It’s been a little while since I posted writing and I’ve been feeling uninspired recently, so I thought I’d just finish a little blurb I started a a while ago! Happy New Year — I hope everyone had a lovely, safe time celebrating 🥺🥰
Word count — 989
Content warnings — pregnancy
“I think your pregnancy hormones have transferred to me,”
Luke’s voice is a quiet grumble, one you barely make out in your sleeping state. Your eyes flutter for a moment and the room is dark; the sun has set. You swear it was daylight when you fell asleep. You shift in his hold, cuddling into the warmth of his body and burying your face in his neck.
“It’s dark,” You whisper, knowing you’ve both slept for much longer than you intended to. Luke chuckles at your words, a yawn escaping as his fingertips trail up and down your back. “How long have we been asleep for?”
“No idea,” He replies, feeling around the bed behind him for his phone so he can check the time. “It was a good nap though, without that annoying thing.”
Luke gestures to the large, oddly shaped pregnancy pillow set at the end of your bed, thrown out of the way when you had laid down next to him. It had taken Luke’s place in the bed, creating a border between the two of you as you sleep, to take the pressure away from your back. Luke hated how whenever he reached out for you in the night, it got in the way — so he took every chance he could to sleep next to you without it being there.
“It helps me,” You pout, and Luke laughs, his lips brushing against yours to stop you from pouting at him.
“I know. I just miss holding you,” He replies, shifting so you were laid against him, your bump resting on his own stomach like it would on the cushion. His hand rests over the middle of your bump, feeling for the soft rolls and kicks that he loves so much. He doesn’t feel any, though, and knows the baby must have fallen asleep with the two of you. “Bubs is taking a nap too, huh?”
You nod, your own hand resting on one side of your bump. “I think so, must’ve been tired from all the not sleeping they did last night.”
“Come on bubba, wakey wakey,” Luke teases, his fingertips lightly brushing over your stomach to rouse them. “You’ve slept enough now, nap time is over.”
You laugh at his words, waiting to see if the baby would listen. You love hearing how soft his tone is with your bump, how he’s so gentle. “Hmm, I don’t know if they’re ready to wake up yet.”
Luke doesn’t give up though, his hands not leaving your bump — one smoothing over the skin in soft circles, poking different places to see if you’d get a response. “You think he’s annoying now, bubs? Wait until you’re born.”
“Hey,” He frowns, resting his head on your shoulder so he can look at your bump, waiting for the baby to show some signs of being awake. His own eyes are heavy with sleep, his sleep tousled curls tickling your jaw as he lays on you. “Don’t listen to her, I’m not annoying.”
“We’ll let them be the judge of that when they’re out,” You reply, resting your head against his. The two of you bask in the serene feeling of the room, now softly lit with a golden glow from the lamp next to Luke’s side of the bed. “Have you had anymore thoughts on names?”
He hums in acknowledgment, wracking his sleepy mind for the list he had begun in the notes on his phone. It was changing everyday, more names being added, some being deleted. He didn’t let you see until he was sure he liked it. “I think Delilah is pretty, if it’s a girl.”
You smile at the suggestion, Delilah being a name that had come up a few times in your recent discussions. “I think that can definitely stay on the list.”
Your sentence is almost cut off, and even Luke lets out a “woah” when you feel a sharp kick against one side of your bump. Luke’s face immediately lights up at the sight, his gaze softening at the interaction between the baby and you. Sometimes he struggles to believe there’s really a baby growing inside of you, your baby -- that he’ll get to love and cherish forever.
“Looks like someone decided to wake up, huh?” Luke laughs softly, his fingertips soothing the spot. It’s then he realises what he just said, that seemed to wake the baby up too. “Or maybe they like the name too.”
“Maybe so,” You ponder, your hand pushing Luke’s hair away from his face and gently sliding through the soft curls, like silk against your fingers. It’s not long before the baby is kicking up a storm, and Luke almost feels bad for wanting them to wake up. As uncomfortable as it could be, you’d never take it for granted - it’s a sign that the baby is okay. “Well, I had a few hours of peace I guess.”
You shift in the bed, feeling the ache in your back at being laid still for too long. Luke notices, and playfully sighs in defeat at the sight. “So I’m no replacement for the cushion?”
He helps you sit up and brushes a kiss to your cheek, one hand moving to rest on your lower back.
“Only a few more months until it’s gone, babe.” You remind him, met with a jokey eyeroll as he moves the firm yet soft material from his side of the bed. “And then you’ll have a baby taking your place instead.”
Luke is hit with the realisation again that you and him will really have a baby, and it makes his heart skip a beat when he thinks about it. He’s so excited to see what they look like, if they have his nose, or your lips, and to hold them in his arms. He knows he’ll never want to let them go.
“I think I can get used to that.”
***
Ask - feedback is always appreciated! Thank you for reading <3
5sos does like behind the scenes of like tour and concerts , but like imagine we see babygirl hood coming on tour and we see her from a squeaky newborn to a babbbling bub
𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 ⇉ tour & baby
warnings ➢ breastfeeding ig??
so basically everybody would be in awe of how perfect your brand new little family would be, it would definitely trend and you and cal would be so grateful for all of the support you two garnered. but since they were on tour, you already were there for the first month, pregnant but cal insisted you needed to come. one of the few scenes was just calum laying with you, arms over your hips and him cuddling into your back. the labor wasn’t filmed, but andy had taken photos of it which were posted on your accounts. it was pretty quickly after that you and calum had appeared with your little girl in your arms, seeing calum bounce her around in his arms and play with little toys on the couch or at the venue.
all of the boys had some sort of interaction with her in the video diaries, luke letting her sit in his lap while she squirmed around, which made fans go crazy because who wouldn’t want to see luke with a baby? but they celebrated every single new week, every little new mark of her life which made for content. like when she started interacting with music, or smiles and giggles, they documented everything. this tour diary was slowly becoming calum’s daughters video diary.
there was one moment where ashton was bouncing, giving her big kisses to her chubby little cheeks, calum warming up on the bass and luke in the background singing. you were sitting nearby calum, “cal, you guys your daughter is smiling right now!” which made you two drop the practice, as did everyone else and they were now focused on the baby rather than preparing for the performance that they were putting on in five minutes. she was smiling brightly, calum grabbing her from ashton and bounced her in his arms. “that’s my little girl huh? you like smiling, you happy my lil’ bub?” which literally made you and quite frankly everyone else in the room melt.
there would be some bits of backlash for andy capturing you breastfeeding and it being included in the video, andy explaining that we should all appreciate women and show how natural it is to breastfeed. calum also had a moment where his daughter tried latching to his own, pulling her away quickly and seeing michael snort at the scene. “hey, i mean at least she knows what she wants.” calum laughing in response, “my little bub, gotta wait for your mommy to get back soon.”
but when she started crawling it was over for them, she would constantly be going everywhere during performances when you were backstage and it’d be the funniest. you two would be in the dressing room and all of a sudden would hear coos from outside of the room, your daughter in sound-techs arms while she giggled and held onto them. she would end up in the weirdest places, crawling over to ashton and interrupting his ice-baths which he would not be upset over.
but your daughter had captured the internets heart and nobody was upset about it, excited to experience parenthood with many people helping you out and supporting you both in this wild journey.
Summary: maybe something about dad!ash having like two kids but reeeeeally wanting another one bc dad Ash makes me MELT for @latenlghtdevil
Word Count: 1.1k (I lied, it’s easier to post long ones like this)
Although he tried hard to avoid them these days, Ashton had spent most of his day tucked away in a studio with the boys, tracking drums and finishing up the final tweaks to the lyrics they’d been working on. The band had been on hiatus for a while, long enough for them all - each with at least one child a piece - to get settled into their new roles as parents and gain some stability in their home lives, but they were finally back in the studio and working on an album that felt like it had been a long time coming.
He had been the first of the group to have children, a bouncing baby boy that looked as if he’d been plucked straight from a childhood photo of himself, and it was one of the best things that had ever happened to him - tied for first with meeting and marrying you. He loved being a husband and a father and, though he sometimes felt a little anxious in both roles, he felt like they were roles he was born to play. Spending Sunday making pancakes or going to the park, having dinner together around the table and listening as your son told him about his day, having family movie nights all piled into bed together as you all giggled at the latest Disney cartoon he’d grown obsessed with, and getting to experience all the little things that came with being a father and husband made him happier than anything else ever had.
And that happiness had only increased when your daughter was born nearly a year and a half ago.
Ashton loved your son more than anything but your little girl had him wrapped around her finger and he knew that he was in for a world of trouble when she got old enough to use her adorable eyes and precious pout to her advantage. She looked like the spitting image of you, just as he’d hoped, and he couldn’t imagine his life any other way.
When he returned home from the studio, exhausted and desperate for a hot shower and a kiss from the three loves of his life, Ashton was expecting to find all of you curled up on the couch. He hadn’t missed dinner by much and had made sure not to miss bedtime at all, however, the living room was empty and the only light on downstairs was one in the hallway that you started leaving on for him when you first moved into the house so many years ago and late nights had been a staple of his life.
Ashton left his jacket and boots downstairs and, after locking up and turning off the lights, climbed the stairs to find you lying in bed with your son’s head in your lap and your baby girl lying on your chest, her face nuzzled into your neck as she dozed, watching Robin Hood for the millionth time that week.
He stood in the doorway for a moment, just watching, and smiled at the sight before him. It was everything he longed to see, a perfect moment, and it made his heart ache in the best possible way as he watched you gently brush your fingers through your son’s sandy blonde hair. Seeing you like that, so happy and at peace with your babies, made the dull desire he’d had to have one more child, another brother or sister for them both to love and you both to cherish, turn into a burning need. Motherhood looked good on you, just as fatherhood did on him, and he felt the desire to bring one more life into the world to add to the love that was already overflowing in your household.
He remained still for a moment, a soft smile on his lips as he watched, and likely would’ve stayed in place had your son not turned his head and caught sight of him standing in the doorway. He was good, mindful of the sleeping baby in your arms, and waited for Ashton to cross the room and pull him into his arms after he’d climbed onto the bed beside you. No words were said, only a tight hug from his son and a soft kiss from you, as he settled in where he belonged.
The four of you sat quietly, your son and daughter sleeping peacefully, as the film played on but Ashton paid it no mind. All he could think about was the want to have another child, just one more. He knew that you both agreed that all you wanted was a happy family, regardless of the number, but three little Irwins seemed like a solid number to him. Not too many, not too few. A happy medium for everyone. And with your daughter pushing a year and a half and your son pushing five, the timing felt right.
With you, he’d never had to beat around the bush or sugar coat his feelings so he blurted, “I want to do this again,” as he brushed his fingers through your son’s hair.
“Movie night?” you questioned, your mind hazy with sleep as you blinked up at him. “We end up doing it almost every night, bub.”
“No,” Ashton clarified with a laugh as he realized you were right, most nights ended with the four of you in your king sized bed, watching movies, “have another baby.”
You wanted to say that you were surprised, that his desire to have a third child was something you hadn’t seen coming, however, that would’ve been a lie. He’d been giving subconscious clues for weeks, so subtle you didn’t think he was even aware of them, and you’d been waiting for him to tell you about his desire. It was something you’d thought about yourself, a small desire that existed in the back of your mind and grew in intensity every time you picked up a baby bootie or a bottle that your daughter was growing too big for.
Parenthood was something that you and Ashton both adored more than anything. Your children meant the world to you both and you knew that you had more than enough love for a third, that your two babies would love to have another brother or sister to love as they already loved one another so deeply, and there was nothing to consider.
“I do, too. You know what they say, good things come in threes.”
So here is the next installment of the Second Baby series - Mara finding out about the new arrival! I’m not sure how happy I am with how this turned out, but hopefully it’s better than I think. Feedback is appreciated as always! Thanks for all the love on this series so far 🥰
Word count: 3.5k
1. Finding Out
“Have you got everything, Mara?”
