This Town
Chapter 13 of Dark Temptations
A/N- Hehe 🎢
Warning- ANGST, sweet fluff, violence, long chapter, just slight bit of explicit content, but nothing major.
Pairing- Dark!Poe x Skywalker!reader
(Let me know if want to be tagged)
————
“I thought we had more trust in each other, than to be hiding secrets from each other, Ben.” You argue in a sharp distasteful whisper. “Especially things like you talking to Rey through a force connection!”
Ben keeps looking down at the surface of the table and continues to hide his face behind his hair, giving no indication of what he truly was feeling. You hoped it was shame though.
“Because you do trust me right?” You ask in a much softer and hesitant tone, sitting back down in your seat on the booth and turning your head to try and meet his eyes that you notice only widen at your comment. “I know I’ve been absent for the past couple of months, but you still trust me right?”
“I do!” Ben quickly interjects, making you just as quickly press your question.
“Then?”
Ben simply shrugs and that causes your anger to heighten, making you stand from your seat abruptly and storm off to the cockpit of the Falcon. Where the silence is only imaginative and the company brings peace to your mind.
“Hey, junior.” Your uncle Han greets as he looks at you over his shoulder. “Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah,” you nod stiffly. “I’m fine. How much time until we reach Lothal?”
Your uncle Han looks back out to the transparisteel and shrugs. “Not long, now. Why? You excited for the grand meeting?” He asks sarcastically.
You scoff and cross your arms over your chest. “Super, can’t you tell?”
Your uncle Han looks back at the feigned excited expression you managed to express on your face and he laughs. “Well that makes two of us.”
“I told you already, Han that you didn’t have to come, I’m fine with Ben and y/n.” Your aunt Leia argues from the co-pilot seat.
“And what was I supposed to do at base? Sit on my ass and wait for you to return?”
“Exactly.”
You can’t help the genuine smile that grows on your lips at hearing them both bicker so lightheartedly. It has been so long since you’ve seen them both and even longer since you heard them bicker like this. The last time you had seen them it was so little and you were barely in the mood to talk. Not like that has changed much.
“Where’s chewbacca? Why didn’t he come?” You question curiously, from the corner of your eye catching as artoo and Ben joined everyone in the cockpit.
“He had to stay at base,” your uncle Han answers, “but he sends his greetings to the both of you,” he looks over his shoulder again and looks from Ben and you. “He says he misses you both, he says he can’t wait until you two join us out on runs again.”
You quirk your brow and smirk. “He does?”
“Yes.”
You snicker and hide your smile with your hand. “Well when you see him tell him I miss him too. Just like I missed you too uncle Han.”
He instantly spins back around to look away from you and tries to act nonchalant about your comment. “I knew that.”
From the transparisteel, you see your aunt Leia's reflection roll her eyes at the behavior her husband displayed and even after years still couldn’t really take. She tried to comment on it, but he was quick to change the subject as the ship jumped out of hyperspace and saved him from having to hear any more of it. “We’re here kids, get ready.”
Wanting to meet Ben’s gaze as a force of habit to silently pick at his fathers doings, this time you restrain yourself since you were angry he had hid that he was talking to Rey through a weird force connection in the past couple of months. Instead, this time you look out to the incoming scenery of Lothal; noticing that it was unchanging since the last time you had been here with he who shall not be named. The fields were still dry and beige, the sky was grey as if it was going to pour at any moment. The rock spirals were still scattered around the planet, the town was the same and just as old—this time instead of landing in the middle of nowhere, you had the pleasure of arriving on a landing pad by the elegant white castle. This time you were greeted by overdressed guards and droid butlers. It was overwhelming. You wanted to go back home already.
“Artoo, if you could be a friend and hold one of my lightsabers, yeah?”
The old droid reveals a small opening and takes your lightsaber, beeping back an assuring response once the saber has disappeared inside him. You offer him a small smile and then lift your head to watch the scenery painted outside the castle, not being able to help but be in awe at how everything outside looked like from inside the castle; it was clear, you could clearly see the fields, it wasn’t like how you imagined it would look like from so far in the ground. The castle was almost made entirely out of thick glass, which explained why from afar the building looked white and elegant.
Albeit the calmness that such a scenic view brought, was ruined by the sound of the advisor's voice bringing back your realization of where you were, and why in fact you were here. “General Organa, if you could please stay standing here until I announce your presence to Lothals Governor.”
“Of course.” Your aunt Leia agrees sweetly, proceeding to watch as the tiny woman marched into the intended gathering room and did as she said in a loud booming voice that was heard even with the golden doors closed.
“Governor Starwind, may I formally present to you, the General of the resistance and Princess of Alderaan, General Leia Organa! And her Husband General, Han Solo!” The doors swung open and Ben and you were left out on getting presented (not like you would want to anyway), instead you were finally given permission to enter, letting yourself fall behind your aunt and uncle, as Ben walked in first, for just in case. Instantly at that moment the presented couple stepped inside, getting welcomed by another booming voice.
“Welcome, Generals! Please come on in and welcome to Lothal and my humble home.”
Pfft.
Lastly you walk in with Artoo beside you, lifting your gaze and at that instant moment finding amongst the crowd, the person you’ve been dreading, and wishing to every damn star that you wouldn’t see; Poe Dameron, in all his glory. Who just like this town, was unchanging, his choice in black clothes, choice in leaving his helmet over his face and everything else. You couldn’t see his face, but you imagined that too was not different, he probably still had his scar and the same brown eyes, the same face that never left your damned memories.
Curse him and this stupid town.
And just as you imagined he would, Poe's visor found you and followed your every step, not for any second leaving you and only making you squirm and fight the urge not to run and hide beside Ben, like a frightened child. You were the one that had to rip your eyes away and look at who you were here to help protect, being grateful at the fact that you couldn’t see his face.
