Dance with Devils headcanons for the boys going to a haunted house with their S/O
Happy Halloween, everyone~
You tug at Rem’s sleeve and point at the mock haunted mansion. “Come on! Pleeeease?”
You enter through the ramshackle front door to find yourselves in a room that looks like a Victorian parlor.
A woman in a black dress approaches you, holding a flickering lantern. “I trust you had a safe trip? Good to hear. Now, I have to warn you that it’s been quite active tonight. I wish you luck with him.” She gestures with the lantern towards the next door.
Rem takes your hand and leads you towards the door.
The next room is what looks like a bedroom. A little girl sits on the edge of the bed, swinging her legs.
She stops at the sight of you. “Oh, hello. Are you here to take care of it?”
The girl points to what looks like a closet door. “He’s in there.”
You go to the door and try it. Nothing.
The room goes pitch black.
Behind you, light flares. You turn around.
The girl is standing in the middle of the room, staring at you and holding a kitchen knife. “It’s here to play.”
Rem’s grip on your hand tightens and he puts his other arm around your shoulders. “Are you okay?”
The room goes black again, then the lights turn on. The girl is gone.
“Are you sure about this?” Rem rubs your shoulders. “You’re shaking.”
“I’m fine. Just startled.”
“If you say so.” Rem moves you towards the other door, which leads to a narrow set of dark stairs.
You end up in what looks like a dining room, where two more girls are playing with their backs to you.
A woman in a grey dress and apron approaches you. Her eyes are black holes. “Are you here to see the girls? How lovely of you to come and play.”
The two girls turn around - their eyes are empty and their white dresses stained with blood.
You shriek in surprise and take a step back.
Rem pulls you behind him. “It’s okay, they’re not real.”
A few minutes later, you’re both standing outside again. Rem puts a hand on top of yours. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I thought I was braver than that...”
“Those are meant to scare people, and they’re all fake. You were doing fine up until then. There’s nothing wrong with that. But I take it there will be no more haunted houses for you?”
He takes your hand and leads you off towards the carousel.
“Butterfly, if you wanted to spend time in a carnival, we should have just gone to my dreamworld.”
You shake your head. “While I do love having your dream one to ourselves, the crowds and the buzz are part of the fun.” Your eyes settle on an attraction next to a teacup ride. “Urie! Look, a haunted house! You don’t have one of those in your dreamworld.”
Urie’s smile freezes on his face for a moment. “No, I don’t.”
You grab his hand. “Let’s go in!”
Urie sighs. “If you like.”
“I would go anywhere with you, Butterfly.”
You roll your eyes and walk up to the haunted house, which is designed to look vaguely like a circus big top, complete with actors dressed as circus actors.
“Come in, we’ve been waiting~” sings one of them, her blank expression not matching her cheery tone.
Urie puts a hand around your waist. “Be sure to hold my hand if you get scared, Butterfly~”
You laugh and open the door.
The room is cluttered with circus props, with a clown sitting in the corner.
The actor stares at you and say nothing.
You proceed towards the door, her eyes following you as you walk.
Urie’s grip on your hand tightens.
A voice comes from behind you. “...Watch out for the trapeze artist.”
You turn around but the clown is gone.
Urie laughs. “It’s all just a show, Butterfly. Nothing more, nothing less.” He plants a kiss on your cheek and pushes aside the curtain in your way.
You enter a room full of circus costumes - most of which are torn and stained with blood.
A girl in a frilly, tattered dress stares at you dully. “Why are you here? She can find you here. Go! Go quickly!” She points at the door, which you both head through.
Urie’s grip on your hand tightens. “Don’t worry, Butterfly, it’s all a show, that’s all.”
“I’m not that scared yet, Urie!” You laugh.
“Aren’t you though?” A man in a tattered magicians costume appears in front of you. “You SHOULD BE!”
Urie jumps and glares at the man.
The magician runs out cackling like a lunatic.
“Urie... do you not like haunted houses?”
