#dash con2?

[idontknowherbutimatdashcon]

14:55 August 2, 2026

My gay husband took us to a wedding ceremony at this “dash-con.” No Teen Wolf, though. Sad.

More reports to come.

[idontknowherbutimatdashcon]

18:20 August 1, 2026

Alert! I’ve grown sleepy. I need a nap. I’m just a little guy. This is not a test. My gay husband won’t let me. Alert!

More reports to come.

[idontknowherbutimatdashcon]

16:32 August 2, 2026

My time at this “dash-con” has come to a close. I have learned much about the “tumblers” in my time. My gay husband assures me that I haven’t the faintest, but I disagree. My studies have prevailed upon me the importance of this unique society. I have three travel tips for any other brave interlopers who dare to come to the con in the future.

1. The ball pit will never be piss free and sitting amongst the piss laden balls is a critical rite of pissage required of all visitors. The locals call this the “piss tax.”

2. The locals have not yet developed any form of legal tender. Goods and services can only procured through the exchange of trinkets. I was lucky enough to get a Thomas Jefferson Mini Binder in exchange for my wedding ring. My gay husband does not know this.

3. Here be clowns. All those who fear fun should stay away.

My gay husband has promised me we can now have a cheeky Nandos. Farewell and Hoozah!

No more reports to follow. Sad.

Haha JK…

Unless…

[idontknowherbutimatdashcon]

The People Want To Know! how are you doing after you frew up :(

I was feeling quite ill but my gay husband whipped up a warm glass of the sludge—a local cure-all consisting of Tums and Juice I’m told—that was quite soothing. It reminded me of the rocks I once ate as a child.

More reports to come.

[idontknowherbutimatdashcon]

23:22 August 1, 2026

I frew up :(

sorry gay husband

More reports to follow.

[idontknowherbutimatdashcon]

11:00 August 1, 2026

The people of this “dash-con” are far more violent than the Mikus led me to originally believe. An innocent creature was beheaded to the cheers and applause of a happy crowd, including my gay husband. Their blades cry for my more blood. State violence to come. I shed a single tear.

My gay husband also showed me a funny poster. I laughed.

More reports to come.

[idontknowherbutimatdashcon]

13:06 August 2, 2026

We finished learning about gay organizing. Do I have ADHD? Perhaps. My gay husband seems unimpressed by this revelation. This is not news to him. Much to think about. Sad.

More reports to follow.

[idontknowherbutimatdashcon]

13:57 August 1, 2026

My wanderings in this unfamiliar wilderness continue. My gay husband led me to a crow exchange.

There was a noticeable lack of crows.

We entered with a bag of worm earrings, a common currency amongst the tum-ballerinas. We exited with a beaded bracelet and a beanie baby trading card. Supposedly this was a net increase. I have much to learn still.

We now wait to learn of a deity named Snape and his many wives. My time learning about Mormons has hopefully prepared me well to understand this strange new god.

More reports to come.