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@dangerousnotbroken is constantly coming up with unique and clever ways to streamline our lives and create a more accessible and our-specific-neurodivergences friendly home and life for us while I slouch around the apartment like a cave troll grunting at cats and muttering vaguely therapeutic-sounding things like a magic 8 ball that went to grad school for some reason and I gotta tell you, it is a goddamn miracle that she somehow thinks being married to me is the coolest thing ever.

#dangerkrewe #actual wives #she is so amazing and so creative #and I am disorganized and messy and devoid of anything even vaguely resembling executive function or motivation #but I’m really nice to her and super good at listening and being supportive #something for which her ex set the bar appallingly low #also I am SUPER good in bed #that cannot be ignored in this calculus #here allow me to wildly over share about my marriage #sorry babe

So I’m marrying @dangerousnotbroken in less than 48 hours and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#dangerousnotbroken #dangerkrewe

Your wedding pics and your story girl... It's the damn lesbian dream right there. Congratulations!!!

Thank you!! We are definitely living the lesbian dream. I couldn’t be happier or more in love with my marvelous wife. @dangerousnotbroken , I adore you!

#dangerousnotbroken #dangerkrewe #livin the dream #useless lesbians #actual wives #love you babe #imp answers #Anonymous

This is me, calling out my wife @dangerousnotbroken via screenshot. I’m purple.

“At the church store? Idk.”

I die.

#dangerkrewe #actual wives #trex nativity #oh this woman makes me laugh.

I don't like hydrangeas. I think they look ridiculous. What the hell kind of flower needs that many petals? Figure your shit out, hydrangeas.

There. I said it.

[This rant has been brought to you by Wedding Planning Tantrums, inc, which would be way more plentiful without @dangerousnotbroken]

#dangerkrewe #actual wives #wedding planning is so fucking stupid #seriously i don't care which specific flowers we use #just make them pretty #you're the goddamn florist #you figure it out

Les Mis: A Saga

So my fiancee, @dangerousnotbroken and her sister are watching Les Mis (movie musical) tonight. Mind, I’ve been trying to convince this girl that she needs to get into musicals pretty much since we made friends TWO YEARS AGO. No dice; she’s been entirely uninvested. So tonight, I am packing for a trip to Canada in which she will become my WIFE instead of my fiancee, so I’m puttering around and not actively reading my messages. I get back to my phone to find this:

Fiancee: “Hugh Jackedman is takentedb”*

Fiancee: “My God”

Fiancee: “The priest gives him the candlesticks and I go “that’s what the church is supposed to be” and sister’s like “if that’s what religion was everyone would be religious.””

Fiancee: Sends random cat picture apropos of nothing

Fiancee: “Fantine: *exists* Other woman: Look shes evil I have receipts!”

Fiancee: “I THOUGHT MUSICALS WERE HAPPY”

Fiancee: “Hey quick question how the fuck did I learn this song in fifth grade? What the fuck”

Fiancee: “I cannot stop dismantling Javert from an ethical perspective though like hes literally the most wrong and he thinks hes so right but he isn’t”

Me: Comes back

Me: holy shit

Me: “you know this is all going on tumblr right”

Fiancee: DO IT IM RIGHT

Fiancee: Javert is fucking wrong okay he’s the worst

*all typos hers, I assume because she was admiring how Jacked Hugh JACKMAN is

And that was just the first 30 minutes or so of the movie. Updates to be added.

#not spn #les mis #dangerousnotbroken #I get to marry her #dangerkrewe #I'm fuckin dying y'all #I THOUGHT MUSICALS WERE HAPPY #new tag #I'm starting that fucking tag #it needs to be a tag #it'll catch on #you'll see