Me, at ghastly hours of the day.
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Me, at ghastly hours of the day.
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@dadjokesinaskr [ cont ]
"Hey, uh, sir...?" He's been considering asking this for a while now, but it had never been a nice or pretty question to think of in the first place. Still, he knew the Summoner himself had, if anything, a somewhat similar situation, and so he hoped to at least get some advice from the arguably more experienced man. "If I can ask... is there any way to make missing people hurt... less?"
Today was just the day of difficult questions or demands, wasn’t it? First Reyson, now this Alm kid was coming at him with something that just didn’t have any easy answer.
Sebastian rolled his head a little, making a low noise in the back of his throat as he thought on Alm’s question.
“…I’d say it…sort of depends on who the person is, and your relationship with them. You don’t miss some people as much as you miss others, yeah? So…you should try to identify that first,” he started, hesitant. He really wasn’t the best person to ask advice on this, as he didn’t handle this sort of situation very well in the past – but, it wasn’t like he was about to tell the kid to go on a couple years long binge
“There’s…There’s a bit of a difference in missing someone, and keeping them in your thoughts or close to your heart. You shouldn’t…or, well – it’s not healthy to fixate on someone you’re missing. When you do that…you stop moving forward with your own life, you let that missing feeling turn into something that drags you down, and keeps you down. And whoever it is you’re missing, I doubt they’d want you to stop living your life on account of them.”
Myra had all but told him that, at the end of it all. She hadn’t been able to follow them out, and so it was up to him to build a life for himself and their daughter. He’d say the same to Lily right now, if he could; she had to keep living her life, even if he wasn’t there with her right now.
“But, you keep ‘em close to you, however works best for you, that can help. Some, you know you’ll get to see again after all this. Some…well, you might never get to be with again like you might hope, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still with you to some degree. People that come into your life, they touch it, leave a little mark – big or small, good or bad. You might not be able to make it completely painless, but…reflection is good. You have to find a middle ground between yourself, and your pain; accepting whatever’s happened to cause the separation. If you just leave it as it is, don’t address it, it’ll just fester.”
A pause, a deep breath inhaled through his nose.
“And…no matter what other people might tell you, it’s okay to think back on someone you miss, or do something you used to do with them, and feel sad or even get angry about it. It might feel weak or irrational sometimes, but you gotta let yourself express what you need to. It’s a bastard in the moment, but you’ll feel better in the long run afterwards.”
Alm’s hands clasp together as he listens to the Summoner talk (Sebastian, wasn’t it?), a nervous sort of expression on his face. Sure, he had lived uncertainty and distance before from a friend, and it had been as painful the first time as it had been now, but... this felt different. It felt... He wasn’t sure how to express it, yet he was certain that perhaps the man would understand.
He nods as he listens, taking in the words that likely come from a raw sort of experience that Alm is certain he should probably not ask about. Even so...
There’s something in the man’s words that strikes him, perhaps about as hard as a slap would. Of all the words to hear from seasoned adults, to let himself feel wasn’t one of them. There had been no time for feelings when he had to grieve, there had been no time for his own peace when so many others leaned on him for support.
“I...” And it really shouldn’t have him so choked up. The summoner is a stranger in a strange land, though, wasn’t he? Likely missing his own as much as those who had not been reunited with anyone were... didn’t that make his words valid and true? Didn’t it mean that grieving had meaning? But was it time to?
A shuddered sigh leaves him, and he then shakes his head. “I’m sorry. It must have been difficult to speak of this.” Alm says after a moment’s thought, wringing his hands together before letting his right fall to his side, the left rising to a spot at his neck, where a necklace sits under his gambeson. “But... thank you.”
No matter how seasoned he had been to the feeling, he had always felt without guidance— to receive something to heartfelt, maybe... maybe...
He exhales. “For us all, I hope this war is done soon.” Reaching out, his left hand hesitantly grasps at the man’s shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting gesture.