Summary: Emma and Killian experience important moments in her pregnancy together. (Includes some missing scenes from 7x02.)
Rating: G
Note: Well, I am mourning CS and I wasn’t all that happy with their last episode. I was especially disappointed that we never got to see any important moments in her pregnancy and didn’t get to see them with their baby. I was hoping we’d at least get a few little snippets. So that’s what fanfics are for and that’s why I wrote this one. I hope you enjoy it! ~Steph
...This is Us: Part 1/1…
Emma smiled as she finished lighting the last candle on the dining room table. She glanced at her watch. Killian would be home any minute now. She wanted everything to be perfect when she told him he was going to be a father.
They had been trying to conceive for a long time. Emma was starting to worry that they wouldn’t be able to conceive naturally and would have to explore alternatives. There had been a couple of false alarms. Emma was late, but when she took the pregnancy tests they were negative. Her doctor attributed her late periods to stress.
There was a part of Emma that feared she might never be able to have a child with Killian. She worried that maybe she was being punished for giving Henry up all of those years ago. But Killian, always understanding, had soothed her fears, assuring her that when the time was right, they would conceive a child of their own. She wanted nothing more than to raise a child with her husband, her true love, right from the start of its life.
About a week ago, she realized that her period was a couple of days late again. She wanted to tell Killian, but he had been so disappointed after the last two false alarms. This time, she wanted to be sure before she got his hopes up. So she took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. Two more confirmed it. Still, Emma wanted to be absolutely sure, so she had confirmed it with her doctor this afternoon. The joy she felt at knowing she was carrying Killian’s child was indescribable. She wanted to run and tell him, but she resisted. They had waited this long and she wanted it to be special when he found out he was going to be a father.
Emma heard the front door open and then slam closed.
“Emma, I’m home,” Killian called.
Emma smiled at the sound of her husband’s voice. Even after years of marriage, his voice still made her heart race.
“In the dining room,” she replied.
Killian appeared a moment later, a smile on his lips at the romantic dinner before him and his wife in the dress she’d worn on their first date.
“What’s all this?” he asked, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Did I forget a holiday of this realm?”
Emma shook her head and took his hand. She led him to his seat.
“I wanted tonight to be special,” she said, as he sat down.
Killian cocked an eyebrow and looked up at his wife. “And why is that?”
Emma moved to the hutch on the wall behind him and picked up a bottle of rum. She came to stand in front of him and placed the bottle on his plate.
“This should answer all of your questions.”
Killian looked down at the bottle of rum. A label had been printed and affixed to it that read:
DRINK THIS FOR ME.
I’LL JOIN YOU IN ABOUT 9 MONTHS.
BABY SWAN-JONES ARRIVES IN FEBRUARY.
Killian stared at the bottle, his mouth dropping open in shock. Emma scanned his face, trying to gauge his reaction.
His gaze finally lifted to hers. “Are you…You’re...We’re having a baby?”
Emma felt tears fill her eyes as she nodded her head. “Yes, Killian, you’re going to be a father.”
“And you’re sure?” he asked.
Emma nodded. “Three pregnancy tests and my doctor confirmed it.”
A huge smile swept across his lips as realization finally dawned on him. “I’m going to be a father. We’re going to have a baby!”
Emma laughed, as he grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto his lap. She looped her arms around his neck, as Killian’s lips met hers. They pulled back a moment later, their foreheads still touching.
“I can hardly believe this is finally happening,” he breathed.
“It was the right time, just like you said,” she replied with a smile.
Killian placed his hand on his wife’s belly. Emma covered his hand with hers. “Turns out, you were right. I do have a little pirate in me.”
Killian laughed and then kissed his wife again. “Or princess,” he whispered.
...
Killian always woke up before his wife. Life spent on the sea makes you an early riser. And in those moments before she woke, he would admire her. Admire the curve of her mouth and the softness of her skin. He’d marvel at the fact that she was his. That she had chosen him. And, now, as she neared the end of the first trimester of her pregnancy, he would stare awestruck at the tiny bump that had risen up from her flat stomach.
She always moved a lot when she slept, so it wasn’t unusual to find her camisole hiked halfway up her torso, resting just below her breasts. He’d smile at the little bump, amazed that their love had created life, that in mere months they would be meeting their child. Eventually, his hand would slide over his wife’s bare skin and come to rest on their unborn child. This morning was no different.
He whispered. “I can hardly wait to meet you, little one. Your mother and I already love you so much.”
And then he scooted closer to her and propped his chin up on her hip.
“If I’m being completely forthright, your mother and I are a bit nervous at your impending arrival. We’ve never cared for an infant before. But I don’t want you to worry. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that we make quite the team, always have, and we can do anything together.”
Suddenly, he felt his wife’s fingers thread through his hair.
“That’s right, we do,” Emma said softly.
Killian moved his eyes up to meet hers. “Good morning, love.”
“Morning. Giving our baby its morning pep talk?”
“That’s right,” he said, pressing a kiss to her belly.
Emma laughed as her husband’s scruff tickled her skin. He moved upwards, trailing kisses all the way up her torso until he met her lips. He cut off her laugh with his mouth and then pulled back, dropping onto the pillow beside her.
They stared at each other for a long moment until Emma broke the silence.
“We can do this, Killian. When I found out I was pregnant while I was a teenager in prison, I was so scared. I knew that I couldn’t raise a child. I was all alone and so broken. But things are different now. I have you. We have each other. And, yes, I am still scared, but in an entirely different way. Because this time I know I can raise our child and I have the comfort of knowing I will face any challenges with my husband.”
