#damrrm

[thescyfychannel]

damrrm answered your question “Give me your headcanons—what type of dance would each Homestuck...”

Dave: Breakdance, this could also aply todirk though he would be at an advanced leval.

Ooooh that would be interesting. I smell a competition brewing!

[gremlinmodeshrew]

Soul Eater One Shot: Selkies

  Dark choppy waves crashed against the side of the tiny boat. The morning light rippled across the turbulent waves, and the fishing boat rocked precariously over the sea surfs. The smashing of the currents against the hull of the vessel were only part of the everlasting cacophony of waves smashing on top of one another. The laughing of the captain rang like a harbour bell above it all as one of his passengers lurched over the edge to spill his breakfast.

  He cut the engine and turned back to the two researchers, allowing his azure hair to blow in the violent winds, “Landlubbers! Both of ye! How do you can lot think ye can git on the great and open sea and study selkie if ye even hold yer lunch?” His thick jacket was pelted by the howling air. The researchers glared daggers at the high-pitched scottish imp from huddling in their thick clothes. Captain Star hoisted the anchor over the side of the boat and grinned. He looked up at the dark clouds, and checked the watch underneath the thick layers of his attire. “Should stick around here fer about two hours, and if the sun don’t shine by then, we ‘ead back ‘ome and eat a local cafe or somethin’.”

  The researcher with a ushanka coughed, “Is it true that mermaids only come out during mild weather?” He rubbed his gloved hands over his black trench coat feverishly. The one with a shorter coat and sock hat sighed as she fiddled with pink earmuffs.

  Captain Star tilted his head back in laughter, before snapping his gaze to the amber ones before him, “They come out in weather like this ‘bout as much as the mail man gets his deliveries on time. Those sneaky creatures just sink to the bottom of the sea when this goes on. But I checked the weather and my intuition and I say it’ll be clearin’ up soon. Don’ go thinkin’ that you can just barge on in ‘ere an’ they won’t notice. Bet me ol’ buddy down there is grumblin’ somethin’ vicious down there,” the small man snickered as he looked into the raging waters.

  Kid sighed and looked over to his partner, who in turn glared daggers into the man at the wheel. He looked over to the captain and called out above the screeching gales, “Is it true,” the captain looked at Kid with wide turquoise eyes and Kid started again, “Is it true that selkie can enchant a person with their song?” The captain blinked before shaking his head vigourously.

  “Sailor’s yarn. Sure, the selkie ‘ave singing voices of cherubs, but they ain’t no sirens. A good buddy a mine ‘ll be comin’ up and ‘e can try seducin’ yer partner there,” Captain Star snickered as she restrained herself from decking him with her folder. The lady twiddled the marker in her hand as though she wanted to stab him with it. 

  The captain took a good sniff before looking off into the horizon. The well-muscled man bit his lip, and nodded. “In ‘bout half an hour good weather should be comin’ ‘round. Time me if ye like,” the captain said it with such certainty that Maka decided to do as such.

  Turned out (to Maka’s dismay), he was right. As soon as thirty minutes had passed,the sky was a clear blue and the winds had settled to a gentle breeze. Captain Star looked at the stunned faces of the researchers, “Never doubt a seaman’s intuition, sandcrabs.” Maka slapped her forehead, questioning why she hired this bozo to research selkie. Why didn’t she hire a professional?

  As she wrung her pigtails of seawater, she heard Kid groan, “Why did you hire this guy again?”

  Maka sighed, “I’m questioning that myself.”

  Captain Star shucked off his heavy jacket and overalls, favouring a muscle shirt and fisherman wrap pants. He pushed his boots to the side to put on some sandals. He watched as the researchers tentatively followed his example, and allowed themselves to take off the thick layers. They wore wetsuits. Captain Star nodded in approval. (He thought they would have been stupid and worn wool and jeans or something equally ridiculous.) As he toyed with the rope attached to the anchor, he debated dropping them off nearby and playing the old ‘mail buoy watch’ trick.

  He tugged on the rope again, before feeling a tug back. Captain Star grinned, and tugged twice. The rope tugged twice back. 

  He leapt to his feet before clearing the wheel of the ship. The researches leapt to their feet in preparation, despite nearly falling again due to the rocking seas. “Landlubbers…” Captain Star muttered under his breath as he looked into the water with piercing blue-green eyes. He smashed his hand against the deck in anger before ducking his head under the water. Maka and Kid looked towards each other before looking back at the captain. Maka should’ve known that she would have been the one to hire an insane captain. His ego was certainly enough to qualify him for god complex…

  Pulling his head out of the water with an impressive tailing of water, he flipped over onto his back and drummed his fingers against the deck. Emerald eyes looked at the glorious sunlight that rained down upon the glittering water. She felt a cool mist wash over her face before returning to its faithful mistress. 

