My fellow foreigners in Seoul and surrounding areas, as I am sure you are aware, it has snowed. Brace yourselves for another week or two of death defying walks about town, complete with dodging rogue motorbike delivery men and of course long talks with God as you approach the 45-degree angled sidewalks. I for one cannot wait.
Lucky for us, the added danger to our daily routines is, but only one of the many joys the white weather bestows upon us. I of course use the term 'joys' loosely as they, along with bringing laughter to my life out of the sheer lack of common sense, also bring rage. The latter, mostly because I'm unreasonable. I shall rant further:
I feel I must have severely pissed somebody off in a previous life to be a tall man living in a short man’s world where the umbrella is a seasonal accessory. And by seasonal, I mean that they are apparently necessary in every season. I didn't get the memo. I’d never owned an umbrella before coming to Korea, never mind witnessing anyone toting one on a day it wasn't raining. For example, two nights ago I was out and it started to snow. Out came the swarm of umbrellas almost instantly, as if everyone had them locked and loaded, ready to draw. Suddenly, there I was, on a crowded sidewalk, dodging umbrellas in a way similar to the one needed when outrunning a crocodile (a ferocious zig-zagging pattern). For research purposes, I took a good look at everyone using these eye-poking, Mary Poppins-endorsed death machines and everyone had hats or hoods and huge coats which I guess just aren't enough to protect them from the falling toxic ash of what I can only guess are believed to be human remains. Seriously people, it's fucking snow. Put your umbrella away before you poke a poor tall white guy's eye out.
A woman and her trusty umbrella.
Yes, you are seeing this right. He is riding a bike and holding an umbrella.
2. The unsalted roads and sidewalks.
This one doesn't need much explanation. They don't bother to salt the roads or the sidewalks and a lot of the time don't even clear them. I don't know what the reason could be for this. Maybe the tax dollars just don’t cover it or maybe they want to build camaraderie as everyone takes to the streets, working like a well-oiled machine to shovel away that evil snow. I have asked Koreans and they swear to me they have seen a snow plow (though I am skeptical since I have seen what they use as a shovel) and that there is salt. I don't believe it but if it is the case, then the lack of snow removal can be attributed to only one thing; pure laziness. Not surprising. Despite the roads being an obstacle in my daily life, they do bring a smile to my face quite often, for one reason only; People bail and it's awesome!
3. The method of snow removal, you know, when they are feeling up to it.
This might be my favourite one and we've all seen it after a good snowfall. Men and women, almost always elderly 'shovelling' the sidewalk in front of their house or place of business, using a variety of different objects, none of which are meant to remove snow. They are typically down on all fours, or twos if they are sporting the Ajuma squat and wiping away the snow as best they can. I picture a dialogue at home going something like this;
Woman: Honey it's snowing, we need to clear the walkway.
Man: Well, the dustbin is dirty but I think I have a piece of an old cardboard box around here somewhere.
It's actually so rare to see someone using a shovel, that when I saw a man using one this morning, (photo evidence provided) I just had to let him know. I don't know if he understood what I said or what I meant by it, but I looked at him, pointed to the shovel gripped proudly in his hand, gave a thumbs up and simply said, "Doin it right!"
Just realised it's not even a proper snow shovel, but still an improvement.