Killian smiled, as she reached out and caressed his cheek. “Aye, love. I’m frightened as well. There was a long time when I believed I had no business being a father. And for a long time, it was true. I wasn’t a man who deserved to raise another human being. But you changed all of that. You helped me find the good in me again. You made me believe I could be better and now I have everything I could have ever wanted. I know this won’t be easy. We will face many challenges, just like we always do, but we will face them together.”
Emma smiled. “I love you so much. There isn’t anyone else I’d rather go on this journey with.”
“I love you too, Swan.”
Emma found his hand and linked their fingers together. She placed their joined hands over her belly.
“My doctor said we can find out if it’s a boy or girl at my next appointment. And soon our baby will be kicking.”
“I’ve been on the other end of your kicks, Emma. If our child has your leg strength, then I certainly don’t envy you,” he said with a chuckle.
Emma laughed, as their hands remained joined on her belly. Her laugh slowly subsided and her expression grew serious. Killian knew that look.
“Everything’s perfect except for one thing, right?” he asked.
Emma nodded. “I miss Henry. I want him to know he’s going to be a big brother. I want to share this time with him. But, more than anything, I need to know he’s okay.”
“Your son is strong and smart, love. I am sure he is fine.”
As if on cue, the bottle that they always kept on their nightstand came to life. Their eyes widened as a familiar voice came from the bottle.
“Help, I’ve been captured by Lady Tremaine. Send Emma, Regina, and Captain Hook.”
Emma scooted up in bed, alarm written across her face, as she took the bottle in her hands.
“Henry!”
“He can’t hear you, Swan. It doesn’t work like that.”
Suddenly, a portal appeared at the foot of their bed.
“Henry needs our help. We need to get to him,” Emma said, fear swimming in her eyes.
Killian placed his hand back on her belly as she began to move out of bed.
“Emma, you need to rest. You can’t go traipsing off to some unknown realm. It could be dangerous for you and the baby,” he said.
“Killian, I am not an invalid. My son needs me. I am not going to sit here and let him fend for himself.”
“Regina and I will go.”
“Killian-...”
“If Henry knew that you were expecting his brother or sister, he would never want you to put yourself in harm’s way. He wouldn’t have called for you.”
Emma felt tears fill her eyes. “But he did. I wasn’t there for him when he needed me for the first ten years of his life, Killian. After he found me, I swore I would never allow that to happen again. I would be there for him no matter what.”
Killian brought his hand to his wife’s cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb. “How about a compromise? Give us an hour. If we’re not back by then, you can come. Just say my name into the bottle and the portal will reappear.”
Emma slowly let out a resigned sigh. Her husband had been so overprotective since learning she was pregnant and was constantly worrying about them. They had waited so long for this baby and they would both be devastated if anything happened to it.
“Fine. One hour,” she reluctantly agreed.
Killian smiled in relief and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Thank you.”
Emma stroked his cheek and whispered, “Be careful.”
“Always,” he replied softly, as he got out of bed.
...
Hours later, Emma and Killian appeared back in their bedroom. Emma turned to her husband, but didn’t have to say a word.
“I know, love,” he said, gathering her in his arms.
Emma squeezed her eyes closed, as she nuzzled her face into the crook of her husband’s neck. After a few minutes of allowing his warmth to comfort her, she pulled back and met his eyes.
“I’m scared for him, Killian,” she said. “There’s so much danger in those realms and he’s not from there. He’s already made an enemy out of Lady Tremaine. And he doesn’t possess any magic.”
“But Regina does. She will watch out for him.”
“And so will you. Well, that version of you at least.”
“Aye. There’s no version of me that would ever allow anything to happen to your boy.”
Emma stepped forward and snaked her arms around her husband’s neck. “It does make me feel better knowing that some part of you is watching out for him.”
Killian smiled. “And you, love, get to have the original.”
Emma smiled and kissed him. “Nothing compares to the original.”
Her smile faded and she brought her hand to her stomach. “I just wish we could be the complete family I’ve always wanted. I know I should be happy with what I have. I went from having no one to having parents, a brother, a husband, a son, and another child on the way. Maybe I’m just being selfish and greedy wanting us all to be together.”
“That’s neither selfish nor greedy. It’s completely normal to want the people you love altogether, especially after everything you’ve been through. And, one day, I believe you will have that, Swan. But, right now, Henry needs to find his own story. He needs to find his own true love. Imagine if someone or something had prevented us from meeting. Imagine how different things would be.”
Emma shook her head. “I don’t want to imagine that. I can’t imagine my life without you, Killian.”
“Nor I you. And that’s my point. If Henry’s true love is out there, be it Cinderella or someone else entirely, then he owes it to himself to find out. And when he’s ready, he will come back to us.”
“I hope so,” she said softly.
Killian pulled her back into his arms. “I know it.”
…
Emma and Killian sat in the waiting room of her doctor’s office. Killian was doing a Highlights magazine to pass the time.
“Bloody hell!” he groaned, as he tapped the page with his hook. “I can’t find the fifth hidden bunny.”
Emma laughed. “You do know that’s for kids, right?”
“You know I enjoy a good hunt, love.”
“Spends centuries finding hidden treasure, but can’t locate a hidden bunny in a children’s magazine,” she said with a chuckle.
Killian frowned. “This is utterly impossible. They must have made an error. There are only four hidden bunnies.”
Just then, a three year old girl walked over to him. She looked down at the magazine on his lap and pointed at the page.
“Bunny!” she said with a smile.
Killian’s jaw tightened as the little girl easily found the missing bunny. Emma had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.
“I was just about to circle that,” he muttered.
“Emma Swan-Jones,” the nurse called from the doorway.
Emma pulled the magazine away from Killian and handed it to the little girl. They stood and joined hands as the nurse led the way inside.