  “Sorry everyone, but me friend’s a bit jumpy at how we’re all up ‘ere on a big ol’ boat and ‘e’s in the water and all. ‘E wants us all to jump in. Bastard,” Captain Star made a ‘tch’ing sound before leaping in. Kid looked on in horror. Maka patted his back as he felt an oncoming rush of seasickness. His face was as green as a lima bean. Maka resisted the urge to giggle.

  A plooshing sound erupted from the water as a familiar head of aqua surfaced, “Come on in! The Mediterranean seas are especially nice at this time of the year!”

  Maka nodded in agreement. The July months were kind, and she was willing to leap in the water.

   Though, she had to look out for her comrade as well. “Kid! Jump in!” she urged with a violent kick to his shin. Kid whimpered and backed away from the side of the boat. Captain Star laughed and spat out a small spout of water. Maka rolled her eyes and pulled Kid back to the edge of the boat. Looking round, she saw the ladder on the side of the boat.

  She kicked it down the end and dragged Kid over to it. Kid grabbed the folds of his wetsuit and tugged tightly. He whimpered into the black and grey fabric. Maka rolled her luminous jade eyes and grabbed his collar.

  “Do you not know how to swim?” she snarled at her incompetent partner. 

  Kid stood up straight and dusted himself off, “No, I’m perfectly fine. In fact, I can swim quite well. My only issue is…” Kid’s eyes widened at the sight of the murky waves.

  Maka was getting pushed too far for her liking, “Is?” she growled. Kid bit his lip and slowly turned to her. 

  “There’s germs in saltwater,” Kid whimpered. 

  “Oh for cripes sakes!” Kid took a face first dive into the water.

  “My nose plugs!” Kid tred water desperately. Maka rolled her eyes and handed him his nose and ear plugs. After fiddling with them for a moment, he handed the empty case back and Maka put it in the food compartment. She grabbed her goggles off the side and put them on confidently. The young woman walked to the end of the boat, took a deep breath,  and dived in gracefully.

  Maka opened her eyes in the murky depths. The warm water flowed around her like a welcoming womb. She watched shoal of brightly coloured tangs pass her vision, and admired the beautiful wildlife around her. She held out a grey glove to an exceptionally curious orange fish. It pecked at her fingers a moment before dashing off into the infinite underwater realms. Maka smiled before turning up to see the light sparkling across the water. Slowly she rose into the light.

  She looked to see Captain Star chattering away to Kid about how great he was. Kid looked like he was going to puke. Mind you, most people felt like that after about two hours with him. 

  As Maka opened her mouth to speak, a dark object swirled around her. The torpedo got larger and larger, before Captain Star screeched and started back stroking away quickly. Kid screamed and dove out of the way, before resurfacing around Maka.

  Maka stayed still, eyes wide in terror as the beast rushed towards the trio. Ash-blond hairs stood on end on her neck. Her breath quickened, but she couldn’t move. Dear Maka was paralyzed in fear. She felt like a little girl again.

  As the time slowed down, the shape burst out of the water. An inhuman snarl echoed through the air, before the beast crashed under the waves again. Maka was shocked out as a massive spray of warm water cascaded down upon her. She blinked twice before rubbing her goggles clean. She heard an indignant screech from the blunette captain.

  “Ye stupid ugly beast! Ye scared the crap outta these folks! Come up ‘ere and apologize!” Captain Star yelled and slapped his hand against the water, not unlike a child. The monster swam around slowly, before breaching the surface.

 A mop of white hair was attached to a tanned body. In fact it was very… human? Maka slowly stirred as the merman swam around her friend, making low clicking noises and soft whistles. Captain Star gestured over to where Maka and Kid swam. Kid screeched and huddled behind Maka. She shook him off and decked him over the head. 

  The merman swam around the two, gurgling curiously. When the two didn’t respond, the creature seems to be saddened. It turned to the captain and clicked softly. Captain Star’s eyes shot open, before shaking his head sadly.

  The merman watched the two sadly. His great tail, oddly similar to that of a leopard seal’s, stretched out far beneath him. Red eyes looked softly at the two, as webbed fingers with clawed fingers whirled at his sides. The furry tail sent powerful currents of water towards her to push her back slightly.

