15x11 rewrite where dean and sam don’t go to alaska but back to the bunker where cas is waiting for them, having struck out with heaven. cas is watching dean work on baby bc she’s still all fucked up and they’re listening to one of dean’s mixtapes.
this mixtape has a bunch of wistful old school love songs from the 60’s and cas comments that it’s different than some of his other mixtapes. not in a bad way, just different. and truthfully, dean had made it with cas in mind, while they were still separated nonetheless. he’d thought about giving it to him as a kind of olive branch, but he had never gotten up the courage to give it to him. but as soon as the words “listen baby” come out of marvin gaye’s mouth dean knows that he fucked up. he’s already blushing and shaking and cas has to be taking notice and probably thinks dean being super weird for no discernible reason.
and then dean doesn’t know if it’s the romantic music or the way cas is looking at him or how close he feels to cas after their recent heart to heart or he’s just so beaten down from the slapstick routine he’s been living out for the past couple days, but right now he feels brave enough to at least try. so he tells cas about his nitrious oxide vision and that he always thought he could be a good dancer if he wanted to. and it’s not as if he expected cas to make fun of him or brush it off, but he is surprised just how excited and encouraging he is.
much to dean’s shock and delight, cas offers to help him practice if he wants. they’re both super nervous and have no idea what they’re doing and being in such close proximity feels so intense that they might cause a supernova to collapse. they’re both trembling and full of such an anxious hope and they’re basically just hugging and swaying back and forth bc what do they know about slow dancing? but they’re pressed cheek to cheek and holding each other, that’s more than enough for both of them to be content.
song after song plays and they stay like that for quite a while, neither of them wanting to move, afraid to break the spell. cas is beginning to wonder if his one true moment of happiness could be simply holding dean like this. and well if that wasn’t his true moment of happiness then when dean breaks apart just enough to look him in the eyes and then staring at his lips. he had picked up on longing from dean in purgatory, but he couldn’t have dreamed this is what dean was truly longing for. and so cas decides in the haze of passion that maybe it’s worth it to risk his life if it means that he gets to kiss dean.
their lips are so close to touching and cas thinks that he’s probably going to cause a citywide blackout the moment they touch, he’s surprised he hasn’t already. but then dean’s phone starts ringing and it startles both of them and they pull apart. cas starts to sober up and realizes the true danger of what he was just about to do and knows that he can’t let himself to get close to dean like that again or the empty certainly will show up and take him. so he tells dean that he should take the call and before dean can even protest, he’s gone.
and of course, dean doesn’t know anything about the deal, so he’s left alone and confused and dejected, thinking he’s done something wrong and feeling like he’s just been punched him in the stomach. he smashes the mixtape like mary bailey smashes the record in it’s a wonderful life.