#dblogposts

[destinattion]

2/28/18

We fell because we were built on a foundation  of never-said truths

[destinattion]

11/27/17

Keurig

Coffee grinds, Two strangers, separated and packaged  contained in an air-tight K Cup two extremely different lives

All that pent up bitterness,  introduced to the Keurig each other fusing those dispersed grinds souls with water chemistry

creating the beautiful end product: coffee love which coats thaws the throat heart with warmth

the grinds souls are forever changed, because it’s obvious  that you can’t change coffee back into coffee grinds I can’t forget you even if I tried

[destinattion]

Heartbreak does not function like most things in life.

The more you workout, the stronger you get. The more you smoke, the better your tolerance. The more you practice, the more perfect the performance.

But the more you love, the harder you fall. The heart does not simply ‘get used to' being broken. I can't count the number of times I've been hurt. It's probably because I'm the all or nothing type. I either feel to deeply, or not at all. You would think I would learn by now: things like how to deal with the disappointment, how to take care of myself, and how to keep going.  That’s what they teach you in therapy. But the pathetic truth is that each time I try again, it only gets worse. It's like glass shattering into a million pieces. You can collect the shards and piece them back together, but in the end the glass isn't going to go back to the way it was before it broke. That's the way loss works. I always think 'what went wrong this time?' I find the chink, repair it–only to find out it's a different issue I've never even considered. I've come to the conclusion that the only way to really experience anything truly great is to put yourself on the line. Recognizing this, is that much pain really worth the risk? How many repairs can I make before the glass collapses in on itself?

[destinattion]

10/30/19

The American (day) Dream 

The land untouched at first                                               later The few buildings that begin to emerge                                               are tainted

through the winter of my life, the men worked tirelessly among the concrete

                                                         “iron will”

As if blinking the dust out of their eyes could help them see the gates to

                   where?                                to what land?                                                      Can we enter into 

the American country–Lana Del Rey’s

                                                      a dark paradise of

rich girls with daddy issues

where depraved dependence is common

                                                     & the boys who say

“hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have”  showering their daughters in dirty money

                                                     for Monica Lewinsky has seen it?

[destinattion]

8/28/19

4 months ago, home was Paris. 4 days ago, home was Hawaii. 4 minutes ago, home is New York.   4 ever, home will be you.

[destinattion]

4/25/19

J’ai pensé j’étais prêt pour mon retour aux États-Unis mais je ne serai jamais appeler Paris  « chez moi » encore.  Je sais pas pourquoi je l’ai seulement réalisé qu’aujourd’hui mais merde...je quitte Paris dans 3 jours 

[destinattion]

4/17/19

*complains I’m bloated* 

*proceeds to eat a carton of Ben and Jerrys*

[destinattion]

4/16/19

After you

Paris’ usual odor of piss and cigarettes had a tinge of earthiness to it. Cherry blossom trees lined the cobbled-stoned streets. Spring was here–and she was in full bloom.

“Babe, I got you flowers.” I turned to face him. “Wait! Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”

I felt the cool petals spilling into the palm of my hand. I smiled and opened my eyes. The tiny pink pearls seemed to wink at me as they glistened in the sunlight. And there Neil was: my human, my boy, my love, standing there and smiling right back at me.

It was then that I realized it wasn’t spring that I needed all along. You have added all the color to the mess of this world.