#deadbonessinderhellaton

[gordonradiotv]

Maybe they found a really nice bird and wanted to show you?

THAT WOULD BE EXCELLENT! BUT I’M AFRAID THAT MAY NOT BE THE CASE!

[chantillyxlacey]

Re: three sentence fic meme: how ‘bout one for an OC of yours?

Faith had plenty of experience with grief: she’d grieved for her grandfather and then her father when she’d lost them one after the other; she grieved for her little brother even though he wasn’t dead, just very far away, back in California, and probably well within his rights if he hated her for leaving; she even grieved for her mother despite everything-- but none of it had prepared her for having to grieve for herself.

She’d been back home only once since she’d woken up on the beach that morning with no memory of how she’d gotten there or how she’d died; Sophia hadn’t been able to see or hear her at all, though Circe had apparently been able to. The frantic way Sophia had called her name when the phone rang, the crushed look when the voice on the other end of the line obviously wasn’t hers, the pitiful way Circe meowed when she tried to rub against Faith’s legs and couldn’t-- it had been too much and she’d fled and couldn’t make herself go back, even though she’d been able to make herself visible to little Artie on the beach now.

[haberdashing]

🌹

“Part of Jon suspected that if he dived in, he might never surface again.”

[queertazsecretsanta]

A gift for @deadbonessinderhellaton, created by @cryptid-cryptonomica!

~~

Aubrey knew perfectly well that she got herself in this situation. She knew exactly why she was jammed in the back of Ned’s Lincoln with Dani and Jake. She knew that she’d be pressed against the window for an entire hour. Now, she was going to have to deal with the consequences.

She didn’t know why Jake had insisted on Dani sitting in the middle. Dani was taller than him, so logically, she should have had a side seat. Aubrey also didn’t know why Jake was wearing a shit-eating grin when he suggested it. Dani was too nice to refuse.

The road to Snowshoe wasn’t in the best shape. There was uneven pavement and potholes everywhere. Ned also seemed to manage to hit every single one. Each time, it would jostle Dani into Aubrey. A few times, Dani had to grab Aubrey’s shoulder in an effort to prevent herself from flying forward.

Aubrey was, in the nicest way possible, dying. Her crush on Dani was something that she was trying to hide, but she felt like she was being incredibly obvious. She hadn’t spoken a word since she entered the car out of fear of stammering or slipping up. She just looked out the window and tried to keep her face from getting red.

Unfortunately, Dani began to talk to Aubrey. She leaned over and whispered, “So, why are we here again?” into Aubrey’s ear.

“I just wanted a pumpkin spice latte,” Aubrey said, trying to not sound miserable. “And then you said you’d never had Starbucks so we had to fix that. Then Jake said he wanted Starbucks as well.”

“Is Starbucks really that good?” Dani said.

“No,” Aubrey said, “I just really wanted a pumpkin spice latte.”

“You convinced Ned to drive for an hour just so you could get a latte,” Dani said.

“I am very persuasive,” Aubrey said.

“And why is Duck here?” Dani said.

“I’d also like to know that,” Duck said from the front seat.

“Because!” Ned said.

“Because what?” Duck demanded.

“Just because!” Ned said.

Duck turned around so he was facing the back of the car. He glared at Aubrey, “This is your fault.”

Aubrey gave him the thumbs up and a sheepish smile, “It is.”

Ned hit a pothole. Aubrey felt like he did it on purpose this time, because Duck hit his head on the roof of the car and Dani nearly collided with Duck. Aubrey reached out, wrapping arms around Dani’s middle and steadying her.

“Thanks,” Dani said, a smile on her face.

“No problem,” Aubrey muttered back.

“Can you fucking learn how to drive?” Duck said, whirling back around.

“I don’t think so!” Ned said cheerily. Duck glared at him. Ned ignored it, and just said, “We’re almost there!”

Aubrey looked out the window, and saw that she could see the Starbucks from here. The parking lot was practically empty. They would most likely be the only customers in the store.

Ned pulled in, and they all filed out of the car. Aubrey stretched as she got out, and then extended her arms to point at the Starbucks sign, “Welcome, my friends, to Starbucks.”

“I expected something fancier,” Jake said.

“Yeah,” Dani said. “Like? Stain-glass windows and gold-leaf.”

“It’s a coffee shop,” Aubrey said, dropping her arms.

“Yeah, an expensive coffee shop,” Dani said.

“Indeed,” Ned said.

“Okay, but it’s also a chain restaurant,” Aubrey said, “It’s not going to be like a five-star cafe.”

