VeggieTales Questions
So I grew up Christian, and thus, VeggieTales was a big part of my formative years. I was just rewatching The Lord of the Beans, and now I have certain questions plaguing my mind, and it’s only fair if I make you think about these things.
How do the vegetables die? Do they rot? Are there unseens humans who eat them? They are on a kitchen counter at the start. Does God eat the vegetables? Is there veggie heaven? Veggie hell? Is being food the veggie afterlife? Do veggies have souls? Can veggies commit suicide? Homicide?
Are there other veggie religions, like veggie muslims and wiccans? Are there veggie atheists?
Do the vegetables grow their young? Are there vegetable abortion debates like pro-life and pro-choice? How does one abort a vegetable?
Was there a need for vegetable separation of church and state? The veggie crusades? Was veggie Jesus crucified in this world? Is like, the crackers and juice that Catholics eat, is that like vegetable juice and vegetable skin? Was there a veggie Armenian genocide after the veggie ottoman empire blamed them for losses? Veggie WW2?
Do the veggies exist in the same universe as Sausage Party? Is there meat in the vegetables universe?
What defines a boy or girl vegetable? Are all vegetables non-binary?
Do the vegetables eat and if they eat, do they use the bathroom? Can a vegetable have food allergies? Is there a lactose intolerant vegetable? What do vegetables eat anyways?
How does Larry the cucumber feel about pickling?
Is there veggie racism?
I’ll never get answers to my questions, but I rue the day I fathomed the laws of the Veggieverse.
