katsuki bakugo
cw: hubby!kat x wifey!reader, overwhelmed reader, soft katsuki, reassurance, fluff(?)
“daddy,”
katsuki was sitting in the playroom with his daughter, miya, helping her clear up the toys she used as it was nearing bed time.
you were in the other room upstairs, nursing your one year old son who was fussy the whole day.
he hadn’t responded because he’d expected miya to ramble on like she always did, talking about her dolls or school or whatever it was that was on her mind.
when she didn’t speak he looked up at her, she was holding her dolly who’s leg had popped off mysteriously, hair done in a braid by miya herself.
but he knew that wasn’t the problem, that happened a while ago. “what’s up princess?”
miya bit her lip, like the information he was holding was top secret. it was scaring him a little.
his eyebrows furrowed, trying not to come to the worst possible conclusion. “you know you can tell me anything, right?” katsuki pressed gently, dropping one of the pretend burgers into her kitchen set.
miya nodded, crawling over to her dad and sitting on his lap where he immediately cuddled her.
it was scaring him even more because it was so out of the blue, when katsuki had got home she’d been fine, playing with her brother and talking about school.
his hands seemed massive laying on her tiny back as she played with his shirt, almost nervously, like she shouldn’t tell.
“i saw.. i saw mummy crying today. i asked mommy why she was crying but she started smiling and said she was ok.”
when miya looked up, her eyes were slightly glassy and katsuki swore he felt his eyes tear up too.
seeing his baby cry provoked an emotion out of him that only people in this house could provoke, his heart tugging uncomfortably in his ribcage.
“i don’t think mummy is ok, i want mummy to be ok.” her soft little voice, the way her bottom lip trembled, it was all too much for him.
he brought her close, pressing her against his chest as he struggled to even find words. for starters he was so worried about you, but he’d attend to that later.
the fact that at such a young age she was so aware about other people’s feelings made him wonder just how intelligent she was.
both you and katsuki made sure she lived as a child and nothing else, not having to worry about anybody else but herself and her brother.
yet somehow, she was capable of feeling so strongly for others to the point she was upset at you being upset.
“listen sweetheart, i think your mummy is just tired lately, y’know how sometimes your little brother cries when he’s sleepy?”
he felt her mini head nod against his chest, his thumb rubbing up and down her back, looking at the box of toys in the corner.
“im pretty sure that’s how she feeling, she just needs a lot of rest.” his normally rough voice was just a hunch softer, only for his sweet girl.
miya looked up, big round eyes looking at him with such trust and love.
“really?” she asked, her mood brightening almost immediately like a child would.
katsuki nodded with a tight smile, not that she’d be able to tell the difference entirely anyways.
“c’mon, let’s finish cleaning up the bomb you left you in here and get in your jammies.”
a giggle came from her, protesting that the mess wasn’t a bomb.
after going upstairs and saying goodnight to her in her room, katsuki walked towards your sons room, pushing the door open a little.
he was already asleep, baby monitor on as he was splayed out on his crib, sleep sack secured.
smiling softly, he left the room, closing the door behind him as he approached your bedroom, opening the door and closing it behind him.
you were there, taking your hair out as you pulled back your side of the duvets, ready to call it a night.
“hi baby,” you cooed gently, though you weren’t even looking at him, tucking yourself into bed.
katsuki’s heart only got heavier and his frown deepened as he moved to his side of the bed, laying ontop of the bed.
for a few moments, he just watched, unsure of how to approach the matter.
you were taking some vitamins before pulling out a book, getting ready to read.
without thinking too much, katsuki took the book out of your hands, grabbing your attention rather quickly.
you looked up at him, utterly confused, but he didn’t let you get a word in.
“what’s wrong.” it wasn’t even a question, it was a statement, like he already knew something was wrong.
having been caught off guard, you let out a scoff mixed with a laugh, eyes looking at him like you should be asking him that.
“i’m fine..? i’m just trying to read.” you mumble, reaching to snatch the book back but he tossed it over his shoulders without another thought.
you watched it land on your rug with a deafened thud, pursing your lips together.
“tell me the truth y/n.” he said again and you rolled your eyes a little, making movements to go and retrieve the book. “i’m fine, chill out.”
his hand grabs your wrist which stops you altogether.
you look at him and see that he’s not playing around in the slightest, his red eyes analysing every facial expression you have to offer.
