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euphoria | j.kiszka x reader (plus sammy and jakey)

"Take my hands now, you're the cause of my euphoria"

- in which your normal parenting life takes a rather weird break -

request #1: why am i imagining josh and y/n slightly drunk playing w all the babies and then suddenly disappear and when everyone goes looking for them they find them cuddled up on the couch sleeping😭babies and all😫😫😫😫 maybe they’re each holding one and they have one cuddled up between them😭😭 i cant

request #2: 13. “I lost our baby.” With josh plz if you can

warnings: dad!josh is a whole ass warning; also slight smut, graphic sexual vocabulary, fluff, also pregnancy, mentions of depression, also if i did this right then also a lot of crack BTW IT'S 8.5K WORDS U HAVE BEEN WARNED

disclaimer: i suggest you read zero o'clock first, as this sort of continues the previous story

taglist: @starchords @stardustdanny @theweightofstardust @the-chaotic-cow @obetrolncocktails @gretagolden @ageofflowerpower @llightmyllovee @tlexx @dreamsoffilm @eeeloraaa @thatcatbsong

“Unbelievable” Jake’s eyes were wide as fuck as he stared through the glass

In front of his face, there was only one wall with a big glass separating him from an enormous amount of newborn babies.

“Can’t believe Y/N had twins” Jake added as Sam wouldn’t reply

“Seriously?” Sam’s tone was both sarcastic and serious at the same time, as his eyes looked down at his brother “you can’t believe your twin brother had twins?”

“....Yeah, you’re right, my bad” Jake shook off his head, realizing now what he had just said

“I can’t believe they had two girls, though” Danny added as he approached his fellow bandmates, handing them each one cup of coffee

“That’s actually cute, and surprising, yes” Jake replied

“What were the names again?” the youngest Kiszka inquired as he took a sip off his coffee

“Josh picked Veronica” Danny started

“Obviously” the two brothers spoke in unison

“Creepy” the drummer muttered at his friends' reaction but sighed before speaking louder “And Y/N chose Adora”

“Adora? That’s so cute!” the other twin brother commented.

Sam couldn’t believe it either. He had seen you pregnant the last weeks, as you and Josh had let him crash their place before delivering the babies. However, he thought you two would have checked at least how many kids you were having. Apparently, you wanted to keep everything as a secret, and now the nursery room wasn’t going to be enough.

Many rooms far from it, Josh was lying by your side on the bed, with an arm around your shoulder and another hand stroking yours.

“We had twins” he spoke softly, still taking in the sudden news

“Well, the twin spoke” besides feeling extremely tired, you were still up for jokes. It was the adrenaline of having brought not one, but two kids to this world was keeping you pretty awake and even energetic, though your husband by your side was not feeling it.

“God, I’m so tired” Josh sighed, letting his head lie on yours, his cheek resting on your forehead

“You are tired? I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had opened up your vagina to bring two babies to this world” you replied sarcastically, gaining some giggles from your husband, though those giggles disappeared quickly as an idea hit his head

“Wait, did they ruin your pussy? My pussy?” he got up a bit just to be able to see your face, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his fake offended face

“Baby, my body belongs to them now. Forget about my tits too, you’ll have to share them now” you laughed even louder as Josh sighed and began fake sobbing

“I’m a baby too, I need your breasts!” you slapped his shoulder laughing as now you were feeling tired.

Josh was obviously joking, and his plan was working. He was 100% aware that you had had the longest, most tiring day of your entire life. The least he could do was make you smile and laugh as you two were waiting for the nurse to let you hold your babies for the first time since they had come out of you. While watching you laugh and throw your head back, Josh bit his lip as he smiled; his life had just changed for the best. He truly was in love with you, and his heart was melting just at the sight of you sweaty and tired, but laughing loudly like ever.

“I’m in love with you, mama” he spoke so softly it came out almost as a whisper, but you heard him clearly.

You caught his loving stare, one that you could never get tired of. He had been carrying that look on his face since the very first day you had met. And still, it never once changed. You were scared of losing that sparkle of love once you got married and had kids. But Josh was more than just in love with you; he was devoted to you, and that one thing was never gonna change, not with rings, not with babies, not with time.

“Don’t you mean mommy now?” you commented, wanting to keep the teasing from before

Josh shook his head slowly, his eyes locked with yours, sharing you that gaze that could melt your entire body, heart and soul. His free hand went straight to your forehead, washing off some sweat with the back of his hand, before cupping your face. As his thumb stroked your face, you started feeling tears in your eyes.

“You have no idea how much I love you. And I will always love you the most, my darling. You’ll always be my first choice, my first love, my everything. You’re what music feels like, you’re what romantic movies talk about, you’re what every single poem has been written about. You’re my life, Y/N, my one and only Y/N”

As tears began rolling down your cheeks (ones being cleaned by his thumb), you replied.

“Now our daughters will be the love of your life, and I could not be any happier about it”

“You’re wrong” Josh shook his head one more time, some tears starting to form in his eyes “Even with Veronica and Adora, I’ll still choose you”

You frowned, confused at his answer. You knew he would be the greatest father, so this reply didn’t make any sense.