At least for that you were grateful for. Being here on the other hand not so much, you still had to sit through a long meeting that was of no importance to you really. You were only left to listen and ignore the burning sensation that was caused by someone’s stare.
This was going to be a long day.
——
“I’m unlike my other predecessors, I care for my planet, for my people and their well being, we’ve been mistreated for far too long, I want to see peace fall upon Lothal.” Governor Starwind continued in that formal voice that was beginning to sound so dreadfully monotone in your ears. Any more time inside this elegant glass room and you’d probably die of boredom; it was not fair that Ben got to patrol outside and avoid hearing this meeting.
“And we’ve promised that you will get that with us and only with us, with the Resistance—”
“Commander Nomad, please,” the Governor cuts Poe off, “I will not accept slander of any kind, we are at a formal meeting, I’m sure you’re used to those. I have enjoyed hearing what The First Order has to offer to try and convince Lothal to stay, but let’s keep this professional. Alright?”
You don’t look to Poe, but you figure he nods since you don’t hear his modified voice respond out. All you think about while the meeting drags on is the fact that Poe was addressed as Commander and not General; such a drastic change was strange, and suspicious. It made you wonder too long on how it could’ve happened, why? You wouldn’t get answers, but you could wonder and keep yourself busy until you heard the holy words that woke you up.
“As of now, it’s late, you all must be tired, we will reconvene tomorrow to discuss further,”
You hear your uncle Han groan beside you at the words that made you dread tomorrow as well, it was a mutual feeling that you expressed with a single shared look.
“There's a banquet in the great hall, and some live music if you all would like to visit there to calm your minds.” The governor finishes, making everyone around the long table stand up, stretch their limbs, and start to head out while you beamed at the sound of food and getting to leave.
“Damn, I thought it was never going to end,” your uncle Han says as the three of you walk out and meet up with Ben in the hall. “I felt like I was going to just knock out, or die there.”
Your aunt Leia scoffs and shoots her husband a glare over her shoulder, not having the energy for a quick witty comeback and instead focusing on the great hall you had been welcomed into. Seeing as you did walk in that it was ten times more lively than the meeting, there were more people in fancy attire then there was in the meeting, the music as promised was a live band playing music you would hear at a cantina at times past midnight when everyone was already half wasted. The great hall was great indeed, as it seemed to have an opening that led to two other huge rooms lit by bright, elegant chandeliers.
Overall it was all overwhelming, but you stuck through—“come on kids, let’s present you two to the Governor and try and make a better impression.” Your aunt Leia instantly instructed, already guiding all of you towards the Governor in the back of the room, not waiting for a single argument, or the chance for any of you to explore on your own. Instead pulling you instantly in front of the Governor that looked young and quite charming, not compared to others you’ve met. “Governor Starwind, I would like to introduce my son and my niece accompanying me.” She looks at Ben beside her with a proud smile. “This is my son Ben solo.” She looks at you and keeps her smile, “and my niece, Y/N Skywalker.”
The Governor offers all of you a small charming smile, bowing his head slightly before his eyes drift from Ben and you, unknowingly showing a glimmer in his purple eyes as he stops to focus on you—“I've heard stories of Jedi as a child, and when I heard that not only one, but three Jedi were joining me today, I couldn’t help but feel like a little kid once again. It’s a pleasure having the three of you.” His eyes drift to Ben for a moment, but they end up back on you, shooting you a crooked smile. “And I am confident to say that what I hear of your beauty is not a lie, it must run in the Skywalker family.” His eyes flicker to your aunt Leia and he offers her the charming grin.
“Oh,” you breathe, trying to hide the fact that you were flustered. “Why thank you, but I can’t take all the credit, it seems that what I’ve heard of the Governor of Lothal is all true.”
The Governor chuckles and his face shows how suddenly flustered he felt. “Oh well all good things I hope?”
Before you could answer with a response that would surprise even you, Poe’s familiar voice interrupts you. “Governor Starwind,” he pauses and his head tilts to you, but you avert your gaze. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I seem to have a message from General Hux that he says is rather significant.”
“Oh,” Starwind looks away from Poe and turns his attention back to you to offer you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but I do hope I find you later to continue our conversation.”
Your eyes fly to meet his, before briefly flickering to see Poe’s visor already looking at you and you can’t help but smirk and glance back at the Governor and bat your eyelashes. “I’m looking forward to it, Governor Starwind.”
He smiles and nods, letting you and your party walk off, not at all letting yourself have one last look at Poe. Instead hearing Artoo comment on what had happened; something that led your uncle Han to agree with an over exaggerated mannerism. “The droid is right, If the two of you needed a room, all you had to do was ask.”
You choke on your own saliva and slowly drag your eyes to him. “I was simply talking to him.”
Your uncle crosses his arms over his chest and nods slowly. “Sure kid. It’s okay to admit something if you want, I can give you a few pointers since well I wasn’t too bad at—”
“Dad.” Ben cuts him off. “Please leave her alone.”
Your uncle Han lifts his hands as if offended before he counters Ben’s comment. “What did I do?”
You chuckle and just roll your eyes, letting them continue with their unnecessary argument and focusing on the people dancing to the upbeat music, wishing Finn was here so you had someone to dance with, if even just to one song; but no, he had to stay back on the Island to continue with training. Maybe it was a good thing since Rey was there, Finn could watch over her while Ben, nor you couldn’t.
But you still would like the company. Even if you had to remember you weren’t here to mingle, you were here on a mission. So instead you kept yourself busy and walked around the great hall, eyeing the place and enjoying the droid by your side as your company. Unaware of the shadow watching you close and following you as far away as he could as to not be suspicious and spotted. Even if it ached him not to fall by your side, he lingered behind. Also unaware of the other presence searching for you around the feast, and the extra pair of beady eyes watching not only you but every other guest suspiciously.
