#dayninetysix

[faintest-first-starlight]

145/365 Look at that focal point though! #springphotochallenge #dayninetysix https://www.instagram.com/p/CQXWSBAF8sH/?utm_medium=tumblr

[elle-vaytor]

Urgh, I got next to no sleep last night.

Mainly because I’m getting sick again.

I just got over my bronchitis and now that lovely pollution in China’s atmosphere got me again.

My sinuses hurt and I’m coughing up phlegm at regular intervals.

Once I got confirmation from PE and AS that they were still coming for Movie Day at my place, I dragged my butt out of bed, eat some Weetabix, took a shower and went to Carrefour to buy alcohol and snacks.

My guests finally arrived between 14:40 and 15:00 and we ended up having a fantastic day together! I ordered pizzas and chicken wings and PE was kind enough to bake me a chicken pot pie too, which was a really sweet gesture.

I watched an awesome anime movie called ‘Your Name’, which gave me the feels so hard. I definitely need my own copy of that movie so I can watch it with P when I go home for my winter holiday. Then I found a decent copy of ‘Gemini Man’, which the four of us watched next. PE kept cracking jokes about the fact that the female lead was useless in the storyline mainly because ‘she didn’t want the D’ from Will Smith.

PE’s hilarious when he’s drunk.

PE and his wife GR finally bid us farewell after that and AS and I ended up watching a Christmas movie called ‘Noelle’ with Anna Kendrick and Bill Hader. It was really cute, I’m in love with the white baby reindeer called Snowcone.

Is it even possible to adopt baby reindeers?

Lol, probably not.

Even though I was exhausted and feeling sick for most of the day, I’m glad I hosted Movie Day at my place for me and my colleagues. It’s just too bad that C was sick and couldn’t make it and CI ended up taking a walk outdoors. It was a lovely day for walking in CI’s defense.

I hope I have enough energy tomorrow. I’m gonna see D and KI tomorrow since I haven’t been able to spend time with either one for weeks now. My bank account probably won’t thank me, but sometimes it’s good to spend money and be around people.

After taking some Benadryl, two Advil’s and an effervescent flu tablet, I made a new folder on my phone for some pictures my sixth graders sent me for their projects about planets. I ended up scrolling down to my old folder of pictures of me and X from our very first trip together.

It was really bittersweet. Mainly because I saw so many things in those pictures that I’d let go of. First, there was Christie, my old teddy bear, that I gave back to X two months ago. Then there was our couple rings, one of which I threw away three months ago. And then there were the origami butterflies that X made for me, which ripped into tiny shreds, stamped on, and then threw away.

I think I did the most damage to the last gift mainly because they were so beautiful and I liked destroying their beauty even more somehow.

I think I need to take those photos off my phone soon. It hurts to see how happy X and I once were together, if that part wasn’t also a lie. I won’t delete the photos because I never do. I still have old pictures of KA on my laptop, which I rarely look at. I’ll just my pictures of X on my laptop in her old file with the stories I wrote for her and the silly sketches I made for her when we were still planning out our future together.

I guess I hate letting go of things and people.

I also need to throw away the letter I wrote to X nearly a month ago.

I shouldn’t hold onto these things, it’s not healthy for me.

Anyway, it’s time for bed. I hope I can carve out some sleep before all my socializing tomorrow. Time to chase away these bad feelings about X and focus on the present and the future instead.

[yourdisappointedarms]

“I feel too tightly constricted in everything that signifies Myself: even the eternity that I am is too tight.” #franzkafka #blueoctavonotebooks #bohemian #jewish #germanspeaking #novelist #shortstorywriter #inspirationalquotes #dayninetysix (at Akron, Ohio)

[empirebyt]

[the-bright-side-of-the-darkside]

❤❤❤ #MissYou #LoveYou #DayNinetySix

[tompaitowsky-blog]

Bring it on. Bitch. #100DaysOfWriting #dayNinetysix #filmmaking

[unfinishedsimphonie]

holy shit. one day down. six more weeks to go.