“Really? They’re your daughters, Joshy”

“Yes, my daughters that we brought to this world and that we will raise until they decide to leave us behind to have their own lives. And I have a beautiful mother I adore and love but, just like my daughters, I didn’t choose her. I didn’t choose any of those three amazing women. I chose you, Y/N, to spend my whole life with. I chose you to grow old together, to enjoy all adventures and suffer all pains together. You’re the only choice I have made that I will never regret”

If you were crying before, now you were just sobbing uncontrollably. Josh’s words were always carried by the strongest feelings a human could have, and he always managed to make it evident in his voice, tone and sentences. Now they were hitting harder than ever, as always time had been making you insecure, afraid of one day losing this man’s love. But Josh loved you, and he was willing to do anything for you. He had proven it with actions several times before but words were not reassuring each one of them, and your heart could barely take it. As you cried your eyes out, you opened your arms for Josh. He embraced you into the warmest hug, landing kisses on every single part of your body he could kiss, as he let you cry everything out. Meanwhile, he kept on drying your back, back of the neck and forehead with a little towel, preparing for, in the following hours, meeting your daughters properly.

The time came just an hour after Josh’s beautiful love confession (the millionth since you have started dating, basically). Your eyes couldn’t understand how beautiful two babies could be. The two nurses entered the room with big grins as they handed one baby each. Josh took Adora in his arms while you held Veronica, whose nickname had to be reconsidered to not be confused with the baby’s aunt.

“God, Y/N, look at them” Josh was in pure awe, his eyes were nailed on the daughter he was holding in his arms.

Almost subconsciously, he sat on the edge of the bed, his pure concentration on the little baby as you sat properly to hold Veronica closer to him.

“They’re beautiful, Josh. Our babies our beautiful” tears were still rolling down your face but you didn’t care; your eyes were also only focused on your daughter

“They have your eyes, darling” Josh commented, his attention now diverted to you. His smile only grew bigger at the sight of his wife holding his daughter “They’re as beautiful as you are”

You smiled at his comment, stealing a quick kiss, as you exchanged babies. You two spent minutes just staring at your newborn babies, completely shocked at the fact that you had eventually become parents. Then the doubts and concerns hit you, almost at the same time.

“How are we gonna do this?” Josh inquired “We never expected two, now everything changed”

His eyes found yours, as his question had also worried you.

“I don’t know, baby, but we’ll figure it out. We always do” you reassured him, though you failed completely as you were evidently afraid

“We got the guys, my family and yours. We can’t fail” his tone was better than yours and he managed to calm you down a bit more.

After that conversation, a few minutes later, Sam, Jake and Danny joined the party. Josh handed the babies to his brothers, biting his lip one more time as he couldn’t believe the sight.

“God, you really are a father now” Sam commented as he swung Veronica from one side to the other

“The daddy thing now has double meaning, huh?” Jake joked while staring at you, giggling as you reacted to his comment.

“Shut up!” Josh said, his eyes widening at the comment and making him slap his twin brother

“This really is awesome, guys. The girls are precious” Danny was in awe, his eyes going from one baby to the other

“We’re uncles now” Sam swallowed, the words feeling a bit less real than he expected

“And we’re parents” Josh finished, sitting beside you as he kept on kissing your forehead “Are you good, baby?” he muttered to you, though obviously everybody heard

“I’m tired and scared, but I’m good” you replied, your eyes closing a bit.

Josh smiled at your words, knowing the huge trip you two had coming for the next 18 years or so, if you were lucky. He gave you more kisses all over the face, thanking you every once in a while for making him the happiest man on earth.

A few months had passed, and the twin girls were almost twice the size they used to be. As you had said before, you were scared of parenting. You knew you could do it, you had been getting ready for months. But now the two babies had changed everything. Nothing of your life had changed; your marriage with Josh was better than ever and the stress parenting was giving you was worth it at the end of the day. Your life truly had changed for the better.

You never imagined how much two little beans could change you; the way you saw the world, the way you felt, the way you imagined. Everything was about them, you were seeing the world through their eyes. You started appreciating the small things, and suddenly every second was important. And every second of your life, you wanted to spend it with these two little girls and your beloved husband.

Josh was doing so much better than you thought. He was ready for everything, and it seemed like he had energy the 24 hours of the day. It was funny, anyways, as he would fall asleep instantly the second his head would hit the pillow. But the smile he would wear while doing things for his daughters and for you was inexplicable. You adored that smile so much, and knowing you and your kids were the reason behind it gave you a million more reasons to believe you had hit the jackpot.

Suddenly, all moments were to be treasured.

