!!!LORE AND BACKSTORY POST, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!
Touya’s equivalent post
Taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming for a Hawks pride post [there will be a Dabi one as well, but it’s not finished yet] and a dissertation on how his being trans in world might work, as well as why I headcannon him as bi
But uh. Yeah enjoy Kei in boxers for now I guess- just wanted to try and draw his body type as close to how it’s canonically depicted as I can get, while also taking his eating habits into account. Because. That mf eats. A lot. Probably more than the HPSC wants him to [good for him] and I personally think he should be a little soft [momo should be as well tbh, even more so than in the manga, but they are cowards]
Also decided to add scales to the back of his hands aha arms, gotta add it to that first painting I posted here tho
Anyway- Everything else, including additional art and screencaps of Hawks’ hourglass figure, is going under cut cuz this post Is getting long already-
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Why exactly do I think hawks is bi, you ask? To start with, he gives off ex sapphic tomboy energy. I don’t really know how to elaborate on that sentence, he just does.
I feel like the commission probably offered him the option to have a few discrete sexual encounters [with NDAs and shit] to try and fulfill his needs without him actually being in a relationship publicly and losing the illusion of availability. But given the fact that he hasn’t allowed himself to consider the possibility of ever having a partner, let alone being permitted to have sex, maybe the idea of hooking up with someone he doesn’t know scared him too much. Not to mention the fact that it would all just be another commission orchestrated situation. Maybe he’s somewhere on the demisexual spectrum, or maybe it’s just his upbringing, or maybe both. Who knows.
I think he can and does experience attraction without knowing someone tho, but has learned to suppress it over the years knowing he’s not allowed to do anything with it, which probably has lead to a lot of shame which sucks.
The primary reason I think he’s bi tho, is t4t dabihawks. Because of course it is. Transfem Dabi AUs have a special place in my heart and I think they would still very much be together. Actually in this au, I’m not even completely sure he’s 100% cis guy man. Maybe agender or something but really doesn’t give a shit what people call him and is chill being perceived as a cis dude? Idk.
Anyway. I do understand headcanoning him as gay, especially since we aren’t really shown evidence that he’s attracted to women in canon, [besides the fact that he just sounds like he’s flirting with everyone he talks to, but I don’t think that’s anything more than his persona] and that the commission probably thinks it wouldn’t be good for his reputation or whatever if the world knew he liked men, so it makes sense why we wouldn’t know about it, but. Idk. I just feel like he does have the potential to like women, even if it isn’t as common as for him to like men or other gender expansive people. So. He’s going on the list.
[edited some since originally posted because I had some slightly more coherent thoughts about it]
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Alright, now that we’ve gotten that shit show out of the way.p
How Hawks being Trans in World Might Work
CW: overview on a trans guy’s childhood and medical history, transphobia mentioned
Dilemma Number 1: His Name
alright, so. he’d have to be going by Keigo, which is very much a masc name, by the time the commission got him. I propose
- he begins insisting that he is a boy from a very early age, probably from around three, and is baffled by other people somehow thinking he’s a girl all the time
- it becomes such a big deal that his mom is finally just like fuck it. whatever. I don’t have energy to fight you on this anymore, sure, you’re a boy. And then is like- well, if you’re not a girl, you can’t go around with a name like that, so we gotta call you something else.
- maybe it’s one of the reasons his dad abuses him. maybe letting kei have that is one of the reasons he abuses his mom.
- by the time she sells him off to the commission, it’s just second nature to call him her son, and just. Neglects to mention that he’s trans, because we’re already selling him, who gives a shit about his safety.
that brings us to
Dilemma Number 2: When the HPSC Realized
Because if they’d realized early on I feel like they would have tried their best to either squash it, or and if that didn’t work, given him HRT through puberty, so he wouldn’t have ended up with aforementioned hourglass figure and hips, so
- honestly, maybe just medical malpractice. Pediatricians doing brief genital inspections every few years to make sure everything is fine down there is pretty standard practice, but maybe the commission thought that would make them predatory [because obviously they weren’t already]. Or maybe they’d already determined the playboy persona they wanted him to have and that they weren’t intending on ever allowing him to be in a relationship, so what did it matter anyway?
- and if they didn’t know, he’d just continue on as he was, unhindered
- I think Touya would’ve been around eight or nine when the two initially met, making Kei seven or eight, and then the last time they saw each other would’ve been just after Rei was hospitalized, which would’ve made them twelve and thirteen
- so when Touya last saw him, Hawks probably would’ve already had at least some chest development and would’ve been binding, but nobody would’ve expected his voice to have dropped yet, so unless they talked about it, *which is very possible- haven’t decided yet-, there’s not a whole lot that wouldn’ve automatically alerted him to anything
- I do think Kei probably stopped taking his shirt off around people at the age of eleven tho
- I’d say the commission probably became aware of the situation shortly after Touya’s disappearance, because even if he was trying to avoid people seeing his chest, they’d eventually have to do at least partial physical exams and would need access to his chest and back for spine and heart checks.
- they might initially think it was gynecomastia [i mean technically it is, that’s how I referred to my chest pre top surgery], but with further testing realized he was trans.
and finally
Dilemma Number 3: Treatment
- Hawks is maybe thirteen or fourteen at this point, only five years away from his debut, and most likely he would’ve been so interwoven into future plans, his persona already well into development, and on a very clear trajectory to become what we know him as today, that it would’ve been more of a hassle for the commission to have to change everything, than to just let him proceed with medical transition
- so he goes on HRT when he’s fifteen, [it took a bit because the commission had sit and deliberate on this Very Hard Decision] and they continue as though nothing’s changed
- he gets top surgery at 17, a year before his debut
- and he is coached [unnecessarily] on how to never let that information see the light of day, and heavily shamed about it all
*if Dabi never did learn that hawks was trans, when he finally does, he is very much going to Magne [who is not dead in this au, fuck you Horikoshi] to just be like hi. y’know that hypothetical crush we talked about months ago, yeah, well, if that hypothetical crush was hypothetically trans, how might I specifically support them regarding that? Probably in a more convoluted roundabout way than that though.
Getting to see Hawks, a man who is not portrayed as particularly feminine and is short and shaped like me in media is really really nice. Getting to have gender envy over someone who’s body type actually reflects my own has greatly helped with my dysphoria and body image and he’s just so fucking important to me.
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Which brings me to the final section of this post:
Examples of Hawks’ Hips ass and Hourglass Figure, for your viewing pleasure, none of which are edited apart from color grading, he just looks like that
