I need more of Kabu being a better dad to Ash than that deadbeat failure of a sperm donor (*cough*Giovanni*cough*).
their not related but Ash clings to Kabu more then any of the younger gym leaders do. it doesn't help that Centiskorch adores the kid almost more then Kabu who's raised it from a newly hatched Sizzlipede.
you can catch the pair hanging around Motostoke and the Galar News and Gossip rags go wild. because even though they aren't related they almost look identical standing side by side. they especially like to visit the food market that pops up every weekend during the more warmer months. you'll most likely see Kabu out and about shopping for weekly groceries while Ash is literally dancing in the background. Pikachu and a ridiculously big sizzlipede sharing space on his shoulders while Ash is double fisiting two very full kabobs. giving each Pokémon a bite from one of the kabobs before taking one himself from the other one.
it's an every weekend thing and it drags a lot of attention from around Galar since videos and pictures fly about and sometimes the other Gym leaders will show up as well. Raihan cooks a lot himself so he's always asking for tips and trick from Kabu to pick out the best produce and Gordie just likes to fuck around and not be near his mom so he's breaking it down in the background with Ash while holding his Shuckle and one of Raihan's Trapinch. Pier's is there in the background with his hoodie up, as much as it can be with all that fucking hair, and he usually has coffee in his hands. getting tugged around by Raihan when the group moves a few stalls down. just trying to survive off of the five minutes of sleep he's got collectively through the week.
Nessa joins when Milo comes along to bring hand cut meat to Kabu around twice a month and Ash is still dancing but he's recruited by Nessa to be her photographer because she always wear fire af fits when visiting anyone on her days off. she is a model after all. Milo just watches them in amusement with Kabu.
not to say he and Ash don't hang out. Kabu and a lot of the other gym leaders of Galar get a bunch of pictures of Ash challenging off the few Dubwool Milo's family keeps around on their farm. he always looses but his laughter as he's being bucked into the side of the barn or into a pile of hay is nothing but pure joy.
sometimes Kabu invites Ash to come with him too Ballonlea because that's where he gets all his mushrooms to cook with, Opal hooks him the fuck up with the best of the best, and Ash is still dancing in the back with Pokémon on his shoulder's but this time he's somehow dancing with Opal's Togekiss balanced perfectly on his head.
yes Ash twerks, he's good at it but uses the moves to dance to the wii themed music that constantly plays in his head, and the world can't really process him doing that with a 83.8 lbs or a 38.0 kgs Pokémon on his head while he does so.
Melony: come get your son, he's T posing Gordie into a corner and I can't take my sons screaming anymore
kabu: he's not my son *shows up anyways to collect Ash who's giggling like the little fucker that he is*
Kabu and Ash have the same disgusted/annoyed look on their face and the world only finds out about it because Rose and Oleana make themselves known during the pairs daily weekend shopping. Ash only starts dancing again when the two leave.
there's a lot of non fire type Pokémon that show up around the gym and it's just a universal fact that 90% of the time it's just Ash's Pokémon he caught in Galar so far. Kabu just takes after them because Professor Magnolia would kill both of them with her cane if her house was flooded with them because Ash doesn't and will never use storage boxes.
since Kabu is a middle aged man and his home turf is Hoenn he absolutely shows Ash some old ass anime he's watched as a kid/young adult and they make a night of it. Allister likes to join the pair and so Bea gets dragged along. they end up watching a lot of Studio Ghibli works later on in their get togethers.
Kabu can actually stay up surprisingly late without issue but he's a big bitch to deal with in the morning. he only grunts, huffs, and snarls like an grumpy Arcanine. Ash has somehow learned what each sound means and has successfully learned Angry Kabu Speak or that's what Gordie and Raihan call it.
Ash ends up staying at Kabu's actual home with the man as he takes on the Galar league, sponsored by Melony so there's no favoritism even though it's exceedingly obvious. it takes the old man three whole ass months before he realizes that Ash had taken over half his yard and somehow turned it into a blooming and fruitful garden.
there's a lot of Hoenn plants that are native but their mostly house plants. hanging from the ceiling in just the right spots to get enough light or taking over a few of the windowsills. a good quarter are in ports made from Hoenn, shipped with the plants which thank you Steven and Wallace, but the majority are handmade pots that Ash finds during his travels around Galar or from the weekend market.
Kabu totally gets a tiny crush on Delia from just the stories Ash tells him about his childhood in Pallet Town during dinner or when something makes a memory pop into Ash's mind. it doesn't help at all that Ash calls her over the Tv system at least twice a week, Wednesday night before dinner and Sunday morning before Ash is dragged into doing the weekly chores to spruce the house up for when Monday comes.
he would never say anything about it to Ash. Kabu would literally kill himself before speaking about having a crush of any size since Ash would go gossip with Nessa who's always around Milo at his farm after work, who'd then go tell Gordie and he'd go snitch to Raihan and Piers. in the end it would somehow work its way up to Rose and Oleana-
yeah, Kabu's lips are sealed shut.
that doesn't stop the blush that lightly colors his cheeks every time Ash pulls Kabu into frame to say hi to his very pretty and very sweet mom.