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𝙵𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝟷, 𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟸 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺-𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟹

[ID: February 1. Nothing, merely tired. END ID]

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Franz Kafka, Letters to Felice, November 27, 1912

However, these types of suspicions were an inherent part of fasting. No one could actually keep the hunger artist under observation all day and all night, no single observer could truly know if his fast was in fact perfect and unbroken; only the hunger artist himself could know, and thus he was the only truly satisfied spectator of his fast. He was, however, never satisfied for other reasons; he became emaciated —so emaciated that the public regretfully had to keep its distance because they could not bear the sight of him— perhaps not so much out of fasting, but out of dissatisfaction with himself. This was because he alone knew what no other initiate could know: how easy it was to fast. It was the easiest thing in the world. He was not secretive about this, but nobody believed him. They thought he was being modest at best, but most took him for an attention-seeker or a swindler for whom fasting was easy because he knew how to make it easy and had the gall to half-admit it. He had to take all of this, he had grown used to it over the course of the years, but this dissatisfaction gnawed inside him constantly, and after his fasts —one had to give him credit for this— he never left the cage of his own free will.

Franz Kafka, A Hunger Artist (trans. me)