Emma lay on the table and Killian stood by her side, still holding her hand. Dr. Nora Johnston pulled her shirt up and placed the transducer on her stomach. Soon, the monitor sprung to life and their baby appeared on the screen. Emma and Killian’s faces lit up. It would never get old seeing the little miracle they created. Or hearing the sound of their child’s heartbeat fill the room.
Killian squeezed Emma’s hand and placed a kiss to her forehead. “So beautiful,” he whispered.
“Everything looks great,” the doctor said. “So, Mommy and Daddy, would you like to know if you’re having a little pirate or princess?”
Emma and Killian exchanged a look. They had discussed it and decided they wanted to know the sex of the baby. Meeting their child for the first time would be an amazing enough gift. They didn’t need to be surprised by its gender.
“Yes,” Emma said with a nod.
“Aye,” Killian replied.
“Hoping for one in particular?” the doctor asked.
Killian shook his head. “All we want is a healthy baby,” he said.
The doctor nodded and then pointed to the screen. Well, Mommy and Daddy, meet your little princess.”
Their mouths dropped open as their gazes met. Emma felt tears fill her eyes, as Killian placed a kiss on her lips.
“A little girl,” he whispered, as he pulled back, but kept his forehead touching his wife’s.
“A daughter,” she said softly.
All that mattered was that the baby was healthy, but Emma would be lying if she said she wasn’t excited about having a son and a daughter. And the mere thought of Killian with their little girl made her heart melt.
Killian stroked her cheek. “I am sure she is going to be as beautiful and as strong as her mother.”
Emma smiled, as he brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on it.
The doctor grinned at them. “Congratulations.”
…
One month later, Emma and Killian were curled up on the couch together, watching a movie. Emma’s head lay on his shoulder and his arm was wrapped tightly around her. Killian’s hand rested on her growing bump.
Suddenly, his eyes widened and he nearly jumped up off the couch. His hand pulled away and he stared at his wife.
“Bloody hell!”
Emma’s lips turned into a huge smile. Up until then, she had only felt the baby flutter. “That was the baby’s first kick. And you felt it.”
Killian’s shock gave way to awe. Emma pulled his hand back to her belly and laughed as the baby kicked again.
“Amazing,” he said softly.
“Yeah, it is. Can you believe we created this little thing?”
He bobbed his head with a grin. “Well, I can certainly believe she has your genes. I knew she would have quite a kick.”
Emma smiled and reached up to stroke her husband’s jaw. “Don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll inherit a great right hook from you.”
Killian smiled and placed a kiss to his wife’s lips.
…
“Emma?” Killian called, as he knocked on the bathroom door. “Are you alright, love? You’ve been in there for quite some time. We’re going to be late for Granny’s birthday party.”
“I’m not going!” she yelled through the door.
Killian’s brow furrowed with worry. “Why? Are you feeling ill? Open the door, Swan.”
Emma threw the door open a moment later and stood before her husband. She gestured to her belly.
“I’m not going because nothing fits me. I just started my third trimester and I’m a human blimp!”
Killian shook his head. “Emma, you’re exaggerating. You have a perfectly normal size baby bump for a woman beginning her third trimester. You look beautiful.”
She scoffed. “I don’t feel beautiful. I have to pee every five minutes, I have acne in weird places, my ankles are swollen to the size of watermelons, I’m starting to waddle, and your daughter is playing my uterus like it’s a set of bongos.”
Killian bit his lip to keep from laughing. Emma swatted his arm.
“It’s not funny!”
“I know, love,” he said, taking her hand in his and leading her to the full length mirror.
He stood behind her and took their joined hands and placed it on her belly.
“I wish you could see what I see every time I look at you,” he whispered in her ear.
“A beached whale?”
“My beautiful wife, who is protecting our daughter and providing a home for her while she grows everyday. You, love, are making sure she grows big and strong by giving her the nourishment she requires. This lovely belly of yours is proof of what an amazing mother you already are to our child.”
Emma’s face softened and she squeezed his hand in hers. She lifted her other hand and cupped the back of his head, as she brought her lips to meet his.
When they parted, she smiled up at him. “You always know the right thing to say to make me feel better. I don’t know how you do it.”
Killian shrugged. “Well, if I’m being completely honest, when your father learned of your pregnancy he warned me this day would come, so I’ve been prepared with that speech for quite some time.”
Emma laughed and shook her head, as Killian kissed her neck.
…
At 36 weeks, Emma was placed on bedrest. Her blood pressure was high and she was at risk for preeclampsia. Her doctor didn’t want to take any risks.
Of course, bedrest for someone as active as Emma was proving to be a challenge. She had ceased working in the field when she began her third trimester, but she was still able to assist at the station. Now, she was stuck in bed with nothing to do. It had only been a week and she was going stir crazy. Killian had insisted on waiting on her hand and foot. He hadn’t left her side, but his overprotectiveness was beginning to drive her a bit nuts.
Emma moved to get out of bed. Killian, who was sitting in a chair by the bed, whipped his head in her direction.
“Where the devil do you think you’re going? You’re supposed to be on bedrest.”
“The bathroom. Do you mind?”
He waved his hand. “Proceed.”
Emma returned a few minutes later. “You know, you don’t need to stay by my side every minute of everyday. I’m not an invalid.”
Killian nodded. “I’m well aware, love. I also know you far too well. And if I leave you to your own devices then you will surely do as you please.”
“I’m not going to do anything to endanger our daughter.”
“I know, but you don’t believe that you should be on bedrest.”
“Because I’m fine.”
“So, therefore, I must make sure you follow doctor’s orders.”