Your favorite moment was the night. You never thought you could love staying awake all night for the sake of the babies. A little cry would make you jump off bed and go straight to the nursery room. Most nights, however, you couldn’t deal with your own mind and you would eventually bring the girls with you. Josh never once complained, as he loved spending every second with his three girls. You had some reasons behind your actions; watching Josh sleep with both girls cuddled on each side of his body was your favorite activity. He looked so soft, as some saliva would escape his mouth, while tiredness would hit his body entirely. The girls adored him, and they would hold onto his hair or clothes to sleep closer to him. Several tears escaped your eyes each time you would watch them sleep, knowing this was your life now and you couldn’t be any happier.

Josh’s favorite moment, however, was play time. These two sunshines loved playing all the time. His days now consisted basically of sitting in the nursery room or the living room and grabbing any toy to make the babies laugh. Trouble was double with these two that just had so much fun jumping from mommy to daddy. You were smiling widely as the girls tried talking, grabbing your fingers and pulling you to play with them. Josh was almost non-existent when it came to playing, as you were better at it than him. He loved this moment, mostly, because he could watch you be the happiest person ever with the two girls you had brought to the world. At those instants, Josh would realize he was the happiest man on earth as long as he had you, Veronica and Adora by his side.

However, not everything was sunshine and colors. Having a baby demanded a lot, but having two required even more concentration and work, and sometimes you guys could barely make it to the end of the day. As expected, you were giving up your lives for the girls and you never once regretted it. You would do it over and over again, but you were very tired. In these past months, you believed Josh and you had slept an average of an hour per night, if you were lucky. You were developing a bit of postpartum depression, as you missed having the girls in your belly. You still had Josh by your side to hold you while you cried, as he stroked your hair and reassured you everything was going to be ok. But you weren’t blind; when Josh thought he was alone, you could see how badly affected he was by everything. It was more than understandable that he was suffering everything as much as you were, and it hurt you to know he was never going to open up to you, as his priority was always you and your health.

You were sharing all this to your mother-in-law during a beautiful family event you had been invited to, as expected. Josh had brought you with him, plus the little babies, to a family barbeque lunch one shiny Sunday, as an excuse for his family to finally meet the new members of the Kiszka group. You had already presented your kids to your side of the family and it was about time Josh’s side were introduced to Veronica and Adora.

“Oh, sweetie, trust me, I understand everything you say” Karen sweetly spoke as she took a sip of her drink

You were holding Adora in your arms, playing with her little arms as the simple action would make her laugh a lot. It was Josh’s fault, since he was the one who had started playing like that with her. Now she demanded it all the time, and you were tired of hearing her cry.

A few meters behind you, Josh stood with most of his male relatives as he showed Veronica around. You could hear Josh’s laughter as he shared about the pregnancy and how Sam crashed your place the last weeks. The latter boy added many more anecdotes to the conversation, making everybody laugh a lot. Josh was constantly checking on you and Adora, and you would catch him doing it as you too were also turning around all the time to see him.

Karen caught you right away and a big smile painted her face.

“Your love just keeps growing, Y/N. It shows on your face” her comment made you turn around once more, smiling back as your cheeks grew red

“I am in love, Karen. I can’t believe I am actually so in love. And not only with Josh. I’m in love with life, with happiness, with myself, with everything. I have never been so happy before” you knew your words were not matching your face, and Danny’s mom was the first one to notice

“Tell that to your face, Y/N” she giggled after speaking, making you sigh without erasing once your smile

“It’s just that we’re truly so exhausted. And it’s more than just taking care of these beautiful babies”

You looked down at Adora who was now playing with your hair. She looked back at you and smiled, and for a few seconds you forgot what you were talking about. When she went back to messing with your hair and shirt, you quickly returned to the real world, continuing your message.

“Josh is also overwhelmed with work and I am supposed to go back to it at any moment. I am truly happy, but my mind just can’t take a rest and I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle this” you finally confessed, feeling good about getting that off your chest

“You do look like you could take some rest. Have you tried napping?” Karen asked

“Many times, Josh sleeps while I cook and look after the kids and then we switch places. But it’s not enough. One sudden cry and we’re soon awake and ready to calm them down. We can’t truly rest our head anymore, not with sleep at least” you explained while stroking your baby’s back

“There are other solutions, though” Jakesuddenly spoke as he sat beside you

“What?” you looked at him while frowning, your expression being found in his mother and Danny’s.

“Alcohol and fun, Y/N. Especially alcohol”

“Dan, sweetie, I’m a mother. I can’t exactly drop my daughters to get wasted” you laughed, still confused about his answer

“You can because we’re here, Y/N. Sam and I haven’t drunk one drop of alcohol. Let us take care of the babies so you and Josh can get drunk and enjoy one day without worries”

Something about his words made you consider the offer. I mean, you could really use a bit of distraction. But how could you get these babies off your arms? You were dying to have them near you all the time, and don’t get started on Josh. He could go crazy if he didn’t hold at least one every single minute. You were desperate to relax, but the idea of not having your babies around was not something you liked.

