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Wolf & Fox
Alexis & I are back together & I couldn’t be happier. You should follow his tumblr, deadasdaisies, because its awesome. He posts a lot of tattoos, wildlife, & other random things.
Edit: I should probably mention that his blog is nsfw.
Working on mind puzzles from pretty puzzle books we bought today. He got a Tolkien one that I pointed out & I got a Word Lover's puzzle & quiz book as well as Logic puzzle book. I love doing stuff like this with people I care about. Simple bliss.
I just want to sleep...
but at least I am lying next to you. Things could be worse.
The way you are sleeping with your head resting on my legs right now is the sweetest & cutest thing ever. I wish I could take a picture but I don't want to disturb how peaceful you are in this moment. I love you, Sugar.
My most recent ex is one of my best friends. We are working through our issues (because no one is perfect) but I am grateful to have him as an important person in my life. I will always love you, Sugar. Thanks for helping keep me grounded when I thought I would float away.
The Truth
I wanted to kiss you, too, while you were here tonight. Also, I had a great desire to hold you all evening & fall asleep in your arms. Those feelings will likely never go away but right now, distance is what I need despite anything I may want. Thanks for leaving me with that smile I have always adored. It is the greatest gift you could have given me during this time we will spend apart. Take care of yourself, Sugar. I will love you always.
Why can’t you see that I am doing everything I can still to try & get us back together eventually?
Why can’t you realize that I am still hoplessly in love with you?
Why do you have to keep lying to me? Don’t you realize it makes me look like a victim of a bad relationship everytime you do that & I come running back to you.
Do you really even care about me anymore? If you did why would you do the one thing that hurts me over & over again. You know I always catch you one way or another. So why not just be completely open & honest with me?
You claimed that I gave up on us months ago but the truth is I never have. At this point I am positive that you have given up on us being together. Then again, you gave up months ago when you claimed that I was the one who did.
Ever since she came into your life you have been lying to me nonstop. Besides the fact that she is currently dangerous for anyone to be around, especially someone who isn’t mentally stable, she is also the catalyst of a slew of lies. Why would you want to be friends with someone who turns you into a shitty person?
I want us to sit & get coffee. I want to talk things over & work on our problems. You are trying so hard to push me away & if that is what you really want I will go. But I am pretty sure you don’t want to lose me. Somewhere in there is the man I want a family with - our little hybrid wolf/fox babies (would you call them pups or kits?). I can feel it when we touch - the way our energies entwine.
This is why it hurts so bad every time you lie to me. Its because I don’t know how to give you up & get over you. If you still care about us at all, then do this simple yet difficult thing for me. I have lost so much during this relationship (two apartments, two friends, two jobs) & while I don’t put the blame on you, I ask that you give up only two things for me (though the second one is more for our future children). I hope you can do this.
The Fox is Drowning
& no one seems to notice at all.