Calum checks her backpack, full of the necessities for Luke and his partner to take care of Mara for a few hours. You were yet to tell anyone else of your pregnancy; just a sweet, exciting little secret between the two of you. Calum sleeps with a warm hand over your stomach, his fingertips finding a home under his t-shirt that you stole to sleep in. You’d finally got a doctor’s appointment for your first scan, to make sure everything is okay – it felt like so long since you first took the test, even though it had only been a few weeks.
You hand her stuffed elephant to her, knowing she’d be upset if she left it behind. It’s worn and well loved, after going everywhere with Mara for the past almost four years. It had been covered in food, ended up in the pool, and been through the wash more times than you could count, but Mara still loves it.
“Yep,” Mara perches on the edge of the bottom step whilst Calum ties her shoelaces. It was something he had been trying to teach her for a little while, but she was taking her time trying to get her head around it. If you were in a rush, she’d happily just let you or Calum do it. “Will you come back soon?”
Calum nods in response, finishing her laces before dropping a kiss to her forehead. “We’ll only be gone for a few hours, okay? You’re going to have lots of fun with Uncle Luke and Delilah, honey. You might even be able to take Petunia for a walk.”
With Luke and his partner becoming parents to Delilah in the week following you finding out about your own baby, Calum felt bad asking him to babysit when they had their own family to take care of. Luke had waved his concern off though, of course, reassuring him that Mara was always welcome at their home, no matter how busy he was. If anything, you and Calum were just curious to know how Mara was around Delilah. It would be an indication of her reaction to your own news.
You worried your own nerves had rubbed off on Mara, as she seemed a little anxious about going to Luke’s, when she’d usually be excited. She didn’t know you were going to the doctors. Luke didn’t know either. Mara isn’t the biggest fan of the doctor, and you know it would only worry her more if she knew that was where you were going.
Something you were trying to keep in mind was how much of her environment Mara absorbed. The night you found out you were pregnant, she knew you were sick, and your morning (or, all day,) sickness hadn’t let up since then. You didn’t want to scare her, and things would make much more sense once she knew about the baby. Calum had taken over most mealtimes in case her food made you queasy, and you were unsure of how much she noticed.
“Okay, lets go,” You take her hand in yours as Calum locks the house, helping her into her car seat so you can head to Luke’s. During the short journey she points out what she can see along the way, as well as singing along to whatever was on the radio. “Oh look, Mara! There’s the baby.”
You spot Luke standing in his doorway with Delilah in his arms, the sweet three-week-old baby curled up in his hold. Seeing Delilah just makes you more excited for your own new arrival – that you get to have a newborn all over again.
“Lilah!” Mara exclaims, running up to Luke and wrapping her arms around his legs in a sweet hug. Luke’s free hand lands on her head, hugging her back the best he can with Delilah in his arms. “Hi Uncle Luke!”
“Hi, sweetheart,” He greets her, moving out of the way so she can step inside.
“Thanks for watching her today,” You tell him, lightly brushing your hand over Delilah’s hair in a silent greeting, careful not to wake her. “You’re brave taking on another child with a newborn in the house.”
“I told you, anytime. I’m an expert now anyway,” He jokes, rocking Delilah in his arms as he speaks to keep her settled. “Where are you headed to?”
Calum answers before you have the chance to. “We just have an appointment to go to.”
It wasn’t that you didn’t want Luke to know — more just that you were determined to keep it between the two of you for a little longer. The doctor’s appointment would provide the reassurance you were looking for, but you wanted Mara to be the next to know.
“Okay, we’ll be back to pick you up in a few hours, Mara.” You lean down to kiss her cheeks, saying goodbye before standing up again. “Be good.”
“I will.” She replies, hugging Calum before the two of you head back to the car. “Bye bye.”
***
“So, you’re around 8 weeks?”
You nod at the doctor’s question, a trembling hand held tightly in Calum’s as you lay on the bed. His thumb rubs soothing circles over the back of your hand, trying to ground you.
“I think so, yeah. If we worked it out right.” You reply, biting your lip from nerves as the doctor nods in response. The anxiety of the first few weeks of a pregnancy would never go away; it was difficult to keep a secret but would be even more difficult to tell them devastating news if it came. It was safer this way, and you enjoyed being in the happy little baby bubble with Calum for a while.
“Okay, we’ll be able to tell in a moment.” She informs you, before asking you to lift your jumper so she can get to your stomach. “Sorry, this will be cold. Is this your first baby?”
You shake your head, a smile on your lips as you think of Mara. “No, it’s our second. We have a three-year-old daughter.”
“Aww, how lovely. Is she excited to be a big sister?”
“We haven’t told her yet,” Calum replies. “But we’re hoping she will be.”
Calum lifts your intwined fingers to his lips, brushing a soft kiss over your knuckles to distract you as the nurse squeezed the gel over your lower stomach. You shivered at the sensation, laying your head back on the bed as you tried to relax. It felt like a lifetime as the nurse ran the doppler over your barely there bump, waiting to hear the sound that every parent loves so much.
“So, there’s not too much to see since you’re so early on, but there…” She points to the screen, a small flicker in the centre of the screen, the first sight you and Calum got of your baby. “There’s the baby. And if you hold on a second...”
Tears spring to your eyes as you gaze at the screen. It’s not much, but they’re there, and it’s a relief that everything seems to be okay.
“Look at that,” Calum murmurs, chuckling as his other hand wipes the tears from your cheeks. “There they are.”
The nurse flicks a switch on her machine and suddenly, the room is filled with the whooshing sound of your baby’s heartbeat.
“There we go,” The nurse smiles at the healthy sounding heartbeat, confirming that everything is okay. It’s the sound you’d never get tired of – making everything suddenly feel very real, like there’s definitely another baby growing inside of you. “Everything looks and sounds great. Would you like some photos printing?”
“Yes please.” You reply, unable to focus on anything other than the tiny dot on the screen that would soon grow into your baby that you would raise and love. Calum couldn’t help but get emotional too – it doesn’t feel like anytime at all since you were here to have your scan with Mara, and now she’s almost four. It makes him realise how much she’s grown, and how nervous he is to tell her about the new baby in case she got upset. He couldn’t bear the thought of her being sad, especially since it would be such a huge change to her life.
***
“Uncle Luke, can we do some drawing please?”
Mara looks up from her plate at her place at the dinner table, where she had been eating her lunch, made by Luke’s partner.
“Sure, sweetheart. Let me just put Delilah down and then I’ll get the pens out, okay?” Luke answers, moving Delilah’s moses basket into the kitchen with his free hand, so he could watch her. He stands and rocks Delilah for a moment, making sure she was sound asleep before setting her down in the crib.
“Delilah is little,” Mara comments, watching as Luke tucks Delilah in, stroking over her light tufts of hair to soothe her as she settles.
“She is, honey.” Luke chuckles at her comment. “You used to be as little as Delilah too. You used to fall asleep on me like she does.”
“Really?” She exclaims, and Luke smiles at the wonder on her face. He loves watching Mara grow up and learn about the world, and answer as many of her endless questions as he can. She had been inquisitive ever since she could talk – “why?” being one of the first words that she learned. He sees so much of Calum in her. He’d always catch her just sitting quietly, taking in her surroundings – always observing without saying much. He sometimes wonders what she thinks so deeply about in her three-year-old mind, and he usually finds out when she asks her questions. “Did I cry as much as she does?”
Luke laughs again at her question.
“Sometimes,” He replies, having just settled Delilah from crying for a good ten minutes. Mara had seemed unbothered, distracted by his partner making her lunch, but she clearly had paid attention to it. “All babies cry a lot because they can’t talk and tell you what’s wrong. Once you were on the tour bus with us, and you cried all night because you didn’t want to go to sleep.”
Now it’s Mara’s turn to laugh at him. She clasps her hand over her mouth and giggles, clearly finding the story very entertaining as Luke gets out the pens and paper he has stored for her visits.
“What do you want to make?” He asks her, hoping it’s not anything too creative – he once tried to do origami with her, but in his new-dad sleep deprived state, he’s not sure how well it will go.
“I wanna make a card for mum,” She says, a concerned furrow of her eyebrows as she speaks. Luke notices how she wrings her hands together as she talks, a sign that she’s usually nervous about something. “Her tummy has been poorly.”
Luke pauses for a moment, wondering if that has anything to do with the appointment you had gone to, his mind filled with questions.
“Oh, has it? How?” He asks, and he’s not sure how much she knows, yet he’s worried that something is wrong.
“She gets sick when she wakes up.” Mara responds, and it tells Luke everything he needs to know.
Morning sickness?
Suddenly Luke feels as though he knows what’s going on, but he can’t be certain, and it doesn’t seem like Mara knows anything more. “I think that’ll be nice, honey. I’m sure your mum will love that.”
She’s quiet as she colours, needing Luke’s help to draw out the letters to spell ‘Mum.’ He notices she’s getting better at staying in the lines, considering her age. Luke thinks back to the day you, Calum and Mara met Delilah, how Calum’s eyes lit up when his partner asked about a second baby. He hadn’t thought anything of it at the time, but now from what Mara had said, it makes sense.
It’s not too long before there’s a knock at the door, and you and Calum are back to pick her up.
Mara is too focused on her drawing to pay attention to you speaking to Luke’s partner, her tongue sticking out in concentration. Calum sneaks up behind her, but doesn’t want to scare her, especially if it could ruin her drawing.
“Hey, you.” Calum taps her shoulder gently and her head snaps up, turning around at the sound of his voice. “What are you up to?”
“Hi, daddy!” She squeals as he picks her up, hugging her against his body as she wraps her legs around his waist. “I made this card for mum.”
“That’s so sweet, baby, do you want to give it to her?” He replies, knowing you’ll be joining them in a moment. He’s not sure of how much she’s told Luke, or if he knows anything at all.
You exaggerate a gasp as you spot the card in her hand. “Is that for me, baby?”
“Yes, for you!” She exclaims, handing the card to you from her spot on Calum’s hip.
Luke decides to pry as much as he can without overstepping.
“Oh yeah, Mara mentioned you’ve been sick in the mornings, are you okay?” He asks, a smirk on his lips as if he knows that you’re both going to understand his prods.
His question catches you off guard, knowing Mara had told him so innocently – yet it’s given Luke a huge hint as to what’s going on. Calum looks down at his docs and clears his throat, avoiding eye contact with Luke. “Oh, I’m fine, I’ve just had a stomach bug recently.”
Luke nods but narrows his eyes at you, and you change the topic of conversation before it can go any further.
“I think it’s about time we get you home, hey?”
***
“What if she gets upset?”
Calum sighs at your words and presses a kiss to your hairline, watching as you rub your thumb over the scan photo in your hand. The day had come to finally tell Mara about the new addition to your family, and you were nervous. You couldn’t bear the thought of your sweet daughter getting upset about such a big change to her life.
“We have lots of time for her to get used to it, honey.” Calum reassures you, his fingers grazing over the small, slightly raised bump under his palm. It wasn’t much, nothing that anyone outside of you and him would notice, if you looked close enough. It was small enough that Mara wouldn’t know any different, but you didn’t know how long it would stay that way. “The sooner we tell her, the more time she has to adjust. I don’t think she’s capable of being angry at you.”
You relax into him for a second, your head pressed against his chest as he holds you in the soft comfort of your bed. Mara is still asleep as far as you’re aware – there had been no sign of her calling for you from down the hall or joining you in your bed for a morning cuddle. You thought that a good time to tell her would be after breakfast, so she’d had time to wake up properly.
“I’ll go get breakfast started,” Calum murmurs, brushing his lips over the spot behind your ear. “Meet you downstairs. Stop worrying, okay? It’s going to be fine.”
