a surprise for Dean, Dean wishes that he could convince Sam that he was gorgeous to him no matter what. 

But seeing Sam dressed like this has all of Dean’s blood rushing south, the pink sundress Sam chose to wear was practically indecent on Sam’s long frame. Dean’s willpower was put to a test as Sam bent over to bring something out of the oven, his skirt riding up to show the black lace stretching around Sam’s glorious bubble butt. Sam might not crossdress often but when he does he goes all out, Sam in a ponytail should be illegal given what it is doing to him right now. 

It was pure torture for Dean to keep his hands to himself but he had promised Sam that he wouldn’t touch him until after Sam finished making supper but the moment Sam finished all bets were off, Dean was perfectly fine eating cold food and he was sure that it should last till tomorrow morning, hell they could have it for a late lunch. 

Sam could feel Dean’s eyes on him as he moved around the kitchen and as always he could feel the butterflies fluttering about his stomach like they always do when Dean looked at him like he was the most precious thing in Dean’s world. No one made Sam feel the way Dean did and that why he was willing to do anything to make Dean happy. And if he’s honest with himself he really likes being Dean’s girl. 

Dean’s gaze was hot on him and Sam felt like he was going to combust as he set down the last knife, he knew that dinner wasn’t going to get eaten for a while and that didn’t bother Sam on bit as Dean moved up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling the flesh behind him ear. “Looks good sweetheart and I sure hope it will keep because right now I’ve got to show my best girl how much I appreciate her and all she’s done for me.” 

Yeah Sam’s pretty sure the food will keep till later it is just pizza after all.

[sweetonmeclarence]

But Sam breaking gender norms is also my favourite thing. Like Sam trying on some eye make up and maybe some lip and maybe he thinks he looks good. Maybe when he was younger, he'd try out the more frillier lacier clothes in the Goodwill changing rooms. Maybe he meets someone who encourages him to try out more things and encourages him to dress up in public when he feels like it. (Ahh ignore me)

this yes all of this please

So at Stanford, then, he's in a bit of a more consistent and liberal environment, so he's able to wear more feminine things now and then when he goes to a friend's place for a movie marathon or when he goes out on the town with people, and it's kind of nice to be able to let loose just a bit.

And when Jess (his best friend who he's been harboring a crush on since at least sophomore year) strolls into his apartment ('cause...you know...he gave her a key...shut up) and sees him just chilling out on the couch, watching the television, dressed in a nice, V-neck sweater and a pair of gaucho-like pants, she doesn't comment. When she sits down next to him and notices he's probably shaved his legs recently, she also doesn't comment. When she looks closer and sees that he's wearing some simple, neutral-toned eye-shadow, barely-there eyeliner, and a flattering color of lipgloss, however...

"You look nice, today."

"Thanks."

And that's it. That's all she says. And when Brady comes to sit with them, later on, she notes that he doesn't say much of anything either. He keeps eyeing Sam now and then during commercials and such, but he doesn't look critical. It's almost like he's checking Sam out, actually.

To be honest, Jess was doing the same. Sam looks like he's perfectly comfortable with them in the same room with him while he's wearing all of this...really nice-looking stuff, actually. She might have to ask him where he got that gloss later.

Maybe Jess and Brady chat later on while Sam's up making some hot cocoa for all three of them. Maybe they decide to try and coax him outside while he's still wearing his makeup. Maybe Sam changes into a pair of slim jeans and throws on a scarf and totally forgets he's wearing the makeup on his way out the door because his friends are there and he's the most comfortable he's been since he came to Stanford.

((This is honestly one of my favorite things because just wait until it gets into the bedroom and shit because ladies' undergarments are sometimes really comfortable and Sam looks great in them and deah lawdy sumbahdy stop me thiyus instant))