“You know,” you tell Artoo as you eye the food with your mouth watering. “I’m quite hungry, let’s break away from the patrol and get something to eat, yeah?” You don’t wait for a response from someone who can’t eat and head to the food tables, carefully looking at every piece of food and taking too long to choose something to eat. An action that let the unexpected happen.
“Can we talk?”
You don’t dare look to your side once you recognize Poe’s voice and feel his body beside you, instead you go stiff; even if you had heard his voice before, even if you knew he was here you grew stiff, because for the first time since you left him behind and he said those cruel things, he was finally addressing you personally, he was talking to you. You didn’t know what to do, Ben wasn’t around to help you, nor was anyone else, it was just him and you. That sole fact made you grip onto your plate so hard that it broke in your hand, it made you feel as if your heart was going to rip out of your chest. Your breathing hitched and you parted your lips.
But you didn’t dare acknowledge him. “Come on Artoo, I’ve lost my appetite with that horrendous foul smell that suddenly hit my nose.” You put the broken plate down and turn on your heels with your head held up high, ignoring Poe and trying not to look back, instead paying all your attention to Artoo. “Yeah, of course you can come back home with me, I’m sure my dad would love it too.”
Artoo expresses a happy whir and you try to smile, but can’t manage one, whatever blissful daze you had built to be here and not look so grim had been destroyed by Poe’s interaction. It’s like you went through a glitch that left you with how you were before you left the Island. It was mind numbing and you only broke from your stupor when you joined Ben and your uncle Han.
“So has Luke made you two Jedi Masters yet?” Your uncle Han asks curiously, trying to break the tension that he even felt surround the small group.
“Not yet,” Ben answers, making you scoff and add a witty quip.
“Actually Ben is already Master, uncle Han.”
“Really?”
“What?”
“Yeah,” you smile innocently, “Ben is the master at lying and hiding truths from people.”
Ben scoffs and shakes his head, while your uncle Han is left bewildered at your unexpected remark.
“Come on I said I was sorry, I just didn’t want to worry you.”
You shoot him a raging glare and scoff, folding your arms over your chest and internally trying to calm yourself down. “No, save it Ben. You had all the time in the universe to tell me. And you never did!” Unknowingly you raise your voice to a sharp tone that was beginning to turn heads and worry Ben and his father alike. “After I kept asking if you were okay, you lied! I’m not a child, nor a wounded animal for you to be treating me as such!”
“Hey kid, calm down.” Your uncle Han tries to diffuse the situation, trying to grab your shoulder as you ripped your arm from its folded position and pointed your finger at Ben. When you feel the sudden touch on your shoulder, you snap your gaze away from Ben to look at the sudden touch. “I’m sure whatever Ben did can wait to be discussed for later.”
Feeling as if one word went through one ear and fell out the other you spin your attention back to Ben and continue to snap at Ben. “What if something had happened, and you were gone, huh? I wouldn’t have a clue of where you are because you kept things Ben! I thought we could trust each other.”
Ben’s own anger begins to rise at your claims that you threw at him, but his anger didn’t cloud his mind, he was rational about the situation and knew that adding more fuel to the fire would cause an explosion, so instead he stormed off with nothing to say. Leaving you to stare at the empty space where he once stood. Letting your uncle Han step in to try and check on your sudden outburst. “Kid, are you okay?”
You inhale and exhale deeply, nodding to say yes, but not at all assuring his worry. He wanted to press deeper into the subject, but you cut him off before he could try. “I’m going to get some fresh air, I’ll be back later, or just go to the room.” Without waiting for a response you walk past him, but don’t make it far as Artoo began to follow you. “It’s okay buddy, I’ll be fine, I just need some time to cool off, okay? Stay here and watch after aunt Leia, and uncle Han.”
The droid assures you and rolls back to where he was before, letting you maneuver your way through the crowd until you made it out of the great hall and to some balcony in the far end of the hall. And just as you stepped out you got out your comm and contacted your father. You didn’t have the chance to take a nice breath of air, you just stepped out and instantly contacted him.
He, who didn’t take long to answer. “Hey, kid, I’m surprised you called. I would’ve thought you were having too much fun to check in.”
You laugh softly, but can’t manage a smile even if you wanted to. “I just….It’s night time here already, I just wanted to say good night and check in on the current prisoner.”
There's a moment of silence on the other end, you wait, having no other option and instead rest your hands on the balcony’s railing; hearing him only minutes later. “She’s been good, nothing suspicious has happened and she’s been cooperative. I think she was being sincere when she said she meant no harm. Finn seems to be having more trouble than Rey.”
You scoff lightheartedly and shake your head even if he couldn’t see. “Well, that’s good….you let me know if she acts up, okay?”
“Promise.” He pauses again and talks in a softer, more assuring voice. “Are you doing okay? Do you need me to read you a bedtime story like when you were young, or something?”
You snort. “No. I just wanted to say goodnight and that I can’t wait to go back home.”
“Ah, well goodnight little sun, I love you.”
Tears well up in your eyes at his words, but you restrain yourself from doing so, albeit you let it be known that you were holding back tears when the crack in your voice gave you out. “I love you too.” And just like that the call ended and you were left with an aching throat and a cloudy vision. Left looking at the city below and the town in the distance.
Anger and fear still clouded your mind, but you tried to calm that by putting your head in your hands and talking to yourself. “I’m okay, I’m okay. I’m okay,” you sigh and look back at the sparkling city, drawing in a shaky breath and taking a moment before you slowly released it and rested your head back in your hands to try and avoid the echoing voices in your head. “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m….” You suddenly pause at the sound of the tinted glass door opening behind you, you don’t lift your head and instead slide your eyes to the corner to see only a pair of black boots a couple feet behind you. You don’t speak and just lift your head from your hands to stand up straight. Instead you slide to the side to try and make it to the second door to leave, but of course, before you could try doing such an attempt you’re stopped by the voice of the man you expected it to be.
“Wait, please.”
You grow stiff and tighten your grip on the railing of the balcony, looking away from him as you saw him come to your side.