You lay in the bed for a moment, taking a deep breath, before heading down the hall to get Mara up.
“Mara, honey, can we talk to you?”
Mara looks up from her toys, still comfortable in her pyjamas as she plays for a little while after breakfast. You’re cosy on the sofa, a throw strewn over your legs, as Calum sits next to you. His hand slips into yours, squeezing gently to ground you. Mara hops onto the sofa, snuggling in between the two of you, so you can talk to her.
“So, you know how Uncle Luke and your auntie have Delilah now?” Calum starts and she nods, waiting until you continue. “Well, how would you feel if we have another baby, to live here with us? And you got to be a big sister?”
She furrows her eyebrows in confusion, like she didn’t quite understand what was going on.
“I have a baby in my tummy, Mara.” You smile, giving her a minute to take in what you were telling her, as Calum runs his hand up and down her back, in a comforting gesture. “Do you want to see?”
You pull out the scan photo and set it in front of her, so she can see for herself. “They’re very small for now, but look, that’s the baby,” you tell her, pointing to the small blob in the middle of the photo.
“A baby?” She asks, her big, brown eyes gazing up at you. You nod, brushing her curls out of her face.
“Yeah, sweetheart. How do you feel about that? Are you happy?” You ask her, unable to tell how she was feeling.
“Yeah,” She replies, a small smile on her lips, but it doesn’t reach her eyes like her usual happy smile does. She sits quietly for a moment, her feet swinging against the edge of the sofa. “When will the baby be here?”
“Not for quite a while, honey. So, we have lots of time to get ready, okay?” Calum reassures her, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “It’s okay if you’re not excited right now, we know it’s a big change for you, but you’ll be able to help us with the baby as much as you want. They’re going to love you so much, little moon.”
She nods, her eyes not leaving the scan photo in your hand as she observes it. You notice her eyes are lined with tears, and you’re unsure whether it’s from being sad or just overwhelmed by the information. Your heart aches at her not being as excited as you had hoped for her to be.
“They’ll be just like Delilah, baby, but they’ll live here with us so you can cuddle them whenever you like.” You tell her, hoping it’ll help her to warm up to the idea. “You’ll be such a good sister, bub.”
Calum thinks about his relationship with Mali, his own sister – how he loves to have an older sibling to look up to, and he knows Mara will be that for the new baby. He had always wanted a big family, so Mara always has someone around, like he did with Mali. Even if she doesn’t seem to be excited now, he knows she’ll warm up to the idea eventually.
“So the baby is in your tummy?” She asks, looking at your hoodie covered middle, as if she was trying to see. “Is that why your tummy has been funny?”
You sit up, lifting your hoodie so she can look at your stomach, even though there’s not much of a bump to see yet.
“Yeah, honey, right in there,” You point to the middle of your stomach. “And they’ll keep growing until they’re ready to be born. My bump will look like your aunties did, with Delilah. And yeah, the baby made me sick, that’s why it was funny, but it’s okay.”
“That’s not very nice of the baby.” She frowns, concern in her eyes as she looks up at you.
Calum chuckles at her words. “It’s not the baby’s fault, honey. They’re just trying to grow, and that’s what makes mum sick.”
She reluctantly cuddles into your side and places her hand over the middle of your stomach, patting the spot tentatively. “Aww, you’re so sweet Mara. Are you okay?
Calum’s gaze catches yours and you share a look, both reassured that the fear of telling her was over – yet you can’t help but feel anxious about her reaction. You know she isn’t yet truly happy, since you know how she is when she’s happy, and it’s not as quiet as she’s being right now.
“Can I go back and play now?” She asks, and you nod, kissing her cheek and holding her for just a moment longer.
“Of course, Mara. Love you so much, okay? Having another baby doesn’t change that, I promise. You’ll always be our first baby.” You brush your pointer finger over her cheek as she looks at you, waiting for you to finish talking before she nods, sliding off the sofa with a “love you, mumma” before she goes back to her games.
Calum shifts closer to you, knowing she didn’t react how you had hoped. You hide your face in his neck, trying to hide your own eyes filling with tears as his fingertips smooth up and down your back.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” He murmurs quietly, so only you can hear. “She’ll come around, I promise.”
Here is a blurb I started just after Calum did the live stream above, that I never got around to finishing until now! Calum introducing Mara on a live stream for the first time. Feedback is always appreciated, so please let me know what you think here!
“Hello hello.”
Calum tightened his grip on the bundle in his his left arm and grabbed his phone with the right; greeting the growing viewer count as he started his live stream. The sun was shining through the kitchen windows, making his lack of sleep a little more bearable, as much as his eyes were burning with the tiredness. The sweet baby cuddled in his arms helped make it feel less terrible, too.
“How is everyone doing? We’ll wait for a few more people to join.” He stepped outside and headed to the plush garden furniture at the other side of the pool. The sun felt wonderful on his skin. He chuckled as the tiny baby in his arms squinted at the sun, wriggling in his grasp to adjust to the light. She curls her face against his t-shirt, trying to hide from the light. “Sorry, sweetheart. We’ll sit in the shade so you can open your eyes.”
“I just wanted to come on here to chat for a while, and I wanted to introduce you to someone.” Calum told the audience through his phone, getting settled on the sofa and propping his phone up against a coffee cup. He lifts Mara up so she’s tucked in the cradle of his arms, one hand supporting her back, her legs tucked up beneath her. His other hand cups her cheek, blocking her face from the brightness of the sun, so she can open her eyes to look up at him. “There you are, baby. Is that better? Can you see me now?”
The comments became impossible to read at the speed that people were sending them; all more than excited to meet the baby curled up in his arms. It was the first time Calum had showed your daughter to the world properly, which the fans were understandably excited about. Duke wasn’t far behind; he jumped up to sit next to the two of them, sniffing around the blanket as he was still trying to adjust to the new member of the family.
“This is Mara,” He started, lifting her up against his chest and supporting her head so she was shielded from the sun. She was barely the size of half of his chest, her soft dark hair resting just below Calum’s shoulder as he held her. “She’s nearly a week old now. Spends most of her time sleeping on me like this, or eating. That’s about all she does so far.”
She cuddles against him, content to be held in anyway as he talks, keeping one hand smoothing circles over her back. “Guys, if you could just comment one by one, that would make things much easier. Maybe work out some kind of system between yourselves,”
He laughs at his own comment, followed by shaking his head at how sleep deprived he is — his own eyes struggling to adapt to the sun after spending more time awake during the night than the day for the past week. “Alright guys… I’ll take a few more questions, and then I’ll have to go.”
Mara wriggles against his shoulder, trying to get comfortable as Calum repositions her. He moves her from his chest into the cradle of his arms, ensuring her head is supported in the crook of his elbow as he rocks her. She yawns, stretching her small body before relaxing once more, nuzzling her face into the soft material of his t—shirt.
“That was a big yawn! Are you sleepy again, sweetheart? I know you haven’t quite got a hang of this whole sleeping thing yet,” He murmurs to her, his thumb brushing over the apple of her cheek, her leaning to his soft touch, even in her sleep. “She’s lazier than Duke, guys. I think she sees him napping all the time and thinks ‘yeah, I should take a nap too.’”
After absentmindedly chatting to his audience, it’s not long before he spots you in the door leading to the garden, shaking a bottle of milk in your hand as if to look where he is with Mara.
“You’re gonna have to wake up, honey, it’s dinner time before you go back to sleep,” He tells her, not realising the time and that she was due to be fed. “Well, guys, I’m gonna head off. Thanks for joining me, hopefully I’ll be back on here again soon.”
He ends the live, standing up with Mara in his arms, making sure he’s got her blanket before he’s heading to where you are. He bounces her as he walks, talking to her quietly. “Come on, baby, you have to wake up.”
“I knew she’d fall asleep on you again,” You tell him, wrapping your arms around his waist, able to look at Mara in the process. You smooth your thumb over her forehead, brushing the dark tufts of hair away from her as she relaxes into your touch. He moves the blanket, kissing her forehead before letting you take her into your own hold, so you can feed her. “Daddy’s cuddles are just too nice, huh? I know how you feel, bubs.”
Calum’s smile doesn’t falter as he watches you with her — the way you cradle her against your chest, speaking ever so softly to her about him — it makes his heart melt. When you ask him softly “are you joining us?” he can’t imagine saying no, wanting nothing more to be with the two of you, soaking in the early days of Mara’s life.
“Of course,” He replies, sitting down next to you on the sofa, an arm around your shoulder as a reminder of his presence, along with wanting to be physically close in any way he can. As he watches Mara slowly fall asleep as she eats, looking as content as ever in the cradle of your arms, he can’t help but ask “I think we’re doing okay, don’t you?”
When he’s met with a nod, it tells him everything he needs to know. Brushing his lips over your temple, he can’t remember a time where he’s felt more comfortable, more complete in his whole life. He knows this is it — this is home.
So here is a new little family for Luke! I’ve been wanting to introduce Luke and Delilah for a little while but wasn’t too sure how to, but then the inspo for this came from this Tiktok & a conversation with @calumrose, so I thought why not start here! I’m open to any requests for this little world so, let me know if you have any here. As always, feedback is appreciated!
Luke runs a towel over his wet curls, fluffing them up a little the way he always does — drying off after a shower, when the sound of happy giggles catches his attention. It’s a sound he’s used to — one he doesn’t want to forget, and it brings a smile to his face as he stands and listens to it.
He’s not sure exactly what’s making her laugh — it seems like these days, everything gets a giggle from her. She’s in a stage where even just yours or Luke’s presence gets a smile, and he loves it. Even when it’s 3:00am and he feels as though he hasn’t slept for weeks — there’s nothing that makes him happier than seeing her smiley face.
Leaving the bathroom, he pulls a hoodie over his head, concealing his messy hair before he enters your shared bedroom. The sight he’s met with is one that makes his heart ache with the happiness it brings — you sat at the vanity, in the middle of getting ready for the day, when Delilah had obviously decided to join in. She’s sat on your knee, looking in the mirror just as you were, fascinated by the mascara wand in your hand.
“Ah!” The curious sound slipping from her lips makes Luke’s smile even bigger as he watches her reach out for the wand, her little eyebrows furrowing when you pull it away from her chubby hands.
“Nu-uh, baby,” You chuckle, quickly brushing the mascara through your eyelashes, managing a fine coat before she tries to grab it again. She’s also at an age where everything is brand new and exciting — she wants to get her hands on anything she can, putting things in her mouth too — you have to have your eyes on her at all times to make she’s sure she’s not getting into trouble. “I know, I know, I’m so mean. You’re not meant to hate me until you’re a teenager.”
Luke stands and watches the two loves of his life for a moment, before he makes his presence known — stepping into your bedroom and telling you, “I don’t think she’s capable of hating anyone, especially not you.”
“Da!” His second favourite noise escapes the sweet girl as she spots him, the nine month old standing up in your lap to reach up for him.
“Hi, sweetheart.” He greets her, brushing his fingers through her unruly blonde curls as she smiles up at him. You set your makeup down, zipping up the cosmetic bag so her mischievous hands can’t get into it. “Someone’s in a happy mood today, huh?”
“Can you watch her whilst I get dressed?” You ask, met with a nod from him, before handing her over and going to get changed. Luke sits down where you were a moment ago, setting her down in his lap, making sure she can’t slip out of his arms.
“Where has all this energy come from, bubs? Did you have a good nap?” He asks, trying to keep a good hold on her whilst she wriggles in his arms, trying to grab your makeup bag and brushes whilst you’re not looking. He wraps one arm around her stomach, holding her there, before she reaches out for a fluffy brush. “Okay, okay, I know what you want.”
