#data generation

[pearlniforever]

The Look Who's Talking movies and something about evolving empathy and sympathy as survival tools, and how pretending to talk for those who can't makes us develop observation skills that make us better stewards and caretakers for those who cannot speak.

[personallifegoals]

[personallifegoals]

[personallifegoals]

Good morning, everyone! It's stay sober to get necessary tasks done Thursday! That one isn't as catchy as other things I've come up with. Gotta stay sober for my dog this morning, and to show love and support to my loved ones and to be in the best condition to receive their love and support in return. Gonna wait to get high as long as possible.

Coolest win condition I can imagine for today:

No weed all day, I go to sleep tonight having stayed sober the whole day. (Unlikely but shoot for the moon, etc.)

Laugh with my sister

Make my brother laugh, smile, or give me a non-sarcastic thumbs up.

Think about niece and art

Tell Eliot he's a good boy.

Promote PBS

This morning I'm watching the Pressroom, Presented by azpm (my local PBS!). They're talking about a new Data Center going in near Tucson? Not gonna lie, it's dry as hell and my tiktok and YouTube shorts rotted attention span is having such a hard fucking time staying on the TV, keeps slipping back round tithe tablet.

The tablet is this is me typing this out. I think my autocorrect is trying to commit very sneaky sabotage one me. That or I'm an even worse writer than I thought I was lol. I look back on what I've written and it's nearly nonsense. I'm trying really hard, ya'll. I'm doing my best.

I'm spiraling the smallest bit now, just watch PBS.

Have a great day. Accept exactly as much new information from new perspectives as you can today, be kind and curious toward your neighbors. Ask for help and remember to say thank you as many times as you can, just watch PBS.

[personallifegoals]

Slept OK last night, getting to bed and falling asleep, no hassle whatsoever. Woke up at 430 as mom was going to bed. Made the foolish foolish mistake of believing I could roll on to my side, hit my vape and go right back to sleep. Nicotine and then having to pee, and then getting some water because if you're up, you might as well. I was awake awake by 500 despite trying to get back to sleep. Tonight plan to try a new habit of putting the vape somewhere I have to get up to hit it before I go to sleep since tooth brushing feels established well enough now.

Worked a bit on making my journal more what I want it to be. Thinking about that paper bag book I saw in YouTube shorts, gotta track that down. Did some origami, had tea, and took my pills.

Took Eliot out around 530, just took Eliot and Lola out. Did a little your baby is so cute, your dogs are so cute small talk exchange with a neighbor. The kids were only a little obnoxious, so overall a succesful morning walkie.

Did tea, pills, dogs, eat breakfast and morning journaling all 2 hours earlier than I'd usually get done.

[personallifegoals]

Terry Pratchett was really on to something.

[personallifegoals]

OK, a life plan cannot only be the Goals.

My starting point:

Unemployed (for 10 months, just had to count it, Jesus christ)

No income

Very little money (like $15 if I scrounge all the $2 and $1.50 account balances together)

Trying to claw myself out of a depression pit (I was hospitalized in November)

No routines in life besides taking my pills at night and in the morning.

Very little hygiene in my life all together, just barely don't have matting hair (yet).

I know from past experience that I gotta start small, like one new habit every 3 days or so. Last night, I brushed my teeth for the first time in about a month, so right now the plan is aim for teeth brushing every night for the next 2 nights, and then we'll add the next thing.

I gotta get a shower in soon. Honestly feel like if someone says hey, you need to take a shower and I'd just take care of it. Gonna smoke when I get done with this, maybe I'll just jump into the shower then. Dream scenario I finish this post, smoke, take a nice shower and wash my bedding since I don't have any to just swap them out for. Set an alarm for 3 hours and check back in.

I've got to work on the plans too, give myself a path forward to keep myself going.

So step 1 in plan is build habits: current progress, I have pretty consistently written SOMEthing every day since I started this project. We're gonna get teeth brushing in on the do everyday. Need to work on things like washing dishes as soon as I am done with them, and try to get showering to at least every 3 days.

While working on that, I should be getting at least one job application a day in, keep writing, keep working toward starting streaming.

OK, I'm gonna go smoke. Wish me luck, check on me in 3 hours.