“Can we—”
“Leave,” you hiss, “get out and leave me alone.” You keep your eyes away from him and keep them on the raining night sky, hearing no indication of what you had asked. “Just leave,” your voice unwillingly cracks and you grip onto the glass railing harder. “Fine I will.” You push yourself away and try to leave, but a hand instantly catches your wrist and stops you. The unexpected grasp makes you gasp. But still not look back.
“Wait please listen to me.” He tries again, letting you know he removed the helmet off his head by throwing it across the balcony. Revealing a much softer, and less monotone voice. “Just listen for a minute.”
His voice however didn’t give you the serenity he expected, instead it infuriated you even more, causing you to snatch your lightsaber from your side and whip back to ignite it and threaten him with the end of the blade inches from his throat. “I told you to leave me alone!”
Poe’s eyes widen and he lifts his head so no part of his skin would touch the burning blade, he slides his eyes from the green blade and then looks back at you, not recognizing the anger that glazed your eyes. You kept trying not to get a better view of his face. Yet you just knew his dark eyes watched you. You hear the same voice that enraged you seconds ago and calmed you months ago. “If that’s what you want?”
You draw in a breath and hold it, trying to keep the same angry mask on your face. Albeit not maintaining it long as Poe tries to step closer to the end of the blade, and causes you to instinctively deactivate it and step back until your heels touch the railing and your hilt falls out of your hand and down to the castle. You run and hit the edge, throwing your hand out as if that was going to get it back. “NO!” You bellow, wiggling your fingers, feeling those tears that had been itching to fall out, roll down your cheeks. “No.”
Before the lightsaber hilt was out of sight, you see the lights of the castle and the city reflect on it as it comes flying back, albeit not to you (of course) but to Poe’s hand. When you look back at him, again you avoid looking at his face and look at your lightsaber in his hand and take a fearful step back as he tries to hand it out to you.
At your attempt however, you had already gotten to a dangerous edge and when you step back your body loses balance, causing you to almost fall back, but not managing to do so as Poe’s hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you to him. Instantly remarking on your dangerous actions. “Fuck Princess, be careful.”
Your breath hitches and you pull away from him, snatching your lightsaber from his hand and yet staying in your new spot.
“You welcome.” He retorts, not at all getting the answer he wanted. “Will you listen to me now?”
With your eyes still on the ground you shrug, “I guess.”
“Good,” Poe mumbles under his breath, stepping towards you and trying to cup your cheek, but receiving an instant decline. “Right, well, I just wanted to say that I-I I’m sorry.”
You gasp and your eyes fly to his, feeling your eyebrows furrow and your heart race. Your mind couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, or really didn’t want to. It was unexpected for some reason.
“I’m really am sorry, what I said to you before you left, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
“Why?” You cut him off, fully seeing his face now and realizing that he had grown a beard, that more bags were under his eyes and his eyes expressed that same exhaustion. He looked like he hadn’t slept in months, he looked terrible; yet you wanted nothing more but to feel his face under your fingers, and got lost in his eyes. As much as you wanted to forget what you felt, to replace what you felt with hatred, you couldn’t, your heart still ached for him and made flips the moment you saw just the smallest bit of him; “why are you telling me this? I don’t want to be played again, so if that’s what you’re trying to do, just leave or I’ll call Ben. I’m sure he’d love to have a few words with you.”
Poe parts his lips, but nothing comes out, he just keeps looking at you with that same star struck face. He tries to get close again, but you step back towards a wall this time. Hearing as he managed to find his voice. “No, I don’t want to hurt you again, I promise,” he sighs and you notice his eyes are filled with tears. “I'm just sorry. That day you left, after you asked me to go with you, I said horrible things that I regret every damn day. I didn’t mean them, I didn’t, but I still said them and I’m sorry. I just…” his voice cracks and he pauses to collect himself, not for once breaking away his gaze, instead, taking a step towards you that you let him take while you froze in your spot because of what came out of his mouth. “I just wanted you to leave, and I couldn’t find another way to make you leave. I’m sorry.” His frown deepens and his eyebrows knit together, he swallows back the lump that kept forming in his throat and takes another careful step towards you.
“But why did you say those things, Poe? The things you said, they...they hurt me.” You finally share softly, mirroring the same long expression.
“Because would you have left if I didn’t?” He questions making your eyebrows furrow. “Tell me you would have left if I didn’t. That you wouldn’t have gone back for me.”
Just as you were going to say ‘no’, his last comment caught you off guard because it was true. You would have gone back for him. He knew that.
“I know I broke your heart, I know that I hurt you in more ways than I can ever know, but just know I’m sorry.” He continues softly and sincerely, taking that final step towards you and slowly reaching to cup your cheek, smiling softly as you let him be so near without turning him away. “Knowing I hurt you, hurt me too, deeply. And I thought I was going to forget, forget what I said, the way I saw your heart break through your eyes. And I didn’t, I wanted so badly to forget, forget the way you make me feel, how you would treat me like no one has for a long time. I thought I was going to forget and just return to myself before I saw you again, but my love, you-you took part of my heart along with you that day.” A wobbly smile spreads on his lips and he cups your cheeks with both hands, roaming his eyes all over yours to try and see what you felt. But you hardly knew; you wanted to be angry, but at the same time you felt a light of happiness that had been lacking from your life lately. You simply just let tears show your feelings. You let him continue.
“The other part you took years ago,” he expresses a soft huff of air and tears finally escape from his eyes.
You sigh. “Poe.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he reveals, “you don’t have to forgive me, I just wanted you to hear me, I just needed to see you.”
A smile finally breaks on your lips and you carefully reach to cup his face, gently stroking his cheek and part of the scar that ended on his cheekbone. “I….I understand why you did it. I do.”
More tears stream down his face, but you're quick to wipe them off. He expresses a sigh of relief and grabs your hand to press a soft kiss on your palm, smiling wider as he sees the bracelet around your wrist. “You’re still wearing it.”
