16:32 August 2, 2026
My time at this “dash-con” has come to a close. I have learned much about the “tumblers” in my time. My gay husband assures me that I haven’t the faintest, but I disagree. My studies have prevailed upon me the importance of this unique society. I have three travel tips for any other brave interlopers who dare to come to the con in the future.
1. The ball pit will never be piss free and sitting amongst the piss laden balls is a critical rite of pissage required of all visitors. The locals call this the “piss tax.”
2. The locals have not yet developed any form of legal tender. Goods and services can only procured through the exchange of trinkets. I was lucky enough to get a Thomas Jefferson Mini Binder in exchange for my wedding ring. My gay husband does not know this.
3. Here be clowns. All those who fear fun should stay away.
My gay husband has promised me we can now have a cheeky Nandos. Farewell and Hoozah!
No more reports to follow. Sad.
Haha JK…
Unless…
