#dasmondkuss

[lured-into-wonderland]

Continued from [x] with @dasmondkuss

She knew she was not handling it well. She really tried not to be sassy (or passive aggressive). She tried to pretend it was not happening but as much as she really tried it was just not working. And she was scared. She was scared what Alois would say. And what would happen next. And why was it happening n o w, when things finally started to work for her? Even with Dominicus. They seemed to be finding some common ground. And she was about to get a grasp on her life again.

So, even if she was really trying, she was failing miserably. Nunnally knew she was failing, but she was not aware it was that visible until she heard those two men joking about her. In first moment, she just wanted to go there and yell at Alois. Why was he allying with Dominicus against her? And then run away, lock herself in the bedroom and cry herself into sleep. But they were so cheerful about it, and it (involuntarily) brought a small smile onto her lips.

‘I heard it’; was all that she shouted and it earned some more playful remarks from both men, who were now trying to disappear before she was to snap at them. She just watched their boyish behavior and instead of acting as expected, she finally made her decision.

She walked to the pantry and took out a large tablet of their favourite chocolate. Then she opened the cabinet and put a large bowl on a table, and ice-cream next to it. She hesitated for a moment, and instead of simply putting some of the cold dessert into the bowl, she took out a spoon and took the whole container. She smiled to herself. Suddenly, she was in a good mood as if the stress from the past days was finally over. These were very good advice that she was given.

She first went to Dominicus; Nunnally found him in his room. A gentle knock but she entered without waiting for the invitation. She threw chocolate at him: --

“You’ll be needing it more than me.” – she joked – “And there’s nothing more in the pantry. Someone should go shopping…” – she commented, when she was leaving him with the large block of chocolate.

It was slightly more difficult with Alois. She expected to find him in his study, but he was not there. Then she checked the balcony, the library, but she finally found him in their bedroom: --

“Here…” – she said handing him the very same ice-cream he suggested her earlier, and boldly meeting his - what she believe to be - surprised gaze – “It’s not the Aunt Flo. Nor the crimson wave.” – she used his own words against him – “I am actually late.” – she stated gently; she sat on the sofa next to him.

“There are more ice-cream in the fridge, but I am afraid we have no more chocolate for Dominicus.” 

[lured-into-wonderland]

It was weird to park at the neighbor's house and sneak into his own home. But he had said a little lie. It was the whitest of them all, a quick text that said, 'I'll be late.' Alois didn't add anything, not an explanation, no anything.

He wasn't getting home late. In fact, he'd be early, so he figured to play a game with his wife.

Alois had to be careful, making sure he didn't make any loud sound that would let his wife know that he was home. It would scare her to think that it was a thief or worse... She'd move to a room, and Alois would walk behind her quickly, befriending the shadows to leave small presents and notes.

First, her favorite perfume. Then, a pearl necklace. He'd proceed to leave a purse, indicating her to go to the garden, where he left a 1947 wine, the same brand they drank the day they got married—he remembered. There were also two cups, and inside was a note for her to go to the greenhouse.

Alois waited for her in the middle, with a bouquet of roses and a smile. However, Nunnally was received first by something sniffing at her toes. The puppy barked or tried to, at least.

"Are we really a family if we don't have a pet?" The puppy was a black cocker spaniel, which Alois picked from the ground and allowed her to sniff Nunnally some more. "So, the flowers or the pet?" Alois asked but laughed shortly after. "I'm kidding. You can keep them both. However, she needs a name." Alois closed one of his eyes due to the licks the puppy gave to his jaw. It was ticklish.

It was one of these days. She was sad and alone in that large house, although she hoped it would not be the case. Dominicus was away, too. Nunnally was not sure where and why; they still didn’t get on exactly well. It often seemed to her she was more of a stranger here than he was. Nunnally knew her feelings were not fair to Alois, but she just couldn’t force herself to fully accept Dominicus. Would things be better without Alois's best friend?

In the recent days Nunnally was often wondering “what” she and Alois were (or had become) at the moment. Yes, they were a married couple with a rather long experience, but it was all on paper. In reality, they were married for a night, not really being aware of the implications of what was considered a funny joke. And yet that was a proof (at least to her) that they liked and loved each other enough to go for that joke. They were immature and their relation was immature, childish even, but it didn’t make it any less worthy.

