#cyblazer

[stxrblazer]

People who try to put the Trailblazer and Cyrene to a single box simply don't get either of them.

"Oh they're like parent and child" (Wrong) "They're fully romantic partners" (Also wrong), going fully platonic or romantic is not exactly it

They're a secret third thing, they're almost soulmates, they known each other for all their life and have each other memories at most, both carried the same burden, they were almost inseparable and you can't never convince me that the Trailblazer doesn't miss Cyrene/Mem.

Like, putting them in a box simply disservice them both, because that's not what their relationship is about

They are platonic, and familial, and romantic all at the same time. Theres not any label that can accurately describe them.

They arent friends, they arent lovers, they arent family. They are something beyond all of those.

And no. They aren’t soulmates. The title is probably the closest thing we have to what works, but at the same time it does them a disservice.

Soulmates would imply that they were fated. Fated to meet, fated to love each other.

And no, they werent. Their relationship was not fateful, because Trailblazer’s fate is their own to build, always has been, always will be. Their relationship is built off of their choices, their efforts.

Trailblazer was kept alive by Cyrene- twice. Both in the beginning and end of Amphoreus, when Nikador pierced them and their train car with his lance, when Irontomb’s attack destroyed the universe.

It was Cyrene who kept them alive in both instances.

And it was Trailblazer from whose memories Cyrene was reborn. Cyrene is the result of the millions of cycles, the millions of Elysiae/Peaches that died at the very start, yes, but without the Trailblazer, Cyrene, Demiurge, Mem, never would have been born.

Cyrene exists for as long as Trailblazer remembers her. Her life is sustained by them, her self bound to fade if not for their memory of her. The Trailblazer lives for as long as Cyrene remains in the cycle, keeping them alive at that start and end.

Trailblazer can only walk forward into the future for as long as Cyrene remains in the past.

And Trailblazer does miss Cyrene and Mem. I dont think it’s ever properly stated, but when you look, it’s pretty clear. I mean, one of the lines you’d get when interacting with the pen was tragic.

They know each other as well as they know themselves, the others memories as familiar as their own.

The only people who could be argued to have a similar relationship? March & Evernight. And even then, not really. March doesnt know Evernight as wholly as Evernight knows her, as Cyrene & Trailblazer know each other.

Cyrene is bound to come back. Trailblazer has in no way given up on her, it’s just once again a waiting game. Without Amphoreus safely actualized, theres no way to drag Cyrene out of the loops. Without her, Irontomb comes back.

Trailblazer has few qualms with fucking with the past, as we’ve seen. They just arent willing to fuck with the past in a way that makes the future worse.

Cyrene is going to come back, probably far weaker than she was in Amphoreus tbh. And I wouldnt be surprised if she pulls a Sunday and joins the Express. I mean, it would honestly feel a little ooc if she didnt? I can see her staying with Amphoreus, but it’s either she stays with Amphoreus or joins the Express. Anything else feels wrong.

I mean, beyond Trailblazer, I’d argue Cyrene’s closest bonds are still of the Express tbh? March is her ‘sister’ and they get along great, and it’d both do them well to have each other. Dan Heng knew Mem and clearly they both care for each other. (I’d say beyond the Express, Herta, and maybe Hyacine are next closest tbh) Ntm, she’s knows them from Trailblazer’s memories as well.

Cyrene & Trailblazer are honestly one of the most fascinating relationships in the game, majorly because it’s so enigmatically complex. The only way to describe it is that they love each other, because anything more specific than that doesnt fit.

It’s a little sad when people either degrade them to a wholly romantic relationship, and when they wholly deny that parts of their relationship is romantic. Theres so much more to them.

I miss Cyrene so much chat, i think i lost it a little when i realized she was being brought up in the 4.2 main quest qwq

[stxrblazer]

3.5 spoilers beloww

Oh 3.5 how i loathe and love you. The pure fucking Trailblazer angst im gettinggg oh my god.