“Everyday.” You assure him.
He stays quiet and his eyes keep roaming your face, he only manages to speak minutes later as if he couldn’t believe he was speaking, or you were here. “I missed you, I missed seeing your face, I missed your touch, I missed kissing you. Stars I just fucking missed you.”
You grin shyly and scoff. “Oh gosh, Poe.”
“What? It’s true.”
You look at your bracelet and then look up at the stars that seem to show a glow that you’ve haven’t seen from them in months. You look back to Poe and see a sort of color return to your view, and a warmth return to your body. A peace. “Truth is Poe, none of my feelings have changed, not since the day I met you, even after years I still feel my heart race just the same. With you everything just makes sense, you...you’re the light to my stars, everything shines brighter when I’m with you.” You smile softly and feel the salt of your tears on your lips, Poe expresses a soft chuckle as his own tears keep slipping from his eyes. “You completely stole my heart the day I met you, and I know I was young and a little naive, but I know that you completely captivated me that day. I’ve never felt the way I feel for you with anyone else. Never.”
Poe expresses another soft chuckle and his eyes fall to your lips just like yours do with his, he leans in but stops and looks back to you. “I really am sorry.”
“It’s okay, you’re okay.” You reassure him, continuing to look down at his lips but not giving in to the temptation. “But you have to know that I can’t leave—”
“Please, don’t. Let’s just not talk about that right now, okay? I just want to be with you for however long I can without getting mad.”
You sigh and nod. “Fine.”
He grins and pulls away. “I should leave you for now then. Can I meet you in your room later?”
You smirk and nod. “Please do.”
Poe grins wider, showing you a child-like grin as he summons his helmet to his hand. “Okay, good, good. Go see your family before they send an army out for you.”
You scoff. “They won’t but okay, I’ll see you later.”
Poe nods, walking back and clumsily hits his back on the door before he pushes it open and nods again. “Later. I’ll see you later.”
——
“No I’m sure, yes,” you assure Artoo, “I am perfectly fine being on my own.” You walk back further and further into the room and just peak your head out of the door, adding an assuring smile big enough so Artoo could leave you alone. “tell Ben I said goodnight, okay!”
Artoo shoots you with an annoyed, sassy answer that you just shrug off. “I know you’re not my messenger, but I’m still mad at him. Soo please do it and annoy him.” With one last feigned smile you finally close the door and face a beautifully moonlit room. An unemotional straight line forms on your lips however, as beautiful as the blue light reflected on the elegant white themed room. You trace your fingers along the dresser before heading to the balcony, quietly shuffling throughout the room and going unaware of the person hidden within the shadow of the room that finally decided to make himself known and sneak up behind you, covering your eyes and instantly making you freeze and hold in your breath.
In the sudden darkness that took over your eyes, you tried to reach your hand towards your lightsaber, or your comm to contact Ben, but you were frozen, feeling the breath of the mystery person behind your ear and feeling their hands slide down to your neck. Without the force you’re unable to detect anyone’s presence, you’re left completely blind.
The first thing that manages to squirm through to your mind is realization and then the signal to feel your arms and legs. So you move your hands to claw your nails onto their arm and attempt to flip them. But before you could, a voice stops you as it registers in your head. “Princess, it’s me, it’s me. I’m sorry.”
Your eyes widen and you rip away from Poe, grabbing onto your chest to exhale out your shaken deep breaths. “Poe! What the hell?!” You exclaim loudly.
Poe rubs his wrist and shrugs, “what do you mean? You told me it was okay to come to your room!” He protests.
Your eyes narrow on him and you scoff. “Yes, but not scare me half to death! I could’ve killed you!”
“I just wanted to surprise you.” He claims in a much lower voice, pulling his sleeve and seeing your nail markings on his skin. “Ow.”
“Oh don’t be such a baby.” You roll your eyes as you move to sit on the corner of the bed to kick off your shoes. “It’s your fault for sneaking up on me.”
Poe sits beside you and just scoffs. “Whatever.”
His comment makes you turn your head to offer him an amused look, scoffing and throwing yourself back on the bed as your boots are successfully off. “So, what do you want to do?”
Poe shrugs as he twists his body to look at you laying there and staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know, you tell me. We could talk.”
“About?”
“About how you’ve been? How…” he hesitates for a moment and looks to the balcony, hiding his pained expression. “How Finn is doing? Or I don’t know we could do something,” he looks back to you and smirks. “We can skip the talking and do something fun, I can finally give you what you want.”
You blink and slowly lift your head to meet his gaze, noticing his smirk. Poe takes off his jacket and throws it on the floor, followed by his shoes, continuing to fully turn around and crawl on the bed with you, examining your body before moving to be on top of you; placing both hands on either side of your head and tilting your head with the tip of his fingers so you’d be facing him. “Stars you’re beautiful.”
Your lips part and your eyes flicker down to his lips before you blink to look back up at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and repeating your previous actions. Wanting to speak, but instead keeping to yourself as your mind raced with so many thoughts—“was this something I want?” “Him?” “Yes.” “But not like this.” “Not here.” “It’s something I wanted before and he fills a void in my heart.” “But is this how I want this to go down?” “No.” “Yes.” “He keeps the voices at bay, yet not the temptation to act out what’s been asked of me.” “I want this. Forget everything and everyone else.” “I love him.”
“Do you want to do this, sweetheart?” Poe asks for assurance.
You let your eyes wander back to his lips and a smile tugs on your lips before you lean in and make the first move by crashing your lips with his. Instantly getting bambered with the feeling of relief and longing, passion and desire. You pull away only to give him a soft clear answer. “Yes, I do.” The answer makes a happy, boyish smile grow on his lips before he leans in to press a kiss on your lips, sliding his tongue on your bottom lip to part them and deepen the kiss, making his lips tug wider as he leans in closer and moves one hand to cup your cheek.