   As the selkie slunk closer, he opened his mouth to reveal large canine teeth. He snapped them before clearing his throat. “Sorry about that.  I learnt the human tongue a while ago. Only the coolest selkies can do it,” the merman grinned as he lay on his back in the water. His voice was deep, though he spoke in an odd fashion. It sounded like a whale’s moan, and each ’t’ in his chattering voice came out as a harsh click.

  Captain Star swam closer to the scientists. He grinned as he poked his head up the ocean waters, “Don’ mind ‘is accent. Soul ‘as the weirdest accent I’ve ever ‘eard.” 

  Maka nodded and watched as the merman floated calmly. He was so very far from the legends, yet so very like them. On one hand, he had the torso of a human that morphed into a tail starting from his naval. It was a smooth shift between the two halves of both animals. However, so greatly unlike the stories, his tail was that of a seal’s. He was huge, at least eleven feet long, mostly due to the tail. The tail had a leopard seal pattern, and it seemed well groomed, remainder a huge slash that travelled all the way from his shoulder to the tip of his tail. It looked absolutely ghastly, to tell the truth.

  Red eyes wandered over to Kid’s horrified face, “What’s up?” 

  Kid stammered a bit, before pointing to the scar. Slowly, he built up the courage to ask the question, “How did you get that scar?” His voice was weak.

  Soul traced his hand over the major one on is body, “This one?” Kid nodded. Soul sighed, “A massive boat came here one day. It took all our food in the month of fattening, and left. It came around the next year at the same time, and took even some of our young ones. It took my only child, only to spit out her bloody corpse. We all tried to tip the boat during a massive storm, but I, along with three others was sucked into these whirling things you humans call propellers. I was the only one who survived of the lot of us.” Soul sighed, slowly flipping onto his stomach to dive. He came up not  moment later to circle the group.

  Captain Star scratched the back of his head, “After a body of a selkie washed ashore, people debated on wether or not to allow the trawlers to come back, so they sent in you guys to research the selkie. As you can see, we’re ‘ere, and we plan staying too.”

  Maka’s lip twitched in anger as Kid nodded slowly. “Those slick… The sailors told tales of selkie growing legs and walking on shore, is that true?” Kid asked, and Soul looked at them with a raised eyebrow.

  He grinned, allowing his fangs to glint in the sunlight, “Of course. I bet you’re wanting to take notes. How about we all get on board and have a nice chat.”

  Ten minutes later, and all except for Soul sat patiently waiting for Soul. He sighed as he grabbed the bars on either side of the water, and hoisted himself up. As he slowly rose out of the water, The fur skin slowly morphed into a baggy set of seal skin pants. It seemed as though the skin peeled off his body like a layer of sunburned skin. A sickening squelch accompanied the macabre display.

  The selkie stopped halfway through, pausing to catch his breath. The loose skin hung around his sculpted hips stickily as the remaining tail flicked limply in the water. It seemed that the tail had shrunk as he had surfaced. Though, the man still had an impressive height on him. His muscles spasmed wildly as he pulled the last of himself ashore. Maka jumped to help, but was held back by the ever-cautious Kid. He fixed her with an amber stare that spelt out clearly, don’t mess. Maka glared back, but settled down when Soul gave a contented sigh.

  Soul panted as his body rolled over like a dog before looking to the scientists, “It takes energy to change, that’s all. That’s why we don’t do it so much,” Soul explained as he stood up. He dusted off the black, grey and white trousers briskly before sitting down on one of the white plastic seats built into the side of the boat.

  A moment of silence overcame the group. The shrieking of a lone herring gull echoed out across the expansive inky blue mess below them called the sea. As the boat rocked, Kid’s face paled and he ducked over the side to puke. Soul winced at the feeble-stomached man. “So, how come you don’t often interact with humans?” Kid asked, wiping a sleeve across his mouth as he turned back to Soul.

  Soul made a small jerking motion with the back of his arm. He raised it hesitantly to his face,

“Dude, you still have some oil around your mouth… And chin…” 

  Kid squinted, “What do you mean?”

  Maka awkwardly shuffled the folder on her lap, “You still have some vomit on your face.”

  Soul looked up to Captain Star, confused, “Is that what you humans call it?” 

  Captain Star shrugged nonchalantly, “I like to call it throwing yer biscuits, but vomit works too.” Soul nodded before turning back to the distinctly pale man.

