do you think Bethany is actually deconstructing?
Honestly it feels like she is to some degree, but it's almost like it's against her will lol. Every time she starts talking about changes in her ideology, I can't get over this feeling that she's holding onto to parts of fundamentalism really hard, like the picture in my head is her being yanked away by her feet by logic while she still has her fingertips dug into her old ideas of morality.
It feels like there are parts of fundamentalism she can't wait to give up, like the way they define ideal womanhood, which I've always felt has maybe made Bethany feel a little insecure as a tall girl who got married at 30 and struggled with pregnancy and fertility. But inevitably, there will be aspects of her old ideology that she either found comfort in, or just fully accepted as truth and reality, that will just be harder to deconstruct. And I can totally relate tbh, even if you feel like a fairly progressive person existing in a conservative Christian world, it still will get it's hooks in you in some ways and transitioning out of that is almost always harder than most people anticipate.
I feel like Dav is probably regularly presenting her with ideas and logic she just can't argue with, for lack of a better description. My understanding of Dav's beliefs is that he doesn't even consider himself a Christian anymore, so if Bethany makes up her mind to stay with him, there are just some things she'll have no choice but to deconstruct tbh. I can't get over the feeling that it might inevitably lead to their breakup though, because it just feels like for parenting and harmony's sake they will eventually have to be on the same page, and the vibe I get from Bethany at the moment is that she doesn't want to fully deconstruct at all. I don't know if she'll ever be able to get on the same page as Dav, who at the moment is super firm in his beliefs.
This is of course just my speculation, and probably me projecting my own feelings about mixed belief relationships onto them, it's totally possible that I'm wrong. Personally, it would just never work for me if I wasn't on the same page as my spouse about spirituality in particular because that's something I take very seriously (as I feel both Dav and Bethany do too just from listening to them talk about it) especially while raising kids.
I think it's also possible that Bethany ends up on Dav's level, but has a very difficult deconstruction period, which honestly many people from her brand of Christianity do. Something about that IBLP flavored, independent Baptist section of Christianity really worms its way into people and seems harder to shake than some other denominations.