“Ahh,” Dani said.

“Can we just get coffee, please?” Duck said.

“Alright,” Ned said.

They filed into the shop. Aubrey immediately bounced over to the counter.

“Hello, welcome to Starbucks, how can I help you?” The barista said.

“Hi!” Aubrey said, “Can I please get a grande pumpkin spice latte?”

“Sure thing,” the barista said. “Anything else?”

Aubrey waved Dani over. Dani nervously shuffled over. She looked up at the menu, clearly intimidated.

“What can I get for you?” the barista asked.

“Um,” Dani looked up at the menu. She turned to Aubrey and whispered, “There’s so much?”

“She’ll have the grande berry hibiscus refresher,” Aubrey said.

“And the names?” the barista said.

Aubrey gave the barista their names. She noticed that they spent more time on Dani’s cup than Aubrey’s. Aubrey didn’t bother commenting on it as she paid.

They stepped over to wait for their drinks. Once they got them, they found a table. Aubrey happily sipped her drink as she watched the rest of her friends order.

Duck just looked tired when he slid into the booth. He took a long drag of his drink before he said, “Why do they have more than one blend of coffee?” He didn’t give them time to answer. “Who needs three different kinds of coffee?”

“I don’t know?” Aubrey said.

“Like? What the fuck is a blond coffee?” Duck said.

“It’s Elle Woods,” Ned said, sitting down next to Duck. Aubrey looked at Ned’s drink. It was an unholy bright pink colour.

“What did you order?” Aubrey asked as Ned swirled the straw around.

“It is a vanilla bean frappe with raspberry syrup and dragon fruit,” Ned said.

“It hurts my eyes to look at,” Dani told him.

“It hurts my soul to conceptualize it,” Aubrey said.

“It tastes quite good, if you were wondering,” Ned said.

Jake finally joined them, also holding a pink drink with a mountain of whipped cream on it. It was less pink than Ned’s.

“Strawberry frappe?” Aubrey asked.

“I like it because it’s pink,” Jake said with a nod. He sat down next to Dani, and then said, “What’s that on your cup?”

“Huh?” Dani said, turning the cup around. “Oh.”

Aubrey looked over. In neat handwriting on the cup was a phone number, with the message call me written next to it. Aubrey tried to suppress her jealousy. It wasn’t Dani’s fault that she was absolutely gorgeous.

“How do I explain that I don’t have a phone?” Dani said.

“Just ignore it,” Aubrey said, a little harsher than she intended.

“It feels rude to just… throw away the cup,” Dani said.

“It’s unprofessional,” Aubrey said.

“Quite,” Ned agreed. “They should have asked you directly for your phone number.”

Dani laughed, “I don’t think that’s professional, either.”

“I suppose so,” Ned said with a shrug.

“Here, Dani,” Aubrey said, changing the subject. She handed over her drink, “Try some.”

“Does it taste like coffee?” Dani asked, wrinkling her nose as she took the cup.

“No, it tastes like sweet,” Aubrey said.

Dani took a sip, and made a face. “It tastes like coffee.”

“Oh,” Aubrey said, taking the cup back. “I don’t think so.”

“I like mine better,” Dani said, “It actually tastes like sweet.”

“Let me try,” Aubrey said. Dani slid the drink to her. Aubrey had a swig of it. Dani was right. It was incredibly sweet.

“What did you get?” Ned asked. He had an expression on his face that made Aubrey a little uncomfortable. She couldn’t exactly place what it was.

“The berry hibiscus,” Dani said, “That’s what you called it, right?”

“Yeah,” Aubrey said.

“Oh?” Ned said, a grin spreading on his face. “Did Aubrey suggest it?”

“Yeah?” Dani said.

“In Victorian times, giving a hibiscus meant that you were acknowledging the receiver’s beauty,” Ned said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Aubrey felt her face flushing. That was why Ned had a shit-eating grin on his face. She tried to subtly flip him off from under the table. Ned gave her a smug wink.

“Neat!” Dani said.

“Why do you know this?” Duck said.

“I’m gay,” Ned said, as if that were an answer enough.

“You certainly are,” Duck said, sounding tired.

“Somebody has to be,” Ned said.

“You’re literally sitting at a table of gays, my dude,” Jake told him, before he took a long sip of his frappe.

Ned rolled his eyes, “I’m the supreme gay.”

Jake looked offended, “No way! You don’t get to claim that title.”

“I do believe that I do,” Ned said.

“Dani, I’m more gay than Ned, right?” Jake said.