He knows she’s not meant to get into your makeup, so to occupy her, he grabs the brush she was trying to get — taking it in his hand and sweeping it over her chubby cheeks. She giggles in response, turning to hide her face against his neck so he’d stop tickling her.
“I got you,” He teases, tickling her sides and under her chin, laughing himself at the response he gets as her happy giggles fill the room. You smile to yourself as you hear them from the next room, knowing whatever he’s doing is getting a happy response from her. “Is that funny?”
He gives her a moment to calm down, kissing her cheeks and looking at her through the mirror, asking her “who’s that, baby? Is that you? Who’s that beautiful girl?”
He takes one of the smaller, clean brushes and gently sweeps it over her eyes, met with more giggles and little hands trying to take it away from him as he talks to her. “I know you want mama’s makeup on, baby, but look!”
He cuddles her tight, keeping her attention focused on where he was looking at her in the mirror, brushing his lips over her forehead as she sits there. “You’re already so beautiful, that you don’t need to put it on!”
Luke ends the sentence with a flood of kisses, making a dramatic “mwah” noise as he pecks her cheeks and face, keeping her entertained as she tries to push him away. “and I’ve tried telling mum that she doesn’t need it either,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her pouty lips. “But if it makes her happy, then that’s okay.”
“Maybe one day you can do daddy’s makeup, baby,” He tells her, knowing she has no idea what he’s saying, but interacting with her all the same. “Can I have a kiss?”
A question she does recognise — she sits up on her knees, reaching up to his lips with a soft (and sloppy, since she doesn’t quite know how to kiss yet) “mwah!”
“Thank you, baby, you’re so sweet.” He thanks her, standing up with her in his arms, trying to think of how to entertain her next. When he’s away on tour or at the studio, these are the moments he misses — the everyday moments where he bonds with her and gets to do the little things, like make her laugh. “Should we have a snack? Let’s go quick, before mum sees us.”
As he carries her downstairs, her babbling on his hip — he can’t help but think about how grateful he is for his sweet little family, who bring him more happiness than he could ever imagine.
So here it is — part two to Missing Piece! This is officially the longest fic that I have ever written. I put so so much into this as people seemed to enjoy the first part so much, so I hope I did it justice! I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has sent me kind & encouraging messages about this — I don’t think i’ve ever had such an amazing response to a fic like that before, so it means the world to me! Also, a huge thank you to @calumrose for putting up with me rambling about nothing but this for the past three days, and reading it over and over everytime I added another line! I would LOVE to get some feedback on this, so please let me know your thoughts ♥️
Word count: 12,635
Bella had been home for just over a week.
It had been a long nine days of sleepless nights and adjusting to each other, in more ways than one. You and Luke had been thrown into the role of first time parents, but not with a newborn — instead with a 14 month old. Bella was confused. It was as if she didn’t understand that she lived with you and Luke now; that your house was her home. She wasn’t comfortable just yet.
She didn’t like being held for too long, she would never openly indicate that she wanted affection. She would push away from you and Luke if you tried to hold her or comfort her when she cried. You’d usually have to wait until she crashed somewhere in the house before cautiously carrying her up to bed. Yet, if she woke up in her crib, she would cry for attention until you or Luke brought her into bed with the two of you. It made sense — she was in an unfamiliar house, with people she was unsure of. You had to remember that it was a big adjustment for her, as well as for you and Luke.
She just wanted to know that you were there.
It was exhausting. Getting very little sleep during the night was having an effect on all three of you during the day. Luke had taken a few weeks away from the studio in order to be at home to support you and be there for Bella. She needed to get to know you both as her parents.
“What time did Sarah say she would be here?” Luke asked, slumped against the cushions of the sofa. He had his eyes on Bella, sitting up on her play mat on the floor. They had been up since 5:00am, after having only several hours of sleep — the new normal in your household.
He was tired, and so was she. He promised he could watch her whilst you caught up on sleep. You had worked out a system where you’d take shifts in the morning; one of you would watch her for a few hours whilst the other slept. It worked as it meant at least one of you was running on more than three hours sleep.
It won’t be like this forever.
At least that’s what you had read on countless adoption discussion forums, in the middle of the night when you couldn’t sleep. You just needed some kind of reassurance that Bella was going to be okay. Even though it had only been a week, it felt like much longer — and so far, things weren’t easing up.
“I think around lunch.” You replied, tapping on the screen of your phone to check the time. It seemed to lose all meaning now that night and day were practically the same.
There was a moment of silence before Luke asked, “Are you nervous about it?”
You watched as Bella reached out for her stuffed bear on the floor, before rubbing her eyes. Two clear signs she was tired. Signs that Sarah knew too.
“I just don’t want her to think we’re doing something wrong,” You sighed. Luke held his arm out against the back of the sofa, gesturing for you to lay against him. You happily obliged, the familiar scent and warmth of his body providing comfort that you needed in the moment. “She’s so tired. I don’t want Sarah to think we aren’t taking care of her.”
“I know what you mean.” Luke nodded in agreement. It was good to have him going through the same process as you — there was never a time where he made you feel unreasonable, or as though you couldn’t tell him how you felt. “But you know Sarah told us none of this was going to be easy. She’s done this before, she knows it takes much longer than a week for her to settle in.”
The rational part of your brain knew he was right.
Sarah would still be visiting for the foreseeable future; you and Luke weren’t able to apply for the adoption order to officially adopt Bella until she had lived with you for at least ten weeks. Until then, Sarah was still partly legally responsible for Bella as well as you and Luke. It seemed like a long time, but at this rate, you were grateful to have her ongoing support.
“I’ll go put her down.” Luke moved cautiously. He kissed your cheek in a gesture of reassurance before lifting Bella up, praying that she would stay asleep until he put her down. Cradling her in his arms, he looked at her face as she slept. Her soft, rosy cheeks sucked on the pacifier between her lips as she slept — one of the things that always helped her calm down. She felt warm against his t-shirt. It made his heart ache that she wasn’t comfortable with the two of you yet. She looked so calm; it made him forget about the hours that she spent crying that kept him up at night.
Luke went through the motions of what he usually did when putting her down for a nap. He had spent far too long researching different ways to help her adjust to him, and to her new home. One of the things that was meant to help was surrounding her with familiar items that would remind her of you and/or him, and since he found this — he let her sleep with his well worn cream Friends of Friends hoodie. It was soft and smelt like him. He grabbed it from the chair in the corner of your bedroom (one that often turned into his laundry pile, no matter how many times you told him to not do that) and set it down in her crib. He held onto her a little tighter for a moment — it felt nice to hold her without her pushing away from him, which she often did. The rejection from her made his heart ache, when all he wanted to do was love her and have her love him back.
“Sleep tight, bubs.” He whispered to her, being gentle as he set her down on top of his hoodie. She stirred for a moment, burying her face in the soft material and pulling her stuffed bear closer to her as she got comfortable. He felt relieved when she curled up into a ball and stayed asleep. It was then Luke noticed Petunia had followed him upstairs; she flopped at the end of your shared bed, ready to watch Bella as she slept. She had become very protective over Bella in the past week, even though she hadn’t warmed up to Petunia yet.
Luke knelt down at the foot of the bed, squishing Petunia’s cheeks in his hands like he always did.
“Don’t wake her up, piggy.” He murmured to her, kissing the top of her head before quietly leaving the room. He hadn’t heard the knocking at the door whilst he was upstairs, but when he got back to the lounge, he found Sarah sitting on the sofa — warm mug of tea in her hands and the same kind smile on her face that he had seen at every encounter with her.
“Hi, Luke. It’s good to see you! I’m looking forward to catching up.” Sarah greeted him, standing up to wrap him in a hug. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look just as tired as your lovely other half does.”
“No offence taken,” He replied, knowing the bags under his eyes were a clear indication of his lack of sleep over the past week. “It’s good to see you too. We have a lot to catch you up on.”
“So I hear.” She sat back down on the sofa as you joined the two of them, handing a drink to Luke as well as holding your own. “So, how has she been? Fill me in. Please don’t feel like you have to hold back, I hope you know that i’m not here to judge you. I know it’s tough at first.”
“She hasn’t been sleeping, well, at all really.” You began, your tired mind trying to recall everything from the past week. “It’s been really hard to comfort her too, she pushes away from us when she’s upset and we try to hold her.”
Sarah nodded as you spoke.
“You might be relieved to know that those behaviours are completely normal,” She replied, offering you a comforting smile. “I was expecting you to say that. It’s all part of the process — she’s probably not sure that you can comfort her yet, which is why she’s so reluctant.”
Luke sighed in relief at her words. It was nice to get reassurance from someone who knew Bella so well — who had cared for her pretty much since she was born. Time was so important in this situation. He just needed to be patient.
“It’s hard for her to understand that she lives here now,” Sarah continued to explain. You knew all of these things, yet the difficulties over the past week had clouded your mind. You needed to hear her say it again. “Everything has changed for her. It’s a huge adjustment. I know you know this, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded. Please don’t think you’re doing anything wrong.”
“It’s really good to hear that.” Luke ran a hand through his curls as he spoke. “We’ve just been really worried that she’s sad or feels unsafe.”
“I know you’re probably sick of hearing that it takes time, but it really does.”
She listened to all of your worries and fears, letting the two of you get everything out. It felt good to talk to someone other than Luke about them — he listened, but was in the same position as you. He didn’t have the answers that you needed, as much as he wished he did. You talked until the sound of Bella’s cries came through the baby monitor, and Luke jumped up to get her.
“I’ll be right back.”
Luke climbed the stairs, getting closer to the sound of Bella crying and Petunia barking. He knew Petunia was probably trying to help by getting his attention, but he was also sure it scared Bella. Especially when she wasn’t her biggest fan.
“Hey, you’re okay.” He soothed, giving her a minute to wake up before he tried to hold her. Luke had a feeling Sarah was about to see exactly what you’d been talking about. He tried to pick her up the best he could, despite her wriggling and protests to be put down. “Shh, it’s alright Bella. Someone is here to see you.”
He grabbed her necessities; a pacifier and her bear before descending the stairs once more. She was sniffling in his arms, upset like she usually was when she woke up. The pacifier helped a little; the familiarity providing some comfort.
“Look who it is!”
Bella’s eyes lit up as they landed on Sarah. She immediately held her arms out to her, pushing herself away from Luke as she tried so hard to get to Sarah. Luke’s eyes caught yours as you watched Sarah comfort Bella. It was hard to see. She calmed down so quickly and looked so content in her arms. You knew Luke was thinking the same thing.
“Hi, you.” Sarah cuddled her as she clung onto her, as if she didn’t want to let go. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Silence settled over the room. It wasn’t awkward, but the uncomfortable realisation dawned on you and Luke that this was the most content Bella had been since she moved into your home.
“I know what you’re thinking.” Sarah broke the quietness with her words. “This last week is the longest we’ve been apart in her life. Don’t let it discourage you, okay? I promise, you’re doing great.”
Bella got upset once more when Sarah had to leave.
Luke’s heart felt heavy as Sarah attempted to pass her back to him, reassuring her that she was okay and safe to stay with him. She wailed against his shoulder, pushing her arms against his chest as a gesture to be put down.
“Hey, c’mon Bella. You’re okay.” He murmured, patting her back as Sarah left the house. The exhaustion from not sleeping combined with the guilt that ate away at him for how upset Bella was made it more difficult to think rationally. He just didn’t know what to do.
“I think we should just let her feel it out.” You suggested to Luke, a comforting hand rubbing over the spanse of his back and shoulder blades in an attempt to provide some reassurance. Seeing Luke beat himself up everytime he couldn’t calm her down was tough. “She’ll come to us if she needs us.”
“Will she?”
Luke didn’t mean to snap. He was tired. He wanted Bella to stop crying, to not be upset anymore — to want him, and to love him like he loved her.
