#dad application 2023

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(forces him into fatherhood by default as one of the few adults on the blog)

Name: N Harmonia Age: 22 Height: 5'9" Preferred Dad Title: Just Dad works. He will accept whatever Xion wants to call him Dad Credentials: Well he had a shitty dad so he has a good framework for what not to do Best Dad Joke: Why do they call it Luvdisc Day in this world? I don't see people going to the ocean to see the Luvdisc. (He's seriously asking. This is not a joke.)

If Xion Brought You A Dead Animal What Would You Do With It? Probably gently tell her not to do that. But also he was a feral child so he understands the sentiment. Just don't kill animals Xion please god

"If you don't kill the animal, then how are you going to eat it?"

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Name: xigbar works well enough Age: idk like parent age?? Height: taller than you, obvs Preferred Dad Title: wait, that's what this is about?? dude i'm not fit to be a dad, just call me like... "bro" or whatever Dad Credentials: like i said, not exactly dad-worthy, but i know how to lead a pack, and i'm good at breakin the necks of anyone who messes with the underlings, so... yeah. Best Dad Joke: what starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? firetruck. thanks, i'll be here all week If Xion Brought You A Dead Animal What Would You Do With It? didn't you already do this?? pretty sure i just ate it. really appreciate that you're contributin to the pack, dude

"I can't believe I share genetic information with you." Truly Xigbar is the one dad that she is Stuck with.

[perditos]

MOM APPLICATION ?

Name: "Elizabeth Moxley. I usually just go by "Liz," though."

Age: "Thirty-six."

Height: "5'8". But I am 5'9" with shoes, and that is very important."

Preferred Dad Title: "Just whatever you're comfortable with. "Mom," "Dad," "Liz," "Lizard," no bad choices here."

Dad Credentials: "I have a son. Raised him by myself, I was the mom and the dad, so "dad credentials" do fit here, actually. He's an absolute hellion, but I raised him right. He's a good kid. You might know him, actually. Also gave him brass knuckles when he was around twelve years old. Maybe questionable, but I taught him how to use 'em right. And look at him now."

Best Dad Joke: ""You know Orion’s Belt? Big waist of space, huh? Didn’t like that joke? That’s okay… it’s only got 3 stars." Totally stole that, but it's a good one, and it doesn't say I have to make one up myself. Play smarter, not harder."

If Xion Brought You A Dead Animal What Would You Do With it?: "I'm going to be honest. I've been around the block. I've seen some things. But I don't know what I'd do about that. I guess I'd ask where you got it from, and what you're planning on doing with it. Go wild, kid. Just do something with it before it starts to rot, 'cause that kind of smell's never getting out of your clothes."

"This sounds great, Lizard."

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DAD APPLICATION ! (Would Sascha really do this? Who knows!) NAME: "Sascha."

AGE: Somewhere in his late 40s.

HEIGHT: "6'2". Last time I checked. I think."

Preferred Dad Title: "Whatever's fine. My daughter called me "mom" until she was around six years old. I don't know why."

Dad Credentials: "I don't know. I have a daughter. I kind of raised my little brother, too. I think I'm certified with... "dad credentials," I guess."

Best Dad Joke: "Don't really do dad jokes. Once said "Hi, Tired, I'm Sascha" to my daughter, and she almost kicked my ass. Unbridled fury for a seven year old. I do wear socks and sandals around the house, though, which she makes fun of me for. She says that's "dad.""

If Xion Brought You A Dead Animal What Would You Do With it?: "I mean, it depends, I guess. Maybe just bury it. If it's a squirrel, or something, I guess we could try cooking it, or taking the fur for something. I don't like letting things go the waste. It's disrespectful to the animal."

"Maybe your daughter called you mom because you seem so motherly?"