Pairing: Keith/Shiro, Dark!Keith/Shiro
Warning: Manipulation, Abuse (Kinda funny to just add this now)
Note: The parallels were super fun to write in this one.
The prod is back. Every muscle in his body spasms and screams. Twists him hard against his binds and keeps going. He’s beyond making noise. Unable to plead for mercy. Finally Keith stops, but the pain in his chest doesn’t go away. He’s light headed and there’s a streaking pain. Keith’s saying something but he can’t hear him. The world’s fading at the edges. Everything is slipping away. He can’t hold on…
There is a cacophony of noise all around him, none of it making any sense. His chest feels like it’s been kicked by a mule, and the whole world looks like it’s been painted in water colors. Somebody is pouring ink on his surroundings…
Someone is shining a light in his eyes. It hurts. He wants to turn away but can’t. “Takashi Shirogane” At least he thinks that’s what the deep voice says. He hasn’t heard his name mangled that badly in a long time, “Can you hear me?” He tries to nod, but his head still won’t move. Speaking just produces a cracked sound that might be generously interpreted as a yes. “Basic cognitive function seem to be intact. We’ll have to wait until he is more fully recovered to-”…
Keith sounds angry. “When will he wake up!”
“Give him time, my prince. His condition was dire.” The deep voice sounds familiar but he can’t quite recall from where.
“I have given you time. More than enough time, and he still isn’t conscious.” He should say something. Keith will be mad at him if he doesn’t…
Shiro feels okay. Not comfortable, but not in a terrible pain either. Opening his eyes he doesn’t recognize where he is. There is a niggling in the back of his head that tells him he should recognize this place, but he pushes it down. If he’s forgotten, he doesn’t want to remember.
“Ah good, you’re awake.” It’s the voice from before, and when Shiro turns his head he recognizes him. He one of the Galra doctors who treated his wound. He must be somewhere in the medical wing. Patient room?
“Drink this.” Something is shoved in his face, and he’s temporarily amused to find out the Galra have also invented the bendy straw. He’s got an awful thirst, so he doesn’t let the thought distract him from quickly taking a sip. He doesn’t feel fully quenched when it’s taken away.
The doctor pulls out a tablet and starts clicking away, “What is your name?” The doctor asks.
He fairly certain the guy already knows, but he isn’t masochistic enough to be sarcastic to Galra treating him, “Takashi Shirogane” He answers.
“How many fingers am I holding up” The doctor holds up two clawed fingers.
“Do you know what happened?”
Pain, he remembers so much pain, “I was tortured,” He whispers.
“Electrocuted to be precise. I told the prince that your system wasn’t strong enough for prolonged exposure, but does he listen to me. No, of course not.” The doctor grumbles, “Your mental functions don’t seem to have been effected from the lack of oxygen. Thank the Emperor. The fit that would be thrown if you came back an idiot.” The doctor finishes filling out whatever is on the tablet and sets it down, “The prince will be down in a moment. Try not to pass out again in the time it takes him to get here. You will not like how you are woken back up.” With that parting remark, he turns on his heels and leaves.
Thankfully, he doesn’t actually feel tired. It’s fairly easy to take in his surroundings while he waits. There is the standard unfamiliar technology. The hard but serviceable bed and pillow. Purple on literally every surface possible. Typical in all the ways a room in an alien ship can be. Keith arrives a few minutes, long before he can grow bored.
He’s surprised, when Keith comes in and there is nothing but relief on his face. He expected him to be angry for some reason. Keith rushes to Shiro’s bedside and drags him into a hug. His arms around him hurt, but it’s the happiest he’s seen him since refusing to fight. He dare not break the moment by complaining. It still doesn’t last.
Keith lets him go and, before Shiro can speak, punches him, “Are you happy now?” Keith yells while Shiro tries to recover from the shock, “You nearly died.” He raps his knuckles against the electrical burn on Shiro’s chest, making him flinch in pain, “After all the work I put in to bringing you back. You can’t just be grateful. You always have to push.” Keith shoves him away, and begins to pace the room gesturing wildly, “Refuse to do as you’re told, and look where it’s gotten you. Your heart stopped Takashi.” Keith turns back to him and jabs his burn in emphasis, “The doctors told me you might wake up a vegetable.” The strength fades from his voice and his face crumples. Shiro thinks Keith might cry, “Why do you do this to yourself?” He asks, pulling Shiro back up to sitting, “Why couldn’t you just do what I asked?” He’s being hugged again, desperately tight.
“You better be.” Keith says, letting him go, “You aren’t allowed to leave me again.”
Keith’s performance has been suffering. He didn’t notice at first, so obsessed with making sure that his brand new set of issues didn’t interfere with his own, but as he has grown more comfortable, he’s started to see outside of himself again. Keith was very obviously losing a step.
The first time he asks, Keith just says he’s a bit tired and tells him not to worry about it. Shiro doesn’t press. He trusts Keith to handle the problem now that he’s been made aware others are noticing, and for a while he does. He pulls himself back together. Watches the other paladins’ backs, and if he is unusually quiet, well Shiro is to, so he has no room to judge.
