“For the first time I had something to lose." ( Damiane )
a hella long list of taylor swift sentence starters
for @damicchi
Anger surged in his veins that he had to clench his fists to prevent himself from slamming the door. They’ve been over this conversation once, but hearing it the second time brought out the same amount of sting it gave during their freshman year.
He remembered it perfectly. Two young students in medical school, one on a higher year level than the other, though they were nearly the same age. Kyungsoo forgot to sign up for one of his courses, which caused a delay for him, forcing him to attend a different class every Friday afternoon.
They were seated together, by some coincidence, since the old professor barely read the list of students on her advisory class. The professor arranged them alphabetically, with the peculiar mistake of putting ‘Damiane’ and ‘Do’ right next to each other, since she had her mind set that everyone indicated their last names first before first names.
Naturally, the girl named Damiane was confused but she complied. Kyungsoo didn’t notice it until she began talking to him. He wasn’t one to be talkative during class hours, so he managed to only flash a smile here and there. Later on they exchanged numbers, until their little tutoring meet-ups turned into daily occurrences that books were the last thing they looked forward to when they eagerly met outside the building, 4pm, near the tall tree they often sat under.
But he was a confused lad, with zero to none experience in a good relationship. He didn’t know how to handle it, though he craved for her presence every day. He played games, foolishly offering a part of him that he was still reluctant to share. “First one to fall in love is the loser,” he would say. It led to a few hurtful things, as predicted, over the course of 4 months they’ve been pushing and pulling. Until one day, when the class they shared together was finished, he began to avoid her like a plague.
The rest, as he would say, was history.
But now she was back, and for good, as she hoped it would be. He didn’t expect her to be in one of the hospitals he applied for.
He lifted his hand, gesturing for her to cease what she was about mumble, then carefully placed it right on the knob. “There’s nothing to lose, Damiane,” he gritted through his teeth, tasting the regret he was about to feel just as he stepped out of the room. “Because there was none to gain, to begin with.”
As cowardly as he was, he wanted to spare her from himself. He felt unworthy of her. He believed she deserved better; he believed he was nowhere near what she wanted him to be.