“Sure thing,” Dani said, noncommittally.

Jake and Ned continued to bicker. Duck nursed his coffee and tried to mediate.

Dani looked on with a smile. She leaned over to Aubrey, “Starbucks isn’t really that good.”

“Not really,” Aubrey said. “Sorry.”

“Nah,” Dani said, “It was worth it.”

“Yeah?” Aubrey said.

“Yeah,” Dani said. “Definitely worth it.”

“Why?” Aubrey said.

“I got to spend time with you,” Dani mumbled, looking away from Aubrey.

Aubrey smiled. “I feel the same.”

Dani smiled back, and leaned on Aubrey. “Let’s never come back here.”

“Agreed.”

[nicholasthepunisher]

Have you finished hard mode in ds2 & 3 yet?

no i haven’t 😔 closest i got was playing through DS3 on classic mode to unlock the devil’s horns. i think i could probably complete DS2 on hardcore but i’ve read that for the PC port of the game it’s a gamble on whether or not the hand cannon will actually unlock once you finish a playthrough on hardcore, so it’s put me off. i don’t want to go through all that effort with nothing to show for it

[catsafarithewriter]

deadbonessinderhellaton replied to your post “FINALLY HIT 100K FOR THE BUREAU FILES!”

holy shit, tbf is officially longer than '1984'

its more entertaining than '1984' too 

Haha, thanks! 

Also...

I have no self control and I regret nothing 🙃

[literalliterature]

🥝🧪🔫

🥝: What's your music taste like?

At this point it's like. Maybe 60% indie folk/pop/rock of varying popularity and quality, 40% dad music (but really mostly Bruce Springsteen), and 10% musical theater and whatever other random bullshit catches my fancy. I tend to like stuff that's percussive, more on the acoustic side of the spectrum, and most of all really interesting image-painting lyrics.

🧪: Are you an art person or a math/science person?

What a great, seemingly straightforward question that I don't have a good answer for lmao. Idk, man, I majored in creative writing and I've been working in a genetics lab for the past three years, I just took an editing job but it's for an osteopathic medicine organization, my favorite hobbies include making things and traipsing after a cool bug I saw. I'm just curious about a lot of things, and I think that's a quality you need to succeed in both art and science (though whether I've truly succeeded in either is debatable).

🔫: your friend texts you "i need your help hiding a body" wyd?

Like. I would at the very least like to ask for more information about to whom the body belongs but if it's a close friend I would of course be doing this while grabbing my shoes and lighter fluid and heading out.

Thanks so much!!! 💕💕💕💕💕

[tcrmommabear]

Merry Christmas Cinder!

@deadbonessinderhellaton, yours hit me like a golf club, and I was simply at its whim.

It’s rare when one prompt speaks to me so strongly. Two at the same time is almost unheard of. Yours (sort of) has three prompts.

How did Haru end up running the Bureau? + Faustian Bargain/Deal with the Devil + “Ghosts are like relatives”

I struggled so hard with this, until the format finally hit me. And then yours was done and I wanted a full fic. I hope you enjoy this as much as I had writing it!

Cobblestone was cold. Cobblestone was familiar.

Cobblestone was pressed against her cheek and that’s not exactly where it should be.

Where should it be? Where should she be?

Images popped into mind, bubbling forth from somewhere familiar but blocked. Names, places, words, feelings. A slideshow before her eyes, leading her to where she needed to be.

Horror crashed through her.

“No!”

***

“Baron! Watch out!”

She yanked him arm, fire singeing her hands as it roared past them. They pressed up against the wall, listening to the dragon inhale, rumbling growl rattling through their bones.

They glanced at each other. Adrenaline coursed through her veins, hot and jittery, and she couldn’t stop the wide grin she gave him. His own almost matched the intensity of hers, breath heavy.

“That’s one way to get his attention,” she joked. His grin grew wider.

“Well, we’ve certainly got it now.”

***

She settled her life in places that she could. A goodbye note here, hints of life there.

A tearful goodbye with her mother that didn’t keep. She inserted herself into her life as much as she could, all the way up to the end. Sat on the couch, like she was a teenager again, coming home from a date or a party.

Instead she came home from life or death situations.

Except the second one wasn’t even an option.

***

She strained to hear, effectively pinned into place.

His voice was there, it was just out of reach, and she couldn’t stop him.

“... Everything. Do you swear on that?” he asks, voice colder than she had ever heard it. Harsher, demanding, authoritative.

“Don’t-!” she screamed out, but the words muffled against her lips and barely cut through whatever was holding her back.

