My Soul Belongs to the Darkness: Confessions of My One True Love.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my interests—my sexuality and the parts of me that were hidden, then revealed over time. I came out as a lesbian at twenty‑one and, as I got older, began leaning into a more masculine‑presenting, alternative style.
I’m open about the media I love: I’m a gamer, an anime junkie, and a reader of fantasy and horror. I grew up devouring R.L. Stine—Goosebumps and Fear Street alike. I’m somewhat open about being a fiction writer, though I rarely share that side of myself. People judge creativity in ways that make it hard to be vulnerable about it.
I’m interested in many things, but there’s one I’ve never revealed to anyone—my go‑to music. I listen across genres. My father, a born‑and‑bred Puerto Rican, exposed me to a wide range of sounds. Yet one always gripped my soul: orchestra, especially dark orchestral or dark classical music. The dark‑wave era hits that same vein for me, and so does electronic music when it leans into ethereal and macabre. I’m drawn to soundtracks from games and films that use music to deepen immersion, to make the mood pulse beneath the story.
My mother was a pianist, so I grew up hearing her play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata most often. My father introduced me to Legend (1985), and that film changed me. My favorite scene is the dance—Lily, played by Mia Sara, moving with a shadowy figure until they merge and she becomes the bride of Darkness, all glamor and black‑dress mystique. Tim Curry’s presence sealed it.
I’ve played countless narrative‑driven games. The ones that stay with me are those that treat music as part of the storytelling—where orchestra and electronic sound intertwine. Bloodborne’s score is gut‑wrenching and gothic.
Cyberpunk 2077 uses orchestral swells for pivotal scenes.
Hellblade and Hellblade II mix dark folk drums and haunting vocals that linger long after you stop playing.
So, here it is—my secret revealed. Everyone around me assumes I’m all metal and rock. But no. My heart belongs to the dark orchestra.