“It’ll be okay. We’ll come back in a few minutes to check on her, okay?” You reassured him, trying to win over the resistance you could see in his face as he held her. She pushed her little hands against his chest once more, before Luke set her down on the ground. She sat on the floor in front of the front door, looking up at it as to wonder where Sarah had gone.
Luke flopped down on the sofa, running a hand over his face and through his hair. You joined him, resting your hand on his thigh to calm him down.
“Sarah said it’s normal, Lu.” You reminded him, knowing that it was hard to get through to him when he was in a mood like this, but knowing he needed the reminder. “I know it’s taking a long time. We just have to be patient.”
Luke nodded. He understood, and knew you were right — as well as not having the energy to argue.
“It’s only been a week,” You continued, resting your head on his shoulder. “We have a lifetime with her.”
Your words made Luke feel better. He had a lifetime to get to know her, to love her — to be her parent. You sat together in a comfortable silence for a few moments more, thinking about the visit from Sarah, along with how Bella had reacted. She still felt safe with Sarah. It felt a little like a punch to the gut, as the two of you were trying so hard. It wasn’t her fault, though.
It just takes time.
“I’m gonna go get her.” Luke’s lips brushed yours in a sweet kiss before he stood up, stretching out his shoulders and preparing himself for how she might react to him. “We should probably have lunch soon.”
You nodded in acknowledgement, waiting for the cries which usually came whenever either of you tried to comfort Bella. Although, a few moments passed and the tears never came. Luke stepped back into the lounge where you were sat, Bella passed out against his shoulder. She looked content for the time being, her soft cheeks rosy from tears, a small hand clinging onto the neck of Luke’s hoodie.
“I know it’s not nap time but I don’t think we should wake her up.” Luke spoke quietly, his hand gently patting Bella’s back as she slept. The happy moments with her really did make it worth it, knowing she felt comfortable enough to sleep on him did make you think that everything would be okay. She would feel safe eventually. “She probably tired herself out.”
“She looks pretty cosy on you.” You murmured, resting your head on his other shoulder after he sat down next to you. He could feel every emotion through the way you were looking at him — the love, the adoration, the desperation for everything to work out okay. Seeing Luke with your child made your heart swell. It was something you thought you may never get the chance to see, when you found out the two of you would be unable to conceive naturally — something that had laid heavy on your heart. He was meant to be a parent. He had too much love in his heart not to be — especially when you saw the love he had for Michael’s daughter, Harper. You knew it was just meant to happen.
You were Harper’s favourite babysitters; there was many a time she spent the evening with you and Luke, when Michael and his partner needed a night to themselves. Luke never seemed to get bored, happy to go along with any game she wanted him to play, as long as she was happy. He loved her cuddles just as much as she did. By the end of the night, when Michael came to pick her up, he’d usually find her fast asleep, tucked up on Luke’s chest. It always made your heart ache, wondering when or if you’d get to see Luke with your own child.
No wonder how difficult things got with Bella, she was worth it.
She deserved a happy family, one that could show her the love and nurture she had missed out on. She deserved a home, which as you looked at her with Luke, you knew she already had.
***
A few weeks later, you were still taking things a day at a time. Bella was slowly getting more comfortable, and had settled into a more consistent sleeping pattern — meaning you and Luke managed to get some more sleep too.
Things were slowly but surely getting easier.
You were all still learning things about each other. You and Luke were adapting to being parents, to having responsibility for another human life who depended on you for everything. It was also amazing, though. Every smile and happy expression you saw on Bella’s face made everything worth it. She had become much more playful with the two of you — showing more interest in the many toys you had gotten her, as well as making her way through some new books with the two of you. It had become part of her bedtime routine, settled in the rocking chair with either you or Luke whilst you read her a story. It calmed her down before going to sleep.
Something else you were currently working on with her, was getting her to take her first steps — she had started pulling herself up against the sofa or anything else she could reach, standing on wobbly feet until either you or Luke helped her.
“Bella,” Luke called softly from his spot on the floor, where he was sitting cross legged with Petunia resting her head on his knee. Bella had warmed up to Petunia too — she didn’t cry whenever she went near her anymore, and was more comfortable being around her. “Can I have a hug?”
The two of you were slowly trying to get her to be more affectionate. You never pushed her into hugging you or to being held — it was important she had her own space, and that she never felt pressured into being close to you both if she didn’t want to be. You and Luke always made the effort to ask her if she wanted to be held, and if she said no, you didn’t.
She was sitting a metre or so in front of him, a pacifier in her mouth and her teddy bear in her hands as she looked up at him. Her eyes watched him for a moment, recognising his gesture of holding his arms out to her — she’d ignore him if she didn’t want to be close to him. Yet, she seemed to decide against that — pushing herself up on unsteady feet against the sofa, trying to get her balance. You watched their interaction, stood at the door to the lounge to observe. Pulling your phone out, you set it to record — wanting to have the special moment to look back on forever, as well as to show Sarah.
She looked down at her feet and then back up at him, as if she was trying to work out how to get there.
“Should I help her?” Luke asked you, knowing she was unsteady on her feet but also intrigued to see whether she could do it herself.
“Just wait a minute, let’s see what she does.” You replied quietly, not wanting to startle or distract her. She rubbed her eyes, whining softly as she rubbed her cheeks against the soft cushions on the sofa. “I think she’s tired, probably why she wants a hug.”
Luke moved a little closer to her, shuffling so she wouldn’t have as far to get to him. He held his arms out to her, not close enough so she could hold his hands, but not too far that she could fall.
“Come here, angel.” He coaxed her, noticing the apprehension on her face, but also how her eyes kept moving between her feet and him. “You can do it.”
Bella pushed herself away from the sofa, one hand clinging to the edge whilst the other helped her to get her balance. She moved one foot forward, and then the other, before wobbling a little and whining around her pacifier.
“It’s okay, sweet pea. You got it,” Luke soothed her, desperate to reach out and get her, but knowing she needed to do it for herself. She took another, moving forward again before falling into Luke’s arms. “You did it!”
Tears welled in your eyes at the milestone she had achieved. You sat down next to the two of them to join them, placing a hand on her shoulder as Luke cuddled her.
“Bella, you did it! You walked, baby!” You exclaimed, trying to stop the happy tears from falling as you sat with them. “We’re so proud of you.”
She seemed happy with herself, not completely understanding why you and Luke were so excited, but enjoying the attention she was getting from the two of you.
“Hug?” She asked softly, wrapping her arms around Luke’s neck. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing at the sight — her openly asking for affection from Luke really was a huge step. It wasn’t often she spoke, only really doing so when she needed something — so to hear her ask for a hug was a lot.
“Of course, angel.” Luke was overcome with emotion too. He rested his head against hers as she clung to his neck, patting her back to hold her close. “I love you. Thanks for the cuddle.”
You kissed her cheek as well as Luke’s, before standing up to resume making dinner in the kitchen, your heart melting at the events from moments ago. As you stood up, you heard a soft whine from Bella, before a sad “no.” You turned around to look at her, asking a concerned, “what’s wrong, baby?”
“Hug.” She pouted up at you from her spot in Luke’s arms, holding her arms out to you. Luke couldn’t stop the smile on his face — he knew you worried about not bonding with her, about her not seeing you as her parent. Moments like these were so important to all three of you.
You reached down to pick her up, holding her in your arms — close to your chest. She rested her head on your shoulder, wrapping her arms around you like she just did with Luke. It made everything worthwhile, knowing she felt comfortable, safe and loved. You just wanted her to feel the love that you and Luke tried to show to her.
“You’re so sweet, Bella.” You cooed to her, running a hand through her soft curls. It felt so good to have her so close, so content with being held. Luke couldn’t take his eyes away from the two of you, a sense of relief washing over him that things were finally starting to improve, little by little. “Shall we go make some dinner?”
Bella was gradually becoming more open to affection. She seemed much more relaxed, much less sad — her grieving had lessened, but hadn’t completely gone. Luke found himself pacing around your bedroom every so often, letting her cry and process whatever she had going on. Sometimes she wanted to be held, sometimes she just wanted someone to be near her whilst she cried — it really depended on the situation.
Some nights she wouldn’t sleep — it seemed as though she didn’t really know what she wanted when she was in one of those moods. She’d lay in between you and Luke, not really wanting any attention but also not wanting to be alone. You and Luke didn’t sleep on those nights either.
“Bella, shall we read one of your books?” Luke asked quietly, gently setting his hand on her back to get her attention and offer some reassurance. He hoped it would help her sleep. She blinked up at him, sucking harder on her pacifier as she thought about what she wanted. She was so tired, but there was no way she would sleep. She didn’t cry either, but it was hard to know what she wanted.
“I’ll go make her a bottle.” You slipped away quietly, heading to the kitchen to get her some warm milk, hoping it would make her sleepy enough to actually fall asleep. She whined a little as she watched you leave.
“It’s okay, she’s coming back.” Luke soothed her, pushing her soft curls away from her face. She wasn’t really sure of how she felt or what would make her feel better, but yours and Luke’s faces were familiar to her, and she wanted you both around. She seemed to get upset when one of you left the room, no matter what situation you were in. “Shh, you’re alright.”
She laid down in the bed again, rubbing her face against the soft cotton pillowcase. She sniffled and sucked harder on her pacifier, which was one of the only things that brought her comfort. It was familiar to her and it always helped, even just a little. You and Luke had discussed trying to wean her off of it, but it wasn’t the time.
Luke’s heart ached as he looked at her.
She looked as though she was thinking far too much for someone who hadn’t even been alive for two years. She was only a baby, and it broke his heart to know she had felt so much sadness in her life so far. He couldn’t change what she had been through, but he could try to make it better going forward. That was all he wanted to do.
“I know you’re sad, sweet pea. That’s okay.” Luke murmured to her, not knowing whether she really understood what was saying, but wanting to say it anyway. His fingertips gently grazed up and down her pyjama covered back as he spoke. “You’re allowed to be sad. We love you though, okay? You’re so strong.”
She looked up at him as he spoke, like she wanted to hear his voice. There was no expression on her face, but it seemed as though she listened. They sat in a comfortable but somber silence until you returned, a bottle of milk along with a warm blanket in your hands.
“Here we go,” You sat back down in the bed, handing her the soft yellow blanket you had just warmed for a few moments in the dryer. She still wasn’t sure of what she wanted. You tried to hand her the milk too, but she shook her head, not accepting it. You and Luke had learned to be patient in these situations. You just had to go with whatever she wanted, and try not to get frustrated.
She held the blanket against her face, cuddling it close to herself. The warmth made her sleepy, her eyes heavy as she rubbed them. She held her hand out once more, towards the bottle — she decided that she did want it after all. You gave it to her and she took her pacifier out, then started to drink it, before deciding she was too tired and letting it slip out of her mouth.
“I got it.” Luke whispered, picking the warm bottle up from where it had fallen onto the bed. She snuggled up to the pillow and you wrapped the blanket around her, making sure she was comfortable. Luke held the bottle to her mouth, seeing if she did actually want it but was just too sleepy to hold it herself. She accepted it, sucking at the milk as Luke held it for her. “There we go.”
You softly ran your fingertips up and down her arm as she drank the milk, watching as her eyes grew heavier. She didn’t resist the affection — holding her blanket between her fingers and rubbing it against her face. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, her eyes finally closing her and breathing evening out. Luke slipped the pacifier back between her lips, waiting until she took to it before letting go.
“Shall I put her in the crib?” Luke asked, not wanting to risk waking her but knowing she should be sleeping in there, rather than in your bed.
“Not yet,” You replied, shaking your head. It was too soon — she would wake up if he tried to move her now. “Wait until she’s in more of a deep sleep.”
He nodded in agreement. You sat in a peaceful quietness; the soft sound of her breathing being the only one in the room, along with Petunia’s snores from her bed in the corner.