“I don’t know, Jake” you started, your eyes looking down at Adora who was eating some carrots Karen was giving her

“Trust me, we can do this. They’re our nieces after all” Jake began stroking your back, his eyes too stuck on the little girl you had in your arms

“Have you said this to Josh?” you asked, now glancing at him

“Let me bring him and I’ll tell him”

Before you could complain, Jake stood up quickly and towards his brother, bringing him slowly with the female crowd. You felt Josh’s hand caressing your head as he sat down on your other side.

“Hey, mommy” he said softly, a big smile on his face, though his eyes were looking at Adora “And hi, princess! Are you treating mommy right, Addy?”

You could watch Josh talking to your daughters all the fucking time, as his voice would get so soft and cute that it could make you cry. He started stroking Adora’s head and, while she was laughing as she stared back at her dad, Josh continued bouncing Veronica. You exchanged babies right there.

“Jake has an idea, babe” you told Josh as his eyes were locked in his daughter

“Mmhm?” he was not in the real world when he had any of the baby girls around him

“Listen, listen” you shook his arm a bit, finally gaining his attention

You both listened carefully to Jake’s weird but possible plan. When he finished, you glanced over at Josh whose expression was so uncommon you couldn’t read it. You tried, anyways, to guess what he was thinking.

“You don’t like it” you said, your eyes were stuck on him as he was staring into nothing

“I don’t” he started “I want to hold the girls at all times, I can’t separate myself from them…”

“...but?” you raised your eyebrows, knowing he wasn’t done

“But we really could use some rest” he finished, his eyes now meeting yours.

“I know, Josh, but you can trust us, really” Jake intervened, noticing how you two were still looking at each other, as if you were communicating with your minds

“It won’t be for more than a few hours, baby” you were liking the idea every time more, but Josh needed more convincing.

His eyes were looking around, in between you and the two little babies you were holding. His concentration was stronger when his eyes would land on Adora or Veronica, and the idea was every time more silent. But the big bags under his eyes were also heavy, and he needed to do something about it.

“Fine” he finally said, releasing some air “It will be good for the girls to get used to their uncles, anyways”

With a nod, you stood up, waiting for Sam to approach as Josh handed Adora to Jake. Once Sam was near, you did the same with Veronica. As you both expected, the two girls began crying the second you raised them in the air. Adora’s hands were clinging onto Josh’s shirt while Veronica wouldn’t let your hair go. A knot was growing inside your throat as you watched Veronica cry louder once Sam held her in his arms. Josh noticed your anguish as if he could read your mind, and he soon hugged you from behind, landing his chin on your shoulder and placing little kisses on it every once in a while.

“They’re crying” you pointed out as you watched your brothers-in-law walk away with your daughters

“They’re gonna be fine, baby. Give them some time” Josh reassured you into your ear, as his arms continued caressing your belly. He knew how sensitive you still were about delivering the girls and no longer having them inside you, and he had learnt that stroking the place was calming you down.

“Jake’s not exactly the best with babies, Josh. He made those kids cry about months ago” your eyes were still stuck on your kids that, finally, were chill in their uncles’ arms

“He was dressed as a big ass pumpkin for Halloween, baby. Even you cried” he commented, making you giggle, as Josh bit your shoulder “Let’s get a drink, alright?”

And, like always, Josh managed to get you out of your train of thoughts, with that magical power of his. You had been put under a spell the day you met this man, and since that day you had never once been able to think straight. He was your every day thought and your every night dream, and you never felt like this was torturous. You had fallen, truly, deeply in love with Josh and would choose him over and over again, no matter what.

It took a lot of drinks to have you and Josh truly get distracted. Even after two cocktails, your eyes were still looking around, following every move Jake and Sam made with your daughters in their arms. As you had imagined, they made every single person at the party chat with the babies, play with them and, obviously, meet them.

“Sam’s gonna make her fall, Josh, tell hi-”

“They’re fine, don’t worry” Josh stopped you, stroking your arm as he already had one of his own arms over your shoulders.

His eyes were also stuck on his brothers but he had to be the calm one, so somehow you two could actually rest. He obviously was concerned, but he was doing his best to trust his brothers. The babies were not even a year old but you definitely will have to have someone taking care of them, and it was actually good for the girls to get used to others.

Josh kept making any possible drinks for the two of you, accomplishing with each of them to calm down your nerves and anxiety. Around the tenth cocktail, you finally managed to relax properly, being a bit too touchy like you would always get around Josh. It was his fifteenth drink, though, but he was already gone. Josh had sat down with you further from everybody, as his hands began exploring your legs.

“Josh, your grandma is here” you talked in between giggles as his hand began lifting your skirt

“She’s drunk as fuck too, babe, this family’s main ingredient is alcohol” he reassured you once more, though completely different from before “Besides, I fucking need you”

You were shocked at the words, really. You couldn’t stop hearing them over and over inside your head, while Josh’s lips found your neck. He still desired you, even after all this time.

