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cutechulainnalter replied to your post “Fucking bad fanfiction nights, nothing will topNARUTO: VENGEANCE...”
remember the smt imagine fic I shared with mpreg uriel? good times
y O U
I HAD COMPLETELY ERASED THAT ONE FROM MY MEMORY, BUT THANKS FOR REMIND ME OF IT
cutechulainnalter replied to your post: You all see one Tamamo confession and assume it...
I KNOW IT WAS YOU BITCH
Who? Me?
cutechulainnalter replied to your post: cutechulainnalter replied to your post: ...
Just another skinny big tiddy punk/goth girl gone bad that every dude wants to be stopped on by
and it's so...mediocre dkfjkjjh
Yo! Your Cu Alter review was fantastic and thank you for that, may I request the pillar men from jojo's bizarre adventure for a rate?
THE PILLAR MEN (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure)
Thank you both for your compliment and this suggestion that I would never have thought of but is DEFINITELY a good idea. Disclaimer: I’ve only gotten through like 2/3 of Battle Tendency and it was ages ago so if I get anything wrong, that’s why.
INTRODUCTION: The Pillar Men are a bunch of scantily clad buff dudes that are members of an ancient race of sort-of-vampires, with the ability to polymorph and absorb people, that Joseph Joestar fights in part 2 of JJBA.
PROS:♥ I mean, if you like muscles, JJBA is basically your one stop shop, and the pillar men have all theirs on display because I guess clothes are for lesser beings like humans. Personally the bulging musculature of JJBA is a bit too much for me personally, but I’m certainly not going to say a bunch of buff naked guys is a BAD thing.♥ Weird design choices aside, those are some pretty handsome, chisel-jawed faces. Kars (right) even has some luxuriously long curls, he’s definitely the prettiest which of course means by anime logic that he’s the leader.♥ I’ve mentioned my feelings on unicorn-type horns before, but the one’s Kars seems to just kinda have all the time? Perfect length. Anything longer is foolish.♥ They guys.... they are the captains of body horror. When they first appear one of the first things they do is cleave a man right in half (the bad, vertical way), and then proceed to do even worse to their own bodies in ensuing fights. Esidisi (left) there? Those strings are his goddamn BLOOD VESSELS, he uses them to attack because he can like heat up his blood or something, it was absolutely ridiculous. When he’s defeated he’s reduced to literally just his nervous system, but he’s STILL ALIVE and manages to hijack someones body to continue being a threat by threatening to turn them into a BOILING BLOOD BOMB. Also whatever the fuck this is;
♥ More than anything else he’s done, the fact that Noted Fuckboy Joseph Joestar didn’t see that and then immediately just decide to go home to New York is what makes him a protagonist. There is so much going on here from the exposed, predator-esque fangs, to the apparent ribcage on the back of his head, and then the horrid fleshy horn. In this moment Esidisi has achieved the aesthetics of Alien AND Predator, while still being effectively humanoid, and that is such a fucking accomplishment in a look.
CONS:♥ As always I’m obligated to point out that they don’t ALWAYS look like waking nightmares when they very well could. However, their behavior is so goddamn alien between their just true disregard for human life and odd expressions of emotion, that when they do turn into horror terrors it isn’t even that surprising. Still, when Kars becomes the “Ultimate Life Form” he doesn’t turn into a shambling monstrosity or even grow a tail, so I’m still deducting the point because they clearly aren’t dedicated to their true monster potential.♥ As far as I can tell, Wamuu never truly goes fully apeshit like Esidisi, and Kars just like, grows some wings and other various animal features when he becomes the “Ultimate Life Form” (FALSE ADVERTIZING, WHERE ARE THE FUCKING SPIKES AND TEETH). The one constant is the horn, but only Esidisi’s has the good taste to be cragged and malignant while the other two just have the traditional spirally type which is BORING and LAME♥ Is it racist for these characters to be vaguely coded as mezo-american and have them literally be monsters that feed on humans, when everyone else is white and also there’s Nazis running around that aren’t 100% the bad guys? As usual I am far too white to weigh in properly but it sure doesn’t have the best Optics.♥ Araki had monster ideas like this in him and instead went on to have the main recurring antagonist be just some blond British asshole who generates memes wherever he goes. The Pillar Men could have been so much more.
RATINGS:MONSTRUOUSNESS: 7/10There’s easily potential for a perfect 10 here, but when it’s so sparingly actually seen, I can’t give it to them. However even though they spend the majority of the time basically humanoid, Esidisi’s insane look up there alone is worth this score.
FUCKABILITY: 2.5/10Like, aesthetically, I get it. I absolutely get it. But you will die. You won’t even get to fuck and THEN die in the process (See: Cu Chulainn Alter), you will just die without getting any D in the first place because they literally eat humans by sublimation like big, Governator shaped amoebas. I’ll give them a few points just for the Looks but just like, constructively, their fuckability is a big Can’t.
PERSONAL RATING: 6/10I would like them better if they talked less and turned into disgusting cryptids more. I don’t want to hear anything about how you’re superior to human beings if you won’t even grow some extra features prove it, Kars.
cutechulainnalter replied to your post: “Yosuke in P4 is basically Mineta without having to suffer...”:
Holy shit
I’m telling ya, if Mineta was good-looking people would love him and find him hilarious and say he was actually closeted and ship him with Deku.
Monster, smt, and cu? You got good taste!
ahaha thanks dude !
I like your banner and blog title btw c:
aawww thanks hezza! i’m trying to get back into my old editing ways and make more stuff haha also my love for ff8 is forever strong so might as well show it. I feel bad for the people that follow me for oxenfree though jfkdasjkf
also rinoa is best girl ever sooo >:3c
cutechulainnalter replied to your post: my aunt has an avocado tree so she brought us a...
I’LL TAKE IT
please take it. i can't do this anymore.