Urie reddens. “Butterfly - ”
“I wouldn’t have asked you if I’d known.”
“You wanted to.” He pouts slightly. “These haunted houses don’t exactly scare me - I’ve seen much, much more terrifying things. I do find them unpleasant though. I don’t like being shouted at and having the actors try to startle me, it’s unsettling. I’m fully aware it’s a show but even so.”
You kiss him. “We’ll walk through to the end, and then no more of this. And thank you.” You put your arm around his waist and walk towards the next door.
“A haunted corn maze?” Mage eyes the sign over the entrance, directing his flashlight up and illuminating the word “Welcome”.
“Yeah, one of my friends did it last year. She said it was fun. You want to?”
“You’re not scared, are you?”
A minute later you’re heading into the maze, Mage practically dragging you behind him. “Okay, so we just have to find our way out?”
“Pretty much. It’s not big so if we get lost we can call for help and they’ll come get us out.” Your boots squelch in the mud as you advance between the cornrows. “And no using magic on the actors or attacking them, they’re not getting paid enough to get struck by lightning.”
“Yeah, there’s people in costume who come out and try to scare you.”
“Not like they could scare - ”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” A clown with a chainsaw jumps out of the stalks and runs at you.
Mage freezes for a split second, eyes wide.
You leave the clown’s cackling in the distance as he tears through the cornstalks, straight through to the end of the maze.
Once he stops, he sets you down and turns back to see the new path he’s created through the maze, the chainsaw-wielding clown staring at you at the end of it.
“No haunted corn mazes anymore?”
“...Let’s get out of here before anyone else sees what we did.”
Shiki pulls on your arm. “Let’s go into the Haunted House. Come on~”
You roll your eyes and go along with him. It’s just a carnival haunted house made to look like a hospital. It’s not like anything in there is any kind of real terror. Except for Shiki.
You go through the front door into what looks like a waiting room.
The nurse sitting behind the desk looks up at you and smiles. “The doctor is waiting for you, my dears. Go right on in~”
Shiki puts his arm around your waist and opens the door for you. You step into the doctor’s examining room, where a man in a dingy white coat and holding a clipboard beckons you towards a examining chair with dilapidated leather straps. “Come, sit down, I’ll examine you.”
Shiki’s eyes lock on the straps and he plops himself down in the chair, putting his hands out to be restrained.
You and the actor exchange glances. You shake your head and grab his hand, pulling him off. “Shiki, no.”
The actor goes on, explaining that you’re being committed the madhouse and sending you through into the next room. The dingy room is lined with beds, and several are occupied with patients.
“Are you new?” A woman in a ragged nightdress ambles up to you like a zombie, staring at you with huge eyes. “Come, lay down and sleep... forever....”
Shiki puts an arm around your waist. “Are you feeling sleepy?”
You glare at him and say nothing.
A man approaches you, holding a syringe. “...I’m hungry... I want to eat... I like eating flesh... one toe? Please just one?”
Shiki puts himself in front of you.
He removes his shoe, then his sock, and holds out his foot for the man. “As many as you want.”
The actor blinks a little.
“The pain... it would be so exciting...” Shiki moans.
You pull Shiki’s sock back on, then put his foot back in the shoe. “Let’s go, Shiki.” You grab his wrist and pull him past the bewildered actors, through the door, and past the bloodied nurse who jumps out screaming.
Shiki moans again at the screaming actor.
You tow him past all the scares, ignoring them all until you’re past them and at the exit in the sunlight.
You release his wrist. “Don’t freak out the actors, Shiki.”
Shiki pouts. “Meanie~” He puts an arm around your waist and kisses you on the cheek. “ Let’s go do something else.”
“Are you sure?” Lindo frowns at the haunted house, which has been made up to look like a red and white circus tent.
“I can handle it, Lindo! I’m not a little kid!”
“Fine.” He pays the lady and the front and leads you forward through the doors.