Whatever doubt you had before completely disappeared. Joy replaced the feelings that were missing and more desire burned within you. This moment was truly like no other. You were unmistakably happy with Poe.
Said man pulled away, but stayed close, taking a moment for the both of you to catch your breaths as he began to leave a trial of soft kisses all the way down to your collarbone, taking a bit of skin between his teeth and beginning to gently suck on it before you pushed his intentions away. “Don't you dare do that again. Last time I had to wear anything that had a turtle neck so Ben, nor my father would see the hickey.”
Poe licks his lips and chuckles. “Fine not there then,” his smirk deepens and he slowly slides his hands to the bottom of your shirt to basically rip it off of you. Leaving you shirtless and nude, your bare chest glowing under the moon light that shone inside. Poe’s pupils blew up and his smirk faltered as he went breathless. “Truly beautiful.”
A soft smile grew on your lips and you grabbed his face to pull him in for a passionate kiss, feeling his bulge rub against your thigh and a fluttering feeling in your stomach—yet as much as you didn’t want Poe to stop kissing you, he desperately pulled away to once again press kisses down the premises of your skin, until he stopped on your breast and repeated what he had intended to do on your collarbone.
Causing you to knot your fingers in his hair and gently tug on his hair as he sucked on the skin. You felt at that instant that your heart was going to rip out of your chest, even if so little had happened so far. You ached for him as he was taking his sweet old time, pulling away from you and shooting you a smug grin. You rolled your eyes at his expression, proceeding to move your hands down to his hips to pull his shirt off him, feeling your eyes widen in more desire, and worry as you finally saw his bare chest and torso.
His body was beautifully carved, his abs were perfectly toned and ripped through his skin; his chest and biceps were beautifully tan and glowing with the light of the moon reflecting on his bare skin. You ran your hands over his skin and little goosebumps grew all over his body. He smiled and tilted his head slightly so he could follow your fingers running over the premises of his warm and soft body. His smile however faltered, like yours did in fact, at the moment you stopped at each scar that was littered all over his body. They weren’t big scars, just small ones, like puncture wounds—“Poe,” You whisper, “what happened?”
Poe places his knuckle under your chin and lifts your head so your eyes could meet his, and he could assure your increasing worry. “Just old scars baby, I’m fine.”
Your eyebrows knit together and you part your lips to try and argue, but he cuts you off by pressing his lips on yours and deepening it by the second. Neither of you want to pull away, but you have to express your thought. One he had said first the day before you left, and one he had said today, but one you had yet to express.
“Stars, I missed you.”
Poe smiles softly and leans in to whisper by your ear. “I missed you too, my love.”
You grin like you haven’t done in a long time and can’t help but think in the deepest part of your brain, “this wrong. Being with Poe. Confessing everything and having sex was wrong. But it was a good mistake. Even if I knew it was going to cost me. A lot.”
Your battles that you were pushing aside, were only going to brew deeper after this. But it’s a consequence you’d deal with.
——
“So what? We’re supposed to act like we hate each other now or something?” Poe asks, combing his hair back with his fingers as he hesitated to put his helmet over his head.
You scan the hall you’re walking down and shake your head. “No, we just don’t talk, like yesterday, pretend like we don’t know each other.”
Poe scoffs. “It’s not that easy, you’re tempting.”
You roll your eyes and can’t help the smile that tugs on your lips, you scan the area to make sure no one is near to grab him by the arm and pull him towards a dark dead end hall. An action that Poe snickers to and gets all too cocky about what he thought was going to go down. “Princess, I knew you took risks, but here, really?”
You narrow your gaze on him and slightly tilt your head. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, aren't we going to have a quickie before returning?”
Your eyebrows pinch together and your eyes study him before you chuckle and shake your head. “No, no, I’m too sore and well we’d probably be caught, Ben and Artoo should be looking for me shortly.” You cup Poe’s cheek and smile sweetly, “I just wanted to say that I like the beard.”
Poe smirks and strokes his chin, “really? I thought you would.”
You roll your eyes and hit his shoulder playfully. “It suits you, just like you without one. I like either.”
“Noted.”
Poe’s hands go to your hips and he leans in to take you in for a heated lingering kiss, slowing down only to gently bite your bottom lip before completely parting away and look at you with a lingering look. “I'm going to miss you.”
You smile and stroke his cheek one last time with your thumb. “I’m going to miss you too.” You walk back and look back to the clear main hall, peaking your head past the wall and looking to both sides to check that the ghost was clear for you to walk out without being detected.
“Come with me.”
You grow stiff at Poe’s words and slowly pull away to stand up straight and keep your back faced to him.
“We can be together without having to hide. I can help you.”
You ball your hands into tight fists and look down to talk to the ground. “Help me with what?” And just like that, all color left from your view and darkness took over everything again.
“What you’re dealing with, Supreme leader Snoke can help.”
Kill the spare. Do it now, he’s there. He’s open.
“We can be a good pair, just you and me” Poe continues, making anger begin to boil within you.
“Poe.” You warn softly. “Please stop, or you’re going to ruin everything.”
“Ruin everything? Baby, we make each other happy,” Poe grabs your arm to turn you to face him, cupping your face to lift your head so your eyes could meet. So you could see the desperation behind his eyes. “I can see that, why can’t you? You're struggling but I can help.”
Your gaze doesn’t falter, but your hand does. Slowly you uncurl your fists and discreetly reach for your lightsaber as your mind was overcome with the tempting voice of “your grandfather”. Happiness seeps away from your mind, face and is replaced by nothing but that same numbing blankness that has overcome you entirely in the past months.
“I can correct what I did wrong. If you come, Master Snoke can bring back Jacen. We can overthrow Snoke and we can rule over the First Order, change it to our will and finally win this war. Together. Be with me.”
Kill him. Kill Poe Dameron. Now!
