Nov 2, 2016
Uh majority of your posts are showing up on my dash with no post body, only comments and tags.
Yeah I noticed, I have no idea what the issue is. Goddamn Tumblr.
seen from United States
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from France
seen from Canada
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Netherlands
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Netherlands
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
Uh majority of your posts are showing up on my dash with no post body, only comments and tags.
Yeah I noticed, I have no idea what the issue is. Goddamn Tumblr.
Re: Meds. Don't worry, I think they only work really well for a tiny number of people. I've only had occasional results with SSRI:s, at the cost of catastrophic side-effects. You can gain weight in a big way, lose libido, etc. Have you tried: melatonin or tryptophan? If yes to melatonin, have you tried small enough doses?
Thanks for shooting this over to me, dude. I appreciate the support. Meds definitely seem like a “Your Mileage May Vary” type thing, which I suppose makes sense given that brain chemistry is unique to everyone and no two people are going to have exactly the same balance. Hence, fucking with that balance is going to have wildly different results from person to person. No wonder this shit isn’t well understood.
So far I’ve tried - and these might be marketed under different names depending on the country you’re in - Citalopram, Sertraline, Fluoxetine, Venlafaxine, and more recently Mirtazapine, all in varying dosages and all either having no effect at all or no beneficial effect and a catalogue of horrible unintended side-effects. I’ve not been very lucky with meds as of yet, and at the moment I’ve given up trying with them because it seems as though my depression is very much of the Treatment Resistant variety.
Again, this would make sense since it has a situational cause, namely my dysphoria and the weight problems that are preventing me from solving it. No amount of fucking with my brain chemistry is going to fix this problem for me, and I could say the same about therapy.
That said, I’d really like it if my brain would stop doing the wacky brain chemistry shit and allow me to do simple, harmless Normal People things from time to time, e.g., having stable moods, sleeping properly and remembering to eat when I am hungry. That’s not an unreasonable thing to want.
After the first five, most of these are either depressing or kind of sleazy to ask! 22, 31, 40. Well those aren't cheeriest either...
22: Talk about your worst fear.
I’m afraid of so many things: failure, public ridicule and humiliation, pain, someone breaking into my home, losing my mental abilities/eyesight/hands due to an accident or an illness, losing people close to me… Most of them are these sort of worst-case scenarios that I don’t fear all the time but they are always in the back of my mind and sometimes I just start thinking about them, and the possibility that any of those things could happen to me makes me terrified. Maybe the worst one is the fear of dying, specifically dying young and in a way that’s slow so that I’ll have time to think about it and all the things I will never experience.
31: Talk about what you think death is like.
I don’t believe in life after death and I think that your “soul” is just your personality and memories which all exist in the brain, so when your brain stops working, that’s it. I think it’s like falling unconscious and never waking up, just not existing anymore. But that’s not why I’m afraid of dying, actually it sounds better to me that eternal life. It’s just the idea of dying before I’ve experienced everything that life has to offer, and having time to realize it.
40: Talk about the end of something in your life.
To make this thing less depressing, I wanted to come up with something bad in my life that has ended. When I went to upper secondary, bullying in school ended because all the assholes went to a different school and the art school I went to was full of lovely, awesome people who made those three and a half years some of the absolute best years of my life.
37., 43., 46.
37. vituttaako suomi?
Maa vai kieli? No sama se, ei kumpikaan erityisemmin vituta, paitsi valtiomme asiallinen ja pätevä hallintoelin aina välillä.
43. tunnetko jonkun tampereelta?
No hyi en todellakaan, kaikki luuserit asuu siellä. :D
46. oletko ollut tekemisissä lehmien kanssa
Ihan liian vähän. Lehmät on mainioita.
In your metas, you've said that John's words at Sherlock's grave were practiced, the way his speech to Mary in HLV was. I think the part about "please stop being dead" was raw, spontaneous, not premeditated... but I can't watch that scene without crying, so I won't check. All these well-worded litttle speeches from John indicate to me that he has been working hard at learning to express himself, to put feelings into words.
Hmm okay…yeah, fair enough.
I said that speech was”practiced” like the one for Mary, but since he doesn’t think he’s going to speak to directly to a living breathing Sherlock, I don’t think it’s actually the same kind of “practiced”. In the case of the graveside speech, I mean that whatever he manages to say are things that he has repeated in his head a lot of times already.
I don’t think emotional things come out of John’s mouth without running through his head a lot of times first. I don’t think John can learn to be better at this the way that Sherlock can learn to accept and embrace his emotions. John finds emotional honesty really difficult and I suspect he always will. Which, fictionally, is fabulous, because it means there will always be something else under the surface that you know he’s feeling and acting on, but can’t vocalize. It’s a beautiful thing. He’s a beautiful character.
I don’t think the things John said at Sherlock’s grave are any less real or raw because he’s already thought them a bunch of times. I think the things he manages to say are always massive understatements, including and especially “don’t be dead.”
That probably makes it worse, doesn’t it.
dead-dory replied to your post “So, His Last Vow. What could that mean? Only two things you can do...”
I think you're very much on the right track here. But I'm nervous about the cliffhanger. Will Sherlock lie to John about everything again? Will he lie to keep Mary's dark secret, the one Magnussen is blackmailing her about? This is very stressful.
I don't think he can lie to John about something significant again without it being repetitive and undoing the character development we've seen. But yes, it is very stressful. I sense another weekend in my future where I'll get absolutely nothing done.
dead-dory replied to your post “I just have a lot of feelings about Molly Hooper”
I get a sense of foreboding. Like, now that Sherlock is so genuine towards her, she seems to have taken a step back, acting more guardedly. Also, the Sherlock-clone she's dating could indicate a more severe obsession... :D
Well, she could just have a thing for tall, dark haired men in big coats. And even if she did start dating Tom, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with their relationship. People start dating people for all sorts of wrong reasons. They're enganged, so clearly they've been together for some time, and I seriously don't believe Molly is the sort of person who would marry someone simply because they reminded her of somebody else. She may have initially chosen him because of his resemblance to Sherlock, but I have no doubt that she's come to care about him for himself. We haven't seen much of Tom, but to me he looks like someone very unlike Sherlock personality-wise.
That said, the Sign of Three trailer has upped my Molly/Lestrade feelings considerably.
dead-dory answered your question:I’m just a bit confused about the timeline though....
Maybe the answer is to stop expecting coherent timelines from this show.
Maybe I should just think of it as a very clever nod to ACD's inability to keep track of anything.