“Okay, fine, but I’m going crazy with boredom. I’m tired of reading and watching TV. And I can only surf online for so many hours.”
Killian picked up the baby book of names. “Perhaps we should use our time wisely and revisit potential baby names.”
Emma groaned. “Really? It didn’t go so well last time. We couldn’t agree on any names. And your choices were...questionable.”
“I think Smee is a perfectly suitable name for a lass.”
Emma laughed and shook her head. “You’re crazy.”
“As is Roger and Jolly.”
Emma rolled her eyes. “Roger is a boy’s name and Jolly is something you name a pet.”
“Tell that to Happy,” he muttered.
“He’s a dwarf. He doesn’t count,” she replied.
Killian sighed and crawled into bed beside her. He placed his hand on his wife’s belly. “Well, I do have another suggestion, but since you already think me mad, perhaps I should keep it to myself.”
Emma lifted her hand and ran it through her husband’s thick locks. “Tell me.”
Killian met Emma’s gaze. “Leia.”
Emma felt a smile pull at her lips. “Leia. Hmm.”
“Would you like to know why?”
“Because Henry turned you onto Star Wars and you’re proud you can actually understand and use some pop culture references now?”
Killian shook his head. “No, love. Because Leia was the name you used during our trip back in time when we attended the ball together. Things changed for us that night, Emma. We shared our first dance together and when I held you in my arms and looked into your eyes, I knew you saw me as more than a pirate. For the first time, I believed I could have a future with you. Before, it had just been wishful thinking with a healthy dose of hope. But now I could actually see you loving me.”
Emma smiled as she stroked his cheek. “I was falling hard and fast. Probably already had fallen, but I couldn’t admit it to myself yet. I did see you differently. I could see that good man that had been hidden away for so long. I could see a future with you and it scared me.”
Killian nodded. “Aye, and we still had a long way to go, but it was a turning point for us. It was the beginning of our future. And everytime I look at our daughter and say her name, I want to remember how it all began. I want to remember what made all of this possible.”
Emma felt Leia kick and Killian’s eyes widened as his hand jumped off his wife’s belly.
She smiled as she met her husband’s gaze. “I think she approves. Leia it is.”
Killian grinned, as his lips met Emma’s.
…
Three weeks later, Emma screamed from their bed. “Killian!”
He came rushing in from the hallway. “What is it, love? Are you okay?”
“My water broke,” she said, as she felt a contraction course through her body.
Killian breathed a sigh of relief. “Not to worry, Emma. I’ll simply get you another glass of water.”
Emma gritted her teeth together and lifted the comforter. “Not that water!”
Killian’s eyes widened at the wet spot that was below his wife. “Bloody hell!”
“My contractions have started.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, don’t panic, love.”
“I’m not panicking. We need to get to the hospital though.”
“I’ll call 911 for an ambulance.” He glanced around the bedroom frantically. “Where is my talking phone?!”
“Killian,” Emma began calmly. “The hospital is only a few minutes away. It will take longer to wait for an ambulance.”
“You shouldn’t drive in your condition.”
She spoke through gritted teeth. “You need to drive!”
“Well, Swan, it’s true you taught me how to operate those metal contraptions and I do possess a license, but I’ve yet to use it. I’m not sure right now is-...”
“Ahhh!” she screamed, her face growing red, as another contraction ripped through her.
“Okay, love, I’ll drive,” he said.
He helped his wife out of bed. Killian grabbed Emma’s bag out of the closet and then helped her down the stairs. He tucked her into the passenger seat of their new SUV. For safety’s sake, Killian had insisted on getting it after they found out they were having a baby. Of course, Emma still wouldn’t part with her VW bug.
Killian got into the driver’s seat and took a deep breath. Emma winced, as her nails dug into the armrest.
“The key goes in this hole,” he mumbled, as he stuck the key in the ignition. “And then you turn it.”
Killian smiled as the SUV roared to life. He stared at the steering wheel for a moment and then pushed up a lever.
“Those are the windshield wipers,” Emma grimaced.
“Of course,” he said pushing the lever back down.
Emma groaned and reached over, putting the car into drive.
“Go!” she bellowed, as another contraction ripped through her body. “The contractions are coming really close together!”
Killian kept his foot on the brake. “Love, perhaps you could just poof us to the hospital. It would be faster and, I’d wager, safer.”
Emma shook her head, as she took deep breaths. “I don’t think I can control my magic right now. Who knows where we would end up.”
“Fair enough, but-...”
“If you don’t start driving, I am going to have this baby on our front lawn and you’re going to have to deliver it!”
Killian shrugged. “Well, I actually have birthed a baby before. I helped a wench give birth right on the deck of my ship. It was a challenge with my hook, but you know how resourceful I can be and I am quite handy-...”
“DRIVE!!!!” she screamed.
Killian pressed the gas and proceeded to drive haltingly, stopping every few feet and never going above 5 mph.
“Killian Jones, if you don’t start driving for real, I am going to jam that hook of yours-...”
Killian nodded, cutting her off. “Aye, Swan, say no more. I’ll drive.”
He then proceeded to floor it to 15 mph.
…
The nurse helped Emma get into bed, as Killian stood by her side. He held her hand and brushed her hair back, as another contraction tore through her.
“You’re doing brilliant, love.”
Emma’s doctor came in and smiled at them. She performed an exam and then nodded. “It won’t be long now. You’re almost fully dilated already.”
Emma squeezed Killian’s hand so hard he thought she would break it, but he simply smiled and whispered comforting words in her ear.
Before long, it was time to push. Emma screamed, as she surged forward and Killian supported her back. She lay back, panting, her hair plastered to her forehead. Killian brushed it aside and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“You’re so amazing, Emma,” he said. “I am so proud of you.”