“I’ll kill him,” you whisper under your breath as an unusual evil smirk unknowingly tugs on your lips and that same sinister darkness grows in power within you. You pull your lightsaber from your side and slide your thumb to the activation button, moving your hand to cup Poe’s face and offer him a sweet smile that he couldn’t help but mirror; his filled with joy, unlike yours—“I,” you say out loud, “I will—”
Before you could finish your sentence however, you’re suddenly pulled back forcefully and hitting your ass on the ground with a painful thud. In that quick and sudden action, what had possessed you broke away and you were fully back, looking up to see Ben throwing Poe to the wall and lifting him off his feet with the force, proceeding to slowly close his hand as he began to force choke Poe.
“Ben! Leave him alone!” You exclaim sharply as you stand to your feet and run to Ben to try and pull his hand away, but ultimately getting pushed back by said man. “Ben! Please!” Your eyes water and you try to plead again. You knew you were meant to act like you didn’t care for Poe in front of other people, you knew that the voices inside your head told you to kill him, but seeing his life hang in the balance, watching the fear in his eyes broke you in different ways. “Ben! Leave him alone!”
“No!” He growls, dropping Poe from the death grip and stepping closer towards him to swing his fist over his face. You tried to stop him again, but Ben was physically stronger, without the force you were useless in your attempts. All you could do was try to see if you shouting at the top of your lungs would knock some sense into Ben. Even if you knew it wouldn’t—“we trusted you and you killed him! He loved you, he treated you like family and you betray him by killing him!” Ben exclaims, anger clearly in his voice and actions, the veins on his neck clearly showed as he shouted to Poe with that one single emotion. He was hurt and it was painfully clear. “Then you proceed to break my cousins heart and break her trust too! I should kill you!” Ben throws Poe another punch that makes you wince and Poe groans before looking up to Ben with a wide-stricken expression that he tried to hide his fear and own hurt behind.
“Then do it.” Poe groans, not even trying to fight back.
You take a step closer to the pair and plead again. “Ben, please leave him alone.”
Said man looks over his shoulder for a second before glaring back at Poe and continuing with a surprising comment. “But I won’t because the best punishment is you drowning in your own guilt,” Ben smirks and let’s go of Poe to stand up slowly. “I want you to remember everything you’ve done because I know that’s your weakness. You try to act tough, scary, but I know what you aren’t. You’re nothing, but a child, in a mask.”
Your eyes widen at his insult and Poe stays quiet, parting his lips and just that.
“And if you have any ounce of respect for Jacen, or me, I want you to leave my cousin alone. She’s gone through enough pain because of you. I don’t want to see you close to her again, because if I do, I’ll make sure I’m the last thing you ever see.” Ben finishes, fuming out of ears and pulls his foot back to land one last hard kick on Poe’s side, shooting him one last burning glare before turning around and grabbing your wrists to pull you away without a chance to check on Poe’s wounds.
You part your lips to argue, but Ben catches your before you can. “Don’t you dare try to defend him, or I’ll turn back and actually shove that lightsaber in your hand through his chest.”
You gasp and glance at the lightsaber still in your hand, instantly putting it away and choosing to stay quiet on that matter instead. “When are we going home?”
“Later,” Ben reveals, still bitter. “Theirs one last meeting and after we should be good to go.”
You hum softly and from the corner of your eye you see a masked Poe pass by the both of you. Not daring to even look your way. You want to go after him and talk, but you’d be a fool to do so. You had to watch him from a distance now, leave with many things left unsaid, even if he was only feet away, you had to fight the temptation. You had to pretend he wasn’t here.
“Where’s Artoo?”
“In the great hall with my mother and father, the meeting is taking place there.”
Your eyebrows knit together at his response. “The great hall? Why there?”
Ben shrugs and let’s your wrist go once he sees Poe enter the great hall and not be a threat to you anymore. “I don’t know, but it’s there.”
You both enter the hall yourselves and try to walk towards your family, but in that exact instant something stops Ben, and has you bumping into him. He grows stiff and looks back to the doors as they close, and the windows as the curtains cut off light from beaming in. You want to protest Ben’s actions, but a sudden hologram of an odd masked man in all black cuts you off. “I’ll keep this short. We the people are tired of you. The resistance and the first order, we don’t want to be in this petty fight. We’re tired of getting overworked and not paid enough. We don't want to be ruled, we want to rule. Our own planet.” The curtains swing open again, blinding you with the light, but yet demonstrating something outside; multiple battleships now littering the sky as they come out of hiding—“so I fortunately I report that now, we have to get rid of all of you. For good. No more light or darkness. Just peace.”
And with nothing else to add, the hologram cut off and five soldiers in the same all black outfit came out of hiding from within the walls, all surrounding everyone, even the governor. Ben grabs your hand to try and rush towards his parents, but explosions outside the castle stops him from moving. The castle rumbles and then a blazing and blowing fight breaks between the soldiers and everyone inside. Ben snaps from his stupor and grabs and urges you to follow him, ducking and avoiding blasts and punches from the armored-soldiers.
“Don’t look back and just reach my parents no matter what!” Ben shouts to you, both at the same time activating your lightsabers to deflect blasts and swing at the armored-soldiers.
Your eyes search all over the place and grow desperate to try and feel any spark of force within you. But nothing, you’re left with nothing, just jumping as the castle rumbles again and a window explodes as an explosion hits the side of the castle you were on, causing the building to tilt and your fear, and anger to rise. You slide slightly to the side but firmly grip onto Ben, spotting his mother and Artoo a few feet away. He quickens his pace and pulls you along, reaching his mother and not hesitating to be protective and curious. “Where's dad?”
“I sensed something was off, so I sent him to the ship he should be here soon! One of you help, Artoo break the window to be ready to jump when Han comes.”
