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Do you actually care about height in a partner?
No, height isn't important to me at all
Not really
Kinda, I do consider it
Yes, height is a dealbreaker
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chud4chud
chud4chud describes a dating preference or relationship in which two "chud" individuals—people often described as unattractive, unconventional, and losers—are attracted to and date each other.
chud4chud can be labeled with individuals of any gender/sexuality.
flag/term coined by me, @heavenlyparasite-0 on tumblr
[this is NOT in ANY WAY referring to nazis.]
Video by Imani Barbarin (AKA crutches_and_spice on Tiktok and Instagram).
[Description: Imani, a black woman, wearing a dark blue shirt with a white stripe around the collar and white buttons and a turquoise; orange; and black bonnet, looks at the camera. Everything she says is in white text outlined in black in the middle of the screen. End of description]
This is the best way I've ever heard it put.
I don't know how many of you have ever gone to reddit and saw those posts where the OP is asking women what makes a man unattractive, what is a red flag or something else along that line
Maybe you haven't had a ton of luck with dating so you're curious
Maybe you're just young and you want to know
Whatever the reason is, just remember not to take it all to heart
Some of those things are pretty universal like hygiene, being supportive and whatnot. But sometimes it can be a super specific thing that person finds unattractive but others certainly do not
Just keep that in mind before you needlessly stress yourself out
I think something difficult to express about the Internet's reactionary "I know I'm doing something harmful so I must use therapy speak to absolve myself and seek validation for it" that comes to me a lot is the topic of genital preferences.
People posit there are some bodies they are not attracted to. They state it would be illogical and dangerous to insist them to feel otherwise, which is something most everyone agrees with. But the crux is the difference between not dating people you aren't attracted to, which almost everyone does- and choosing to make a political statement about it which is not a neutral decision.
To frame it slightly differently and use a topic people are hopefully better equipped for- especially as this was (and continues to be) a large debate in queer circles for decades- the idea of white people who don't like dating non-white people.
Most of us can understand that having this preference is rooted in racism, but people are not saying to these people "You have a moral imperitive to date people you do not want to." They are at worst suggesting it might be worth interrogating these biases, which of course is viewed as belligerent.
There is a marked difference however between simply doing the thing, and making a statement. "I don't like dating people who aren't my race/are from a specific race. It's problematic to tell me that I have to do this. Let people have their preferences." It's the perfect blend of racist belief, backed up by the free speech entitlement to share those racist beliefs, that to disagree with the racist statement is to go against the autonomy of the person, and the language of sexual assault being employed as a defence.
In a similar vein, lots of people, for example, lesbians who are TMAs do not date trans women. Yes, there are underlying biases that need examined, and no, no one is insiting that it is mandatory for them to do so.
The move to position this however as a useful argument to make "I just wouldn't want to date someone with a penis, that's my person preference." Often paired with accusations of sexual assault for suggesting this may be an underlying feeling worth interrogating, the positioning of the speaker as neutral for having a preference and not recognising that sharing it while looking for absolution is in itself an act of transmisogyny, and of course the positioning of the trans woman as a woman with a penis, something that is not always true. Frequently the strawman is also invoked (why are trans women always *insisting* lesbians have to have sex with them!) something without real merit or basis, and perhaps a reflection of the anxiety that one is being judged for the genital preference.
This leads to a strange position where the speaker is able to espouse a transmisogynist view, feel vindicated and neutral for doing so, and also feel like someone who points out the transmisogyny is an aggressor (much like how someone pointing out a white person has done or said something racist is the highest aggression). It's actually a very interesting position for its unassailability. The personal freedom of choice in relationships is understood to be paramount, no one wants to force a person to date someone, but that idea undercuts expressing preferences against dating oppressed people in our society is not a neutral statement of preference, but an espousing of actively harmful views.
Perhaps a sillier example is the tumblr rap-hating white. No one serious believes that music of any genre is something someone should be forced to listen to. But you cannot make a post about loving rap on here, without a stranger appearing to explain why they don't, and sharing their doctor's note that explains they have a very special type of condition that makes engaging with art outside their culture very upsetting.
Most people understand that showing up to say "I don't like rap because it's scary/violent/noise sensitivity etc" is racist, not because the act of not liking the genre in isolation is racist (although that frequently informs the reason as to the dislike) but because showing up, seeking validation and absolution from the slightly racist behaviour, while positioning yourself as exceptional for having it and invoking the language of disability and autonomy is manipulative and racist.
You can just not listen to the song. You don't have to tell everyone you aren't and why you are not doing it.
I like the men I date to be a little bit gay and fag adjacent. Happy Pride
look, women are going to be women, so i believe the first run of pops was because of his height. we can have all the conversations about how hypocritical that is, but women are going to be women, and his height was definitely the primary reason for the first run of pops. the second run of pops was for his name, which admittedly is probably a little much for some people. it's a lot. it's cool in that kind of famous european classical composer vibe, but i get it if a woman thinks that's just a lot. petty, but we are talking about women. but it's the pop when he said he's a chef that kills me because i don't understand what's wrong with that. like there's a video of a girl saying that her ick is men who can cook, but i always assumed she was saying that just to be outrageous. but is that a real thing? a woman out here really unattracted to men who can get down in the kitchen? that's crazy to disqualify this man cuz he can cook! women are truly insane.
