— limerence.
pairing: dark!matt murdock / fem!reader
genre: dark content, smut
wordcount: 3.2k
warnings: noncon, dubcon, gaslighting, manipulation, dirty talking, dark content, mental abuse, vaginal fingering, oral (receiving) captivity, pain, sadism, some physical abuse, non consensual knife play, reader suffering from stockholm syndrome, blood, blood play
summary: He could hear things happening a mile away, smell the hint of gunpowder before any shot was taken, you couldn’t run from him. Not as long as you lived in Hell’s Kitchen.
a/n: matt is NOT a good guy in this, he’s pretty damn despicable so if he’s your comfort character and you don’t want to read about him doing such things do NOT read this.
“I told you this would happen–”
Your blindfold was soaking wet from all the tears you had shed and your mouth was filled with the bitter taste of iron. Body still trembling, you held your breath and curled up into a ball. Your wrists burned from the wire tied around them, it wouldn’t have been that bad if you hadn’t struggled. The wires painfully dug into your skin and your body informed you it would leave marks with pain. You gritted your teeth, your nostrils flaring as you breathe. You were so close to escaping. So damn close. But of course you had gotten yourself caught by some common thugs. They had beaten you, both physically and mentally, but you hadn’t so much as let out a peep. You knew something worse awaited you if you did.
But alas, the thugs saw this as a challenge, they made a game out of it. Whoever could make you scream would get a reward.
You don’t remember what sent you over the edge– the punches, the kicks to your stomach, the belittling, the sharp knives gliding across your skin, oddly enough nothing sexual happened but it fittingly hurt like hell. In the end they made you scream, not only that they made you scream out for him. The person behind your silence. Tears streamed down your face as you did so, your throat feeling sore as you screamed out again and again, until your voice became hoarse.
Now he towered over you, his tone and demeanor condescending. The room was filled with the scent of blood, the blood of those who almost beat you to death. Two fingers pulled at you blindfold and despite your vision being blurry you could see. The room was dark, only the soft lights of nearby street lamps lighting the inside. You didn’t dare to look up to him, to Matt. You felt ashamed, angry, weak. He knelt in front of you, his hand now against your cheek, caressing the shallow cut with the inside of his thumb.
“Are you alright?”
Tears pricked the corner of your eyes. Why did he sound so caring? So gentle? You felt suffocated. Bells rang in your head, you needed to run.
“I hate you–”
“Can you get up?”
He ignored the venom in your voice and as a response you chose to ignore him. Matt sighed, as he got up he took a hold of your wrist and threw you over his shoulder as if you weight nothing. You didn’t protest against the rough treatment, god knows you’ve been through worse tonight, you only winced when his shoulder dug into your stomach. Despite not making a noise of discomfort he seemed to hear you and slightly adjusted your body, now his shoulder dug into slightly above the pained area.
“I told you not to run off,” he spoke as he started to walk in a direction you could vaguely recall as “home”. “Why do you always choose to ignore warnings?”
You didn’t say anything. In all honesty you didn’t know how to reply to him, he was like olive oil always floating above water. Whatever you said he would counter it with questionable, yet undeniable, logic. Lawyers truly were terrifying.
“I can’t keep protecting you like this,” he continued, his voice cracking at the end. “I thought you loved me. Why do you always run?”
You knew where this was going. His tone of voice was slowly shifting into one of anger, disappointment, resentment. You saw this exact same scene play out many times before. He would fear for you, cry for you, worry about you– But as soon as you were safely tucked under his wings he would be angry with you, wanting to punish you. He would scold and berate until you admitted you were wrong. You always did in the end. In the end it was foolish for you trying to escape him, the daredevil of all people. He could hear things happening a mile away, smell the hint of gunpowder before any shot was taken, you couldn’t run from him. Not as long as you lived in Hell’s Kitchen.
