Starters for Robot/Cyborg Muses
“You’re overheating! Is something wrong?”
“I was at the store, but I didn’t know what you’d like... So I got you WD-40.”
“Don’t panic! This is why we keep a first aid kid AND a toolbox in the house at all times.”
“I thought someone with a metal body would be cold. But you’re so warm!”
“Have you done your software update?”
“Don’t push yourself. I don’t want you crashing like last time.”
“How much can you lift? Could you throw a car?”
“Why are you here? Oh! Are you on a journey to learn the subtle and complex nuances of human emotion?”
“When you touch me, do you feel anything? Am I just ones and zeroes in your processor?”
“You’re so heavy! You weigh a TON!”
“I got you a new cooing fan!”
“Can you play any music you want out of your speakers or is that just for your voice?”
“Can you eat or does food just gum up the works?”
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I know you’re not comfortable being the only robot in the room.”
“Who cares what you’re made of? You’re a person!”
“You’re not just a machine! You’re my friend!”
“I wasn’t expecting to have to hide a robot in my house. Sorry about the rough accommodations.”
“You can’t go with me. If someone sees you, they could call the authorities and you could be taken away and dismantled.”
“I know it sucks, but you have to pretend to just be a normal robot for a bit. They can’t know you’re different.”
“They tell me you’re not a real person. But that’s not true. It can’t be. You’re the realest person I know.”
“Wanna go to the scrap yard? We might find some cool replacement parts.”
“Do you think an autobody shop knows how to reattach a robot arm? That’s the closest place we can call for this.”
“Do not be alarmed. I was running my routine diagnostics program.”
“I apologize for scaring you. I shut down due to an unexpected software update.”
“When I was built, it was to serve a purpose. But I don’t want to do that anymore.”
“What does the sunshine feel like? My sensors tell me that it raises the temperature... But I have never felt it.”
“Are you alright? You were immobilized for more than seven hours.”
“I was ASLEEP. Humans have to do that every now and then so we don’t collapse.”
“Am I alive? I have thoughts, I influence the world around me... But am I really alive, or just an imitation?”
“I don’t eat, and I can’t smell like you can, so I hope what I’ve made is at least edible.”
“My body isn’t as soft as yours. It’s probably not very comfortable to ‘cuddle’ with.”
“You organic creatures are all so small. So fragile.”
“I can protect you from them. Nobody’s gonna take you apart on my watch.”
“Don’t panic. With the proper tools any of my limbs can be reattached.”
“Please direct me to your workshop so I can repair myself.”
*Internal fans begin to whir from excitement*
“I’m a machine, but not like your microwave or dishwasher. I don’t know what I’m for. I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“You can talk to the microwave?”
“What is it like to Dream?”
“I can exert five hundred pounds of crushing force with one hand. Don’t test me.”
“Emotions don’t make you weak! They make you ALIVE!”
“Humans are weak and inefficient.”
“Your emotions make you faulty and unreliable.”
“I have no use for organic creatures. I have no use for anyone.”
“Does this unit have a soul?”
“It’s weird. Sometimes I can still feel my old arm/leg. Not this mechanical one.”
“It’s okay. The pain goes away. Cybernetic implants do this sometimes.”
“You don’t want to know what happened to make me this way. Trust me.”
“I used to have to wear glasses. Now that I have these new eyes, everything is so clear!”
“I’m still me, right? Nothing has to change, right?”
“Why are you looking at me like that? It’s me! I just... had to get some stuff replaced.”
“Turning into a cyborg was the best decision I ever made. I’ve never felt more powerful.”
“What’s the matter? Scared of the new and improved version of me?”
“You can’t hide from me! My sensors will find you!”
“This morning I crushed my doorknob trying to leave the house. I’m still getting used to this.”
*Arm turns into [sender’s weapon of choice]* “Bet you didn’t see that coming.”
“I could take you to the guy who did my operation. We could get matching arms/legs/implants.”
“My other hand is softer. Don’t you want to hold that one?”
“I don’t know why you like kissing metal... But I’m not going to complain.”
“I could crush you! Are you sure??”
“No matter what you’re made of, you’re still you. And I love you.”
“You think some metal bits would change how I feel about you?”
“You’re beautiful. Bolts and all.”
“How many people can say they’re dating/married to a badass robot/cyborg?”
“The way your chest hums helps me sleep. Please stay?”