  The wind played with his snowy locks, “Sorry, I was distracted by… By the ‘vomit’ dripping down your face. What did you ask me?”

  Kid shuffled awkwardly as Maka sighed. Kid never did take to people pointing out his social flaws. “I said, what is the reason your kind doesn’t commonly interact with the human species?” 

  Soul chuckled darkly as his chin dropped to his chest. Captain Star looked out into the distance as Soul's menacing sniggering died away into the warm air. He looked up, strong features heavily shadowed by the angle of his head, “I never said we didn’t. Maybe you didn’t know, but selkies and humans are incredibly similar. In fact, the selkie is so closely related, one of my pod elders, Stein, declares us a subspecies. We interact with your kind on daily a daily basis, you just choose to ignore our differences. We live around coastal regions, sometimes staying away from sea for years. We can perfectly assimilate ourselves into the human world. But don’t try to pick us out from the crowd, we act just like you. We look just like you,” 

     Soul’s dark features lightened as he tilted his head to look the now terrified scientists in the eyes. He watched the small one, Maka he believed, grab her folder tightly. The markings she left were smudged, though still legible. He learned to write in the human language, or at least ‘english’ as they called it, a very long many moons ago. He set his arms behind his head and crossed one leg over the other. His features softened so as to comfort the small one. The other was too strange for his liking, “Don’t run from us, we’re perfectly harmless. Some of us burn our seal skins as a sign of leaving the sea forever. We are just like you, despite a tendency to eat seafood and enjoy living close to water. There are many interspecies marriages between us, and the great majority of my kind do not even know who they truly are. The genes are only carried if both parents share the abilities. Though there have been the very rare cases, but I won’t mention them.

  Soul turned to the female with a sly grin, “And I’m not against interspecies marriage.” The sputtering angry blush only made his smirk grow wider.

  The other male, Kid? Yes, that must have been it, seemed slightly put off as the puny captain cackled. Soul wondered how far he could push these two, but decided against it. He was there to help.

  Kid straightened his back (if it was even possible, it seemed like his spine was more pencil rather than bone segments) and looked at him with peeved topaz eyes. He tapped a black marker against his binder slowly. “Moving on, what is the typical lifespan of a selkie?”

  Soul thought for a moment, “Well… I’d say nineties to one-hundred. Maybe more. I’m in my twenties, twenty eight to be exact. I’m one of the warriors to protect my tribe. We protect our families from dangers such as other tribes and natural disasters.”

  Soul sniggered as the researchers jotted notes like mad. He answered questions as well as he could, despite some being exceptionally awkward or strange (he had no idea how he changed forms or how what his internal organs looked like. He supposed Stein would have been a better person to come up here.) The researchers seemed amazed at some of his responses, unable to comprehend how diverse his species was or how human yet animal they were. 

  He had to admit, they had different ways of keeping time (tides vs. hours, moons vs. months, etc..) Soul was impressed how they were able to keep him busy for so long. It was only until the obnoxious captain’s stomach growled did he ask Soul to leave.

  “What? Can’t I come ashore with you guys? I’ll even wear your shirts and crap,” Soul tried. Captain Star shook his head.

  He fixed him with a turquoise glare, “I’ve listened to you jabber on for two hours straight without bein’ able to get a good word in! It’s time to take a break from ye and yer big mouth.”

  Soul scoffed, “Oh really? Says the man who can speak for hours without a soul to listen. Can’t believe you can keep a wife with how much you talk. No woman in my pod would dare be with someone like you.” 

  Each blue hair on the man seemed to rise to their full height, “Phe! Women love me!” Maka rolled her eyes as Kid rubbed his temples soothingly. As the captain started ranting, Maka could feel her nerves tensing. The small bites from Soul only pushed her farther to the edge.

  She ground her teeth together in frustration, fighting herself from snapping. Their bickering drove a small spike into Maka’s brain. Combined with the sounds of a queazy Kid, and that stupid gull that wouldn’t shut its beak…

  “SHUT UP!” All the men stopped. And the gull too. Maka inhaled deeply in a seething rage, “Soul will come ashore for further researching. After, he will be returned back to this spot at six p.m. There are no arguments, unless you want to talk to my folder.” Green eyes of fire fixed sights upon the captain, “Now get going you useless vermin!”

  The captain blankly nodded and reeled in the anchor.

 Soul grinned as he was passed a grey teeshirt to put on when Maka asked, “You said pod elders, what type of government system do you have?” Soul smiled at her.

  “Let’s talk over some calimari.”