For; anonymous
Prompt; Sam runs into Jess in Heaven.
"Sam, come on! Dinner’s gonna go cold!"
This isn’t right. This is - he was just in Cold Oak, and there was a burning in his back and he fell and Dean was there and everything was fire and -
But this is his room, in his apartment, near Stanford. And Sam stands from the double bed - the one that he shares with Jess - and his nerve endings are buzzing with something that he can’t place because he knows that voice, and he knows this place.
He’s out of the room so fast it’s like he flies, and there she is. She’s next to the table and it’s set beautifully and there are candles and it’s Jess. Her hair in ringlets and she’s wearing this black dress that always made her seem like a ballerina to Sam for reasons he can’t explain, and she’s smiling at him like he’s the most important thing in her life. He remembers this, this is their first anniversary dinner. This already happened.
But if Jess is here - - then this isn’t real. This has to be Heaven because this is the only place Jess belongs. Sam just doesn’t know why he’s here too.
"There you are baby. I thought you were gonna stand me up."
"Couldn’t leave my girl all dressed up with nowhere to go, could I?"
The words fall from his lips without prompt, because that’s what he said when this really happened, and because this is what they are. Fancy dinners made from cheap food and their best clothes for their anniversary and tiny apartments and miles of skin and opposite ends of a spectrum that only contains them.
And Sam is kissing Jess now, and she smells like vanilla and she’s soft and perfect in his arms and he wants to skip the dinner, wants to pull her to the couch and wrap her up and never let her go but he can’t ruin this.
So they have dinner and they talk about nothing that really matters and it’s everything Sam wants to hear because he can’t stop looking at her. He doesn’t know what he’s eating, doesn’t know what he’s drinking, and none of it matters because Jess is laughing and smiling and loving him.
And then smoke falls from the vent and Jess’ eyes flood black, and a voice that’s not her own tells him he’s been saved.
Sam wakes up on a mattress in an abandoned cabin with fire in his back, and a spark of loss that he can’t understand sitting in the bottom of his stomach. This isn’t his saviour, this is his damnation.