I’m high and waxing poetic about the similarities between Emmy and Lilith again. Because I was thinking about it again last night and looking at old posts that I tagged Emmy in and rereading these posts and what she wrote to me all the things I remember feeling are things I feel with Lilith. And I never felt those things being with my ex.
I always thought that was weird, too - it was like my relationship with Emmy was this huge, special thing, and even with my ex I had all of these intimate and private moments with Emmy that I held onto. That I wished were real so that I could have thought back on them more since the relationship with my ex didn’t make me feel that way.
Oohh now there’s a realization. Anyway. But Lilith is the real-life version of Emmy. Same age, similar personality types and backgrounds. Both dirty in that degenerate-but-sexy kind of way. And the things that I wanted in a relationship - and that I got in the relationship with Emmy - I feel completely with Lilith. And it’s real and I’m safe and I’m living the life my 19 year old self craved. My relationship with Emmy was passion and fire, but it was a fantasy. My relationship with Lilith is the best reality I’ve ever had.