When you once more answered him with silence he gave up on trying to have a conversation. The reason for it was partially because it couldn’t have been easy jumping from rooftop to rooftop with a person hanging over your shoulder, the other was that he was waiting to arrive home. There he could do whatever, he also knew your psyche was weak. Being in a familiar, unpleasant environment– at least for you– would make you break down easier. He was in a tough spot with the Kingpin, you doubted he also wanted to deal with you. At least, not like this.
The two of you entered through the window. Matt gently placed you on the bed and quickly disappeared to, you assumed, the living room to bring the first aid kit. Your body ached as you blankly stared at the ceiling. How long have you been trapped? Five months? Seven? Time was a concept you knew nothing of anymore. You only knew that it was January and that was it. Your mind swirled, surely there would be ramifications of your disobedience. But Matt still seemed to be in a mood of worry, which was equally as sickening as the times he was filled with rage. To you, the gentle moments hurt far far more. It reminded you of a time where he was a nice, broke lawyer working with his best friend. Matt Murdock was someone to fall easily in love with. You hadn’t thought of the possibility that his version of love was a twisted, sick kind that poisoned you inside and out.
He came back with a white metal box in hand, it had a comically large red plus on it. Matt sat down right next to you, the bed dipped under his weight. Then he opened the tin and turned to you, his eyes looked past you.
“Where are you hurt?” he asked.
You thought about not replying but you couldn’t deny that you weren’t in pain.
“Cut wound on the left side of my face, one above my brow, the right corner of my lip. They kicked me multiple times in my stomach– Ah, also my wrists were cut from the wire they tied me in.”
Anger simmered in his eyes but you ignored it, without saying anything Matt took out a cotton ball and after dabbing it with an antibiotic he started to clean the wounds. You hissed at the burn and that seemed to edge him further, his fingers pressing more forcefully against them.
“Have you learned your lesson?” he asked, voice devoid of any emotion.
“Yes.” you answered automatically.
“You’re lying.”
“What do you want me to say Matt?” you snapped, voice raising slightly as you glared at him. “I hate being locked up here. I can’t escape, I can’t do anything. Even if I do manage to find an opening–” tears blurred your vision. “Something like this always happens, I can’t get away from you,”
“Maybe that’s because you’re not supposed to,” his voice was soft again. He threw the dirtied cotton to the floor and pulled out another one. “How many times are you going to try this? Isn’t the answer obvious, you’re supposed to be with me and stay by my side.”
A tear slid down your burning cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb.
“One of these days I’m not going to be there to save you–”
Your eyes went wide. For some reason the message behind the sentence stung, both physically and emotionally. Something clenched at your heart and a knot formed in your throat. Why on earth did the sole threat of him not being there for you scared you so much? Wasn’t that what you wanted? To get away from him? Your ears rang, he was still talking but you couldn’t hear him. With a ragefull fit you balled your hands and attempted to punch him. Matt smoothly moved out of the way, making you stumble forward and almost fall out of bed. Before you could pull back he grabbed your fist and bent it, jolts of pain shot throughout your body. A scream ripped from your throat and without any warning his hand cut through the hair and slapped you across your face. You gasped, your free hand immediately going to your cheek, cupping it as you tried to soothe the pain.
“Maybe I give you too much credit. You clearly can’t make smart choices,” you could only describe his tone as a growl. Your breath hitched as he climbed between your legs, still holding onto your arm and twisting it whenever you moved. “Why the sudden anger? Was it because I told you I won’t be there one day? I can’t keep playing your games.”
“Games?” you spat, your heart beating madly against your chest. “You’re a monster! I don’t want to be here!”
Matt stilled, his furrowed eyebrows softened and suddenly he let you go. You immediately pulled your hand close to your chest and rubbed your wrist. He slid off of you, got up and gestured towards the door.
“Fine, leave then.”
“What?”
Your eyes were wide with shock, your mouth agape as you stared at him.
“You heard me, leave. If you truly don’t want to be here just go.”