Something I realized going through this? For TB? 3.3 to 3.5 has probably happened in the span of like. a fucking week. Aglaea died and eVERYTHING WENT DOWN HILL. Because the time spent in Aedes Elysiae? Non-canon! We kicked off 3.5 with the same conversation we ended 3.4 in! Theres no time jump! Aglaea died, then TB went and fought Aquila like three days later and Cipher died and the world started ending, then Mydei and Cassie and Tribbie sacrificed themselves to slow the Flame Reaver, then Trailblazer went BACK and they lived through either all 33M cycles or fragments of them. Got tossed into Aedes Elysiae, and immediately threw themselves back into the action. There was probably like, all of two days MAX for them before Lygus sent them to the fucking Backrooms.

Then what was like an HOUR for them at the MOST if not a few minutes, they come back anD A THOUSAND YEARS HAVE PASSED. Everyone they know on this stupid planet is dead... AGAIN. AND THIS TIME?? THIS TIME IT WAS TO BUY THEM TIME! TO BUY ENOUGH TIME TO WAIT FOR THEM TO COME BACK... EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD NO WAY TO KNOW THE TRAILBLAZER WOULD COME BACK!

Because they believed in the Deliverer! Because Cyrene believed in her companion!

All of this in like a week for the Trailblazer! Its been years for them, and only days for the Trailblazer! They dont even know how long has passed outside of Amphoreus! The Trailblazers sense of time is going to be SCREWED in 3.8. I would never trust my own perception of time after all this bs.

And can you imagine how fucked screwed up they must be after this cycle? Every other cycle, the Chrysos Heirs died for the Flame-Chase. They died to Khaslana, to buy time just for someone to come. For the pale dawn. But this cycle? The Chrysos Heirs all chose to die. Every single one of them this time. They all sacrificed themselves, willingly. Once again to buy time for the pale dawn, but this time they knew who that dawn was, they were dying to buy time for the Deliverer. It was personal this time. Every other death was to buy time for the Trailblazer yes, but without ever knowing what their death was for.. because it was just for the Flame-Chase. This time it was for the Trailblazer, and they knew it.

That had to fucking screw with the Trailblazer. They were already shown to be worried about their ability to take Khaslana's place. And then tHIS FUCKING HAPPENS??? Cyrene they are NOT confident rn my TB looked like a sad wet cat. In the span of like a few hours, their friends came back to life and all DIED FOR THEM. They are not okay.

And despite everything! They were locked in! They kept fighting! They were not going to give up even with the crushing weight of all the expectations and hope on them. The Trailblazer is currently one of the ONLY deciding factors between the universe and its end as we know it. And they are not letting that slow them down! They are taking moments to grieve, before keeping fighting! They are probably fueled by those expectations tbh. The Trailblazer always fights stronger when its not them they were fighting for. OH! And i got more evidence for my fucking Blessed versus Pathstrider thing too. Specifically the whole 'headspace needed' type thing. TB was using the bat up until the Lygus fight. After they speedran losing their friends again. Where they thus use the fucking LANCE. Probably bc Hysilens was there. If not for Hysilens it would 100% have been the Bat or the Pen.

Also the self restraint the TB had lmao? I would NOT have been talking I woulda seen that fucking robot not as an illusion and i woulda SWUNG. Actually probably at the illusion too.

The Trailblazer shipbait this patch was pretty cute too. Hysilens bath scene was a bit much tbh but ehhh what can you do. She was pretty. Also? I just realized how fucking SAD the scene Hysilens and TB meet up again is in hindsight. 1000 years, and Hysilens pulls the SAME MOVE she did when they first met with the 'shush' thing. Thats sad. 1000 years for her, and she didnt forget. I hope Hysilens follows us into 3.6 tbh. Let us save ONE Chrysos heir hoyo come on.. Evernight was sweet too. Trailblazer knew those Garden mfs werent their March. They knew Evernight WAS their March, even if she was different. Evernight calling them 'My dear' and 'dear' promising to watch us... even emo March still cares so much about the TB. And Evernight is almost 100% firmly on our side. The bs lygus said abt the remembrance was not about Evernight, her interaction with the memokeepers was clear.

and my god. They are doing their damn fucking best to push the CyBlazer agenda. And ignoring the people screaming about Elysia, i will take it happily. They are cute tgt. And Cyrene is literally the Trailblazer's memosprite.. adorable. Honestly their whole relationship is adorable. The handholding thing at the end, the smile the Trailblazer had when Cyrene showed up for the Dormammu ive come to bargain bit. Even without the Aedes Elysiae stuff, CyBlazer is so cute. 3.7 i await ur arrival with terrified excitement. Pls dont kill her i will cry.