You had met this man at the age of 19, when one of your high school friends dragged you to a local bar to witness a small band’s debut, where the guitarist happened to be her friend. You knew these guys from school, but never once paid attention to them. You did pay a lot of attention that night, especially to the frontman. He was breathtaking; his talent was still growing but was already amazing, and he knew how to drive a crowd insane. You felt like a leash had been put around your neck, forcing you to only have eyes for him. You thought it was crazy, as you had never once believed in love at first sight. But you knew this couldn’t be any normal physical attraction, and you thanked your friend for taking you backstage to congratulate the band. His eyes found yours the second you met them, and until this date, he never once stopped having that sparkle in his eyes as they stared at yours. That feeling that took over the two of you the moment you met had never once left.

You were so afraid he would lose that passion he felt for you with the years, with marriage and obviously with kids. You knew the pregnancy was going to set a “before and after”, as your body was probably not going to be the same after carrying two girls. It wasn’t as bad as you had predicted, but you still struggled to feel as sexy as you did when you two had met. However, this man was still obsessed with you, like he had been since day one, and nothing could change those feelings.

And he never once changed either; no matter how much time had passed, he still could make you get wet with simple words. Though, obviously, his hands were doing an amazing side job.

“Josh, baby- fuck” you tried to stop him, as you felt everybody could see what he was doing

His hand was deep inside your skirt, and his fingers had already found your underwear. They were stroking your clit above the cloth, feeling how wet you already were and teasing you a bit, just to drive you more insane.

“Someone’s already ready” he joked seductively into your ear, taking a soft bite into your earlobe.

You bit your lip, tangling his curls into your fingers.

“Fuck, get me out of here” you spoke, almost breathless “People will see us”

“Idontcare” he murmured so weirdly you were surprised you actually understood him

“Josh, I’m not cumming in front of your mother”

There was a silence as he pulled away.

“Good point” he nodded, standing up “Let’s go”

He kissed you passionately, though quite fast, before grabbing your hand and pulling you with him. You rushed right behind him, letting Josh guide you inside and towards one of the rooms. The night was approaching and everybody was still celebrating and playing around with the babies as you sneaked with Josh to fuck, just like when you were teenagers.

But your husband was never the best at planning things when drunk and he had not a better idea than to enter a small bathroom. You two could barely fit in the tiny space but you could always make it work.

As you sat by the sink, Josh quickly placed himself in between your legs, attacking your mouth without waiting a second.

“Fuck, I need you so much” he spoke into your mouth, his nails digging your ass, in an attempt to bring you closer.

“Then take me…” you pulled his hair a bit to look at him, feeling dizzy by the sudden move “...daddy”

“Fuck, that’s weird now. Don’t ever say it again” he truly was disgusted by the word, one that had turned him on several times in the past

“Yup, I didn’t feel good either”

After that strange exchange of words, you resumed the steamy but messy makeout. With the years, these encounters had become each time more…bizarre, to say the least. Everything was messy and weird, like the makeout sessions grownups used to have in those old sitcoms our parents would watch. It was still hot and good for you, but when a lot of alcohol was in the middle, there was not a chance this would actually look good. You didn’t care anyways; anything done with Josh was amazing for you.

Many, many minutes after that, and several floors below, Jake and Sam were fucking exhausted. They sat on two chairs, a bit away from the rest, as they held the babies in their arms.

“This is fucking exhausting, dude” Jake released, along with a long sigh

“How the fuck do they do this? I’m sweating in places I didn’t know I could sweat” Sam kept on complaining, without once stopping his leg from shaking to keep Adora entertained

“I need a drink”

“We can’t fucking drink with babies in our arms” the younger brother responded quickly, feeling a bit more mature about children as he felt he learnt something while living with you and Josh (author’s note: this is only his feeling, not one bit of that is true).

“Well, I still need to get shitfaced, man. I can’t keep this up without a shot of Vodka or Tequila. Or anything, at this point”

“We need to get rid of the babies first”

Jake slowly sat up, fear evident on his face.

“...yoU WANNA KILL YOUR NIECES!?” he screamed in the lowest voice ever, only making Veronica laugh

“NO, IDIOT!” the youngest replied in the same tone, covering Adora’s ears, just in case “I say we give them to someone else, you know, for only 2 minutes as we have a quick drink”

“...Oh, that makes sense” Jake nodded “But to who…though?”

Jake was right. Sam took a look around, and found every single relative of his family wasted as fuck. Even their grandma was completely off her head as she poured down another glass of Whisky.

“Is everybody really drunk?” Sam was in awe, glancing at everybody

“Welcome to our family, I guess”

“I am your family, jerk” Sam rolled his eyes

“I HAVE AN IDEA” the older brother suddenly whispered loudly, now making both baby twins laugh. He was utterly confused at their laughter but decided to ignore it

“Speak, brother”

“Let’s leave them in a room”

Silence took over for two seconds before Sam went insane.

“Jake, my beloved, are you ouT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?” by now their conversation just consisted on them whispering as loud as possible, with Sam covering Adora to prevent her from hearing him curse

“HEY, HEY! It’s not a bad idea!”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. I’ll drop these kids somewhere else so Y/N and Josh can sLIT OUR GODDAMN THROATS” Sam’s hairs were even standing up, as he couldn’t believe how dumb his older brother was

“They don’t need to find out, bitch!”

