#cryptopathology

[faithpunkdefunct]

i am collecting imagery that 2 me comes close 2 describing a certain state i both dread and long 4. It is a state that is Perfectly Radiant, Conceptually Pure and Absolutely False/Wrong. This last quality ov it is somehow fully integrated into the other two qualities. This state makes no attempts 2 hide that it advertises Abysmal Dread as Perpetual Bliss.

[faithpunkdefunct]

progression as ive seen it has been only perspective,- the behaviour, innermost, never changes, only becomes clearer vision-wise. i know what the habit is, and i know its effect, and we can clearly c each other, the violator and i. i even understand 2 some degree that i need 2 somehow come 2 terms with this hostility in order 2 rise above it. but there is difference between understanding and practice and i am still lost between these towers and their horrible radiance. regardless ov color. cursed b the illusion ov will.

[faithpunkdefunct]

a Work Ethic

i call that a Living Metaphor: a process ov change through language, performed by the production ov its imagery. this is abundant in religion, art, magick and practical psychology.

[faithpunkdefunct]

the Janitor has the same technical function in the architecture ov soul as that jesus-guy has 2 the jesus-guy-ppl. the medium through which Forgiving Love is brought 2 the soul in the prison ov solipsism, the guide and protector ov the lost dreamer.

[faithpunkdefunct]

The Falling Apart

it got 2 me the first time so long ago and its been getting 2 me ever since how in this life there is bias in favor ov falling apart like a discrete vibration something fragile in the open field - the vibration gets it and it falls apart

[faithpunkdefunct]

. . . perpetual endgame rebirth/redeath fateburning sequencer feels all ovr the place im a couple ov yrs into this esoteric xtremist business and i can tell u im glad that i rly needed 2 to do this cus it would b such a stupid path 2 take "4 the ride"

[faithpunkdefunct]

hell is a state ov a world and as such a condition 4 its inhabitants, it is neither equal nor just but a system like any, containing a great many positions both priviliged and deprived. it should b known by the sign that its proliferation comes at the cost ov perpetuating suffering and dread.

[faithpunkdefunct]

Mayb that Reality we feel so disconnected from is the veil itself, and this feeling ov disconnection is its one and only symtom ? Is this even a relevant train ov thought ? Idk like i talked abt my need 4 clarity and connection 2 things with a good friend and they where like "what u speak ov is death, and the escape from the condition ov earth" and im like this got me actually kinda confused and its all back agn 2 the solipsist matrix like what r dissociative symtoms ov my Fear Ov Life and what is just actual conditions ov xistence and is there even a difference ? I guess not rly, i guess one basic condition ov a solipsist approach 2 Work is that my mental state and my perception ov xistence is inseparable and all conditions r equally valid 4 as long as they r in place - like questions ov mental hygien and questions ov spiritual transcendance must b approached the same.