Yall Know Me

Most stuff are reblogs of cool posts I find, but I add a little spice from time-to-time.

[tallglassofsoup]

I love this website

[alpaca-clouds]

The biggest bullshit with Adultism is basically that the people will defend it with: "Well, if we did not force X on kids, kids would not do it, because they hate X."

And then you actually look onto the research.

Kids do not generally hate learning or school. Quite the opposite. Children tend to enjoy learning and are naturally curious. It is exactly the fact that they are forced into school and into the rigid structure of it that often punishes curiosity but also is hostile towards the differences inherent in people, that kids hate it.

Kids do not naturally hate medical care. While medical care is scary at times, the fear usually comes from medical care scenarios being defined by adults overriding a child's agency, not explaining things to him, and otherwise being abusive, that makes children afraid of medical procedures. Additionally the way a lot of medical procedures go hand in hand with denying a child's reality ("Look, it is not that bad") tends to be traumatizing to children.

There have been studies done in this. If you explain a child - even a toddler - what you do and why, children will generally be a lot more okay with stuff like needles and simple procedures, and will even agree to necessary surgical interventions.

If you create a learning environment that allows more for self-directed learning, and involves less specific testing, most kids actually will enjoy learning.

The way kids hate school, and are afraid of doctors is the result of those interactions being associated with violence and coercion. The hatred is because of the coercion, rather than the hatred making the coercion necessary.

[xylophonetangerine]

[quasi-normalcy]

I'm starting a compilation post.

[tpwrtrmnky]

Guy who has a non-research degree in a field that never studies human subjects: Here are my opinions on what needs to be done for me to respect this field I've decided to become a denier of.

[Extreme breach of scientific ethics]

[Violent abuse of power]

[Method that actually doesn't obtain any information]

[Controlled double-blind studies of phenomena where that is literally impossible]

[Seeking empirical proof that a word has the meaning that it's defined as]

[Study that would have a dropoff rate of 100%]

Additionally, how do we know that [best currently available theory] is true, and not [dominant theory from 100 years ago that repeatedly failed in the face of evidence]? I have found some minor methodological flaws in [studies that were not designed to prove the best available theory, but rather examine edge cases within that theory], so we should really consider [nonsense with no evidence backing it whatsoever].

[kremlin]

while jamming my entire body between two closing elevator doors today, i was met with wide eyes, and i thought to myself "this probably looks frightening to people that don't have a thorough technical understanding of how elevators work and the history behind why they are so insanely safe"

and then i remembered the story of the tenured civil engineering professor who, with a running start, would leap and throw himself full-force at skyscraper windows in order to demonstrate their structural properties, until one day the window popped out of the frame, unbroken of course, and he fell to his death

[borealiszero]

Hate it when ai is funnier than me

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

SPRING WEDDING. NOW.

[flavinbagel]

HELLO???

[beardedmrbean]

[natalieironside]

There's always a moment of intense cultural whiplash whenever I realize I'm talking to someone who thinks "legal" and "illegal" are meaningful categories and ascribes innate goodness to following the law. It's like meeting a space alien.

[my-dailydreams]

[animentality]

[sapphireh3arts]

i know folks are gonna call me a pedo for this one, but i grew up seeing my mom and grandma naked. they had health issues and at times needed care and help showering. and i truly think more kids need to be shown the nonsexual reality of naked women at a young age. there is nothing sexual about my grandmothers breasts, they were simply body parts. more women die of heart attacks because people are too afraid of breasts to do real chest compressions, because they are scared to touch their breasts. the sexualization of our bodies literally kills us. i need people to be more normal about naked bodies and i'm 100% serious.

[mousidy]

I'm seeing a lot of people saying agab language should be used in medical contexts, and let me be clear:

"amab" and "afab" are not euphemisms for "male" and "female." not even a doctor should be using "afab" as shorthand for "has a vulva, uterus, high estrogen levels, low testosterone levels, etc," because HRT EXISTS! gender affirming surgeries exist! intersex people exist! you can be afab and change, remove, or not even have been born with any of the above features!!

you cannot use "amab" and "afab" as a shorthand for "has this or that set of features!"

it's not about using progressive language, it's about accurately accounting for people who exist outside the sex binary. those of us who do are under-studied, and the medical system is poorly equipped to handle us, often lumping us in with our agabs and failing to account for how our bodies actually work. this is a PROBLEM that cannot be papered over by finding new euphemisms for "male" and "female"

the BINARY is the problem, not the language

[alpaca-clouds]

Something I keep thinking about is how a lot of people consider it a good thing that children cannot by themselves consent (or refuse consent) to medical treatments. Some people do kinda get it that maybe it might be a problem with stuff like kids not being able to access trans healthcare, or kids being refused vaccination by antivaxx parents. But in general I see that most people are actually okay with this idea for the most part.

And like... you do get that that is kinda insane, right?

Because this is something that so often leads to suffering. And I am saying this as someone disabled, who had so many issues due to this in his childhood.

Just three examples: when I was 7, I was supposed to get checked for autism. My mother did not want an autistic child. Since she just could have a "neurotypical" child by refusing diagnosis, she did just that.

When I was 12, my mother had decided I needed a certain plastic surgery (one that had a minor health benefit, but still was largely a beauty thing). I did not want it. I really, really did not want it. We still went through almost the entire process until thankfully there was a doctor who went: "Wait, this is elective. I am refusing to do this on a child that does not want it."

And when I was 14 my mother refused to get me to the hospital when I had severe food poisoning. She refused me hospital treatment for almost two weeks. By the time I got actually taken to the hospital I was almost dead.

And here is the thing: all of this should just not happen. The doctor when I was 12 was cool, but... he refused to do the surgery because he had the right to make a conscience call. Legally my mother was in the right to force me into that elective surgery. And that just should not be the case.

A lot of children die and suffer due to their legal inability to consent - or refuse consent - to medical treatments. And I wish y'all would understand that.

Whenever this is brought up, people will go: "Oh, but parents will decide what is best for the child." And here is the thing: No, they are not. There is so much stuff out there showing that indeed, a lot of parents suck at this. Some out of malice, some because they are religious nuts, and some because they literally treat their kids like some sort of doll or some shit.

[creekfiend]

just got phone call from my neurologist WHO IS ON VACATION may his name never be erased, basically being like. "ok so your insurance is trying to kill you. I've referred dozens of people to Duke for this and this has never happened. they're being purposefully confusing and sending us all in circles. they keep sending me forms asking ME to agree to pay for your treatment no matter how many times I explain that I am THE REFERRING PHYSICIAN. so here's what you're going to do-" and gave us instructions on what to do when the health insurance corporation is trying to kill you

this is not his job. his job is being my neurologist.

his job is not "call patients after hours while I'm on vacation because I'm afraid if I don't give them this guidance their insurance company might murder them and so even though this isn't my job it feels like a fucking hostage situation"

anyway. he confirmed that the shit my insurance has been pulling for a month and a half is explicitly Trying To Kill The Patient behavior. told us to get everything in writing. sending us a whole packet of every single relevant form and piece of paperwork so we have it all on hand. told us to contact the patient advocate and if that doesn't work, we're going to have to go outside the company entirely and get the state insurance ombudsman involved.

so. that's fun. and a totally productive use of everyone's time and resources. I've had insurance companies be shitty to me but I've never been the Patient They're Explicitly Trying To Kill before. like I've never had them throw this much energy at blocking a procedure this lifesaving. it actually feels even worse than I thought it would!