Yk who deserves to cry? Trailblazer. They deserve to cry. And i'd say a vacation but the last two vacations they tried to take did not end well. What they deserve is probably just some time to curl up in their bed and scream into pillows.

This is like, also their first solo Trailblaze atp? They really ARE alone at this point. Cyrene got separated from them pretty fast, is separating from them again from what i can tell. They'll probably meet up with Dan Heng PT and Evernight pretty quickly in 3.6 but like.. they are alone right now. For someone all but stated to have abandonment issues explicitly, im sure that they're doing GREAT rn. They were SO happy to see Herta it HURT. They were seeing someone they knew for the first time in AGES from their POV! Like!! They werent alone! If only for a few minutes.

Honestly Herta and Trailblazer is so dear to me. Idc as ship or wtv HertaBlazer can be cute (few fics tho lol) but just.. they're so dear to me. Herta is one of the first people they met, one of the people who have been following their journey from it's start. Canonically too! The Herta literally has been one of the few constants in the Trailblazers short existence of trauma. and like. yeah she probably messed them up a little with the BS SU stuff she's had them do but still. She's someone they look up too, someone who canonically has a great amount of faith and care in/for them. It's probably so reassuring for the Trailblazer to know, while they are basically on their own inside the Simulation, they are not alone, they still have their family on the outside fighting with them.

(what the fuck are Himeko and Welt doing rn btw i need to know?? Theres probably not much they CAN do tbh. It's probably fucking killing them. all i can see them doing is trying to get as much as they can outta Black Swan assuming she hasnt fucking dipped yet. ... damnit now i want a story arc focused around Himeko and Welt in 4.0 dealing with the fact they couldnt really do anything to help TB (And Dan Heng and Evermarch) when they were fighting for both their life and the sake of the entire fucking universe. Himeko is already canonically shown to be the type of person to put the wellbeing of her crew above her own and like. suppress everything bc she's the navigator and has to keep it tgt. Welt probably is tweaking over the fact he cant do anything to help the 'kids' (young adults) who are all but his students while they fight, unless he wants to pull out that secret strength March is so fond of calling out for. Both of them are 100% going to feel like they failed their charges when this is all over... mmm im gonna make a fic outta that idk how but i will.)

Yk what hurt me? The lack of Phainon. Trailblazer, Dan Heng, and Cyrene are all but confirmed to be the last people to remember him.. it hurts. Cyrene probably wont even fully remember him all things considered, and Dan Heng wasnt as close.. it really will just be the Trailblazer. Unless the Trailblazer uses the "As I've Written" (As We've Written?) to reboot the memories of the Chrysos Heirs with the cycles the TB has been in. Its likely tbh. And im hoping. even though i doubt they'll bring Phainon back to life.

Look, either Cyrene or Phainons dying. Maybe both. Hopefully, NEITHER.

Ohhhh one more thing I found fascinating? The fact that Herta (I think it was her, im starting to flag lmao) said she doesnt know how Dan Heng and the Trailblazer even got into Amphoreus. March as well iirc, which idk if i do.

While it could 100% just be bc of Trailblaze, its not confirmed. Herta would probably say that if so, right? Thats what the assumption has been, why would they explicitly state the reasons unknown...??

Its most likely Trailblaze stuff, but yk what'd be interesting? If it was due to the Stellaron. Lygus clearly was fascinated with the Stellaron, it wouldnt be that much of a stretch.