“You really think Y/N won’t find out?” the youngest brother opened his eyes widely “I am terrified of Y/N and you know it”

“I mean, she will murder us while we sleep if she ever finds out”

There was another silent moment before Sam spoke, changing the mood a bit.

“She is drunk…though” he looked at his brother

“So is Josh” Jake looked back.

It only needed 5 more seconds for stupidity to hit both brothers. And 5 seconds later, the two were running inside, holding the babies in the most inhumane way possible. Anybody (sober, obviously) watching this scene would believe it was just a sketch. But no, you would be wrong, as Dumb and Dumber were actually finding an empty room to place two 8 months old babies to get a drink. And they actually did.

Ronnie’s room was not only empty but also quite fresh for the new heat summer was bringing. Sam handed one of the babies to an already struggling Jake who, now with two babies, was basically juggling to keep the two humans in his arms. Meanwhile, Sam grabbed every single stuffed toy that his sister had saved all these years and placed them comfortably in the middle of the bed. Then, slowly and with calm, both (rather stupid) brothers placed their nieces with the toys, and, when noticing Adora and Veronica were fine, they quickly stepped back. They remained far away from the bed, contemplating their new work of art.

“If Y/N finds out, we’re dead” Sam commented

“If Josh finds out, he buries us alive” Jake added

Both brothers were not looking at each other, as their eyes concentrated on the small beans called “nieces” that they had just placed in between a hundred stuffed animals.

“If we get caught, deny everything” Jake reassured his brother, not sure of how much of a joke his words were

“If we get caught, I’m blaming your stupid ass” Sam now looked at his older brother whose face was deformed into a funny expression of betrayal but, before he could say anything, Sam continued “Let’s go, quickly”

And like that, they escaped to finish their plan: get a drink.

But the words “a drink” were never truly real when it came to this duo. One drink turned into six, though later became ten. Soon, they were as drunk as everybody else, and the unholy pair of brothers forgot about a special something. Two special somethings, actually.

Several rooms further away from the twins, and in a bathroom smaller than an oompa loompa, Josh was making love to you like tomorrow was your last day on earth.

“Come on, darling, cum for me” Josh demanded in his sexiest tone, as he thrusted harshly into you.

His fingers were making wonders on your clit and his teeth were marking every inch of your neck. Your eyes rolled backwards as the most powerful orgasm went through your body, making you moan louder than ever. Just as if destiny had made its call, Josh finished too, right with you. Your connection was still strong, maybe even stronger than before. You remained in the same place, with your hands holding onto his head and his face buried into your neck, trying hard to recover. Your bodies were not the same as they used to be, and orgasms were a bit more tiring than before.

“Fuck, I needed that so badly” you let out, as you worked on steading your breathing

“You’re fucking awesome” Josh could only comment, placing wet kisses on your neck

The most surprising thing is the fact that you still were drunk as fuck. You couldn’t sober up not one bit after that (we can call) quickie. Your head was actually so dizzy you were afraid you would throw up on Josh. Not that he would mind anyways, it’s not like anybody hadn’t thrown up on him the last eight months. But you definitely were not a newborn baby, and you couldn’t deal with more vomit.

In that same state of drunkenness, and as Josh pulled out, his eyes landed on your cleavage.

“What’s that?” he pointed at a green thing, hidden in between your breasts.

You took it out, showing it to him.

“Oh, Adora’s pacifier” you smiled, your eyes almost closed as you giggled. Josh was not laughing. Josh was drunk as fuck, for the first time in almost a year and a half, and he was not laughing.

“Where’s Adora, baby?” he was narrowing his eyes, struggling to see right with the amount of alcohol in his veins

“I don’t know” you laughed one more time, until the answer hit you, and Josh, right there.

Both your eyes opened as wide as possible, realization hitting you, as well as another wave of dizziness.

“Where’s our baby, Josh?” you looked around, as if a fucking baby could be in that room too

“Adora was with you last time” he replied, copying your exact same moves

“No, I gave her to you! I had Veronica last time”

A moment of silence for the drunk marriage that could not comprehend one bit of what was going on. Then you looked at Josh, who soon glared back, both of your eyes still opened widely and both of you still completely wasted.

“I lost our baby” you finally spoke, holding onto the walls as you felt like falling

“Didn’t we have two?” Josh asked, quite serious actually, as if he had forgotten for real

“Oh fuck, we had two!”

Two people had never dressed up so quickly before. You were sure your underwear was not even placed correctly but you didn’t care. Your mom instinct made you run from that room, desperate to find your daughter. Josh’s urge was not any slower, and he stumbled as he left the room in the same hurry as you.

But a mother’s instinct, and a father’s instinct, mixed with a lot of alcohol was definitely not the best combination for the moment.

Every two steps you did, you fell to the floor, making Josh laugh behind you. A stupid thing to do, as he was also falling to the ground every two seconds, feeling like everything was spinning.

