#dabuerre

[dabuerre]

well fellas, tommorow is the day of my reckoning. by reckoning, i mean my driving license exam. im terrified. not neccessarily of failure, cuz, i could try again, but frankly, i just wanna be donee. its so much stress for me. so i hope i pass. i wanna be done, so badly. wish me luck pls. love ya all

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goddamit you know. ive been in the star trek fandom for quite a while. and everybody dislikes wesley. calling him a mary sue and shit. and its like. why do you blame him? in every single instance, where the "adults" scream at wesley, wesley is correct. they never apologize to him for anything. im watching data lore right now and he just got told to "shut up" twice.

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im so disguted by the european union right now. i cant believe we still have to fight against this fucking thing called chat control. it was defeated like 5 times by this point and they still keep fucking pushing it. it feels so undemocratic. ive been sending emails like a dipshit constantly ever since they started pushing this shit and i got a response once.

tommorow im planning to call every representative from my country who opposes this horrible, pointless shit and atleast thank them. i unfortunately feel absolutely defeated and i think this 1.0 version of the law is gonna get passed. i hope through this horrible law people wake up, and we start genuinely protesting or something. cuz i saw nothing so far. i dont know if information about it is supressed or if most older people are ok with it because the internet is a "vile place" or something. i dont know. im sad. i love the idea of the internet. what it used to represent. but at this point im thinking of nuking every internet presence i ever had. and i just.

well anyways. ive been rewatching star trek again. i need some hope in my life and this is the one thing that can give me that.

please, if you are in the european union, contact your representatives. be annoying. i think thats the only thing we can do. even though it feels absolutely pointless. is this really how democracy should work? https://fightchatcontrol.eu

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aight, tommorow im trying again to pass the driving test. wish me luck. i hope i finally do it. overthinking like a motherfucker rn

btw i did it again. i mistakenly posted this post in a community. i never check where im posting my god im sorry whoever moderated it. wish i could apologize for reals

[dabuerre]

well, i didnt pass. the theory test went great, got 48/50, where 43 was the minimum amount of points to pass. i got one question wrong.

i did fuck up on the practical lesson though. there was a weird intersection and i failed to give way "fully". the guy who was monitoring me sounded so dissapointed.

its not the end of the world, i just hope i can try again soon. i was told last week that if i failed i would have to retry in july, because at this time a lot of students in like industry schools are doing the drivers licenses, and they have priority. plus there is a lot of them. so. today i was told that it might be doable on the 11th, so im gonna hope for that.

fuck, was such a stupid mistake. i knew about that intersection before hand. even in my head, i was like, dont forget. but i panicked, ig. i dont know. im saaaaaaaaad.

[dabuerre]

i miss painting my nails. i loved it, but, once i started learning how to drive, i just lost all confidence. my instructor is a typical czech guy, beer gut, old, family type. and so i worry about his opinions. i went to a doctor once, had painted nails, and the lady was like "why do you have this" and im like. "well i like colors, so..." its sad. but ill be soon done. my final exam is probably gonna be on the 4th, and after that, im gonna go fucking nuts. every finger is gonna have a different color

[dabuerre]

so, i was on a bus on tuesday, and on one of those hand hold bars, i saw an ant. and for some reason it kinda fucked me up. i know that ants communicate through pheromones, and so.. i quickly realized that this guy is gonna die. alone. with no chance to reintegrate into another nest, or to find his home. i was so sad for him. i wanted to help him, but, there was no way to help. its impossible to tell where he came from. he couldve climbed in on any possible bus stop. he couldve been carried in on clothing or something. so many possibilites.

anyway. by this post, i have now immortalized this ant. and so if you have read this, keep him in your mind, for a bit.

godspeed, little ant

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so since ive been watching deadpool, and before that x-men 97, i wanted to check out the live action movies. ive never seen them before. i know the meme where rogue is like "yeah man i kinda wanna fix my debilitating disease which causes me to literally steal lifeforce of every living thing that touches me " and storm is like "nah girl you chill. you a cool ass mutant. no need to fix" so i did first movie. i thought it was ok. my main like takeaway from watching xmen 1 and 2 is that, well, the director was afraid of being cool. i mean they try. i dont get why storm, the mistress of elements, had to get fucking bodied by toad. also the fact that storm no longer "commands" the elements is a major drag. i miss the other mutants, too. morph. jubilee. beast. in xmen 2, there is a scene where nightcrawler teleports into the "well" to save the kids, and they are scared of him. i like to think they wouldnt be scared of him, if beast was a teacher at xaviers school. dont get me started on xavier and magneto. like, they are just very different characters compared to how they are in the animated series. and thats fine. i do find it utterly insane that magneto was a-ok with having his best friend murder 8? 9? im not sure the global population of the world in that series. but yeah, he was ok with his best friend killing bilions. which makes no sense. magneto is a fighter. he is strong, on his own. the most powerful mutant. he wants to fight. so. i dunno. i was saddened.

oh yeah. where is remy. when mystique was gathering info about cerebro 2, she saw him there, so he exists atleast.

also just remembered, made me laugh so hard. there is the scene after magneto saves the jet, where he and mystique go "love what you did with your hair rogue" and like. thats crazy. you fellas turned her into a nuke almost and you will joke like that? magneto? the saviour of mutants?

of course i like the gore though. it makes perfect sense that wolvie would fucking go ape shit and rip and tear. i missed that in the animated. but i wish they could somehow merge more stuff from the animated, with the "real, and gritty" live action shit. kinda like deadpool and wolverine did. that fucking last suit with the cowl made me fucking melt. so fucking cool. aight. ive now finished all the live action xmen movies. i dislike them heavily. normally when i like movie ill keep the file. so that i can rewatch or something. not with this saga though. and its not like i utterly hate these movies. its just, nothing worth revisiting in my eyes. im so bored of the dark phoenix storyline. people mustve fucking loved it cuz ive seen three adaptations by now. i definitely still prefer the animated one, but even that one was very messy, i didnt care much for the conclusion. these live action ones are horrible though. i dont think logan is capable of killing jean. and frankly, even if he was succesful, scott would kill him. so. i dont know. just strange, all around. oh, right. scott was dead by then. right.

first class and days of future past are interesting, ill say. it does make everything way too fucking messy. timeline wise, i mean. especially xaviers relationship with mystique. and frankly, its not a horrible idea. mystique was good. i liked it. jennifer lawrence is very fucking bland, but frankly, everybody kinda was by the end. i did love magneto though. the cast have no chemistry. except magneto/xavier, mystique/hank, in the original trilogy, jean/logan. there are almost zero friendly interactions between the crew, which hurts the relationships. i mean, i first class they atleast had that one fun power showing scene, with the party and stuff.

suprisingly. i thought apocalypse was pretty good. i kinda liked this interpretation of apocalypse. they kinda turned him into mutant jesus in a way. but it falls apart pretty quickly unfortunately. i wonder what happened to psylocke, angel, and caliban in the end. i dont think it was shown. they prolly dead though

oh, i was so saddened by dark phoenix. do you wanna know why? because of jubilee. they fucking got her in! and it was. absolutely meaningless. i have no idea why they went so hard with the costume design, an actual good look-alike actress. to have her do absolutely nothing. it was sad.

oh and the "relationship" with hank and mystique? i kinda love it. but not like that. XD if that makes sense. also i did dislike how beast was basically the hulk. felt weird to me.

so yeah. live action xmen are done. and im glad. such a messy fucking series of movies