“She’s getting better.” You whispered, realising that it hadn’t taken as long to soothe her as it usually did. She hadn’t cried, she didn’t fight against either you or Luke when you tried to comfort her. It felt like progress. “She’s calming down faster than she used to.”
“It’s good to see.” He murmured, a soft smile on his face. It was reassuring to know she felt safe and was able to calm herself down enough to go to sleep. It meant more to you and Luke than words could describe — you didn’t need to say it. You both knew.
You sat together for a little longer, waiting until Bella was properly asleep before Luke tried to move her to bed. He scooped her up, resting her against her chest — soothing noises spilling from his lips as he tried to keep her asleep. He moved to the crib, rocking her in his arms for a moment before setting her down against the soft sheets.
“Shh, shh.” Luke whispered. She stirred a little, shuffling until she got comfortable before curling up into a ball, falling back asleep. He pushed her hair away from her face, kissing her forehead softly before whispering a quiet, “Goodnight, baby.”
***
Around a month after Bella being at home with you and Luke, the guys were desperate to meet her. It was important that she had time to adjust at home, getting used to living with the two of you before introducing her to anyone else. She had been getting more comfortable everyday, seeming to accept that this was her home now. You were nervous to introduce the guys to her. You didn’t want her to be overwhelmed, but it was important that she felt comfortable around them — it was especially important to Luke. They were his brothers, and he wanted his daughter to feel safe around them.
Bella was sitting in the middle of the living room floor, pushing her trains around the soft carpet, mumbling quiet noises to herself as she played. It was her new favourite game — she’d push them around the house, on any surface that would work, softly imitating the noises that they would make. The noise was something you’d come to hear a lot of, it was almost comforting — to know she was happy and content to play. Occasionally she’d call out a “choo choo!” making yours and Luke’s hearts melt. You had no idea where she had picked it up from — most likely a show Luke sat and watched with her when he got up with her, early in the morning.
“Do you think she’ll be okay?” You asked Luke, watching her from the kitchen as she played happily. She hadn’t been introduced to anyone other than you and him — you had no idea how she would react.
After speaking to Sarah, she had suggested that it would be a good time to introduce her to other people close to you, to see how she felt around them. The boys were a good place to start.
“I dunno,” He replied, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. He really wanted her to be okay. “I hope so, though. She’s been doing really well recently and Sarah said it seemed like a good time, so hopefully it’ll be okay.”
“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Michael was bringing Harper over too — you wanted to know how she would react around another child of a similar age to her. Harper, at the age of three, was around two years older than Bella but they were close enough in age to be able to play together. Harper had missed you and Luke, as you hadn’t been able to see her over the last month or so since Bella came home. Michael had told Luke several times over text that Harper was excited to see him — he had missed her too.
“Hey, guys!” You greeted them at the door when they arrived, Bella’s big brown eyes instantly looking up to the front door. She clutched onto her trains a little tighter, curious as to what was going on. Harper excitedly let go of Michael’s hand and jumped up at Luke, wrapping her arms around his legs.
“Uncle Luke!” She squealed excitedly, holding her arms up at him until he picked her up. “I miss you!”
“I’ve missed you too, sweetheart.” Luke held her on his hip as she happily chatted to him about what she had been up to. Calum, Ashton and Michael followed behind her, greeting you both and following you into the lounge.
“I brought some toys for Bella to play with!” Harper told you both excitedly, gesturing to the backpack hung on Michael’s shoulder.
“Harper,” Michael quietly got his daughter’s attention. “Come here, honey. Remember what we talked about, okay? Bella is a baby and she’s still trying to get used to living here. We don’t want to scare her, okay?”
Harper nodded, the reminder complete with a kiss to her cheek from her dad.
“It’s so weird that you’re parents now.” Calum placed his hand on Luke’s shoulder, in a show of support. “Congratulations again though.”
“Thanks, Cal.” You replied, smiling at him softly. They had all been so supportive throughout the whole process, and them meeting Bella had been a long time coming. “She’s just in here.”
“Bella,” Luke called out, crouching down next to where she was sitting. He was extremely worried about overwhelming her. “Shall we say hi? You have some visitors.”
Bella immediately became shy, her eyes observing the three unfamiliar tall men, along with the three year old girl holding onto Michael’s hand. She stopped pushing the train around in front of her and immediately clutched it to her chest, not knowing how to respond. She looked up at Luke, as if she expected him to know what to do. Ashton, Calum and Michael spread themselves out around the room, sitting apart on the sofa as not to scare her. There had been an extensive FaceTime call the night before, explaining how she was coping at home and how she may react to them— as well as giving them suggestions on how not to overwhelm her. Luke was happy to know they had paid attention.
“Up.” Bella’s voice was quiet as she spoke. She held her arms up to Luke, her gesture for him to pick her up. He did immediately, lips brushing over her temple as she observed the people in front of her.
“It’s okay,” He murmured, patting her back as she sat on his hip. The guys couldn’t hold back their smiles, at seeing Luke as a parent — especially Michael. They had all seen the effect that the whole process had on the two of you, and on your relationship. Michael felt guilty everytime Harper had been around you both, as much as he knew you loved her and how much you wished for a child of your own.
She wrapped her legs around him, ensuring he wouldn’t be able to put her down as small talk ensued between you and the guys. Ashton had started talking about a song he had written that he needed Luke’s expertise for, hoping to get him back in the studio soon. Although, he completely understood why Luke had needed the time away.
“Daddy,” Harper’s soft voice was heard in the room. She sat in Michael’s lap, waiting until he told her it was okay for her to play. “Can I play with the trains?”
“You’ll have to ask Uncle Luke baby, I think they’re Bella’s.” Michael replied, pushing her blonde hair out of her face as she slid off of his knee.
“We can play, honey.” Luke told her, sitting down with Bella in his lap. “Bella, shall we play with your trains with Harper? Let’s show them how we play, huh?”
Harper sat opposite them, picking up the first train she saw in front of her — which so happened to be the one Bella played with the most, her favourite red one. Bella whined in Luke’s arms as she realised, reaching out to take it from Harper.
“Hey, hey,” Luke took her much smaller hands in his, stopping her from snatching it from Harper. He knew she didn’t mean anything badly by it — she wasn’t used to sharing her things with anyone, especially not another child. “That one is her favourite, Harper. We can’t snatch though, okay Bella?”
“Why don’t we play with this one, bubba?” Michael had moved to sit next to his daughter, wanting to intervene to help Luke out. You chatted with Calum and Ashton as they played, as well as watching the interaction between Harper and Bella. You and Luke had been taking notes of her milestones, so you could report them back to Sarah on her next visit.
Bella’s eyebrows furrowed at the girl sitting in front of her, playing with her toys and getting Luke’s attention. She didn’t understand. She didn’t know who these people were, or why they were there, and she still wasn’t sure about them. Luke noticed how unsettled she seemed, her eyes curiously looking around the room as well as at Harper and Michael. She sat in his lap, arms crossed over her stomach in apprehension.
A few moments later, Bella reluctantly took another train and pushed it around in front of her, at an attempt to join in. It seemed like a little bit of progress, even though she barely interacted with the people in front of her. It was then Luke realised she didn’t have her pacifier, which could help to make her feel more content.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” He told her, setting her down on the soft rug to keep playing whilst he quickly went upstairs. He wouldn’t be long, and he knew it would help. You watched Bella as Luke stood up to leave, noticing how her lips formed into a pout and her eyes filled with tears. She stood up on wobbly feet, slowly trailing behind where she had seen Luke go, as if to say — where have you gone?
“Bella, it’s okay baby. He’s coming back.” You reassured her, moving to stand to make sure she didn’t fall. She kept going though, unsteady steps heading to the stairs where she knew Luke had gone. She whined softly from the bottom of the stairs, bottom lip stuck out in a pout as she looked for him.
“I’m here, Bella. Wait there, okay? I’ll be right back.” Luke told her, with a little urgency in his voice — she wasn’t steady enough on her feet to get upstairs, and he couldn’t bear the thought of her hurting herself because she wanted him. Although, he did find it sweet that she sought him out for reassurance. It made him happy that she recognised him as familiar, when she was surrounded by new people.
He grabbed her pacifier from her bedroom, as well as her favourite book and a few other things to keep her occupied. He quickly made his way back down the stairs, his heart melting at the sight of Bella standing up against the bottom step, waiting for him.
“Hey, you.” Luke cooed at her, picking her up and setting her on his hip again. He handed her the pacifier, watching as she slipped it into her mouth, hoping it would make her a little more relaxed. Luke sat in between Ashton and Calum on the sofa, setting Bella down to stand between his legs. She clung to him, her face resting against his stomach as she tried to hide her face.
“Hey, Bella.” Ashton smiled at her, not moving closer to her but wanting to interact with her somehow. She looked up at him, continuing to stay close to Luke but smiling at Ashton softly behind her pacifier.
“You can’t really tell but she’s smiling at you.” Luke told Ashton. Luke ran his fingers through her hair as she looked at Ashton, like she was deciding what she thought of him.
“Is she settling in well?” Michael asked, from his spot on the floor where he was still playing with Harper.
“We’re getting there,” You replied. The guys had been getting regular updates since Bella had been home, but you and Luke had been too busy adjusting to your new family to keep them up to date with every little thing. “She’s much more affectionate with us now, and is sleeping much better. It’s up and down, but we’re going in the right direction.”
“That’s good.” Calum replied, watching how Bella looked up at Luke every so often for reassurance. It was clear that she felt safe with him.
“Daddy, can I give Bella her present now?” Harper asked Michael, hoping it would entice her to come and play with them both. Harper was a sociable child, always wanting to make new friends and play with whoever was around — she wanted to be friends with Bella.
“You brought her a present? That’s so sweet, Harper.” You watched as Michael passed Harper her backpack, and she pulled out a small plush dog, similar to the one she had herself.
“Look! It’s a doggy, like mine! And now they can be friends!” She explained excitedly. Bella’s eyes landed on her as the attention was diverted in her direction. “Can I give it to her?”
It made your heart melt at how cautious Harper was being, taking great care not to overwhelm the baby she so badly wanted to get to know.
“Bella, look what Harper has for you.” Luke rubbed her back, coaxing her to look in Harper’s direction. She sucked harder on the pacifier between her lips, not making an effort to move any closer — but Luke spotted the curiosity on her face. “What is it? Shall we see?”
Harper moved closer to the two of them, cautiously handing the stuffed dog out towards her. Bella looked at the object in her hand, still not acknowledging it. Luke kept his hand on her back, so she knew he was there.
“This is for you.” Harper said to her, waiting until Bella held her hand out to take it.
“That’s so kind, Harper! Thank you so much.” Luke used his free arm to pull her into a hug, kissing her forehead. Harper smiled, happily that Bella accepted her gift. “Look, baby. Isn’t he so cute?”
Bella played with the soft toy in her hands, pushing her hands through the soft fur on its head. It took her a moment, but she finally decided that she liked it, hugging it to her chest. A soft chorus of “aww”’s broke out amongst the group as they watched the sweet moment.
“She loves it!” Luke exclaimed. It seemed as though in that moment, Bella decided that the unfamiliar faces weren’t there to hurt her — like she was accepting that she could feel okay around them. She let go of Luke’s leg, stepping forward on wobbly feet as she headed back to her trains. She sat down in front of them, grabbing her favourite one and pushing it around the floor like she always did. She took another in her hands — holding it out to Harper, as an invitation to play.
“She wants to play with you, honey.” Michael told Harper, knowing how relieved everyone in the room was feeling that the day was going well. They so badly wanted to get to know Bella — they knew that had to be patient. It was all a long process.
Harper sat down next to her, accepting the train that Bella held out.
“When does everything become official?” Ashton asked, as Harper and Bella played quietly on the floor in front of you all.