But now? Nunnally moved in here so that her reckless actions from the past did not impact her future (Alois was always suited to be a knight in a shining armour; she thought). And yet their relationship now seemed much more than a façade to cover for her irresponsibility. Nunnally often thought that their joke had become their reality. They started to behave like a married couple. Or at least as a couple, as lovers and friends again. But was it only her desires? Her wishes and her imagination? Life with Alois was happy. She often felt like she was back at the university. And that was the only time in her life when she was as close to her true self as her name allowed her to be. It was then when she felt the least scrutinized and being able to make decisions for herself. It was the transition period when she stopped being a caged child but was not yet made a part of a family business. Well, she always was but not to the extent it was happening before Alois had returned.

So who were they? Nunnally knew that intimacy didn’t have to mean anything else but desire. At the beginning she was sure it was as simple as that. A way to bring back the past. But now she started to gain a certainty there was something more between them. Something more than these naïve children they wanted to bring back.

But Nunnally wasn’t to the one to try find what the reality was. If it was a lie, she wanted this lie to last as long as it could. They didn’t really discuss the issue of their “marriage” or “divorce” (perhaps apart from the fact that it was to happen some when; but did it truly have to? Couldn’t this fairy-tale last?), so her question might end it prematurely. If they became a couple, her question might bring unnecessary doubt or tension, and perhaps destroy the fragile bond that was forming between them. Again.

And perhaps most of all she feared rejection. Back then she was sure they were a couple. Their marriage was a joke, but they WERE a couple. She loved him (and he loved her). And yet he left. And didn’t come back from Morocco. She tried to look for him, but he made sure she could not find him. Nunnally didn’t want to be rejected again. It was better to assume there was nothing…nothing more than a business agreement. Friends with benefits, she supposed.

Though these thoughts were not there, when Nunnally decided to make the best of the empty house. Not to surrender to her initial sadness. Or insecurities she felt almost all the time apart from Alois’s and her time in their bedroom. So, she enjoyed a long bath, tried a new dress that was delivered today in the morning, and was just about to make herself a cup of lavender tea, when she found her favourite perfume. A new bottle… She was puzzled; she didn’t remember leaving it there and even less ordering it. But that was okay, perhaps Alois did (and he was a caring “husband” and friend). She opened the bottle and applied some on her skin. Nunnally felt even better now with her favourite scent lingering around her; she left the bottle on the table. She’d clean up later. Alois doesn't like mess, does he?

But then there was pearl necklace! That couldn’t have been a coincidence anymore. It was not hers, or rather it was hers but just from the moment she found it. She didn’t have one like that before. Someone was playing with her. And that someone was Alois. It needed to be. It was like the university times, when they would have left small notes for each other; challenges and tasks. She giggled in excitement. She put the necklace on and followed his notes; although it was less challenging than she expected. The purse. The wine. He remembered! That they had drank the very same brand on the day of their marriage back then.

Would that mean? No! Nunnally you shouldn’t be giving yourself false hopes. It was just a coincidence. Nothing more. He just liked that wine. She took the bottle and the glasses and walked to the greenhouse. And then it was where everything went…wrong! Or at least not as it should have been happening.

Something sniffing at her toes…a dog! What was a dog doing there…Before Nunnally could have a look at her feet to realize it was not a dog (she might fear), but a puppy that needed love and care (that she would readily give) she took a quick step back, tripping over a small stone… Only when she was falling down (and breaking the bottle and staining the dress in the process), the meaning of Alois’s words reached her mind.

And there she was sitting in the dirt, looking at Alois and the puppy…and suddenly bursting into tears. But they were not tears of sadness. Quite opposite. She was crying because she was happy. The tears mixing with her mascara staining her cheeks black.

“A-alois…” – she was finally able to stutter between her sobs – “Alois…”

“Do…you…do you really mean it? That we are family?” – this was only what mattered for her in that very moment; not the wine, not the dress, not her ridiculous reaction to a puppy. And then her hesitation turned into certainty. She looked at Alois and smiled: --

“Yes, Alois. We are a family. And this is our puppy.” – puppy…!

“…I hope…I have not scared the puppy…” – she smiled at Alois still crying; he and puppy looked so perfect together. Her very own perfect family.

“Take us home, Alois.” – she demanded and then she realized something…

 “…I…I broke my heel…”

.

.

“…I am so sorry for the wine!”

