#d.facts

[polcrity]

💦💗👍😉👰 💋 for darcy

sex + romance || darcy

💦 At what age did my muse lose their virginity?

answered here

💗 Has my muse ever been in love?

darcy faust falls in love before he even really gets to know the person. so in short? too many times.

👍 Does my muse prefer to be asked on a date, or would they rather do the asking?

darcy would probably turn down any offers for dates– but he does prefer to be asked just about anything else you have in mind.

😉 What are my muse’s fetishes/kinks?

the list is too fucking long, but there’s a simple rule you can follow to know if darcy is into something: does it involve degrading or endangering him? he’s into it.

👰 Would my muse ever get married?

well. he did. so.

💋 How many people has my muse slept with?

darcy lost track of that number a long time ago.

[polcrity]

👏 teddy + darcy :)

clap for headcanons || darcy

1. teddy has broken darcy’s nose three times– that is to say that eva has confirmed that his nose was broken.

2. one of darcy’s favorite things to do to teddy ( should circumstances allow it ) is to sneak up behind him, hug him from behind, and whisper sweet nothings– and by sweet nothings, darcy means i’m going to fuck that bussy tonight.

3. any time that darcy, teddy, and oliver are together, you can bet that darcy is standing behind oliver trying to get teddy to laugh. this includes, but is not limited to: silly faces, mocking oliver, and mooning.

4. when the faust house was more than just ashes on a sidewalk, darcy and teddy shared a conjoined bathroom. it wasn’t uncommon for darcy to slink through the bathroom in the middle of the night and slip in bed beside teddy– who typically begrudgingly agreed, after darcy’s whined excuse of i had a bad dream.

5. in some way, darcy considers teddy closer to him than anyone else in the world. the hierarchical wall that sets him apart from oliver somehow doesn’t exist between the two of them– perhaps because they aren’t related, but darcy suggests that it’s something a little deeper than that: they’re soulmates. no homo.

[polcrity]

💦😘

sex + romance || darcy, eli, red

💦 At what age did my muse lose their virginity?

darcy

darcy was fifteen with his first real girlfriend– francesca. 

eli

eli was seventeen, a month away from boot camp, with his first girlfriend– caroline [ @stringpulled ]

red

red was fourteen, with a girl from school who he did not talk to after the event. he doesn’t remember her name.

😘 Would my muse have sex on the first date? 

darcy

a firm yes.

eli

a firm no.

red

a firm depends on how the date went.

[polcrity]

👏 + darcy and... bill

clap for headcanons || darcy

1. the whole calling her butthole thing isn’t a joke. in darcy’s mind, that is truly her name.

2. because from the moment that he picked up that half-feathered little clump of cuteness, darcy’s first thought was damn this thing is as ugly as my asshole.

3. yes, darcy is a little hurt that little butthole imprinted on bas rather than him, but he isn’t bitter about it. he’s very proud of the way that bas has raised his pseudo-daughter.

4. the goose tattoo that darcy has placed on his left bicep is in butthole’s honor, thanks to bas.

5. darcy purchased two, goose safe ankle bands to act as wedding rings for butthole and her husband, left toe.

[polcrity]

😳 and 💘 for darcy!

sex + romance || darcy

😳 What was my muse’s worst romantic/sexual relationship?

darcy may claim that he’s tried out romance in the past, but in complete honesty: he hasn’t asked someone on a date in nearly four years. his worst romantic relationship involved a girl named susan and a las vegas style wedding. needless to say, susan is no longer in the picture. whether or not the marriage was successfully annulled… well, darcy isn’t even quite sure of that.

💘 What are the ways my muse says ‘I love you’ without actually saying it?

darcy faust is a giver of gestures. he’s never been great at picking out birthday and christmas gifts, but he sure does know how to wake up early and cook you ( his best attempt at ) a pancake breakfast. he may ask you to sit down and play video games with him– and sure, that might not sound like much, but when you start up animal crossing you may find that he’s planted a few rose bushes by your humble abode and left a tyrannosaurus rex skull in the center room.

[polcrity]

♡ Micah and Darcy

send a ♡ || x || darcy 

FRIENDS.   childhood friends  /  work friends  /  family friends  /  recently friends  /  turning antagonistic  /  turning into something romantic  /  stable  /  falling apart  /  friendship of need  /  friendship of circumstance / pen - pals or internet friends  /  coworkers  /  partners  /  other .

ROMANCE.   childhood sweethearts  /  newly entered  /  soulmates  /  skinny love  /  unrequited from my muses side  /  unrequited from your muses side  /  friends with benefits  /  awkward  /  fading  /  turning  toxic  /  toxic  and  destructive  /  other .

FAMILIAL BOND.   sibling bond  /  older sibling figure to your muse  /  younger sibling figure to your muse  /  parental figure to your muse  /  parental figure to your muse  /  guardian figure (non-familial) /  legal  guardian  /  other .

ENEMIES.   dangerous to themselves  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  passionate  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into a sexual tension  /  developing into a romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based of misunderstandings or lies  /  other .