#date everything errol

[pikavani]

HOW DARE YOU?!? MICROWAVES WILL NEVER BE OBSOLETE!!!

...and how dare I return after months of silence with a meme!? XD

I love dateeverything so much! Be prepared for more Fanart

[dirkdeveraux]

does this count as ship content

[imklare]

Am I almost done folks? I can't tell how many I got left 🫠also, holy hell I reached the maximum of tags for post

[diminand]

Dateables and textposts 15/30

All: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

ft my new horrendous tina x bathsheba crackship and swordfighting lesbians

[endahouselikecarpet]

Date Everything x Reader

Cleaning the objects

[CW- sexual content. Minors do not interact]

[So wouldn't cleaning the house be the same as giving the housemates a bath? Also there should be another content warning of, "sorry for the Errol section. I couldn't stop writing”]

Wyndolyn- She's very appreciative. Giggles when you use a spray and sighs when you're wiping the glass. The way she describes it, even though she's getting clean with the process, it's similar to getting a massage. She'll basically melt into a puddle when you do the outside windows. It's like when you have a pinch in your back and it finally goes away.

Mac- They try to act like it's all cool, but that doesn't last long. The screen and speakers went without incident. But, when you got to the keyboard they started to lose composure. They tried to hide it, but when you ran the cotton swab between the keys, their breath catches loud enough that you hear it.

"Sorry." They offer sheepishly. You take a moment to gauge the situation before you loop the swab around and between the arrow keys. They reach over to stop your hand and knocked you into their lap by bumping you lightly with their chair. They moved your hand over to the mouse, leaned in and hummed, "If you're going to keep teasing me with that, at least pay attention to my scroll wheel."

Luke- He gets nasty with it, and is unapologetic about it. To the point where it can be a bit off putting if you're not ready for it. He's not trying to be weird, he's just trying to flirt and doesn't know what half of what he says sounds like out loud. You walk up the microwave and nonchalantly say, "Hey, Luke, I'm going to clean the microwave." It was something you had done plenty of times. It wasn't something you had ever done when you could hear Luke though.

"Yeah? Oh, what a surprise~" he was suddenly very attentive, but his eyes were almost glazing over as he slightly bit his bottom lip, "You gonna open me up and tell me what a dirty boy I am?"

There were a painful few moments of awkward silence before Luke, face as red as his hair, asked, "Too much?"

"A bit." You, face same tint as his, responded.

"Should I dial it back?"

"Honestly," you sucked on the inside of your cheek, "I'm not sure I mind it."

Sophia- You were cleaning around the attic when you got to the safe. You were just minding your business, dusting around when there was suddenly a daunting presence behind you. "That tickles, kitten." Sophia purred.

"Oh, sorry," you said quickly, "I wasn't thinking about-"

"Who said you could turn around?" She used the leather loop of her crop to turn your face back the way it was facing. It then slid down your side before tapping a soft rhythm on your thigh; just to remind you it was there.

"Nothing to worry yourself about. You're just helping your Mistress stay clean. Cleanliness is next to godliness, after all." She leaned in and whispered, "And, you better be sure you give me the same amount of worship, wretch."

You probably wouldn't be doing much more house work today.

Errol- He didn't think this would go down the way it did. He knew that you had cooked something, and of course that meant you were going to have to wash things. The usual process was followed- you took his basket and tray over to the sink. Errol hummed a bit when you put the tray into the water; to say he can be tense is an understatement, and the warm water helped him pop a few joints. What he wasn't expecting was that there was something stuck on the tray. There was something happening to him with the increase of pressure on the trouble spots that you kept going at. His breathing started to get heavy, then catch here and there as his focus started to leave him. You, not knowing what was going on with the poor man, decided you needed to switch from your rag to a brush. You were going to go gentle so you didn't scratch the metal. That didn't happen as it seemed the change in textures was the end of Errol's tact.

"Harder." He whimpered.

"Errol?" You quested, only now finding out there was something up.