@dasmondkuss

[lured-into-wonderland]

from [x] with @kissmeau ( @dasmondkuss )

She opened her eyes; her thoughts still blurry…

“…Autumn…!” – she exclaimed; she remembered they were hiding together in the pantry room with the invaders roaming though Autumn’s apartment. A place that become as close to home as her cursed “self” could accept without fear – “…Autumn…” – did THEY entered their hiding place? Stunned her by a blow to her head! Took Autumn away…

“...Autumn…!” – now that was a scream; Nunnally was an embodiment of fear of what had happened to Autumn! He was her friend; he was the only one who called her ‘doll’ in a way she liked. Alright, it was not like that from the very beginning of their friendship, but it was like that now! She loved him (even if she was not aware of that and would not admit it openly).

“Autumn…!” – her fear was now turning into a rage; whoever hurt Autumn made the mistake. The very last in their life. She’d wipe them away from their poor existence; even the memories about them. And if bringing back Autumn would require a trip to hell...she was ready for that trip. No-one hurts Autumn. No-one!

She stood up and opened the door to the pantry. Did she remember Autumn’s warning? Did she remember that he asked her to stay inside? She did, but it did not matter. She was not sure what was going on. And she could help! No matter what Autumn was thinking about her.

“Autumn…” – she entered the kitchen only to stumble upon a body lying on the floor; dead or unconscious. It did not matter for her. Another room…another man…knocked unconscious. She started to understand.

“Autumn…!” – there was almost no fear left in her voice. Instead a mixture of wrath and resentment. It was not them who entered the pantry. It was him, Autumn, who did it to her.

(“I am sorry about this.”) – now she remembered his words. He just did not trust her (well, he was right with it; she could at least admit that to herself), Autumn wanted to protect her, he just wanted her to stay quiet in the pantry no matter what. But that was not fair. She would be of some use. How could he!?

“Autumn…!” – she finally saw him there standing above another man. 

“That’s not fair…that’s not fair…you shouldn’t…you couldn’t…that’s not fair…” – in a few jumps she was there next to him; her small hands curled into fists; the tears rolling down her cheeks; she was sobbing; her little frame was shaken violently as she was hitting his chest frantically with her little fists --  “That’s not fair…not fair…not fair…fair…fair…” – her voice was nothing but a relief now…

“…I am so glad you are safe…I was so worried…about you…you cannot do that to me…cannot…promise…promise me…promise…” – her fists fell down not to rise again. Instead Nunnally hugged the man hiding herself in his warmth, in him being alive, in his humanity; still sobbing heavily she stuttered – “…I…I cannot loose you…cannot…cannot…cannot…”

[lured-into-wonderland]

It was a lovely sunset. Different colors were mixing with the puffy clouds, and the breeze was slightly chill, yet it caressed their bodies with tenderness.

Nunnally was talking about something. He had lost track of their conversation a couple minutes ago due to the alcohol washing off his body, but some 'uhm, uh-uh, yeah' was more than enough to pretend he was attentive.

However, eventually, his eyes fell on the woman next to him. He did care about her opinions, but at that moment, he was more focused on how well the last rays of sunshine matched her silhouette and blondeness. Alois wasn't paying attention because he was too busy admiring Nunnally's beauty.

On the rooftop, under the influence, and with her companionship, Alois confirmed the shower thoughts and random feelings he'd been experiencing for a while. "You know..." He didn't have to keep with his fake attention. He wanted Nunnally to know what was keeping him so occupied. "I'm so glad I met you."

"Sometimes, I feel I could spend the rest of my life with you like this." Alois laughed shortly. "Perhaps, less tipsy. But with you, anyway." Alois' words carried a heavyweight, but he couldn't realize it. It was always like that with Nunnally. He could say, do, or invent anything because she would take it lightheartedly and with enthusiasm. She'd carry along with any idea because their bond had become camaraderie.

"Let's never miss each other. Even when we graduate and want to pursue a different dream, let's make sure we get to see our hair turn grey." Alois found her hand and squeezed it. "Mnh, what do you say?" There was such loyalty between them Alois almost felt the question unnecessary. He put it out there because he knew the answer.

When she was trying to recall that evening later, it was never a coherent memory for her. Nunnally remembered fragments of it; through different senses and emotions. She remembered it was a chilly evening somewhere away from the busy university life. She remembered how Alois smelled, when she was walking clinging to his arm. Nunnally remembered she was talking, but she was never able to say what she was talking about. The remembered the colour of the sky, the colour of his shirt. She could tell Alois wasn’t listening to her, but she was also aware it did not bother her back there.