You find yourself in a room with red and white striped circus tent walls and multiple exits with curtains.
A man dressed as a bloody clown stares at you both. “Well, take your pick, I can’t wait all day.”
Lindo’s grip on your hand tightens. It’s kind of cute how protective he is, even if it’s just a fake horror clown. You squeeze his hand back and push back the curtain in front of one of the doors.
You follow the narrow, dim tunnel behind it, only to come out one of the other doors and back into the room with the clown.
The clown smirks at you. “Aw, are you lost?”
Lindo glares at him and pulls you through another curtain. This one leads you to a small, similarly dim room littered with circus props.
A little girl carrying a doll runs up to you. “Please, he’s after me! Run!” The little girl runs past you and disappears.
Lindo leads you forward through the narrow exit.
“Hey there!” A bloodied clown jumps at you, holding a butcher’s knife.
Lindo scoops you into his arms and bolts.
He runs past all the other scares, ignoring the trapeze artist with no eyes and the ragged, bloodied ringmaster brandishing a whip, vaulting over several pieces of circus equipment.
He doesn’t stop until he runs through a striped curtain and the frigid night air hits you.
He stops and looks around at the other carnival attractions. The brightly lit carousal, the maze of mirrors, the Ferris wheel in the distance. His eyes are still wide and his hands are shaking slightly.
“Lindo... what was that?”
He seems to see you for the first time. “Oh! I’m sorry. That was stupid of me. I was startled.” He sets you on your feet.
He seems oddly perturbed. Odd. It was just a clown... wait. “Lindo... are you afraid of clowns?”
Lindo’s face turns as red as his hair. “...they’re creepy.”
“You’re an exorcist who sees demons on a regular basis and clowns scare you?”
He avoids your gaze and stares at the boyfriend.
You laugh and kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you for protecting me.”
He blushes and puts an arm around your waist. “Let’s go do something else that doesn’t involve those freaks.”
“...You know these are fake and these are all just actors and special effects, right?”
You sigh. “Of course I do, Roen. But it’s fun!”
Roen sighs and pays, following you into the mortuary themed attraction.
The room you enter is decked out in flowers, with a coffin in the center.
A woman in a black dress leads you forward towards the coffin. “Hello, I’m the director here. I’m so sorry for your loss. Would you like to say goodbye one last time?”
You dig him in the ribs with your elbow and he lifts the lid of the coffin.
A woman in a white dress with bloody nails jumps out of the coffin, gasping. “They locked me in there! Get out! Save yourself!” She sprints past you into the back room.
The woman in the black dress sighs and shepherds you around the coffin towards the back room.
Roen puts an arm around your waist. He seems... tense? Strange...
The next room is also full of flowers, but filled with rows of caskets and lit by candles.
The lids on the caskets pop up and bloodied bodies rise from them.
You shudder and Roen’s grip on you tightens. He’s not getting scared, is he? if anything he should be finding this ridiculous.
Roen reaches behind you and tries the door. It doesn’t open.
He frowns and glances at the woman in the black dress, who seems confused and tries it herself.
Roen walks you forward through the actors, who are very close.
He pushes you in front of the door. “Stand here and don’t move.”
You turn to see the actors have all stopped and are staring at him.
“Did I give the Fuserhof House offense when I fought you last, Lilith?”
One of the actresses shimmers and transforms into a woman in a long black dress. “Leave him alive, but she can die.”
One of the bloodied actors lunges at you.
Roen steps in front of you, blocking your attacker, and, putting two fingers in his mouth, gives a sharp whistle.
Lilith glowers at him. “She’s only a human, she ought to be your shield, not you hers.”
Roen sighs. “As always, you’re not paying attention. Do you remember what happened in our last fight?”
You follow her gaze to see two hounds tearing at her shadow.
She screams and vanishes.
All the actors collapse to the floor.
Roen sighs and gives you a hug, pulling you against his chest. “No more haunted houses.”
You nod and return the way you came.