“We can’t apply for the adoption order until she’s been with us for 10 weeks, so we still have a little while to go.” Luke explained, thinking about the legal process they still had to go through before she was an official member of the Hemmings Family. “We’ll have to go to the family court. Our social worker will be there too to share everything we’ve reported to her from Bella’s time with us, and then the judge will hopefully grant us the order and we get full parental responsibility.”
Ashton nodded in understanding.
“It’s all worth it though, right?”
It definitely would be — it already was. Luke didn’t even need to think about the answer, and neither did you. The love you had already felt from Bella over the last month made you grateful for the lifetime you had ahead with her.
***
Until the court granted you and Luke the adoption order for Bella, Sarah was still partly responsible for her. You had kept in frequent contact with her — sharing photos and videos of Bella’s milestones and cute moments to keep her updated.
With the court date coming up in the next few weeks, Sarah wanted to pay another visit to your home. She wasn’t worried, she had made that clear — it was more for reassurance for you and Luke, as well as hearing more about Bella’s progress.
You were intrigued as to how Bella would react to Sarah this time.
The last time had been so soon after first moving in with you that she had missed her so much. Since then, Bella had made a lot of progress, including meeting new people and becoming much more affectionate with both you and Luke. You were hoping Bella wouldn’t get so upset when Sarah had to leave this time.
Bella was sitting, playing with her trains, like she spent a lot of her time doing. Her stuffed dog, known as ‘doggy’ — the gift that Harper so lovingly gave to her when she visited with the guys — sat next to her as she played. She had grown very attached to the stuffed animal to the point where she wouldn’t sleep without him.
A knock at the door diverted her attention from the trains.
“Hello, you two!”
Bella pushed herself up onto her feet at the familiar voice, taking wobbly steps towards the front door where you and Luke greeted her.
“There’s my favourite girl!” Sarah knelt down and opened her arms, gasping when she realised Bella was actually walking towards her. “Look at you walking all by yourself! When did you get so big?”
Bella smiled and wrapped her arms around Sarah’s neck, clearly happy to see her.
“It feels like it’s been so long since we last saw you.” Luke spoke as he closed the front door, inviting Sarah into the lounge with Bella in her arms.
“It does,” Sarah replied, setting Bella down on the ground in the hopes of seeing how she would interact with you and Luke, as well as the several toys scattered around the floor. “I have a feeling I’m about to get some positive updates though.”
You and Luke joined Sarah on the sofa as Bella resumed playing with her toys. Sarah observed her carefully, watching her body language to see if she was comfortable. She seemed content — making her “choo choo” noise as she pushed the trains around in front of her.
“That’s her new favourite game,” Luke explained, a smile on his face as they watched her play. “She’s obsessed with them.”
“Has she had the chance to interact with any other children yet?” Sarah asked, curious to know how Bella responded around other children if she had been around anyone else.
“Yeah, she met my bandmate’s daughter a few weeks ago.” Luke replied. “She’s three, her name is Harper. Bella was really shy around them at first but she warmed up after a little while. Harper gave her the little dog she has next to her there, and she’s grown really attached to that.”
“That’s good to hear.” Sarah replied, nodding as Luke spoke. “Did they play together?”
“Harper tried to play with her favourite train and she wasn’t happy about it at first, but after she came around a little bit they played together without any issues,” You replied, recalling the events from when she first met the guys and Harper. “She’s learning how to share which is really nice.”
As if Bella knew what you were talking about, she stood up with a train in her hand and took it to Luke — as an offer for him to play with her. He obliged, moving to sit on the carpet with her and play like she usually did.
“What is her sleeping pattern like?”
“Definitely a lot better than it was.” Luke informed her. “We give her a bottle before she goes to sleep. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night but not very often, and she’s happy to sleep in her crib.”
“She seems to be doing a lot better, this is all really great to hear.” She assured you, writing notes down in her clipboard that she would need to add to your file. “This will definitely all go in your favour for the adoption order too. How are you feeling about the whole court process?”
It had been something you and Luke had discussed many times — the process of going into court to prove that you could be loving and responsible parents for Bella was a daunting one. The risk of them not granting you the order laid heavy on your hearts, although it was extremely unlikely — especially with the way that Bella had settled in. Sarah would be there to share all the information she had, which was nothing but recommendations for you to get the order.
“Nervous,” Luke responded, turning to talk with Sarah whilst continuing to play with Bella. “We just want everything to be certain now, you know? Even though we know the likelihood of them not granting us the order is low.”
Having the adoption order would mean you and Luke gaining all of the parental rights that you would have had if Bella was your biological daughter. It would also mean Sarah losing her legal responsibility over Bella — even though you were sure she’d keep in touch in the future.
“Absolutely, please don’t worry about that.” Sarah reassured you. She had been through this process many times, enough to know that there would be no reason for you or Luke to be rejected by the court.. The two of you had shown nothing but love towards her, and she was happy and safe in your home. “I’ll make sure the judge sees exactly what’s going on here, okay? That she has a loving and beautiful home with the two of you.”
“Thank you,” Luke smiled, following a sigh of relief. “We really appreciate that.”
“Bella, do you want to help me make dinner?” You asked her, wanting Sarah to see her interacting with you too. It was something you did together to bond with her — she enjoyed helping you out and it was a good chance to spend time together. You and Luke tried to involve her with activities around the house, hoping it would make it feel more like home to her. “Come on, bub.”
You held your hand out to her which she took, toddling along next to you as you headed to the kitchen. Sarah stayed next to Luke, happy to have the chance to talk to him individually. She watched as you picked Bella up, setting her on your hip as you got out the ingredients for her favourite dinner — a pasta bake. She could hear you quietly talking to her, explaining what you needed her to do, and getting her to help you find the ingredients in the fridge. Luke loved watching you together too.
“Have you been referring to each other as ‘mama’ or ‘dada’ in front of her?” Sarah asked. Luke shook his head. The two of you had the conversation about whether to start using that language to refer to each other, so she would pick up on it, but it seemed to soon. The looming worry of the adoption order being rejected hung heavy over your heads, and having her call you mum and dad before she was officially a part of the family was too risky. You didn’t want to confuse her if the worst was to happen.
“We talked about it, but we decided to wait until we got the order.” Luke explained, worried that Sarah would disagree with what you opted to do — especially since she was so sure of you being granted the order. “We just didn’t want to risk her getting used to calling us that for it to go wrong.”
“I understand,” She replied. “I know it’s a worry, but please try not to focus on it. I promise I will do my absolute best, and it’s extremely unlikely that you’ll be rejected. You’re doing a great job, she seems very happy even from what I’ve seen of her so far.”
“Thank you,” He smiled, his heart melting as he spotted you and Bella together in the kitchen — she sat on your hip as you stirred pasta in a pan, her eyes curiously watching everything you were doing. Luke had waited so long for these moments. There was nothing he loved more than seeing you with Bella — seeing her look at you like you were her whole world. Getting to know her over the last eight weeks had been a beautiful experience. He thought touring was the most chaotic part of his life, but since Bella joined your family, he realised he was wrong.
“Thank you so much for having me again.” You handed Sarah her coat as she prepared to leave. With dinner eaten and more discussions over Bella had, it was time for her to go — and you hoped Bella wouldn’t get upset again.
“Of course. Thank you for everything, as always.” Luke spoke. He felt Bella pull on the leg of his trousers, trying to get his attention. She was reaching up to him, mumbling an “up!” behind her pacifier. He happily obliged, resting her in his arms as Sarah stepped outside. Bella asking for Luke’s attention was a good sign. “Shall we say bye, Bella?”
“Bye bye.” She called out quietly from where her head was resting on Luke’s shoulder, lifting a hand to wave at her as she left. Tears welled in your eyes at the sight, thinking back to what happened the last time Sarah visited, and how Bella had reacted to her leaving.
She had made so much progress.
Luke patted her back as she yawned against his shoulder.
“Is it bedtime, baby? Is someone ready for bed?” Luke asked her, kissing her forehead. She needed a bath, pasta sauce ending up smeared all over her hands and soft cheeks.
“Bed?” She replied, rubbing her eyes. She pushed against Luke, looking around for something in particular — you. As soon as her eyes landed on you, she called out again and held her arms out towards you.
“You want me to put you to bed?” You asked, trying not to let any tears slip out again as she tried to get out of Luke's arms to get to you. It was usually his time with her, she seemed to go to him for comfort most of the time and when she wanted someone to play with. It had played on your mind that she seemed to have a stronger bond with him than you. However, all she wanted now was to be in your arms. “Come here, sweet girl. Let’s go have a bath and head to bed, huh?”
Luke felt a sense of relief wash over him as he watched you carry her upstairs, quietly chatting with her as you held her close. He knew you thought a lot about your relationship with her and whether she had bonded with you or not — but as he watched you together, he knew she had. He saw the way you looked at her and the way she looked at you too. He knew she loved you just as much as she loved him too.
Luke worked on cleaning the kitchen from dinner. As he did the dishes, he could hear water splashing from the bath upstairs — he knew you’d be lathering her soft curls with your favourite coconut shampoo, and making bubble beards to hear her sweet laughter. He felt so content. He waited a little longer, before heading up to her nursery, where he could hear your soft voice reading her one of her favourite books. He didn’t want to disturb the moment, but he couldn’t resist peering in.
The sight he was met with made his heart swell.
You were rocking in the soft chair in the corner of her nursery, humming under your breath as Bella fell asleep. Curled up in your arms, her hand clutched on to the neck of his t-shirt that you had borrowed, her eyes were heavy as you rocked her.
Neither of you needed to say anything. The way you both felt in the moment said more than words would be able to.
You thought back to her first week at home, where she would refuse to be held or accept any comfort, and cried until she eventually tired herself out. Moments like these, where she wanted to be rocked to sleep, had seemed like a lifetime away. It had been so difficult at times, more than could be explained, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the overwhelming love you felt towards her.
Luke also noticed the tears lining your eyes.
He couldn’t tell where the tears were coming from. He had noticed a few times over the past few days where you’d gotten emotional, but he had gotten distracted with Bella and you’d been okay again. However, now, he wanted to talk.
“I’ll put her down, and then we can talk, okay?” Luke whispered, his hand landing on your shoulder in a reassuring touch.
You shook your head softly before replying, “it’s okay, I got her.”
You carefully stood from the rocking chair, shifting Bella in your arms so she was pressed against your chest. She stayed asleep, the pacifier in her mouth helping to keep her content as she snoozed. Luke lingered in the hallway, waiting until you’d settled Bella into her crib in your room, tucking her blanket around her body and leaving the door open ajar behind you.
“C’mere.” Luke murmured, holding his arms out for you to slot into as you broke down in tears. He hated the sound of you crying, it always tore his heart into pieces, no matter the situation. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you flush against his chest as you sobbed into his neck. His fingertips ran up and down your back, soothing you by touch as you cried. “Shh, it’s okay honey. I’m right here.”
You tried to catch your breath as you held onto Luke, the faded scent of his cologne that clung to his skin and clothes comforting to your senses. The past eight weeks had been a lot. You hadn't had time to process any of the feelings, as well as hardly speaking to Luke about them. Everything had built up.
“What’s the matter?” Luke asked softly, his finger gently placed underneath your chin, to tilt your face to look at him. His thumbs landed on your cheeks, softly brushing away the tears that had fallen as he looked into your eyes. It made him realise that he hadn’t held you for a while. The two of you had been so focused on Bella, that it seemed as though you had forgotten about each other. “What’s with the tears, gorgeous?”
You didn’t know how to verbalise it, or even where to start.
“I love you,” You whimpered, trying to keep your sobs under control as you looked at him. The beautiful, kind, caring man you were so lucky to call your husband. “I love you and I’m so proud of us. I just… I love Bella so much. And I think she’s starting to love us too.”
