Jul 4, 2024
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Cyll: I had to adapt to life with the choya. The desert is a harsh place. You don't always have the option not to eat something. That's why I'm fine eating poison
Caithe: that's a lie, I saw her eat a wild hog carcass preserved in toxic gas in maguuma. She's always been like this. She enjoys it
Forget if I already made this post or not but whatever
WHO ARE YOU TAKING ON A DATE FOR VALENTINES DAY
Cinder (guitarist, loves nature, will DESTROY you in the mosh pit)
Bertha (bass player, goth, loves whiskey, has several pet dead things)
Alder (romantic, gives you roses, will steal your heart and also your wallet)
Cyll (feral. brings you on a choya cannibalism date. yay???)
WARNING. don't go out alone tonight in the desert. There have been reports of an asura swinging a choya around with terrifying power. Kneecaps have been obliterated
Introducing my official "canon" commander!
Her name is Cyll, after the genus cylindropuntia aka cholla cacti! She was originally an engineer, and graduated from the college of dynamics with "a masters in epic explosions." After being killed by Balthazar and resurrected, she was found unconscious by choya. For months she lived as one of them, learning their ways. She observed farmers in the crystal desert until she learned to grow choya, and began raising a choya army. Living as a feral choya and bonding with them resulted in the discovery of her powers as an untamed! Rytlock found her purely by chance (she jumped out from behind a rock and tried to maul him) and dragged her back to dragon's watch. The choya got mad, there was chaos, but eventually things worked themselves out. She immediately vibed with gorrik and they're best friends now. Diplomacy is not her thing, her method of dealing with people she doesn't like is generally to hiss and bite them, so you can imagine how in cantha things might have got off to a rough start. She's a fan of the metal warband but for some unknown reason HATES Alder so he has to hide behind Cinder whenever she shows up to a concert
Cyll sounds so fun I want to hear about her bossfight!
So first of all, WATCH OUT! this boss fight is triggered purely by random misfortune when you're minding your own business out in the crystal desert. You'll run into her and she'll hiss at you and scamper off on all fours. A few minutes later you see a SWARM of those little orange crossed sword symbols on the map. uh oh.
Her choya army has arrived! and viciously they challenge you... to a dance off! they do their little choya dances and you have to follow along with a set of skills as it gets more and more complicated. there’s an achievement called Cyll’s Approval for lasting a long time, but ultimately the task is programmed to be impossible as the dance gets super elaborate and when you mess up, they look at you like this:
and then they attack!
They knock you over and you drop your weapons. you have to pick up a stick from the ground and use the BONK skill to fend them off. you also have to dodge a whole lot. If you last the full five minutes, they retreat. but the fight is not yet over! As you drop the stick and find your original weapons they return with Cyll’s elite crew of highly trained specialized attack choya!
First up, Arb! an unusually thin, fast, and agile choya based on Cylindropuntia arbuscula, the arizona pencil cholla. They wield a pair of pencil themed scepters as choya sized staffs and use a combination of daredevil and mesmer skills by “drawing” illusions that come to life. they are wearing a beret and have little paint splatters on them.
Second, Lep! a spruce green choya with lots of red flowers, based on Cylindropuntia leptocaulis, the desert christmas cholla. They’re a druid wearing a straw hat and wielding a staff that looks like a garden rake. They control plants and attack with vines, thorns, and carniverous flowers. they also chill you with a wintersday themed elite skill that creates a barrage of snowballs.
Third, Bitey! A vicious choya that hides in the sand based on Cylindropuntia californica, the snake cholla. They poison you, evade by burrowing, and hit you with a pair of maces, which are snake themed maracas that make rattlesnake noises. Their weakness? they love to party. using certain emotes like dance, laugh, cheer, and rockout might create an attack opportunity.
Finally, TED. Ted is massive, tough, and covered in needles. They have cute little ears and are based on Cylindropuntia bigelovii, the teddy bear cholla. You should bring a ranged weapon, because contact with this one causes stacks of bleeding! They’re unarmed and powerful. even a longbow won’t save you from damage since their attacks are heavy and create shockwaves in the sand. They also have a heal skill that involves hibernation, and gain boons by eating berries and salmon. Incredibly hard to beat. but if you do win, now you have to face Cyll...
The four elite choya run back to Cyll. Cyll, formerly a scrapper, now untamed, wields a hammer. But wait, isn’t that a staff she’s holding? No. A fifth elite choya steps forward from the pack, holding a sword and shield. This one is named Killer. it buckles itself into a harness on the stick, the same stick you used for choya bonking earlier. and begins to glow green with untamed power. You’re really in for it now! For such a small being with such a heavy weapon, Cyll is LIGHTNING FAST! You’re at the mercy of heavy blows and CC with barely any letup before you have a chance to think! You have to be just as intuitive and vicious as her. it takes a while but you finally wear down her defiance bar and expose her weakness, breaking the stick in half with a special skill and sending the choya flying back into the pack! Well done! You did it! but wait... Killer stops glowing. The power flows into cyll. she bares her teeth and growls. even the most experienced raiders are about to have the fight of their lives. One they can’t win with formal combat training or armor weighing them down. You cast aside your gear, get down on all fours, and fight like a wild animal! Teeth! Claws if you have them! Wrestling on the ground out in the desert! You learn the true meaning of feral, and strike the final blow! You have won!
Slowly, with great effort, Cyll stands up, and the pack closes in. You realize with horror that while you may have bested her in combat, you’re still vastly outnumbered, alone in the desert, mere prey at the mercy of nature. But cyll extends a hand. You take it, she helps you up. You’ve learned the ways of the choya, they way of the wild, and thus have earned her respect. She opens your hand and gently places a few seeds in your palm, then disappears without a trace into the cool desert night. you know what those seeds will grow into.
(if you did the Cyll’s Approval achievement you also unlock a shirt skin for all armor classes that says I Fought The Commander and All I Got Was This Shirt These Rad Dance Moves And Also Some Choya Seeds Heck Yeah with a picture of a choya in sunglasses and a leather jacket doing finger guns on it)
This is her btw. I don’t have enough character slots to actually make her yet because i used my last one for a cosplay reaper of Barry from Beartooth but this is roughly what she’ll look like when i make her
Ohhh fuck I just remembered I made the backstory behind alder not remembering his dream that the krytan noble he lived with who originally framed him for being a criminal stole his memories, he's gonna be SOOOOO fucking mad at Cyll for working with the wizards he already tried to fight her to the death once for joining the shining blade and it took him so long to let that grudge go and start being friends with her again. Good thing he's off in the woods in his evil boyfriend's cabin right now blissfully unaware of literally everything, we've got a major disaster on our hands when he Learns about all this
3 seconds after Zojja gave Cyll the heart of the obscure her choya Killer tried to eat it. It took 3 hours to catch them and get it out of their mouth without anyone losing a finger