The Daughter of a Righteous Man- Chapter 20
*SEQUEL TO THE LOOK IN HER EYES*
After her husband is drug to Hell, Ava Winchester and her brother in law Sam try their best to do right by Dean and raise her daughter, only to find that good intentions aren’t always enough. Loving someone isnt always enough.
Chapter Twenty, I Am Yours
Ella
About 16 Years Later
He was sleeping. His arm hanging off the side of the bed. His forehead was wrinkled. I couldn't tell if he was having a bad dream or a good one, but his eyes moved rapidly under his eyelids.
I crawled onto the bed next to him, and crouched over his head. I ran my finger down his nose, tickling it. "Wake up," I murmured.
His eyes flew open and he grabbed for the gun under his pillow before he saw it was me. He exhaled slowly. "What're you doing here?"
"I know how hard today is for you, Dad."
He groaned and shook his head. "Nope. I'm fine, kid. Where's Claire?"
"On a hunt," I said with a shrug.
"I can't believe you're dating a hunter,” he groaned, rubbing his face. His green eyes looked dull and tired. He needed to shave. "Not exactly a fathers dream."
"They say girls alway date people who resemble their fathers," I said gently with a mischievous smile.
His eyebrows raised. He pretended to be offended, pressing his hand to his chest. "I am nothing like biker Barbie!"
"Can you stop calling her that?" I asked with a laugh.
"Nope." He grinned widely.
Good. A smile. That's a start.
"Is Sam up?" He asked with a yawn.
"Probably. You know how he is. Up with the birds."
"And Cas?"
I shrugged. "He doesn't exactly sleep. Last time I walked by his room he was binging Game of Thrones."
Dad groaned. "We need to put a timer on his tv. It's going to rot his brain."
The bunker had been surprisingly quiet all morning. I think everyone knew that today of all days we needed to be gracious. We needed to be kind. He shouldn't be rattled, especially with everything that was going on.
"Maybe, but he likes it."
"And Jack?"
I reached out and took his left hand in mine. "Dad what's wrong? Why are you so worried about where everyone is?"
He shrugged. "Curious,” he grunted.
We were the same, Dad and I. We were cut from the same cloth. He squeezed my hand weakly. Today was a bad day on top of a million other bad days. We were trying to find a way to keep Michael contained, but he was worried.
By we of course I meant Sam, Cas, and Dad. I wasn't supposed to know, but I'm not blind. I'm also a really talented eaves dropper, especially when there's yelling involved.
"Want to get pancakes?" I asked him.
He narrowed his eyes and glanced at the clock on his bedside table. "Eleanor Mary Winchester, you're supposed to be at school."
I groaned and fell backwards onto the bed. I never would've guessed, based on my Dad and Sams history growing up that I would've been required to go to school at all, but I was so wrong.
Dad enrolled me in a private school, plaid skirts and all. Uncle Sam helped me with my homework, and with all the books around the bunker growing up I easily skipped a few grades in elementary school. My reading levels were off the charts, and I was easily able to do math and computers from watching Uncle Sam hack. Not to mention all the chemistry involved in spell work. Rowena was a great science tutor.
I was an almost seventeen year old high school senior. I only had two classes to complete next semester, and I was opting to take them online so I could help with hunts. Even though I hadn't told Dad that yet.
"Come on, Dad. It's the end of the week. Next week is fall break, and I'm already ahead on my homework. We can rent monster movies and eat way too much chocolate. It'll be fun!"
"No way, kid. You're going to school,” he said, patting my knee.
He got up, stretching. He turned his head cracking his neck with a satisfying pop!
"Sam May have already called me in," I said, hiding behind his pillow. I was wearing one of Claire's leather jackets, and a Harry Potter T-shirt Charlie had gotten me from Comicon a few years back, paired with my favorite pair of jeans. I wasn't dressed for school, and I had no intention of going.
He crossed his arms and glared at me. "I don't like you going behind my back, El."
I shrugged, twisting my sandy brown hair into a bun. It was getting long, and I kept threatening to cut it, but Claire's favorite pass time when we were alone was braiding it over and over again. Well one of her favorite pass times.
"It's your fault for creating this Full House, three Dads lifestyle for me." I shrugged.
"I am not Danny Tanner if that's what you're implying. We need to be clear on that."
I grinned widely. "Sam is obviously Danny. Cas is unknowingly Joey, and you're obviously cool but stern Uncle Jesse," I said crawling off the bed. I stood on my tip toes to place a kiss on his cheek. "It's way too late for me to show up now. It'll seem weird. Can we just please have a day for just us?"