“How many rooms does this house have?” you asked, blinking rapidly as you couldn’t see normally

“I don’t know” a struggling Josh replied, holding onto you once he reached you.

“Didn’t you live here, for God’s sake?”

And at that moment, a cry was heard. A cry that to you felt like a lighthouse.

“Was that…?” you started, looking around to corroborate you were not insane

Another cry was the answer you needed, and it immediately made you and Josh look at each other.

The third cry helped you find the source, or better said, the babies. It actually was like the fifth cry or so, as the twins were crying for their parents.

“That one!” Josh pointed, making you rush inside Ronnie’s room, as the ‘Do not Bother’ on the door didn’t exactly mean anything to you.

A sigh of relief was released from your body as your eyes landed on the small human beings crying on a bed. Josh stood right behind you, once more holding onto you as he could barely stand on his feet.

“Adora!” you cried out, running to the bed

“Veronica!” your husband copied your exact same tone, following right behind you.

You both kneeled on the bed, right beside each other, as you stared at your kids.

“Didn’t we have two?” Josh asked suddenly, making you raise an eyebrow “Why are there four babies here?”

You rolled your eyes, slapping his head softly.

“You’re drunk, moron. Blink a bit and you’ll see two”

While you grabbed Veronica to calm her down, Josh obeyed instantly, feeling relieved at your quick solution. He held Adora in her arms, both of you soothing the babies while swinging them around.

“Did you miss us, baby girls?” Josh’s ‘daddy voice’ was back on, his tone getting softer with each word.

The alcohol that had possessed your body had somehow started vanishing right here, as you worked hard to calm down your upset daughters. The solution wasn’t working, and even exchanging babies seemed to fail. Then an idea hit your brain.

“They’re hungry” you commented, quickly removing your bra and clothes to breastfeed Adora, who found your nipple and as rapidly began sucking

“You’re always right, that’s so hot” Josh murmured, apparently still a bit drunk “What do I do with Veronica? Can you breastfeed two?”

“No, but I brought the bottle. It’s in the kitchen”

With Josh’s help, you managed to get off the bed. As slowly as you could, you followed Josh, though his hand on your lower back was enough to guide you without needing you to remove your eyes off Adora. She was now much calmer than before, as apparently all she needed was you (and your you-know-what).

A sudden wave of tiredness took over your body once you made it down the stairs and into the kitchen. The exhaustion of the whole day had, out of nowhere, hit your body, and you felt completely weak. You were still moving Adora around as she sucked, when you asked.

“What time is it?” your eyes were fighting to stay open.

Josh had sat Veronica on the counter by his side, as he warmed up the bottle that was now filled with breast milk.

“I think 10? Maybe 11pm, I don’t know”

Your eyes were now completely open and, to nobody’s surprise, stuck on Josh. It was both amazing and hot, watching him check the milk’s temperature. Just like his mother had taught him during the last weeks of pregnancy, Josh spilled some milk on his wrist to check the temperature. When he noticed it was neutral, not too hot nor too cold, he made a small nod before picking up Veronica to feed her. Once he caught you staring, you bit your lip with a smile as he asked what was wrong.

“You’re such a DILF” you commented, making him, and yourself, laugh.

Josh made his way towards you and kissed your lips, short but yet a sweet, loving kiss. He stood right beside you, feeding his daughter as you did the same thing.

“You have no idea what that means” you looked at him

“Not one bit” he shook his head and you laughed loudly.

As he chuckled too, you finally closed your eyes, feeling relieved upon making that decision. Without realizing, you let your body slid down and towards the floor, while your arms held Adora close to you (not much to not choke her). Josh copied you, almost at the same time.

“I’m so fucking tired” you commented, your hand stroking Adora’s back as he pulled back. You took the opportunity to dress up and work on making her burp.

“Me too, we’re getting so old” Josh joked, helping Veronica burp too as she apparently wasn’t as hungry as her twin sister

You had a sudden urge to look at your daughter, and so you placed her on your legs, having her facing you completely. Your eyes were lost in hers, a happy yet tired smile showing up on your face. You were awakened from the trance you were in by Josh’s soft kisses on your shoulder.

“We’re parents, Josh” you spoke out loud, more directed at you than at your husband “We really are parents”

“And we’re pretty good ones, if I must say” he added, holding Veronica in the same way you did with his other daughter. His eyes were now as lost as yours, as you both stared into the eyes of your newest and bestest creations “They’re our daughters, we made them”

“And they’re beautiful”

“Like their mother”

You found him staring at you lovingly, and you felt like melting right there. But, instead, you kissed his lips. An action that made two little daughters become quite jealous. You laughed at their reaction, realizing you were not the only one in love with Josh. Your husband laughed too, bringing Veronica to his chest and hugging her in the softest, most loving way someone has ever hugged another human being.