Nunnally remembered how she ruffled his hair, and the goosebumps on her arm when the wind got slightly chiller. She remembered feeling h a p p y. Relaxed. Perfectly in the right place there with him. She remembered looking down from the roof top, and being certain they both had a wonderful future. TOGETHER.

She was feeling she was a queen. HIS QUEEN. And if ever asked, Nunnally would say she was sure Alois was sharing her feelings.

And she remembered how he suddenly stopped and said that he was glad he had met her. She remembered how she laughed and said something foolish (or funny?) how he had actually found her. A lost creature in one of the endless empty halls of the old university buildings… And she was sure her heart fluttered in that very moments and her breath quickened. As if she could sense that was only a prelude to something more important.

Many times later Nunnally tried to remember what exactly Alois said. What were his exact words. In which way he proposed to her. She remembered he was talking about their hair going grey…about always staying together…?

No! He was actually talking about not missing each other. She always needed to correct herself. But wouldn’t that be the same thing? Whenever thinking about that moment, Nunnally could almost feel his touch, his grip on her hand, but she couldn’t remember how she ended pressing her face into his chest. Did she actually wet his shirt? Was her face wet from her tears?

But if so they could only be tears of happiness.

Nunnally remembered she nodded in agreement. But was it after or was it before she found herself safe in his embrace? She remembered she whispered: --

“Yes, Alois. But you know that already, don’t you…?” – but were these her exact words? Or perhaps she said nothing…?

Or perhaps ‘I love you.’ Was that what she said?

She remembered how intoxicated she was with him, with his smell, with the touch of his hands on her skin, under her summer blouse…

With the scent of the late summer evening…

She remembered how her slender digits were touching Alois’s bare skin and how it made her shivered. How their lips met in a long passionate kiss. Perhaps that was the only answer she gave him and no words were needed. No matter what she did (or didn’t), Nunnally knew Alois understood her reply. And accepted it. H e r. As deeply as she did accept him.

Was it then when they were kissing till they lost their breath that they decided they were getting married? Or did they know that before?

That day was a promise. But a promise that wasn’t fulfilled immediately. So much yearning and pain in between.

That day was a promise, though. A promise that happened. And is happening now.

---

Nunnally looks at her husband sleeping next to her. His hair still blond, but soon it will be turning grey. Years after that evening on the rooftop. She ruffles his hair gently. She doesn’t want to wake him up. Alois had a difficult day yesterday. But Nunnally cannot stop herself from caressing his cheek. Just before slipping away from bed, and making sure he’s covered. It’s a spring day that is just starting. Chilly, but the sun beams are already getting through the thick curtains in their bedroom…hopefully they’ll not wake up Alois…

She’s standing there naked before she lazily puts on her morning gown. Another day to remember.

“I love you, Alois…” – her lips whisper. They have had so many wonderful days together. And hopefully many more to come. Her gaze wanders to her jewelry box; standing opened on her nightstand (she must have forgotten to close it yesterday). Among many expensive pieces, there’s one that is the dearest to her: her first wedding ring. It looks old and cheap (though so similar to what she is wearing every day now), but it is so dear to her heart. Unique.

Was it the reason they found each other again?

A life without Alois. She doesn't want to even think about it.

She’ll go and prepare him his favorite breakfast…she plans.  Nunnally gives her husband a final loving look before she heads for the door.

@dasmondkuss

[royaletiquette]

[TABLE]: sender touches receiver's thigh under the table at a restaurant or a dinner party (Alois and Hibiko🌝)

prompts | @dasmondkuss

A waiter began making their rounds again, looking to see whose glass needed to be topped off. Between laughing at stories and her own jokes, they caught Hibiko's eye. She took her glass, making sure to get a healthy extra sip of wine before they made it over to Hibiko and Alois' side of the room. However, with her flushed cheeks and voice already louder than usual, it was becoming obvious she did not need help keeping up with anyone.

As it came their turn, Hibiko felt a hand on her thigh over her dress. It was placed with purpose, having enough of a weight to it to make sure it dragged Hibiko's attention. Her head rolled over towards Alois, offering a charming smile and gentle glance to the water left on the table to say she had probably had enough wine for now. She did, after all, only agree to let loose a bit after making Alois promise multiple times that he would be "keeping an eye on things."

Even still, Hibiko had to look over at the glass on the table and back to him before being able to put his silent clues together. Her smile slowly melted away, suddenly smacked with embarrassment. Oh . . . oh, she was drunk. "May I?" The waiter between them quietly asked. It took an extra moment to realize she was supposed to answer. "Mmm. No thank you." And they just as easily walked away.