I turned on my best daughter charm, bottom lip pout and all.
He groaned and pulled me into a hug, placing a kiss on the top of my head. "Fine." I was irresistible to him.
When I went on my first date with a girl everyone joked that it had to be from all the men I was around. How could anyone possibly compare to my three fathers, to the constant love and support? That's just what people saw, though.
I joked that it was all the mommy issues.
"Alright old man! Get dressed, I have triple chocolate pancakes with my name on them!"
Dad grinned. "Yup you're my kid." He said flicking the bun on my head. "I'll meet you in five."
I shrugged and walked into the kitchen. Jack was leaning against the counter staring at the coffee maker. I raised an eyebrow.
I always wanted a younger sibling, but nothing could've prepared me for what it was like to be an older sister to Jack.
"Hey Jackie," I said eyeing him. "Whatcha doin?"
"I want to make coffee... because everyone drinks it, but I just can't figure this out." Jack sighed, looking defeated.
I couldn't help but smile. "Let me show you," I said, taking out the bag of grounds. "Okay take this." I grabbed a filter. "Put it here. Then take a scoop of the grounds and dump them in. Push this back into place and press the brew button! Easy peasy."
His eyes widened as the coffee maker gurgled to life and started spitting out brown water.
"You are so smart Ellie!"
I smiled.
I was the woman of many names. Mom called me Nel when I was a baby, when I was in trouble I was Eleanor Mary, Claire calls me Ella most of the time, Sam mostly calls me Kid or Dean Jr, and Cas has experimented with nicknames, but they're usually so awkward that he sticks with Eleanor.
Jack poured himself a cup and took a sip. He almost dropped the cup, and he met my eyes and softly said, "Ellie this is terrible."
I laughed and shook my head. "Let me show you my ways." I said, wiggling my eyebrows. I walked to the fridge and pulled out the plain half and half, and I grabbed chocolate syrup and whipped cream.
I took his cup from him and poured out half of the coffee, and replaced it with half and half. I poured in a ridiculous amount of chocolate and topped it with whipped cream. "Try now."
He smiled widely and took a sip. His upper lip was covered in whipped cream. "I think I like coffee."
"Me too," I said with a smile. "Don't ever drink it black. I don't even really think Dad likes it like that. He just wants an excuse to be grumpy."
"Oh I do?" Dad asked as he walked into the kitchen. He poured himself a cup and took a sip staring me right in the face. "Mm. Yum."
"Good morning, Dean," Jack said with a whipped cream smile.
"Mornin’ kid." He winked at Jack. "What're you doing today?"
"Reading about social norms," Jack said with a nod. "I'm working on my interpersonal skills."
"Sounds fun," Dad said dryly.
"Castiel said it's essential for me to be able to exist in this world."
"Cas doesn't really have room to talk about interpersonal skills." I laughed and Dad nodded at me knowingly.
"What about you two?" Jack asked eagerly drinking his coffee.
"Breakfast and a monster movie marathon." I grinned widely.
Jack raised his eyebrows. "Is your life not already full of monsters?"
Dad and I groaned in unison.
Sam never liked Halloween, but it was Dad and my favorite holiday. We would always dress up in matching costumes, and stay up all night watching horror films. I would always sneak into his room and sleep curled into his back because it was too scary sometimes. From what I hear, it was the exact opposite of what his childhood was like.
I think he worked hard to keep me from having to learn to shoot guns and be afraid of the dark. Knowing that he fought monsters, though, was enough to make me not afraid. How could I be with The Winchester's as my protectors?
So we played pretend in the fall. We let ourselves watch slasher movies and pretend we were regular people. We pretend that I didn't get an anti-possession tattoo at 15, and that we didn't live in a weird underground bunker.
Dad sat his mug in the sink. "Let's hit the road."
"Can I drive?" I asked when we walked into the garage.
He stopped, and touched my shoulder to stop me. "Maybe you should stay home."
"Why?"
"You've got to have a fever if you think you're going to drive Baby."
I rolled my eyes. "My bad." Shouldn't push my luck.
"Get in,” he said with a laugh.
Dad always looked his most relaxed when he was driving the Impala. When it started up he always took a deep breath and smiled. No matter what he was going through he was able to find peace in his vehicle. A lot of people think that home is a place, but for Dad and Sam... that car was always their home. It's been the only consistent thing in their lives besides each other.
"The Little Pancake?" He asked me as he opened the garage and pulled out.
"Obviously. What? You new here?"
He grinned at me.
The Little Pancake had been our breakfast place since we moved back to Kansas. It had ridiculous pancake options. There's no way they could be healthy, and that's exactly what we loved about it.
