http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464315/1/Pages-Of-Our-Story
This is my first Harry Potter fanfic, my second fanfic overall. I usually do roleplay writing with others so this is a huge change. Can you please let me know what you think, thanks! :) -curiousdreamer21
Hi there! So first of all, I love Luna's character and I love how you've described her; it's wonderful really. Their relationship is really cute and sweet and I like how there's depth to it. In the first chapter, I loved how you explained the difference between Harry's relationship with Ron and Hermione and Harry's relationship with Luna as well. The acknowledgement of Harry and Luna's struggles as individuals is great too! The only major thing I'd suggest is basically just grammatical actually - make sure to separate any dialogue so that when a new person speaks, it's the start of a new paragraph! I don't know if this is right or not, but I like the symbolism of the plant. It may not have been your intention, but I feel as if it is a symbol of Harry in general, and I love that. I love it when stories get deep like that haha. The humour is clever as well, your story has definitely made me smile! Overall, I think it's a lovely story so far. I'm sure it will sprout into a beautiful fanfiction! Keep at it, babe!
-Allie xx.