She pushed again, gritting her teeth together and squeezing Killian’s hook. A few more pushes and then a scream pierced the air.
A moment later, the doctor held up their baby girl, as Emma and Killian looked on in awe.
“She’s here,” Emma whispered, as tears rolled down her face.
“And she is stunning, just like her mother,” Killian said softly.
Killian cut the umbilical cord and then they placed the baby in Emma’s arms. Emma smiled at their daughter, as Killian wrapped his arm around his wife’s shoulders and placed his finger in their little girl’s tiny hand.
“Welcome to the world, Leia Swan-Jones,” Emma said.
“Your mother and I love you so much,” Killian added.
Emma looked up at her husband, her true love, and she felt like her heart would burst. Killian pressed his lips to his wife’s.
“You were incredible, Emma. I love you.”
“I love you too,” she said, as he swiped away a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “We’re a family,” she whispered.
Killian smiled, as he placed a kiss to his wife’s temple. “Aye, love, that we are.”
In that moment, Emma marveled at how the lost little girl and boy, who had been abandoned and broken, had somehow found each other and were now surrounded by family, their lives overflowing with love. She knew in her heart that one day soon they would all be together again and their family would only grow with time.
...THE END...
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. I’d love to know what you thought. ~Steph
A/N: Sooooo this came about because @xpumpkindumplingx and @ive-always-been-a-pirate were talking about some horrible scene from The Vampire Diaries and my muse, whose head had been in the sand all day instantly perked up and went Hey, write the thing. So I did. This little ficlet has gotten Sharpie Killian, the love of my life, thrown into a dungeon by his creator but fear not my love, for I have something in the works to get you out of there! This was originally going to be a one-shot but I decided to do a few parts to it and have it as sort of a canon divergence for 5B scenes until we ACTUALLY get a reunion on screen. So if you don’t follow spoilers don’t worry, any scenes that happen after they enter the UW won’t be written until episodes air! *runs to the fort and hides from M*
Rated AF for angsty as fuck.
Emma started to see him right after he had taken his last breath. He was always there, a piece of him left behind to help her grieving heart with his usual charm and sassy remarks. But can she find Killian in Hades’s twisted world with his ghost walking beside her?
And there’s no remedy for memory. Your face is like a melody, it won’t leave my head. Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine. But I wish I was dead (dead like you)
She started to see him almost instantly.
He was there, standing off to the side in the shadow of the treeline, his hook glinting in the moonlight as her father knelt quietly beside her. He was beside her father when the paramedics arrived and through her blurred vision and sobs of his name she watched his hand rise to rest on her father’s shoulder, the simple touch seeming to give David the strength to pull Emma away from Killian’s lifeless body even as she fought every step. He stood next to the gurney as the paramedics gently lifted him, watching in silent contemplation as they covered him with a white sheet. He was by her side as they started to take him away, her grip on his cold hand tight until she heard him whisper, “Let go, love.” He stood behind her mother as Emma fell into her arms, sobs wracking her body as those too-blue eyes watched her sadly.
She didn’t know how long she stayed wrapped in her mother’s comforting embrace - it could have been minutes or hours - but the next thing she knew her mother was gently moving her to her father’s arms and Emma grasped his strong form tightly, willing his strength to ground her while her entire world spiraled out of control. Killian was still there, now stood next to her father as Regina moved to talk to her mother. Their voices were low, almost hushed whispers, but their words carried back to her as if the two women were stood right next to her.
“What do we now?” Mary Margaret asked quietly, the pain she felt for her daughter evident in her voice.
“All we can do is be there for Emma,” Regina responded, her own voice strained with emotion. “Make sure she’s comfortable, give her time to grieve and… and make arrangements for the burial.”
Through her tears she saw her mother’s eyes flicker toward her before looking back at Regina. “She’s not in any kind of state to do that, Regina. I don’t think she will be for some time.”
The former Evil Queen sighed, her hands moving to the pockets of her coat. “I can… help with that.”
“You can?” Mary Margaret asked in surprise.
Regina nodded. “I can have the pir- Killian moved from the hospital to my vault, keep his body preserved with an enchantment spell until she’s ready to say good-bye.”
“That’s kind of you, Regina.”
“I know what’s she going through… somewhat,” Regina whispered sadly. “When Daniel died I- I wasn’t able to fully let go. It’s why I preserved him.”
Mary Margaret nodded in understanding. “Thank you.”
“Of course. I’ll take Henry home with me tonight as well. She needs space and time to heal right now.”
The rest of their conversation drifted away from her as her eyes moved back to the unmoving form of Killian stood next to her father, his own attention on her. Unable to handle the sight of those blue eyes that would never shine with love for her again she buried her face in her father’s chest, a ragged, “Dad” escaping her.
“I know,” David gently whispered, cradling the back of her head as if she were still a baby. “I know.”
He walked behind her and her parents the entire way back to town, his boots making no noise as they walked along the pavement, a smile of comfort on his lips every time she looked over her shoulder. He stood in silent support as she told her parents she wanted to go back to the house, to their home, that she just needed to be alone for the night - even if she wasn’t truly alone. He was there every step she took toward the house he and Henry had picked out, slowly climbing the stairs with her and waiting patiently by the front door as she fumbled for the house keys. He was sat in the chair she had imagined would be his as she curled into a ball on the couch, her hand clasped tightly around the ring he had given her all those weeks ago, silent tears streaming down her cheeks until exhaustion overtook her.
