the star of the tree / self para
It was almost morning, not that he would’ve known, when they found the secret part of the cave that seemed to be a hidden treasure, only offered to the luckiest and most worthy. Hungry, not used to starvation and spoiled enough to reach for whatever sweets were within his reach as if they belonged to him, Val didn’t hesitate before taking one bite - unlike Satine. And for that, he couldn’t sleep at all, haunted by the divine taste of the gingerbread, ready to ruin the whole village bite by bite.
Though full, he just couldn’t have enough, and there was a deep feeling of emptiness that increased with every chewed bite and chased his every thought out of his mind. Soon, there was nothing other than the urge to eat, eating him alive. He forgot the fact that he was in the arena, he forgot who he was and what he was supposed to represent and he didn’t even care about the other silver parachute that came to his rescue, probably with the cure or something of a sort. Stronger than any drug, the gingerbread was fast taking over his life without hesitation. He swallowed, not even chewing anymore, ready to eat it all, but once the substances that made the sweet bread addicting reached his blood system and blended in with what he has popped and taken just before getting into the tunnels, just for a little bit of calming, he started feeling less fulfilled by the food and more and more nauseous.
The overwhelming feeling that he had to take the gingerbread out, fighting the crazy urge to keep eating, as if he was breathing gingerbread instead of air, was exhausting to him, but he kept eating, ready to burst. He didn’t know and didn’t care anymore where Satine was. Not when such a complicated inner conflict based on food was taking up all his mental space and keeping him so busy. All that existed was him, in that secret cave section, and what he was eating continuously.
Howsoever, the bad feelings didn’t get erased by the fact that gingerbread did, in fact, make him feel good - a shallow side-effect ready to be followed by worse. His chest felt stabbed, and he wondered for just a moment if he hadn’t been found and knifed, but it didn’t seem the case, as he looked down for a moment and saw no injury. Yet, the chest ache persisted, getting worse and worse by the moment. Eventually, he had to pause eating to press it, and see what was happening, but a fast dizziness that made him useless in a matter of seconds took over him. He couldn’t even reach for the remaining gingerbread.
Not poisoned, but overdosing and mixing up dangerous substances without even meaning to, Val started burning inside, with a fever that didn’t explain how cold he has been feeling before. He could move nothing, and feel everything, and suddenly, his lucidity returned, in the blink of an eye, for nothing. He couldn’t voice any words and he couldn’t make any gestures, with eyes liquid on principle. He was dying, and there was no way to wave good-bye. Confused and weak, he could swear he’d heard a cannon noise, but he was still breathing, only seeing in the imminent future. All this time, he’s been so cynical that he forgot to at least hope he would succeed. And now that he was finally turning out to be right, as he always wanted to be, it was nothing he wanted. He wasn’t ready to die. He hadn’t talked to his parents in ages. He couldn’t leave his agent alone - and his agent couldn’t leave him alone in an improvised heaven. There was so much he hasn’t said and so much he hasn’t filmed. His potential wasn’t as over as his time, and that frustration alone allowed the tears to stream down his cheeks despite his inability to move anymore.
He wasn’t ready to fade away. As he lost the consciousness he’s gained for one flashed moment, he started shaking rapidly, and it didn’t take long for the cannon to announce Val’s good-bye for him. There was nothing more mundane and simpler than that, and that death alone would have killed him as a concept.
Soon, the pretty face, with his eyes watered by tears, almost artistically looking, as they’ve wiped off the vomit and drooling, was to be found on the top of the Christmas tree in the Cornucopia. A star, to the end. Like a tribute brought to the tribute who just died.