You instantly nod and join Artoos side, stabbing your lightsaber through the thick glass and slowly, but surely attempting to melt a circle on the window. You try to avoid turning back at the sound of blasts all over, and screaming echoing in your ears, but you remind yourself that not only will you provide an escape for your family and you, but for these people too. That keeps you motivated to keep trying to cut the window. Albeit, all until another explosion hits the whole wall at your side gets blown in, making you flinch as debris flies past you and the force of the explosion sends the tower to tilt more and for you to almost slide out if it wasn’t for Artoo wrapping a cord around your wrist.
“Thanks bud,” you smile, digging your heels into the floor and picking your lightsaber off the floor; “you’re always there when I need—” you suddenly stop and your eyes widen as they focus on one single scene playing across from you. It takes you a moment to break from your stupor as your face expresses pure fear at what you see, but once you do, you’re slightly bending your knees to begin to run towards Poe getting badly hurt by three of the shadow-like, special all black uniformed soldiers. But before you could take your first step, arms wrap around you and you’re pulled back into a firm chest. When you look back you see no one other but Ben holding you back.
“No! Leave him, the Falcon is here we have to go!”
“No!” You bellow, kicking your feet and trying to break from his hold, feeling angry tears roll down your cheeks. “I need to help him!” The gleam of a vibro-sword catches your attention and that same fear from when you lost Jacen sparks in your brain, that same adrenaline. You feel it makes you stronger. This time you were.
Were you faster though?
Without the force could you save Poe before the blade punctured his body?
“No Ben, Poe needs me!” You cry, wiggling your arm out and throwing your elbow back to hit Ben’s jaw. Causing his grip to loosen, and giving you your chance to escape, instantly breaking into a full sprint towards Poe. Feeling your heart pump wildly in your ears, and your chest heavily heave, tears mixed with sweat, and your attempts to avoid being hit, or shot felt like a breeze. However nothing felt greater than jumping over your last obstacle and jamming your lightsaber on one of the special soldiers back as you landed on the floor.
The two soldiers trying to hold Poe down, stop as they see you throw their comrade to the side and you hear Poe utter your name in a surprised gasp. “Y/N?”
You offer him a faint smile and whisper, “I made it in time.” After one last short lingering look, you take out your other lightsaber from your side, flipping it in your hand so you could swing it and activate it, so the blade could scratch one of the soldiers helmet, making their hold on poe fall and letting him grab his blaster to swiftly shoot their other one at his side.
Leaving Poe ultimately ripping his helmet off and showing you the soft and shocked mixed expression on his face. “You came back for me?”
The corner of your lips tug into a smile, and just before you could speak your thought out loud, another loud, impactful blast hits the castle and this time you’re sliding off the castle that’s now hanging by a thread, while the top floor off you were on, hangs on its side. Before you could fall off the castle and free fall into the sky, you come to a skidding stop and manage to stop yourself on the rubble of the broken wall, staring out at the rubble, broken and tilting ceiling, fire and chaos hundreds of feet below. Poe however didn’t stop himself in time and hung from the side of the castle. Looking up at you with a fear-stricken look.
You instantly reach for his hand to try and pull him up, but in the dark temptation hits again, harder than ever. Kill him. Let him fall and you’ll get your brother back. Your family will be complete. You’ll end this war. Kill him. Let him fall.
“Y/N, pull me up.”
Your gaze snaps to Poe, and you meet his brown eyes, blinking to break from the cloudy daze and using both hands to pull him slightly, ignoring the blinding pain in your head and trying to pull him up with all the strength you could manage. “Poe, you’ve got to help me a little, you’re too heavy.”
Poe nods, heaving as he dares to look down before holding to your arm and helping you pull him up. “Okay, okay.”
“Drop him,” a real voice whispers by your ear, making you jump and snap your head over your shoulder to see one of the shadow-like, special soldiers beside you, it’s helmet caved in by the impact of your lightsaber, and showing a yellow eye.
“What?” You gasp.
“Drop him. I know you want to. You feel it, don’t you, Skywalker.”
Your hold on Poe weakens and your eyes remain wide, unable to blink out of the terror you felt by his words. “Wh-what. Who are you?”
They come closer and lift their helmet to just reveal their pink lips. “Your solution. Drop him.”
“Y/N!”
“To make myself legit, I’ll say this, you’ll find your first key to bring your brother back, in Dagobah.”
You gasp again, feeling your eyes fill with tears. The soldier drops its helmet and steps back, you keep looking over your soldier and let something completely cold take over. In one moment you feel Poe’s hand, the next you feel nothing, but a cold breeze. You’re lost in a dark cloud, and feel nothing but anger.
But it all disappeared in a snap as the sound of your name coming from below snaps you back and out of whatever faze you were stuck in. “Y/N!”
Instantly you fall on your knees and get close to the edge, feeling the heat of the fire below burn your face and the breeze howl in your ears. You throw your hand out and scream for him with the tears streaming down your cheeks, and complete heartbreak expressed in your eyes. “POE! NO!” Again you try with all your will to reconnect to the force.
But nothing. You feel nothing but failure. You see nothing but a disappearing figure as Poe is falling down and covered by the black smoke. Leaving you numb and broken. Leaving you to hear no one but the same soldier return to your side to grab the back of your shirt and pull you to them, proceeding to only whisper in your ear, “long, live, the Dark side.”
Before you could fight back, the soldier hits the side of your head hard and has your concinosess fading to black.
You’re only left to feel the breeze hit your body, see the blue sky above you, feel the sun rays dry your tears and warm your face, hear the wind howl in your ears and the soldiers' words echo in your ears after they throw you out of the broken window.
The last thing you feel is your body crash onto something hard that stops the feeling of yourself falling. You hear Ben's voice echo in your ears, but you block it out as a numbness takes control of every part of your brain. You hadn’t fallen into unconsciousness like you thought you would, so you weren't saved from hearing the soldier's voice in your mind. “Long, live, The dark side.”
You weren’t saved from seeing Poe’s face haunt your mind.
.
.
A/N- haha :)
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