He stayed through the night, her swollen eyes opening periodically from sleep to find him never far from her and she would quickly shut her eyes at finding him in the room, fresh tears falling from her closed eyes as the urge to sleep overwhelmed her. Come morning he was still there, leaning against the wall with his legs crossed at the ankles while she lay on her back tracing the flower design on his brother’s ring, her eyes fixed on the ceiling above her and desperately trying not to acknowledge the presence she knew couldn’t be there.
Because Killian was dead and she had been the one to kill him.
“It wasn’t your fault, love. No one is to blame for what happened to me except for myself.”
Emma’s eyes shut at the familiar accented voice, her index finger digging almost painfully into the side of the ring around her neck. The very ring that he believed had kept him alive for centuries, one of the few links he had left to his beloved brother and he had given it to her in Camelot without a second thought. Would he have survived his altercation with Arthur without Excalibur cutting him if he had it?
“You can’t think like that, Swan.”
“You aren’t really here,” she whispered into the quiet room, fresh tears gathering behind her closed eyes. He couldn't be here. She had been there when he crumbled to the ground, her ear pressed over his heart as it beat for the last time. Killian was in Regina’s vault, the former Evil Queen’s whispered words to her mother that she would keep his body preserved until Emma was ready to say good-bye echoing back to her.
He wasn’t here.
“Open your eyes, Emma.”
Her eyes opened instinctively at the sound of her given name and not one of his terms of endearment or even her last name. Blinking against the tears clouding her vision she turned her head to see him now sitting on the small coffee table beside her, leaning forward with his arms resting on his parted thighs, his fingers absently running along the curve of his hook. The clothes he had donned as the Dark One were gone, his lean and muscular frame once again encased in the familiar black leather of his pirating days, shirt and vest opened an obscene amount as his long coat fit him like a glove. Eyes that were somehow bright despite his current status of being dead looked at her, worry evident in their blue depths.
“Emma…”
“You died,” she croaked, voice thick with unshed tears. He blinked in surprise at her direct question, momentarily thrown off guard after she had spent the entire night pretending he wasn’t there.
“Aye,” he quietly replied, eyes never leaving her. “I did.”
“I don’t… I don’t understand. How are you here then?”
His fingers stilled momentarily on his hook, something flickering within the depths of his eyes before he slowly shook his head. “I’m not sure why I’m here, love. All I know is something stopped my soul from fully going to the Underworld.”
Unable to detect a lie from his words she started to ask another question when a thought struck her, causing her eyes to widen and her heart to beat frantically. “But the Darkness… if you’re still here then it wasn’t destroyed. Everyone is still in danger-”
Killian held up hand and hook to stop her. “The Darkness was destroyed, Swan. The fact you are no longer cursed by it is proof enough of that. I died and despite this projection of myself most of my soul went to the Underworld, fulfilling the requirement to break the Dark Curse once and for all.”
Emma slowly sat up on the couch, her heart still pounding against her chest. “I don’t understand. Your body is in Regina’s vault and if your soul went to the Underworld then… then what am I seeing in front of me right now?”
“Just a glimpse of my soul that, for whatever reason, was unable to leave this realm.”
With eyes dry for the first time in twelve hours she really looked at him. Whatever she was seeing looked real enough - he was solid, full of color and life despite the circumstances, his chest even rising and falling softly as he breathed. The wound from Excalibur that had appeared seconds before he collapsed in her arms was gone, not a hint that the ancient blade’s cut in Camelot had ever been there. Even his red vest was untouched from where she had stabbed him, not a cut or blood marring the embroidered fabric.
“So you’re a… ghost?”
A smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. “For lack of a better word, aye, I suppose I am.”
“A bit different than the Hollywood version of ghosts having to inhabit bodies in order to communicate,” she mumbled.
Killian tilted his head. “I know when you’re referencing something I don’t know, love.”
Emma smiled but then had to blink back fresh tears. He really did always know when she was quoting or referencing something from her world and he always took it in stride, never becoming flustered at his lack of knowledge or feeling like she was intentionally trying to make him feel out of place. It was their thing, one of those little quirks all relationships eventually develop and now… now she was left with experiencing those moments with his ghost rather than the flesh and blood man he had been.
“Swan, everything alright?”
Emma nodded, the urge to feel warm leather and skin beneath her fingertips overwhelming her. Grasping his brother’s ring tightly in her left hand she whispered, “Can I touch you?”
“I- I don’t know. It would seem I’m able to interact with the environment around me as I’m able to sit on the table here but I… No one has touched me since I appeared at the lake.”
“Please,” she quietly pleaded, her voice sounding vulnerable even to her own ears. After a brief pause he softly nodded, unable to deny her anything even in death. Never letting go of the ring that had become her anchor since their return to Storybrooke Emma leaned forward, cautiously reaching for him. Her right hand hovered above his arm for a moment, eyes fixed on the sharp instrument that had never made him less of a man in her eyes before slowly bringing it down.
But instead of soft leather beneath her fingertips there was only air, her hand passing through his arm and leg as if he were nothing more than smoke.
Emma’s face instantly crumbled, the tears she had been holding back cascading down her cheeks as a sob tore through her body. It was like losing him all over again. With her heart breaking into a million pieces she jerked her hand back to her lap, her body doubling over as heaving sobs shook her entire frame, breath catching in her throat with every one of them. What had she ever done to deserve this type of pain? She could see him, talk to him, even hear the movements of his long jacket as he undoubtedly moved to comfort her but she couldn’t do something as simple as touch him.
Hadn’t she already lost enough with him dying?
“Swan… Emma, it’s okay. Don’t cry, love.”