Eventually, he starts slipping again. Banging into rocky surfaces when precision flying Red. Failing to fully guard Lance’s back during group exercises. Taking one too many hits when solo training with the bots. The final straw is when Keith nods off during breakfast. Shiro has to intervene. He’s the leader of Voltron, and it would be a dereliction of duty to allow this to progress any further and potentially endanger one of their missions.
He’s not completely cruel. He doesn’t insist on speaking with him then and there. Even if it still makes his chest tighten to be alone with him, he won’t call him out in front of the others. Shiro waits until he can get him alone and pulls Keith into a side room to confront him.
Keith doesn’t look good. There are dark bags under his eyes, and his whole body seems to be sagging from exhaustion. Shiro feels slightly guilty for letting this go on so long.
“How much rack time have you been getting?” Shiro asks, cutting straight to the point.
“Seven hours,” Keith bullshits him without missing a beat.
“Don’t lie to me,” Shiro says, “You look like a walking zombie. How much sleep have you been getting?” He asks again.
“Enough,” Keith replies obstinately. Brick walls had nothing on Keith Kogane.
Shiro scrubs at his face, “You nearly face planted in your food goo this morning.” He reminds him, “If that’s enough, I’d hate to see what too little looks like.”
“I’m handling it, okay,” Keith says, then adds, “You don’t have to worry.”
“Keith, I’m responsible for this team’s performance.” The same thing he’d been telling himself when working up to this conversation in the first place, “It’s my job to worry.”
“That’s the fucking problem.” Keith mutters.
Keith flushes, apparently he hadn’t meant to say that out loud, “No, forget I said anything. I’ll go get some sleep. Your leaderly duties are satisfied.” Keith makes a break for the exit, but Shiro blocks his path. Bodily block the only door to the room.
“I’m not just going to forget it.” He says, letting some of his building frustration leak into his voice. Since when had Keith been so unwilling to just tell him what he’s thinking? “Explain what you mean, how is my worrying the problem.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Keith shouts, “You’re getting it all wrong.” Keith crosses his arms, in a way that reminds Shiro of giving yourself a hug.
“Then tell me, and I can get it right.” Neither of them are going anywhere until this is resolved. He’s not letting interpersonal issues compromise Voltron.
Keith knows him. Knows Shiro can be just as stubborn if not more stubborn than him, when he puts his mind to it. He doesn’t try to out wait him. “You were gone again, Shiro.” Keith starts, then seems to be lose himself on the way to next sentence.
“You mean when I changed universes.” Shiro offers to get him started again.
It does the trick, “Yeah, I’d finally gotten you back, after so long we were together again and things were right.” Keith says, “Then, then you disappeared! There wasn’t a body, just like last time. Poof gone without a trace. We-I didn’t even know if you were still alive.” Keith’s eyes are somewhere around chest level, but Shiro gets the feeling he’s seeing a empty cockpit, “Even once we found out what happened, space is 99 percent empty. Slav calculated the odds of you switching to some place with oxygen and survivable temperature ranges. They were astronomical. He thought we were bringing your body back for a funeral.”
“I hadn’t thought about it,” He’d been so preoccupied with his own issues and not letting anyone know exactly what happened, it hadn’t even occurred to him to wonder what the others had been through, “I’m sorry.” He means the apology. He should have realized what his disappearance would have been like for Keith.
“Don’t apologize, you didn’t do it on purpose.” Keith absolves him off handedly, “Besides, that’s not the real issue.”
“Then what is it?” Shiro asks.
“I always believed you were alive. Just like after the ‘pilot error’,” He spits the words in disgust, “I knew you were still out there. I just had to find you, but this time it doesn’t feel like you came back.” Keith takes a deep breath before continuing, “I used to have nightmares about looking for you at the Garrison or in the desert and never being able to find you.” Keith confesses with a sniffle, “They stopped when you crash landed back on Earth. I thought they were gone for good.” Keith reaches up to wipe at his eyes roughly, “Then you went missing and I started having them about the Castle. Except this time they didn’t stop when we found you. You’re here, but you don’t feel like your really here.” Keith’s head is leaning forward, as if he’s trying to hide his face from view, and it’s all Shiro’s fault. He’s the one who’s been pushing Keith away without proper explanation. He the one who’s been treating his lover like a leper with no real time frame for them to come back together. He did this to him.
“Keith,” Shiro says softly. Carefully placing his arms around the smaller man. Keith leans into the hug, fingers clenching in Shiro’s shirt, and head buried against his shoulder. He feels dampness where Keith is hiding his eyes.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Keith sobs, shaking his head without removing it from its spot, “I shouldn’t be telling you this. You have your own problems. I’m so sorry.”
“Shhhh, it’s okay.” Shiro whispers, gingerly petting Keith’s hair, “You didn’t do anything wrong. Everything is going to be okay.” He hesitantly presses a kiss to Keith’s temple, and feels him begin to cry harder.
