I'm not sure who all else needs to see the answer, but I know I really do. Is it a common experience for other aces to feel like they need to hide their aceness because whenever they do reveal it people treat them differently? I know my group of friends are very understanding of diverse sexualities and lifestyles, but ever since they found out about mine they act like I make them uncomfortable or like I'm going to fly off the handle if they express their sexual natures at all.
Okay, so this feels like a question for the community, so I’m going to put it out for others to give their feelings as well. @crowandtalbot if you would prefer I answer you privately, just let me know, and I’ll take it down. That being said, I’ll give you my own thoughts before turning it out for others.
In my own experience, I have felt the need to hide my aceness in the past. Most of my close friends know I’m ace, and most have been accepting. However I have had a very close friend of mine treat me very differently after she found out I was ace. She was overly cautious about how she spoke to me and what she said and what she asked me to do while hanging out with her. She treated me like a child at first then later more like a nun. It wasn’t until I directly confronted her about it and explained how I felt that things went more back to normal.
Now I’m not saying it would be like that for everyone, but that’s just one experience from my own life. A lot of the time, people treat you differently because of their perception of asexuality. They don’t understand what it is or know any other people who are ace, so they only have their limited understanding of asexuality to work with.
Which is another reason many people choose not to or avoid coming out as ace... they don’t want to give an hour long seminar on what asexuality is and how it applies to them. We shouldn’t have to become these representatives for our sexuality, but unfortunately, until it is regularly taught about in schools’ sex education classes, we will have to be. Education is the key to understanding, and understanding is the key to acceptance and normalization.