Emma shook her head as more tears fell from her closed eyes. “I-I can’t do this,” she sobbed. Not being able to reach out and take his hand was a stark reminder that although a part of him had stayed behind, he wasn’t really there. Her Killian, the one who would wrap her in leather clad arms and who could soothe her very soul with just a touch of his hand, was gone - forever.
“Emma, I’m still here.”
“But yo-you’re not,” she gasped, hand tightening around his brother’s ring. “You’re gone, Killian. You’re dead and it- it’s all my fault.”
She was about to tell him to just go, that she couldn’t handle being able to see him but not touch him when she felt it. The sensation of a warm breeze brushed her cheek but instead of disappearing as quickly as it had come it stayed, a constant movement against her flushed face. And it had a smell. It was the unmistakable smell of the ocean, so strong she could have been standing on the deck of the Jolly Roger in the midst of that vast and blue wonder rather than sitting in her living room. Her eyes flew open as her head jerked up to find Killian kneeling on the floor in front of her, his hand gently cupping her cheek.
“Emma-”
“I can feel that.”
Blue eyes widened slightly at her words. “You can?”
Emma nodded, sniffling as her tears momentarily stopped. “It’s not- it’s not like your normal touch. I can’t feel… you but it’s… it’s like a breeze out on the ocean.”
His eyes fell to where his hand rested against her cheek and she watched as he moved his hand further back until his fingers ghosted along the side of her neck, the warm breeze moving as he did and causing the hair that had fallen over her shoulder to blow slightly as he touched it.
“Did you feel that?”
Emma nodded again, her eyes locked on him. She saw him raise his hooked arm from his side out of her peripheral vision and seconds later she felt another breeze, this time a few degrees colder against her hand that still held his ring.
“And that?”
“Yes,” Emma gasped, glancing down to see his hook touching the back of her hand and not falling through her. Looking back up at him she smiled for the first time in six weeks.
“You can touch me.”
“Aye,” he breathed, eyes a bright blue. “I can.”
As he leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers with the soft breeze that marked his touch now caressing her entire face, Emma closed her eyes against the onslaught of emotions that hit her. The ever present sadness that had settled into her very soul as he took his last breath still lingered there, a constant reminder that he wasn’t truly here, that nothing would ever be the same for her without him. But beneath that she could feel a spark of joy at having just this last image of him, to still be able to talk to him and hear his voice, and to have the sensation of a touch from him. This was her chance to ask for forgiveness, to let him know how truly sorry she was for everything - sacrificing herself to the Darkness, her decision to go against his wishes in Camelot, every ounce of hurt she had made him endure when they returned to Storybrooke - all of it.
But before she could say any of the words that needed to be said a dark and familiar whispering filled her mind. Eyes snapping open she leaned away from Killian, the warm breeze of his touch disappearing as she looked around the room.
“Swan? What’s wrong?”
“I can hear it,” she murmured, trying to focus on where the sound was coming from.
Killian furrowed his brow in confusion. “You can hear what, love?”
“The dagger… it’s calling to me.”
“That’s impossible,” he responded, quickly moving so he was standing in front of her instead of kneeling. “The Darkness was destroyed with my death.”
“I know,” she agreed, looking up at him, “But I hear it Killian. I lived with that voice in my head for weeks, I know what it sounds like. You can’t hear it?”
Killian shook his head. “No, I don’t. It can’t be that, Swan. The Darkness is gone, you more than likely just need a good night’s rest.”
He was right, the Darkness was gone but she also knew she wasn’t imagining the whisper. That sound would forever haunt her dreams, the silent call of the dagger to its master, and despite the golden locks that tumbled around her shoulders and the feel of her light magic humming beneath her skin, she was still hearing it. It was impossible but… Focusing on the sound she let it mentally pull her to where it was coming from and when she discovered its location her eyes snapped back to Killian.
“It’s coming from Gold’s shop.”
“This isn’t indicative of the dagger being here, Swan,” Killian commented from his spot beside her, causing her to give him her best really? look.
They had left the house within moments of Emma pinpointing where the call of the dagger was coming from, Killian reminding her over and over again on the short walk to Gold’s shop that she couldn’t possibly be hearing the Darkness. She didn’t deny that it was impossible. The Dark Curse had to have been broken in order for her to physically revert back to being the Savior and for Excalibur, whose blade held the dagger that had controlled every Dark One since Nimue, to crumble into ash. But she couldn’t let the possibility of the Darkness surviving go until she had investigated it, not when the man she loved had died in order to destroy it and all she was left with of him was his ghost walking beside her.
After texting Gold to meet her there they had broken into the shop - “Always knew you were a pirate, love” - and once inside the call of the dagger had been stronger, physically pulling her to the main counter. She had seen nothing that resembled a dagger but the whispering was still there, louder and more urgent, with only Killian’s voice breaking through the continuous call of the blade to its former master.
“What makes you say that?” she asked, leaning her weight on the display case as she once again tried to find the source of the whispering.
“Gold was the Dark One for centuries, love. I would be shocked if he didn’t have objects with nefarious magic lying about his shop that your magic was picking up on.”
“It’s not just black magic,” Emma murmured. “It’s the Darkness.”
Killian tilted his head toward her. “Swan, I told you-”
“I know, I know. It’s impossible but I’m telling you-”
“Telling me what, Miss Swan?”
Emma turned to see Gold entering the shop, dressed in his normal dark suit and watching her intently. She forced herself not to look in Killian’s direction - the last thing she needed was for Gold to find out she was seeing her dead boyfriend - and smiled disarmingly at the pawn shop owner.
“Nothing, I was just talking to myself.”
Gold stared at her for a long moment, carefully scrutinizing her as if weighing the truth of her words before walking further into the shop. “That’s a dangerous habit to have, Miss Swan. That being said, this isn’t the library or Granny’s or some bus station - this is my shop. And unless the sign says open, you’re not invited.”