Related to that. What the FUCK did Lygus mean about the 1-in-3 chance thing about becoming powerful (cant rmb the exact line rn sorry). Did he plan on making The Trailblazer the vessel for Irontomb if the TB agreed?? Or like. Does he have some way to help the TB ascend to emanator status with the Stellaron??

Nanook is 100% interested in the TB far more than we had all first assumed, that's for sure.

Speaking of Nanook (man im really all over the place rn i should go to bed damnn)

But Speaking of Nanook. Im coming to the realization that this is really just a preview for the Trailblazers future, on a smaller scale.

"On a smaller scale- their tryna stop the end of the universe rn??" Yeahhhh by stopping the birth of an Emanator.

The Trailblazer is going to face NANOOK THEM-FUCKING-SELF. And. they fucking know it. They've known it for awhile. They've 100% never once mentioned it to anyone else really but like. They know thats their future. What the Stellaron Hunters have been pushing them towards.

The Trailblazer had to have some moment during the 3.5 quest where they were like "Oh. This is what it feels like." Because this will NOT be the last time they are the Trump Card against Destruction. This will not be the last time they are the driving force, the one everyone is placing their hopes on, their blind trust in. And they had to have the realization that, in comparison to what it will feel like in the future, this is so, so small. Because its only their companions on the Express, the Genius' and Amphoreus right now. In the future? Who knows how many peoples, planets hopes will be placed on them. And that had to fuel them, really. that had to help them push onwards.

had a thought of a angst/crack thing where like. The Stellaron Hunters, or at least, Elio, had to know about all this. About the Fucking Torment Nexus (Lygus really saw that TB was taking Phainon/Khaslanas place and went "GREAT, TORMENT NEXUS FOR YOU!) that they had to go through. And they were NOT WARNED!! Or mb Kafka will say smth ominous in the bartending event i wouldnt be surprised. But like. If i had companions who could tell me the future and they didnt even VAGUELY warn me about the HELL I was about to stumble into I'd be so fucking salty. "Why wont you play any games with me dude" "OH I DONT KNOW WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME ABOUT WATCH-YOUR-FRIENDS-ALL-DIE-AGAIN-AND-AGAIN LAND." likeee dude just a WARNINGGG IT COULD BE VAGUE AS HELL JUST?? SOMETHING??

Im 100% gonna have more thoughts later but i NEED to crash now. If my brain lets me... ill probably fail tbh but like, the Chronic Pain is also starting to Not Like how much ive typed lol

[stxrblazer]

Something I find so gentle and sweet and tragic and some could say romantic (yes that was a pun) is that the animated short of the TB helping Cyrene through the loops, probably mirrors how Cyrene saw the TB’s memories.

That sort of “I know everything that you’re going through, I’m going through it too, but I can’t help you, but I desperately crave to”.

The love they feel for them at their highest moments

The jealousy they feel at so many people, many similar to her, but also many different, being able to interact so closely to the TB

The fear they feel in their most vulnerable moments

The piercing desire to help followed by the deranged anger at the reminder that she can’t

If Phainon can learn to feel so much love, let Cyrene feel some negative stuff too!

Have her genuinely hate Cocolia for killing the TB and messing with Belabog

Have her hold a slight grudge over Sunday for nearly locking everyone in a dream

Have her feel a raging fire against the anti matter legion for all they do

Have her feel guilty for wanting to take one of the places of someone else around the TB, even some of the Chrysos heirs

Have her grow tired of the Aeons, and have her desperately wanting to avoid ascending to Fuli, even if it means going against the Paths themselves

Oh Cyrene/TB how you mean so much to me (in all interpretations)

-🌟

Cyrene deserved her Phainon-level crashout but i get why she didnt have one.

I do believe she does resent the Aeons, in the same way that the Heirs resent the Titans.

While Phainon’s negative emotions manifest as hate, Cyrene’s do as mourning. She is lament, after all.

Unfortunately, she did kind of learn a very specific bad habit from the Trailblazer. Specifically, the whole ‘push everything down and be okay because i gotta lock in’ habit. She generally doesnt consider her own suffering equal to that of the heirs. So she puts on the air of being totally fine, being that cute pink girl.