You could truly feel just how much he loved his daughters with each hug, each stare, with all the words he loved saying to them. His hand was holding Veronica close to his chest, and even though it was bigger than the baby’s little head, it was still holding it in the most tender way possible. His eyes were closed, with his cheek resting on Veronica’s small head, as if he was feeling every single thing from his daughter. There was a shy smile painted on his face too, as he let the moment take him. The sight was just simply heartwarming, and even though it was not the first time you had witnessed Josh holding one of your daughters, it still made your heart skip a billion beats.

As Josh was enjoying his moment with Veronica, you let your attention belong only to Adora, whose eyes were still stuck on you. She was really so small in your arms, despite growing like crazy these past months. She was so heavy yet so light, and so calm yet so energetic (just like her father). You didn’t realize how widely you were smiling at her until your cheeks began hurting. But it was a pain you loved so much, as you adored this baby with everything that was you. You took a deep breath, cuddling her to your chest as you loved feeling her small heartbeats going in sync with yours.

Some minutes after this endearing moment, Dumb and Dumber, in the backyard, had a sudden yet late epiphany.

“JAKE!” Sam suddenly screamed, making his big brother wake up fast from his drunk nap

“I DIDN’T DO IT!” was the first thing that came off his mouth, noticing the small plastic cup on his head that he inspected before throwing away

“What?” Sam inquired, glancing at him confused (and rather annoyed too)

“Nothing, I’m a bit traumatized, that’s all” Jake shook his head, looking for the way to change the topic quickly “What is it?”

“The twins!” Sam was truly desperate as the sudden memory of working on the nursery room with Josh reminded him of two little kids he was supposed to be watching over

“One is here” Jake replied while pointing at himself, still a bit drunk

“You fucking stupid human being” Sam started, massaging his temples “Still can’t believe you’re older than me” he took a deep breath before screaming “...I meANT OUR NIECES, FOR GOD’S SAKE”

Right after Sam’s sudden scream came complete silence, and soon Jake and Sam were running faster than the speed of sound, in direction towards Ronnie’s room. In that minute that took them to climb the stairs properly, all the alcohol in their bodies had disappeared.

It was Sam who abruptly opened the door to his sister’s room, another one ignoring the sign on it that specifically asked for people to not bother.

And their heart dropped, as the stuffed toys were still in place, only now being suffocated by the body of Sam and Jake’s sister.

“RONNIE!” Jake was now desperate, maybe even more than his brother

“Shut up! She’s sleeping!” Sam was quick to cover Jake’s mouth as he dragged him outside

“B-but…the twins?!” The eldest brother was losing his sanity as Sam took his time to think

“Someone took them” he analyzed, gaining an eye roll from the other

“Thank you, Watson, couldn’t have done it without you”

“What!? They could have walked outside alone!” Sam defended himself

“These are not fucking Superman’s kids!” Jake was one second away from slapping his brother, but he managed to control himself, thinking for once only about the twins

“Fuck, where are they?”

As the question was thrown to the air, the two brothers took different paths to find the missing babies. Never once did they notice their brother and sister-in-law were also missing, as they were deeply focused on finding the only evidence of their neglect.

They looked everywhere, opening every single door they can, even the drawers (Jake was not truly in his right mind by now).

“Not here!” Sam called as he closed another bathroom’s door “Fuck, what a big ass house” he murmured

“Not here either” Jake replied, closing the last drawer from the hallway. When he looked up, he found Sam staring at him in disbelief, hands on his hips as he stood there.

“Seriously? A fucking drawer?”

Jake shrugged and signaled with his hands in an attempt to explain himself, to which Sam only rolled his eyes.

“Downstairs” was all Jake managed to say, as he once more had another (quite late, should we say) epiphany.

The two brothers ran as fast as possible downstairs, going now together to every single room possible.

The bathrooms were empty, the guest room too. The small but fitting closets were as well empty and the living room was silent, not a single soul being seen. In desperation, Sam and Jake ran past by the kitchen and towards the backyard, looking for help.

But they stop in their place right there, by the kitchen’s entrance.

Their hearts were beating fast due to the new agitation, but they were melting at the scene in front of their eyes.

As Josh was asleep with his head on your shoulder, you were sleeping peacefully resting your head on his. But the true beauty came from the lower half of your bodies; cuddled up to both of you, Veronica and Adora were as asleep as their parents, holding onto their chests. You had one arm holding Adora while the other was holding Josh’s hands. Your husband was keeping Veronica close to his neck, as the little one hid her face in it, with his free hand intertwined with yours.

Sam and Jake were in awe at the beautiful sight, never once noticing they were taking small steps towards the sleeping squad. As Jake sneaked some quick pics, Sam put a hand on his chest, admiring the loveliness of this beautiful family.

“Jake” he called his brother who, at the mention of his name, got up and put his phone away

“Yeah?” Jake answered as he stared at his brother’s charming family

“I take it back”

He made a pause, growing nervousness inside his brother’s heart, whose eyes were wide in fear as he stared at Sam.

“If we get caught, I’m dragging you down with me, you fucking bitch”

i am falling for dad!josh ngl, thanks for requesting and reading!! i love you all so much <3

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