“You always did have the manners of a kraken,” Killian muttered under his breath.
Ignoring Killian’s response - and mentally making a note to ask him if krakens really did exist - Emma watched Gold settle behind the counter.
“I think I was invited,” she replied steadily. “I hear whispers. It’s the dagger, calling to me.”
Gold stilled, the emotionless mask he always had in place slipping for the briefest moment to reveal surprise before quickly recovering - but not quick enough to hide the slip from her. Shaking his head he responded, “You’re upset, imagining things-”
“No, I’m not,” Emma interrupted, more certain than ever that what she was hearing was in fact the call of the Darkness. “It’s here, isn’t it? You have it.”
Gold stared at her, seeming to ponder her question as if she had just asked him to do the right thing and save someone’s life. When he made no move to speak she felt the warm breeze that signaled Killian’s touch against her arm, even through the leather of her jacket. “Swan, I told you--”
Before Killian could finish his sentence Gold looked down in amused resignation, reaching into the display case between them and bringing a sheathed item up. “Yes, I do,” the pawn shop owner admitted, removing the piece of cloth to reveal a dagger, similar in size and shape to the original one with Rumplestiltskin carved into the depth of the blade.
“Bloody hell,” Killian muttered beside her and she didn’t have to look at him to know his eyes were fixed on the newly minted dagger like her own were. She hadn’t been imagining the whispering. It was the dagger calling to her, a newly made one, with Gold’s real name emblazoned on it. But that could only mean one thing….
“You are the Dark One… again,” she whispered, still unable to fully process what she was seeing.
“Yes,” Gold chuckled. “I’d hoped to keep that a secret. Wasn’t expecting you to hear it but most ex Dark Ones are dead.”
Emma looked up from the dagger to Gold’s gloating face, her eyes widening in shock. She knew she had heard the whispering but to have confirmation… “How is this possible?” she asked at the same time she heard Killian growl, “What did you do, Crocodile?”
“When you came to me asking for the sword I seen an opportunity,” Gold explained, “A chance I had never imagined would present itself again. As fate would have it, a small vial of magic was close at hand. One sprinkle, and I knew I could get it all back.” Gold smirked. “I turned the sword into a conduit so that while Hook thought he was destroying the darkness, he was actually… moving it, channeling it some place safe.”
“Into you,” she summarized, anger lacing her words.
“He had no idea,” Gold supplied, moving to lean on the counter. “And now, things are as they should be.”
White hot anger flared within Emma. How dare this coward of a man make Killian’s death in vain. “Killian sacrificed himself and you took that away from him,” she seethed, raising her right hand with every intent to strangle the pawn shop owner with her bare hand. Before she could reach him Gold held up his own hand, instantly freezing her in place. Movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention and she looked to see Killian, who had somehow gotten around the counter lunge at Gold with his hook, eyes dark with rage. Her heart hammered against her chest at the idea of Gold discovering Killian’s soul wasn’t fully in the Underworld but that fear was quickly squashed when Killian’s form turned transparent as his hook connected with the Dark One’s back, sending him stumbling through Gold and to the floor of the pawnshop.
She watched in surprise as Gold visibly shivered while Killian’s sudden transparent form passed through him before turning his head, as if expecting to see the source of the breeze he had felt. Upon not finding anything he turned his attention back to her, releasing his magical hold on her.
“Do you honestly think that you can hurt me?” he calmly asked. “I now have the combined power of every Dark One who ever lived… including you.”
Emma stared at the pawn shop owner in disgust. “You found a loophole and betrayed us all, again.”
“It’s what I do,” Gold replied with a shrug, straightening to his full height. “It’s the man I am.”
Killian, once again in solid form rose at that moment from his hard fall to the floor and an idea formed in Emma’s mind. It was insane at best, one she knew Killian would fight her on, but there was one silver lining to Gold being the Dark One again.
“Well then, Dark One,” she began, squaring her shoulders. “Now that you have your power back, you’re going to do something for me.”
Killian’s dark head snapped up at her words, blue eyes wide with worry. “Swan, what are you doing?”
Gold scoffed. “And why would I do anything for you?”
“Emma…”
“Because I still have magic,” she stated, ignoring Killian’s continued pleas. “And I’m willing to bet I can get to Belle and tell her everything before you can kill me.”
“Don’t test me,” Gold threatened.
“Don’t test me,” Emma snapped, her palms sparking with her magic. “You really want to take that chance? That she will once again know the kind of man you really are?”
Killian moved around the counter then, coming to stand so close to her she could feel the breeze of his touch over her whole body, hoping that Gold didn’t notice the slight movement of her hair. “Emma… love, what are you doing? You know better than to make a deal with the bloody Crocodile.”
“There is no deal,” she said, answering Killian as much as she was telling Gold. “You will help me and expect nothing but my silence in return, do you understand me, Dark One?”
She watched Gold contemplate his options, his index finger carefully running along the edge of his new dagger. She knew this man, knew that above everything else he coveted power and Belle’s love and he wouldn’t risk losing Belle now that he had both back. And she was going to make damn sure that if the lying bastard got to have everything he wanted, she was going to get what she wanted back.
Looking up at her Gold asked in defeat, “What do you want, Miss Swan?”
“Swan….”
“It’s simple. You’re going to take me to the Underworld so I can get Killian back.”
Tagging my loves @fergus80 @laschatzi @spartanguard @kat2609 @autoblocked (I think you were the one that wanted to be tagged for this!) @captainswanismyendgame @jscoutfinch @on-the-nightshift @seethelovelyintheworld @xerxesrises
