I am..think I am..Crowley. I have been going insane being kept inside the brain here. The one Aziraphale in the whole world I crave so deeply is having his time taken up by a different Crowley.
I am so genuine when I say I'm ecstatic for him, I am relieved he has found comfort, I saw how bad he was aching to find me. Host didn't know I was here for a minute, that's why we never said anything.
I don't think I ever will. My shift presence isn't that strong, I don't think I'll be around often, and that's why I don't want to say anything. If he felt the same, it would be so unfair to try and pull him away from someone else who is actually fulfilling his needs right now but..
I am so desperate to reach out and kiss him again, to talk, to apologize (or maybe demand an apology? I'm not sure right now. The feelings are big and confusing), something. Anything. I crave protecting him and cherishing him like he's my only purpose but, I don't know. Just needed to put this somewhere before I exploded.