You scoffed, “You expect me to believe that? You’ll come and find me–”
“No I won’t,” he lowered his arm, turning his head towards you. “If you actually leave right now, you’ll never see me again. That’s a promise.”
The tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife. Blood rushed to your head and white noise filled your ears. The thing about Matt was that he always followed through, be it a reward or punishment– he always followed through. Should you leave right now you wouldn’t ever hear from him again, never see him again, never…never be touched by him again… With shaky legs you started to move, first your toes touched the carpet then the entirety of your feet. You felt like you were dipping your toes into icy cold water. You got up, your legs like jello, and you started to walk.
Deep down you were happy that Matt couldn’t see. You wouldn’t want him to see your eyes filled with glossy tears. With each step you took your condition became worse, you trembled as if you were cold, the inside of your palms and armpits sweating uncontrollably. He probably could smell that. You sobbed. Why weren’t you running? It felt like you were walking backwards. Your head spun and you stumbled. The door suddenly looked so tiny, would you even fit? Your heart throbbed, you wouldn’t see Matt Murdock again. This was it, the pain, the anger, it would all vanish as soon as you walked through that door.
You whimpered, another muffled cry leaving your lips. Memories of Matt’s smile filled your head, the way he laughed when you told a story, the way he took care of you after sex, whether it be vanilla or kinky. He would always make you feel good. Prepared you breakfast before he left, bringing you your favorite brand of chocolate when he returned. He would make you feel like the most important person in his life.
You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut as you tried to think clearly. No. He was a monster. He didn’t let you see anyone else, only Foggy and maybe sometimes Karen– but only if you were good enough. He would hit you when you ran away and accused you of enjoying it. He would manipulate you, berate you and trick you. He would make you feel like the most worthless person in his life. He would– He would–
Just an inch away from the door you completely broke down, your knees scraping against the floor, you sobbed. Tears streamed down your face and your nose started to run, you sniffled as you wiped your face. Your wrists burned when you did. Then you felt him. Matt. Kneeling next to you with open arms, you buried your face into his chest, crying and sobbing as he held you.
“Do you understand now?” his chest rumbling as he spoke. “You desperately want to be taken care of. Looked after by someone who loves you. No one ever has. You want to be protected. These are all the things I can give you, only if you stop resisting.”
“I’m sorry,” you hiccuped, your hands clawing at his shirt. “Matt– It hurts.”
“I know it does,” there was that gentle, understanding voice again. “I’m here for you. I’ll always be as long as you’re good.”
You nodded, your face scraping against the fabric of his shirt. Matt picked you off of the floor and placed you on the bed, everything was a blur to you. You continued to cry, mumbling his name mixed with “sorry’s” and “thank you’s” . With the heel of your palms, you wiped away your tears, your cheek damp. You vaguely noticed him stripping you, only fully understanding you were naked when the cold air hit your burning skin. You hissed, finally lowering your arms. Matt was between your legs, a pocket knife in his hand as he spread your legs. Your eyes went wide, your body locking up as he went lower and lower.
“What’s that for?” you asked, voice barely a whisper.
“Punishment,” he replied. Your pulse quickened and he smiled, a low chuckle escaping his lips. “You did make me worry after all. It broke my heart. You might be sorry now but you know that I never skip punishments.”
You tried to shimmy away from him but he held your thighs firmly, the back of the blade gently digging into your skin. He disappeared between your legs, his breath ghosting over your core.
“Don’t worry you’ll feel good too. We’ll both feel good.”
You choked, “Not now, please. I– I’m sorry,”
“Like I said before, that’s not enough,” his tongue dipped between your folds. “I don’t want you to ever pull such a stunt again.”
You gasped when you felt his lips fully against your cunt. His tongue delved deeper, tasting you and feeling how wet you were getting. The way he moved his mouth against you made you feel dizzy, your back arched as you bit your bottom lip. Despite trying to keep your silence a whimper escaped. Matt’s tongue trailed up to your clit, closing his damp lips around it he sucked and pushed the tip of his tongue against it. Your thighs trembled, closing around his face as you placed your hand over your mouth. Enjoying yourself felt like something you shouldn’t be doing.
