#dancer's delite

[ohlehdewwwit]

In case you didn't know, I'm the Director and Choreographer of a hip-hop and contemporary dance group called Dancer's Delite, born in the heart of Kalihi on the island of Oʻahu, Hawaiʻi. We have a once in a lifetime opportunity to travel to New York City, the birthplace of Hip-Hop, and it would mean everything to me and my students if you could help. Every penny counts, and we appreciate anything and everything. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Click the link to donate :) and see a video and cool pics of my talented and amazingly deserving young dancers.

[ohlehdewwwit]

almost nothing went as planned this week.  and while it sucked, i’m gonna look at it as a blessing in disguise.  it’s a sign that we needed time to decompress, to rest, and to gather ourselves.  with all of the stress, i could feel that we were rushing into something that weren’t REALLY comfortably prepared for.  so yeah, i’m upset about concert needing to be pushed back.  i’m upset that we have to pay salaries for security when we’ve NEVER done it before.  i’m upset that i have to pay another $1000 for a reprint of shirts cause the guy who did it the first time did it in a shitty way.  i’m upset that we spent money printing fliers that are no longer valid.  i’m upset that we have to disappoint so many audience members.  but this was a situation that we really couldn’t help.  the facilities were not up to par to have guests.  anyway, we’ll be 1000000% ready when we come back on the 3rd.  i’m appreciative of the chance to improve and to slow down a little bit because i feel like i’ve been going 0 to 100 every day, and i’m losing steam.  i just need some time to breathe.  whew.  OHLEHDEWWWIT.

[ohlehdewwwit]

i think the saddest thing i heard last night was this: "the cheerleaders and the football team lost. we were the only ones from farrington who won something, and no one came to support US." uggghhhhh my kids deserve the world. i wish i could give it to them.

[ohlehdewwwit]

the world does not revolve around you.  MY world does not revolve around you.  just because i have to attend to other people and other things does not mean i don't love you anymore.  i'm sick of being made to feel guilty about doing what i need to do for my group as a whole.  

i know i may sound hypocritical because i acted in a very similar way last year (in a much different context), but as much as i hated sections of last year and as much as last year made me want to die in many ways, it was one of the greatest lessons i've ever received.  it was a huge learning opportunity.  and it was a huge wake up call as well.  i'm NOT the same as i was before.  and i'm pretty proud of that fact because i was too clingy.  too emotional.  too inclined to take everything personally.  i threw too many pity parties for myself.  i played the victim too often.  i pointed blame on other people and always had a way to defend what i was doing, even if it was completely off-base and, for lack of a better term, stupid.  let's just say last year allowed a great deal of time for self-reflection and "growing up."  i refuse to be that person who is used and taken advantage of for always being nice.  i'm working on standing my ground and telling it how it is, even if it makes the person i'm talking to dislike me for a little while.  maybe i don't need to be liked.  i do, however, need to be respected.  i demand it.  i deserve it.  

anyway, i digress.  yes, i'm different than i was, but that doesn't mean i'm worse.  you just think i'm worse because i'm not giving you everything you want like i did last year.  i'm not making sacrifices in order to make you happy.  i'm not putting you before all of my other responsibilities.  i'm sorry if it makes you feel like i don't care about you; i do care about you.  i care about all of my kids very much.  i can't drop everything and everyone to cater to you at all times.  i don't have the time.  i don't have the energy.  if that's gonna be a problem, you either need to readdress the way in which you look at certain situations, or you need to kindly see yourself out.  i refuse to have drama this year.  it's all squashed.  so please don't bring any of it back.  thanks.

[ohlehdewwwit]

had a good time choreographing a bit to "am i wrong" for tomorrow's rehearsal. :) hope the keiki like it!

[ohlehdewwwit]

slowly, but surely, things are starting to come together.  sent all of the edits to amy because she said she was down to help me out with that.  speaking of which, i need to make sure i have her accurate shirt size to add her to the list.  we're still at the point of not necessarily having a "legit" venue, but we can make the gym werrrkkkkk.  our circumstances this year are unfortunate, but we don't need fancy lights to express our talents and the hard mother effing work we put into all of this.  plus, if the lights are on, it's easier to see our costumes (which we spent more money on this year than ever before).  

i have some ending/transition choreo to make up for tomorrow, but i need to save that for later this morning because it's after 2am, and i'm fricken exhausted from cutting music for the past several hours.  i have to go buy the unconditionally ribbons as well as the vine t-shirts tomorrow.  i completely forgot to look for the fabric paint while i was at walmart tonight, so i'm gonna also have to do that.  

i wanna finish all of this by the time i leave for california next week so that i'm leaving my kids with all the necessary tools and materials they'll need to continue rehearsing on their own.  i have to also figure out all of our formations, again, for the third time, because i have to keep removing people from dances.  it's frustrating, yes, but it has to be done.

the shirt list needs to be made and counted.  we're not even really set on the design yet, and the printer is taking a longer time than usual to vector the design.  i hope he finishes soon so that we'll know what we're working with.  good news is he's going to actually screen the design this year instead of whatever he did last year that felt awkward on our backs.

i also need to complete choreography for two returnee pieces that are missing choreo (applause and hold on we're going home) as well as choreo for TWO (count 'em), TWO senior songs.  holyjeezuslordoflife.  it's my fault for procrastinating all of this (to be completely honest, i've been avoiding it because the stress build up was getting too much to handle, and i didn't wanna end up in the ER again), but i promise to be done with it by the time i leave.  it HAS to be.  

my kids deserve the very best.  and although we won't have fancy lights or whatever like we had last year, i'm still happy, elated, and proud that my kids will be able to express their talents for their peers, families, and friends.  i'm really trying to stay positive and make the best of fairly unfortunate circumstances, as i'm sure my kids are doing as well, so that we can still put on a kick ass show.  dees for life, mayne.

[ohlehdewwwit]

i'm actually just trying really hard to stay calm through everything. it seems like if it's not one thing, it's something else. and this concert season has been unnecessarily stressful. i know this'll be worth it in the end. i love my kids more than anything in the world, and i NEED to get this together for them. whew. just one step at a time. we'll get there.

[ohlehdewwwit]

can i perform my own dance in my own concert?  is that a thing?  hahahaa i'm having so much fun with this partner dance, you have no idea. :D