His thumb traced your cheekbones, holding your face in his hands but without speaking — he wanted you to get everything out first. He nodded, though. He knew you were right. The two of you had been terrified that Bella wasn’t going to settle in — it wasn’t something you often spoke about, since it scared you both so much. He knew the tears were out of relief.
His nose nudged against yours as he moved his face closer, just needing to be intimate with you. He just wanted to feel close to you, as connected as you always were. His lips gently brushed yours, a sign of the love he didn’t have to speak of to know it was there.
“She does,” He confirmed to you, thinking about the scene he had been met with just moments ago. “You should see the way she looks at you, babe. She adores you. You’re giving her the love that she’s never felt before.”
The wetness of your tears met his fingertips as he wiped them away, his words being everything you needed to hear. The desperation to be a parent that had built up over the last few months and years all seemed to be coming out as you thought about the sweet baby girl fast asleep in your bedroom.
“We are.” You corrected him, trying not to cry even more when you thought about them together. Luke had only become more affectionate and soft in his new role as a parent — one he was always destined to fulfill. “She feels safe with us now, she wants us. You’re amazing, Luke. You’re everything a parent should be. She’s so happy when she’s with you.”
Luke sighed against your lips, closing his eyes momentarily as he tried not to get emotional too.
“You’re going to make me cry with you.” He chuckled, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. “I know it’s been hard. It’s been so much to handle, but look at us now. We waited so long for this, and we did it.”
“It’s not over yet,” You reminded him, not wanting to ruin the loving moment but not being able to forget the looming court date at the back of your mind. “But we’re so close.”
“So close,” He smiled. Every day was a day closer to Bella officially becoming a Hemmings. “We’re getting closer every day.”
***
With just over a week until the court date, Luke was anxious.
Michael’s partner had offered to take you out for the day, knowing you needed to take your mind off of everything just for a few hours — leaving Luke and Michael in charge of Harper and Bella.
“So, how are you holding up?” Michael asked, accepting the beer Luke handed to him as he joined his bandmate on the sofa. Bella had been happy to see Harper, instantly searching out her doggy, the one that matched hers. Harper had been happy to see that Bella loved hers so much.
“Good, man.” Luke replied, his fingertips drumming along the edge of the sofa. A telltale sign of his anxiety that Michael knew too well. “We’re just so close to everything being official now, we’ve waited so long for it.”
Luke couldn’t take his eyes off of Bella as she sat on the floor in front of him, watching as Harper pulled a few of her toys out of her backpack. She was fresh from a nap — cheeks rosy and hair tousled from how she had slept.
“It’s the best feeling though, isn’t it?”
Luke smiled at Michael’s words. He knew exactly what he was talking about.
He loved the little moments. Waking up every morning with her asleep in the crib at the end of his bed was one of his favourite things. Even though he knew she shouldn’t be sleeping in your bed, he savoured the moments where she fell asleep in there accidentally, and he’d be woken by little pyjama covered feet resting against his back. Her cuddles were nothing like he had ever felt before — the love and sweetness she radiated gave him a feeling he was sure he’d never find anywhere else. At bedtime when she was getting sleepy, and she’d go to him for his warm cuddles — it made him melt. He knew she felt safe with him now. Luke loved the way she wanted him to be involved when she played now, too — at first he sat and watched her from a distance, knowing she was content to be alone — but now she’d openly invite him to join her. She had learned how to share, and seemed proud of herself when someone accepted whatever she offered them, whether it was a toy or a piece of her afternoon snack. Her laugh was his favourite sound. She had brought so much happiness to your lives and to your house — she made it a home.
He nodded. “Yeah, it is.”
“I miss having a baby,” Michael admitted as he watched Harper play — he felt as though she was growing older and older with every day that passed. “Even now, when Harper falls asleep on me it still melts my heart. I hope she never grows out of it.”
“I’m sure she won’t. You’re her idol.” Luke replied, knowing it was true — Harper had looked up to Michael ever since she was born. He loved seeing her grow up, and seeing Michael evolve into being a parent.
Harper stood to run to the stairs, remembering that she had left something in one of her coat pockets that she just had to show Bella. Bella wanted to follow — standing up and attempting to chase after her. Although, she wasn’t as steady on her feet as Harper was, and she tripped over the edge of the rug, taking a tumble to the ground.
Luke was instantly out of his seat as he heard her cries. They hurt his heart, not knowing whether she had bumped her head or grazed her knee.
“Oh dear.” He scooped her up straight away, holding her against his chest and gently patting her back like he always did to soothe her. “Shh, you’re alright baby. It’s okay.”
He bounced her in his arms as she calmed down, hiding her face in his neck as she cried.
”Hey, Bella. It’s alright, honey.” He reassured her, running a hand through her hair. He waited until her sobs quietened down into whimpers, before she lifted her head to look up at him. “Where does it hurt, angel? Can you show me?”
She sniffled against his shoulder as she pointed to her knee. He looked to where she was gesturing to, seeing a little red mark from where she had scraped it on the carpet.
“It’s only a little bump, sweetheart.” He reassured her, kissing her damp cheek. He rubbed his thumb over her knee, as if him touching it would make it magically go away. “You’re okay.”
Michael had watched the whole moment between them and he couldn’t help but smile, despite the fact that Bella had hurt herself. He loved seeing Luke in dad mode. A mode that never went away once it started. It had been rough for them all, hearing about your troubles conceiving and then trying to make a decision about how to start a family — they all wanted you and Luke to be happy. Michael knew, from what he had just seen between Luke and Bella, that he was happy.
***
“Do you think we’re gonna get any sleep tonight?”
You spoke quietly, breaking the silence that had settled over the room. It wasn’t uncomfortable — it never was with Luke, not after being in love for so many years — but it was anxious. You both felt it. Tomorrow was going to be a big day.
“I think we should,” Luke replied, turning to look at you, at the other side of the bed. “However, I’m not sure we actually will.”
Bella laid fast asleep, blissfully unaware of how her parents were feeling. Her parents, who after tomorrow, would officially be just that. For some reason, the two of you needed to have her close to you — the crib at the end of your bed wasn’t close enough. She was snug, cuddled up in between the two of you, her feet pressed against Luke’s bare stomach in the awkward position she had fallen asleep in.
“I can’t believe how far she’s come.” You murmured, ever so slightly tracing your finger down her nose and over her cheeks. She squirmed a little at the contact, her hand moving up to touch her face before she settled down again.
“I know,” Luke replied. “Remember when we were scared to even go near her whilst she was asleep? In case she woke up and got upset again.”
You nodded, realising how genuinely relieved you were that she had settled in so well. The nights where she had been inconsolable and wouldn’t sleep as well as pushing you and Luke away were so painful — you were sure you’d never forget them. As she slept soundly in between you both, it made you appreciate how grateful you were for how things had turned out.
“I love her so much.” You whispered, moving a little closer to Luke and resting your head on his shoulder. Even though your lives had changed so much, and you no longer had time for the several date nights you tried to go on every month — your connection to him had never been stronger. The struggles had brought you closer together. “And I love you.”
“I love you too, gorgeous.” He replied, kissing the crown of your head. “Whatever happens, we have each other, right?”
“Always.”
***
“Okay,” You, Luke and Sarah were about to hear the words you had waited a long time to hear. “Looking at everything we have here… it’s safe to say that Isabella has settled into your family very well. Congratulations to you both, you officially are her legal parents.”
You clasped your hand over your mouth to conceal an excited squeal, trying to contain your emotions until you left the courtroom.
Isabella Hemmings.
Sarah was the first to leave the room, after thanking the judge — you and Luke being quick to follow. You couldn’t stop the tears from slipping down your cheeks as Luke wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a tight hug. A hug that displayed all of the emotions you had felt ever since deciding you were going to adopt. It had been a rollercoaster of happiness, sadness, uncertainty, but mostly — overwhelming joy. Every emotion had lead to this moment.
“We did it.” You sobbed into his shoulder, not wanting to let go of him.
“Congratulations, you two!” Sarah pulled you both into tight hugs, trying to hold back her own tears. “I know it’s been a long, difficult process but we got here eventually. I could not have hoped for a more loving family for Bella to go to, and I know she’s going to be very happy with you both.”
“Thank you so much for everything.” Luke didn’t know how to show his gratitude. Sarah truly had changed your lives, and her support had gotten you both through the process. “I don’t know how to tell you how appreciative we are. Thank you for bringing her into our lives.”
It was then you heard Bella’s happy squeals.
“Look who’s back, Bella!” Michael exclaimed, trying to keep a hold on her as she squirmed excitedly in his arms. Harper stayed close to her dad, one small hand holding his larger one for reassurance in the unfamiliar surroundings. The court had been daunting for you all, and with not being able to take Bella in with you both — Michael had offered to watch her and to tag along for moral support. Bella had grown attached to Harper and was more than happy to play with her whilst you went through the legal proceedings.
“There’s our sweet girl.” Luke held his arms out and took her from Michael, holding her flush against his chest as he cuddled his daughter. She had been his daughter ever since she was allowed to go home with you both, but now, it was official.
“So I’m guessing everything went well?” Michael asked, already knowing the answer by the elated expression on yours and Luke’s faces.
You nodded, your hand going to cover your face once more as you composed yourself.
“Come here.” Michael chuckled as he pulled you into a warm hug. “I’m so happy for you both. You’re already the best parents to her, she adores you. She’s an angel and you’re going to do the best job at raising her.”
“Thank you, Mike.” You knew he truly was so happy about the situation. You knew he was worried about Luke, when your future as a family was full of uncertainty — all of the guys did, and now, they no longer had to. Your family was finally complete.
“Now, miss Isabella Hemmings,” Luke cooed, tapping her nose to make her giggle as she looked up at him. “Shall we get you home?”
Home. A place that now had a completely different meaning — one that Bella could call her own. When you first met her, she needed you, she needed a home, parents to love her like she deserved to be loved — but little did she know, it was you and Luke who needed her just as much.
Isabella Hemmings.
***
I would really really appreciate it if you could let me know your thoughts on this fic! I worked very hard on it and would appreciate any feedback you have <3 thank you so much for reading and making it this far!
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Ok idk if you’ve seen that video Kylie Jenner posted of stormi and being patient with the m&m’s but like can you imagine you and cal doing that with your kid to see if they’re patient and would wait 🥺🥺
𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 ⇉ patience baby
warnings ➢ kinda dirty reference at the end
so y’all had the bowl in front of her, her eyes literally went full blown puppy when you told her she had to wait until you two finished doing something
her bottom lip jutted would kill calum honestly
cal’s heart would literally break seeing her huff and pout on the sofa and n give you a kiss on the cheek before making his next move
the man literally S P R I N T E D to his daughter, he just is such a SUCKER FOR HER AAA
“hi princess! we are back! you can have three candies now!”
she jumped up from her seat quickly & dipped her hand into the bowl of m&ms
ur bottom lip stuck out while you watched in awe of your little girl growing up so quickly which u were so SCARED OF UR LITTLE GIRL GROWING UP
calum’s arm pulled around your waist, looking at your longing gaze at her. “she’s growing up cal.” you pouted, calum chuckling.
“think it’s time for a baby sibling?” calum asks, totally joking but he would like an answer to his question. his lips pressed against yours, giving you a soft kiss while your daughter was sitting on the sofa and playing with the candy
“yes, me and you tonight. we can afford to see this again.” you mumbled, calum’s brows raising but he let into it. “mm, suppose we can. well miss hood, i will see you tonight, dress-code is black and at one pm its’ nude.” calum teases, making you quite literally shudder. you nodded, “yessir, we will finish this talk later.”
now taking your spots with your daughter and enjoying the candy with her so u could wrap this up quickly and get the the fun part of the night