He took me there after my first period, my first break up, my first C on a test. It was something special for just the two of us. Sam asked if he could come once, and Dad told him no, because they don't have kale pancakes. I think he hurt Sams feelings.
We went to our usual booth in the corner. "Do you think it's too early for a peanut butter milkshake?"
"Never," Dad said.
"Hey Dean, El." Our favorite waitress Cami said as she walked past our table. "The usual?"
"Yeah!" I said with a grin. "Plus a peanut butter milk shake."
"You got it," Cami said with a nod.
"So," Dad started, leaning across the table to talk to me. "Do we need to get you a homecoming dress?"
"Please," I groaned. "No way.. Claire would never be caught dead at a school dance."
"She might for you." He shrugged.
"Would you have gone?"
"For the right girl, I would've done anything."
I smiled. "You're a softy."
"Claire is too,” he said knowingly. "When it comes to you."
"You're all soft when it comes to me. I'm your Achilles Heel. Princess Winchester heir to the great throne," I said dramatically.
"Who raised you to be this way?" He laughed shaking his head.
"You. It was literally you."
Cami brought my milkshake and Dad's coffee. She smiled at him and lingered a little too long like she usually does. She was maybe thirty five, and she had a huge crush on him. She was pretty, and other than the fact that she worked in a diner, she was pretty spectacular. "You know she likes you right." I whispered to him.
"Me? No way."
"Dad come on. All the girls at school talk about how I have the hot Dad." Technically they say hot Dad's, plural, but there's no need to upset him.
"You should ask her out," I said gently.
"What?" He looked genuinely shocked.
"Yeah. You've been unhappy long enough, Dad. Put yourself out there."
"Eleanor, I'm not going to discuss this with you,” he said sharply. Eleanor. That meant the conversation was over. "So, what case is Claire on? Tell me about it."
I frowned and sipped my milkshake. My dad was my best friend, and I know how that sounds. We were tight knit, and I grew up being taught that family is the only thing that matters. Seeing him hurting was physically painful for me, and he was hurting a lot.
"Haunted house," I lied. "Seemed like a milk run. She should be back in a few days." She was actually researching ways to help Dad with the Micheal situation, but I couldn't tell him that.
"You worried about her?" Dad asked.
"Always," I said with a weak smile. "It's hard to care about someone that's always going. Especially when you can't go with them."
"That may be how it always is with you two,” he said glumly, sipping his coffee.
I shrugged. "Maybe, but I'd rather have her part of the time than not at all."
He didn't know that I had an interest in hunting. How could I not? It would be a fight when it happened, so I avoided bringing it up at all costs.
Cami came with our breakfast. Dad got a slice of apple pie with ice cream, and I got my mess of chocolate masquerading as pancakes. The conversation was over.
"I love this place," Dad said with his mouth full of his last bite of pie.
"Me too." I grinned, wiping the chocolate off my chin.
"To the video store?" Dad asked as he sat down the cash to pay and a high tip.
"Well, I was actually thinking..." I chewed on my bottom lip.
"Spit it out, kid."
"I was thinking maybe we could drop by and see Mom for a few?"
His back straightened and he visibly swallowed. "I.. I don't know, El. Is that really a good idea?"
I took his hand. "I think it's time. Don't you?"
He sighed and shook his head. It was always hard to get him to go see her. He was very cut and dry. The past is the past and that's it. No need in dwelling. But she’s my mom. So of course I had to dwell. It's a kids dream to have their parents together in one place. I knew I couldn't have that, and it was fine. I never grew up missing much. Cas, Sam, and Dad did a great job making sure I didn't miss a thing. Before Charlie died, she would come by and help me deal with the stuff the boys couldn't. Then Rowena... I have a big family, but there's still things that no amount of love can fill. More than anything, though, I needed him to have that closure so he could move on.
"I know you miss her," I said quietly.
He sucked in his breath and blinked a tear away. "Yeah, okay,” he said, tossing me the keys. I caught them without fumbling, which was a huge deal for me. I didn't question him, I just walked to the car and got in. He didn't smile when the car hummed when it started up. He just stared at the landscape as we drove.
We parked after what seemed like an eternity of open road. I took his hand in mine to make sure he could move forward. Pain was obvious on his face as we pushed through the iron gate. The air was chilly, but warm for October. The leaves crunched under our feet as we made it down the path.
"Hey Mom," I said gently, crouching in front of the polished marble. I reached out and touched her name that was carved in. Ava Winchester.
—————
Chapter Twenty-One, A Way to You Again
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