The Trailblazer is kinda the one person where she can just.. drop that. Where she can show how afraid and hurt and angry she is, despite not wanting to feel those emotions.

And we kinda do see Cyrene jealous, it just doesnt really manifest as aggressively as with others. It is, at its core, a mournful type of jealousy. Basically her trailer was her wishing she was able to be with the Trailblazer and Astral Express, apart of their story, and wholly self-inserting into the Trailblazer’s memories.

Cyrene’s hatred manifests as sorrow, and she actively uses it, just as Phainon uses his rage. Both also idolize the Trailblazer and so both play the ‘time to bottle everything up!’ Game..

Ngl I think Cyrene would honestly do well meeting the Stellaron Hunters. Or at least Kafka. Would be the most dangerous combo probably. The amount of love for the Trailblazer shared between them would probably breach into dangerous levels..

Cyrene probably would actually get on pretty well with Kafka. Damnit. Now thats a pairing I want to see… im a blight upon myself..

[stxrblazer]

Im a multishipper and im chill with whatever ships as long as its not illegal or a proship. Toxic ships not included bc sometimes you just want that angst yk. Sometimes you just want to play around with interesting character dynamics yk?

Anyways, ive always been a big lover of Marchblazer and then like. Kafblazer, Fireblazer, and Silverblazer. Ive always been chill with Danblazer and TrailBlade (is that their name?? Or is it Bladeblazer) but i never actively shipped them.

They just dont have the same tragic connotations for me yk?? Blade and Trailblazer dont have many interactions unfortunately, and its clear Blade remembers TB barely any better than TB does him. With the other three Stellaron Hunters? Its so sad. They fucking miss the Trailblazer so much its so obvious. ‘Silver Wolf doesnt’ that motherfucker turns up EVERYWHERE if a game is involved, she canonically plays games and visits the Express to just see the Trailblazer that is HER PLAYER TWO SHE MISSES THEM. She canonically follows our journey! She canonically thinks they’ll win every time if their a team (Stellaron Hunter-Nameless Crew parallels my beloved) You can NOT convince me Silver Wolf doesnt miss or care about the Trailblazer you are just WRONG.

Do i even need to talk about Firefly and Kafka. They love the Trailblazer so much like hhhhhhshdbdsnnm. The interactions with them in the 3.0 main quest KILLED ME.

Blade just doesnt have that i fear. Maybe in the future i’ll get more attached but for now? I literally cant ship him in his current state. Idk why. I just cant.

Now. Danblazer? It’s been growing on me since 3.0. I think i started actually shipping in 3.2, because it got suitably sad with Dan Heng having to PULL THE TRAILBLAZERS DEAD BODY OUT OF THE WRECKAGE- what do you mEANNN HE GASLIT HIMSELF INTO THINKING WE WERE OKAYY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HES WAITED A THOUSAND YEARS AUGHHHHH. Dan Heng just talk about your feelings so you stop regretting everything it is the Trailblazer they are like the poster child for change and growth. Danblazer has finally reached the Tragic Ship threshold i need to genuinely ship smth. I still dont wanna read fanfics of them tho idk why. But the arT MY GODDD 🙏

I have been a Marchblazer supporter since RELEASE. If you think theh are not tragic you have never been in an anxiety ridden codependent mess of a friendship/relationship before. ‘They arent codependent’ ur fucking wrong, these fucks are both amnesiacs who literally went on every expedition tgt they first time they separated for an expedition was caused by March literally being unable to go. They both literally consider each other home (and Dan Heng hshshshsnebd) for BOTH of them it was the other + Dan Heng that showed up and got them to keep going (The fucking parallels of the Fate quest and March’s bit in the 3.4 quest sob) that is so codependent coded. I speak from EXPERIENCE, memory issues + constant time tgt + going through the Horrors = Codependency. Its going to hurt so bad when Evernight doesnt rmb the Trailblazer sob

Phaiblazer and Cyblazer tooo i love them. Or Stelrene if the idea of Cyrene/Caelus makes u crashout but like caelus and stelle are the same person so who cares 💔