"Harder." This time he insisted, his eyes having that half-crazed look that you had seen a few times before. When you tried to figure out what to do, Errol pushed himself off the counter he was leaning himself on and practically flung himself at you. He was on his knees, looking up at you with still intense, yet pleading eyes, hanging onto your legs like a lifeline. "Please," he rasped.

You put the brush back on the tray and a shudder ran down his spine. You went back to work on the try, while the man at your feet started making unholy noises that increased in amount and volume until eventually his grip was so intense that it made you fall. While you were on your way to the floor, his mouth opened wide in a silent scream; that is, he was silent, but the alarm on the actual air fryer across the room suddenly went off.

As you got your bearings and went over to check on him you saw the fall you both had didn't seem to hurt him. His face, though still looking a bit blissed out, was fiery red and covered by his hands.

"Do you... Do you think the rest of the kitchen heard?" He mumbled through his hands.

"I'm pretty sure the rest of the house heard." You replied, giving his shoulder a comforting pat.

Drysdale- The exact opposite of the monstrosity I wrote above this, things are a lot more casual. When you walk into the laundry room, he's aware about what's about to go down. "What do you say, Cherub? Ready to open my lint trap?" Says the filthiest things while you're cleaning it out too. He knows he's getting to you too. Like, it's to a level where if you two weren't alright with Washford, then there would be a major problem.

Washford- More calm and tender than Drysdale. When you do need to clean the washer, he's sighing and complimenting. "You're being so gentle, my love. Be sure to let me return the favor." This sounds like a request, but he will make sure he does something for you later.

[beetlebubba]

Monsterrr AU..

[noneknowingaxolotl]

You know how some people speak VERY fast whenever they rant angrily in a different language? It got me thinking how some dateables, specifically Curt & Rod, Friar Errol and Freddy, would react if the player— who has always been calm— was going off on someone on their phone or just angrily ranting out loud just not in English for the first time.

—Curt & Rod—

They are WINCING the entire time they’re on that phone call. Be glad you’re not wearing your dateviators so you don’t have to hear their loud ‘oooooo’s like they’re in middle school watching a classmate get in trouble. Watching you lose your cool like this is not only amazing shade material— but extremely entertaining to watch. God they wish they had some popcorn, and a translator. They’d start placing bets on what you’re saying, and it would definitely start getting heated between them too.

When you do get off, they’re practically cheering at your little display, Rod excitedly asking you what you were saying (partially to settle his bets, partially out of his own amusement) whereas Curt is a little uneasy wondering who’s gonna get it from you next. It’s a new side of you they’re experiencing, they want to explore it, but perhaps from a distance.

—Friar Errol—

He is utterly GOBSMACKED. Just slack-jawed staring at the scene going down. He didn’t even know you spoke another language so it caught him off so many guards. He’d always seen you as a calm, level-headed person, so to see you go off the rails like this is both shocking and… strangely enticing?

Not sure if wrath is considered a sin under the god of convection, but it definitely feels sinful to witness such acid spitting from your tongue, even if he doesn’t understand a word. And from such a usually calm individual… it just feels wrong. It sticks in his brain, perhaps your words, as indecipherable as they are, replay over and over. He may chastise you for such indecency afterwards while actively trying to hide his flush. It’s not working. But honestly, he’s kinda wishing you’d do it again. You being bilingual is a bit of a bonus, he does love learned people.

—Freddy—

He’s got rather a complicated history with losing one’s cool, so seeing you so irritated, ranting in a language he can’t understand, does strike him where it hurts. He doesn’t like seeing you this way, knowing how terrible it feels. He’ll watch you closely as you furrow your brows in annoyance, anger marring your usually so-calm face. And when you talk to him again, he’s immediately gently asking you what’s wrong, who’s got you so worked up?

He’ll offer you whatever food he has on hand, prioritizing the things he knows you like to eat when you’re down. Then he’ll hard pivot into talking about just how cool it is that you’re bilingual, asking what languages you do know and to teach him some words. If there’s two things he’s great at, it’s comfort and distraction.

[rain-bow-ink]

So I decided to try and transcribe this music that you get from friar errol....

It's "never gonna give you up"

Here's the first three measures, I stopped after I realized what it was.