The conversation around them continued like nothing, everyone still enthralled in their own humors. Hibiko however couldn't help the feeling that Alois saved her from ruining the night by mere seconds. She pinched and twisted the glass between her fingers a few times before placing it on the table, and instead, taking a small sip of the water. There was enough self-awareness to know she needed to stay calm, not apologize for her own humiliation, or worse yet, tear up over the honest mistake of possibly getting ahead of herself.

Looking at Alois with her large brown eyes, she was unable to read the judgment on his face but was in desperate need of reassurance. Leaning in, she whispered, "I- I haven't embarrassed you, have I?" Do they need to leave before anyone else sobered up enough to realize how much she had been? Should she excuse herself?

[tximidity]

The soul of a twink

but not the body of a twink

[mannequinentity]

@dasmondkuss |x|

Their endeavors to form a healthy friendship was entirely based on two individuals who were toxic in general. That doesn't mean he can excuse his flaws. Manny was certainly the worse personality compared to his old friend here. He can't recollect the headaches he caused upon Autumn, but it definitely wasn't a pleasant experience.

There was a completely different vibe to the once, eccentric man. His demeanor held an uncaring serious expression, his enthusiasm faded away, with his smell reminiscent of an earthy aroma laced with a foul odor.

"Turn it down, it's too loud." If he listened to the television any longer, he might have tinnitus soon.

"I'm talking to you. I said turn it down please." His tone seems to be firmer, a demanding voice who wishes for some peace and quiet for once.

[royaletiquette]

Hibiya was a young man; therefore, his behavior towards Alois was hot and cold. It was confusing, yet it was equally amusing. Alois didn't mind it.

There were days when Alois didn't know if Hibiya enjoyed being around him or if he was about to lose it on him—frantically desperate to shout something he'd regret later... Alois knew what Hibiya wanted to let out of his chest, that he had a little crush on him. It was highly flattering to catch a prince's attention, but Alois truly liked the opportunity to toy with him.

Alois has never been one to roughly play with his toys until they broke; what was the purpose of that? Instead, he'd imagine a thousand different ways to play, reinvent, and make it more exciting and entertaining... Hibiya wouldn't be the exception.

Alois didn't want anything else from Hibiya than to get his confession. He would love to see him unafraid and confident, coming in his direction with unyielding steps. Ultimately, Alois would catch him and reward him with a kiss for being so brave.

He invited Hibiya to a dinner on February 14th. Alois was aware it was Valentine's, but he played it as if he hadn't realized, and Hibiya wouldn't mention it. He had to bite his tongue and not laugh when he realized his conclusion was correct. Hibiya said yes, and Alois sent him the time and address of the restaurant a couple days later.

Now, in a private room, Alois waited for the prince. On the table was a Sauvignon Blanc, a white box with a golden ribbon that kept a Caron Poivre cologne, and a single white rose, which he gently held for the prince when he arrived.

"You came," Alois said, smiling. Then, touring Hibiya's figure with his eyes. He had made a little extra effort to look good. "You look breathtaking tonight." And Alois wouldn't let that effort go to waste.

@dasmondkuss

Oh... this was a lot. Hibiya tried not to eye the gifts on the table, as if ignoring them meant it had less impact. "Thank you," Hibiya plainly answered, following script. He looked at the rose, almost forgetting he needed to take it. "You look nice as well."

There was an obvious tension about him as Hibiya sat next to Alois, but was notably different than normal. It wasn't Hibiya being shy or uncomfortable with his emotions, it was the prince actively ignoring the elephant in the room. He was terrible at delivering bad news. But the old sentiment was true: it was easiest to rip the band-aid off. Since the risk was offending Alois, ruining whatever plans he might have had, it was best to address it now, before any food came to interrupt them.

"Alois." Hibiya began, meeting his stare for a moment as the rest of the words got caught in his throat. "I, um. I greatly appreciate this and it's tremendously sweet of you to want to spoil me as much."

"But, I'm not looking for anything serious between us." Alois took a breath to speak, but Hibiya quickly filled the air first, hoping to fully clear his name before any accusations could fly out. How exactly was he supposed to do that without sounding like an ass - I didn't want to date you, just sleep together maybe? "I apologize that I led you on. It was wrong of me to simply want to flirt and..." He didn't dare continue the confession. "I should have been more transparent with you from the beginning."