They BOTH waited for the Trailblazer that is their HERO likeee. They were already so silly and cute and OW in 3.4, i fear for 3.5-3.7. 3.7 esp bc that is Cyrene’s patch, PLEASE LET HER LIVE HOYO. LET THEM BOTH LIVEEE LET THEM BOTH JOIN THE ASTRAL EXPRESS WITH THEIR HEROO THEY DESERVE IT AFTER THE TORMENT NEXUS 💔💔 LET THEM BE HAPPYYY

CyPhaiBlazer and DanMarchBlazer are also just shdfbksabdksabd i love them they hurt me so bad. The yeARNING with CyPhaiBlazer and then DanMarchBlazer the fact that the other two are THEIR HOMMEE THEIR PEOPLEE like the Astral Express is their home but those two are their PEOPLE GOD JSAJDBKJASBD

Poly Stellaron Hunters is so painfully great too bc their missing one of their people and they have nobody to blame but THEMSELVES the trailblazer is gone and they have a missing puzzle piece and an empty chair at the dinner table and it's their own fault like they are RIGHT THERE BUT THEY CANT COME BACK AAAAAA

[stxrblazer]

I have been thinking TOO MANY angsty CyBlazer thoughts recently. It is time for the roommates au. And by roommates au, I mean when one of them breaks into the other’s room despite both of them having their own rooms.

-Cyrene can do housework, but like watching th TB do it

-They like reading together

-they like talking before the sleep (in the same bed? In a different bed? Who knows)

Whatever else, I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY

-🌟

Roommates au on the express would be Trailblazer’s room. Have you seen that place?? Istg ive lived in apartments the same size. Cyrene (and the Trailblazer for her) isnt going to settle for a normal sized room!

Cyrene could totally help with housework. I imagine she’d make joking excuses as to why she cant, and then Trailblazer just rolls with them all. Like they’d lowk be so willing to take on all of the housework (and even any chores of hers if they’re on the Express) that it’d probably make her feel a little bad. TB isnt even trying to.

They read together, and also have storytime before bed 100%. (Arguably another mem-derived habit tbh) Storytime is a pivotal part of bedtime, and no its totally normal that TB cannot go to sleep without it. They alternate who reads out loud each night.

It’d be the same bed. I mean first of all, going based off it being TB’s room, have you seen that bed?? It’s huge.

Secondly, they’re already used to sharing a bed! Eh, well i’d argue Trailblazer WAS her bed. Cause iirc, Mem canonically used to just sleep on the Trailblazer’s chest.

So I can totally see Cyrene teasing the Trailblazer into just letting her share the bed with that. This woman is taking any and all opportunities to get physical contact with them, like.

Trailblazer probably helps Cyrene wash her hair. I mean, have you seen how much hair she has?? That’s gotta be a pain to wash on her own, and she’s got a perfectly willing (flustered) second set of hands right on the other side of the door.

She ‘jokes’ about bathing tgt and if Trailblazer dared to get even the faintest bit flustered, she WILL bring up them not caring about bathing culture on Amphoreus. (Its different and they both know it)

Trailblazer lowk probably hides injuries (i mean they kinda do iirc) to not worry anybody but Cyrene always knows. Always. Not even bc they’re connected, she just Knows. They cannot lie to her.

Some small part of her probably likes it though because that means SHE gets to treat their injuries instead of anyone else. Possessive Cyrene, how i adore you.

White Peach Pudding moves in at the same time as Cyrene. No she did not bring it with her.

Trailblazer is pretty much willing to bend head over heels for Cyrene, in a very blatant way. Cyrene ofc is the same, but she’s alot more subtle about it.

Ngl, they’re probably just domestic to a nearly grating degree. Like yeah, the Express as a whole is domestic. But those two??? March is making newlyweds jokes until the day the universe ends.

They make me sick </3

Tbh this doesnt even have to be romantic Cyblazer. (Although the bathing thing is a bit more romantically inclined lol). I really dont think much changes whether or not they’re romantic partners or not lol.