#dammit susan

[leaveherwildliketheflowers]

Dammit Susan!

After 2 weeks of working from home together my husband and I have created an imaginary coworker named Susan who is the culprit for all things annoying. Dishes left on the table? Susan must have forgotten to pick up after herself. No paper in the printer? Susan used the last of it and didn't replace it. Randomly throughout the day one of us will yell, "Dammit Susan!" and then move on with their day. This, folks, is how you survive a quarantine with your spouse.

[ray4uray]

*Me doing my thing*

People: But why do you have to put that thing there?

Me: BECAUSE AESTHETICS SUSAN

[shenzy]

"how the hell am i supposed to give birth to 1.2 kids?" simple susan. for every fifth kid you give birth to, you get one for free as a loyalty bonus

[daughterdrakes]

So I'm doing exegetical research rn and I came across a really cool article about reversed gender roles in the story of Jael & Sisera. I'm ready to impress my advisor with this awesome article.

You know who fucking wrote it?

My advisor

[halliewriteshockey]

Random Facts

Goddammit, @hixystix got me. FINE, HAVE 11 MORE FACTS ABOUT ME.

I’ve never seen E.T.

I’m about 55% fluent in Spanish and couldn’t hold a conversation in it to save my life.

My favorite word is triskaidekaphobia. 

I loathe all forms of bananas.

I saw Princess Diana when I was about seven years old. She was very regal and lovely, and I decided I was going to be a princess when I grew up.

Twenty years later, I went on vacation to England and saw the Queen, twice. Didn’t get to meet her, but still.

I’m a self-taught knitter. Never had lessons.

I can’t watch things going up noses. It’s my number one squick when watching TV/movies. 

I wrote a very popular book revolving entirely around the main character’s love of Indian food and learning to cook it, but I actually am not a fan myself. It’s too spicy and I’m a wimp.

My female celebrity crush is Hayley Atwell. (Sweet roller-skating baby Jesus, she is Too Much.)

I’ve bitten my dentist on at least four separate occasions.

Okay, this time I’m tagging @hadesqueen, @pandashrine, @gabriel-is-my-spirit-moose, @rieraclaelin, @deputychairman, @lemonnaise and @chibilouloutte. 

List 11 facts about yourself and tag some folks!

[unearthedunknown]

dammit, susan.

[caravaggiosbrushes]

i’m downloading the entre twenty one pilots discography...........

it’s done

[buttholefactory]

Where my receptionist with last month's statistics?!???¿?¿??¿!?!???