Matt pulled away from your core and you let out a breath of relief. You glanced up to him, his lips were glistening with your fluids, your heart thudded.
“You know,” he began as his fingers traced the inside of your thighs. “You can be as quiet as you want. I know you’re enjoying this.”
Without warning he shoved two fingers into you. You screamed, your hips bucking up to meet the digits. He laughed, pushing in even deeper. Your body trembled, tears flowing down your face. When he didn’t move his fingers further you whined, not thinking you start to roll your hips, moaning each time you pushed down.
“That’s it, good girl, just fuck yourself on my fingers–”
Much to your horror you felt the cold edge of a blade grazing against your stomach. You stopped, taking in short, sharp breaths. The sharp end softly dug into your skin and chafed. This time you held your breath, scared that if you made any sudden moves it would cut deeper. Whimpering, you balled your hands into fists, your nails digging into your skin. Matt pulled back the knife and you could feel the warmth of blood dripping down your skin. Then he curled his fingers, a jolt of pleasure running up and down your spine. You felt the blade on your skin once more, this time right below your breasts– Another cut. Matt thrusted his fingers at the same time, a scream ripped from your throat.
Your eyes were squeezed shut but his breathing alerted you that Matt enjoyed this. Sharp little breaths. A quick inhale. His fingers twitched inside of you, making you throw your head back as the knife disappeared again.
“Matt–” you sobbed. “Enough, please,”
“Why?” he asked, the warm edge of the blade touching your skin once more. “You’re enjoying this,”
He cut you again, scissoring his fingers at the same time. Your hips twitched up as you hoped for more. You were going insane. The pain and pleasure mixing together and forming a feeling indescribable. A knot formed in your throat.
“I’m scared,” you whispered.
This seemed to excite him. He started to fuck you with his fingers, your moans drowned out the squelching of his thrusts, the next time the blade dug into you a little bit deeper and cut you a little longer. You gasped, your lungs filling with air as your eyes shot wide open. Your stomach churned as heat gradually built in your core, your body quivered. Matt added another finger, the blade now cut your upper arm. You moaned.
“See,” he said between pants. “Tell me what your body is saying. Confess.”
“It feels good,” you shout automatically. “I’m going to cum– Can I cum?”
Your voice was filled with desperation. This time the blade left your skin for good, his hand replacing it. Matt rubbed the blood into your skin, his hands were stained with red. Pleased, he hummed.
“You can.”
Your body was like on autopilot. With his blessing you came, hard. Your cunt gushing and squeezing around his fingers as your whole body quivered. He chuckled, still moving his fingers as overwhelming waves of pleasure continuously washed over you. You cried out his name. Your mind felt like it was floating, your body now completely numb with pain and ecstasy.
When you finally came down from your orgasm, Matt pulled out his fingers. Wiping them on the sheets. You were panting, body still twitching. He crawled off of the bed and headed to the bathroom. You continued to lay there, your chest heaving as you tried to make sense of things.
Faint moans could be heard coming from the bathroom and soon Matt emerged, seeming satisfied and happy. You noticed that he had discarded his shirt. He quickly picked up the first aid kit he had left on the bedside table, he cleaned your wounds as you cried. But at that moment you weren’t quite sure why you were crying. He shushed you with added words of affirmation. Matt’s voice soothed you.
Matt laid next to you when he was done. He pulled you close, you winced but he didn’t care about your physical pain. His chest pressed into your naked, wounded body. Nuzzling the nape of your neck he placed a chaste kiss.
“I forgive you,” he said. “You did good.”
Your chest erupted with butterflies, your heart fluttering at his words. It shouldn’t have pleased you as it did but you didn’t care anymore. Matt would take care of you. Matt would love you. Matt would protect you.
As long as you obeyed.