“that why miya saw you crying today?”
oh.
immediately your face flushed, eyes wide at the realisation that your daughter had seen you crying.
you thought that she was busy playing with her toys, you’d retreated to your sons room for a moment where he was taking a nap, the first time you had him quiet the whole day.
the tears took over you before you knew it, not even the soft kind, ugly sobs that had your body shaking, only muffled by your hand practically suffocating yourself.
you loved being a mother, you wouldn’t trade it for the world.
but the hard days were hard.
katsuki was a good help, when he came home from work he’d make sure to take over with the kids as much as he could so you could focus on other things.
but still, if it wasn’t the kids you were looking after, it was the upkeep of the house, with two kids under five who didn’t entirely understand the concept of chores, it was quite difficult.
and most of all?
you felt ugly.
you’d changed quite drastically after pregnancy, your beautiful figure long forgotten, filled out with curves and pudges.
not to mention you felt like a walking milk machine, shirts often stained with leaking milk from your nipples.
“babe?”
your eyes fluttered and you were back in your bedroom. it didn’t take more than a few seconds before you felt the hot tears slide down your cheeks.
drop.
drop.
drop.
katsuki manoeuvred you like a doll, bringing you to his chest and cradling you like he was to miya not long ago.
“i’m just so tired katsuki.” you sob brokenly. for so long you’d tried to bottle it up, telling yourself that this was just a part of motherhood.
he didn’t say anything, just rubbing you gently as he listened, he didn’t want to interrupt you.
“my body isn’t my own anymore, it’s just so hard, i feel overwhelmed sometimes and i’ve gotten so fa—“
he was listening intently until the last word, where he grabbed your chin in a half rough half gentle way, making eye contact
“if you finish that word i promise i’ll slap you.”
you gave a sniffly chuckle, you knew he was joking but there wasn’t a smile on his face, as much as he was kidding, he looked dead serious.
“aren’t you meant to be consoling me right now?” you huffed through squished cheeks, cheeks wet and eyes sparkly in the light.
“consoling you? of course, but i’m not going to sit here and listen to you berate yourself.” he scolded.
you rolled your eyes, he was always so serious when it came to you being self critical. that was because he knew the difference between criticism and just being unrealistic.
right now? you were the latter.
when you tried to push him away he remained steadfast.
“i’m serious y/n. don’t say those words about yourself, ever.”
your eyebrows were raised up. you thought he was just trying to make you feel better. “but it’s true.” you shrug hopelessly.
katsuki felt his heart shatter even more, he didn’t know your self image had gotten this bad.
“are you being fucking serious?”
you blinked.
“you can’t expect to have carried two children and look how you used to. you’re obviously going to look different. fuck if i had to carry even one child, god knows how i’d look.”
a smile crept up on the corner of your mouth, but he wasn’t done.
“baby, you’re the most gorgeous woman i’ve ever had the fortune of meeting and marrying. whether you’ve gained or lost a few kilos, i couldn’t give a fuck. you’ve given me life in ways more than one.” his voice was softer now, more gentle, like he was trying to prove how genuine he was with the tone of his voice.
he despised you feeling this way, he despised himself even more for doing a shit job at reassuring you.
sure, he’d called you beautiful and gorgeous or whatever word under the sun he could find. but that wasn’t enough.
he realised it now, something he should of seen so long ago.
you didn’t even realise you were crying again until it dribbled down your chin.
“i’m sorry for not reassuring you enough, i should’ve seen how bad you were hurting.” katsuki sounded like he was wanting to cry too, his voice the type of soft that he only ever exposed to you.
you shake your head, laughing and crying as you hug him tightly. “it’s not your fault kats, i refused to tell you how i felt.” you smile, a heavy weight that had been anchoring your heart disappearing.
he kissed your forehead, his fingers tracing the lines of your hair as he held you just like that, needing the closeness as much as you did.
“how about you go out of town for a few days, with your friends. i’ll take a couple days off work and stay with the kids.” he proposed, before changing his tact quite suddenly.
“don’t worry about me or the gremlins, if you do then i’ll think you’re doubting my parenting skills.”
your eyes gloss over again, but it’s not out of sadness this time. it’s because you’re overwhelmed with happiness. it made you wonder why you ever thought to hide how you truly felt from him.
it made you feel guilty for not being truthful with him sooner, for thinking he wouldn’t understand when he made a vow to understand you for the rest of his life.
“i love you kats, honestly.”
he gave another peck to your temple. “i love you too idiot.”
gentle cries came from your sons bedroom, you could tell what type of cry it was. he was hungry.
“i got it, you get some sleep.”
pulling away from katsuki, sighing as you thank him with a smooch on his lips. you pull yourself back into the covers, watching as he stands up and walks out of the bedroom, leaving you to close your eyes.
although you’d been sleeping everyday, tonight, you knew you’d really sleep.