They looked at her, two faces eerily similar. Except for two little horns curling from the one on the right’s temples. That one gave a splitting grin, flesh cracking. Cheshire.

Devilish.

It was in front of her, and she caught it all in full, watched the head tilt. The voice warped, familiar cloaked in nightmares. Turned its body to give the other a hand to shake, head still locked onto her.

“Do you swear?” he demanded again, hand just hovering out of reach.

The other forcibly clasped it, giving it a shake.

“Every damn day,” it told her.

***

“Look out!” she roared, dashing towards the young woman almost caught in flames and hissing liquid.

They tumbled to the floor, rolling as she shielded the other with her body. She wanted to howl as acid sunk into her flesh, but only grit her teeth. She could already feel herself knitting back together, bare back against the elements with the fabric of her jacket and shirt gone.

“Miss Haru…” the young woman whispered in horror, reaching up to wipe away at remnant acid still fizzing away.

“Don’t!” she blurted, catching her hand before it could touch it.

A roar sounded off in the distance, the beast running after another prospective meal. Haru slowly sat up, then stood, and finally reached down to help her client up. They glanced at each other, Haru looking around the corner to see if she could spot their monster.

“I’m so sorry Miss Haru,” the woman sniffed, drawing Haru’s attention,” I should have been more careful, you got hurt-.”

“Stop that,” Haru interjected, gripping the other’s shoulders, “you stop that right now, Miss Noelle. That thing can’t hurt me in ways that matter, and I would protect you again in a heartbeat. You’re the most important one here.”

Noelle stared up at her, and Haru briefly panicked as she saw the starstruck look appear in her eyes. Cursed herself for being too much like-.

“Chicky!” Muta slid suddenly into Haru’s line of sight, coming from a different path of the maze.

“Muta!”

“Chicken Wings has got its attention, but we gotta move,” he bellowed, rushing up and pushing the women along.

Then Toto flashed overhead. Then the beast crashed through the maze and found them again.

“Oh fuck.”

***

“Shit! Fuck! God dammit! Fucking fuck fuck!”

Another book crashed against the wall, falling to the floor and slumping with its other abused brethren. The other two in the room didn’t say anything, just watched their de facto leader curse and destroy her home.

At least, her forced home.

“Haru…” Toto spoke up, softly. A book thumped near his head. He had the decency to flinch just a little.

“Don’t even try, Toto!” she screamed, fisting the cloth of her long skirt between her hands. Tears streamed down her cheeks, matting the soft brown fur. She wiped at the furiously, releasing the now-wrinkled skirt.

Muta crossed the room without a word, pulling her roughly into his arms. She didn’t fight the hold, sinking into it with a choked back sob. He rubbed circles into her back, humming lightly until she could breath a little easier.

“I can’t… He’s gone… How do I-”

“I know kiddo,” he interrupted, “I know.”

***

“Oh,” she mumbled, pulling her hand away. It came back red.

Panic or bile rose in her throat. She couldn’t tell which. She looked up at the others. They were shouting. Calling. Baron looked so scared. She gave a loopy smile. Giggled, because what else could she do?

“Well, that’s not good.”

***

She settled into routine. Easy enough.

Wake up. Dress. Tea. Paperwork. Read. Attend to clients. Drink. Sleep.

It was a pattern, an easy dance she knew the steps by heart. She was just missing a partner.

But she couldn’t stop.

The Bureau needed someone.

She just didn’t want it to be her.

***

She made the mistake of changing into lighter clothes when she became too hot. His breath caught in his throat, scanning over the myriad of scars she’d gotten over their adventures.

“Oh, right,” she laughed, tugging her shorts down in the hopes it’d hide everything, “it’s pretty surprising to see.”

“You’re… So delicate, Haru,” he breathed out, touching the scar she’d gotten from the Devil’s claws slashing her back., though his eyes were glued to twisting flesh of her thigh. When the dragon decided she’d make for a good snack.

“Comes with being human,” she replied, shivering as he pulled his hand away. Her own hand ran up her arm, feeling the bumps and odd feeling flesh.

“Right.”

She didn’t like the look on his face.

***

“Well, case closed,” she declared, dropping the file into the stack with finality.

Next followed the clunk of a wine bottle onto the desk. Her desk, she had to remind herself. The original wasn’t coming back anytime soon. So, hers from now on.

She poured into her tea cup, swallowing a mouthful of milky tea and wine. It was disgusting, but she couldn’t be bothered to get another glass. She only had two of them left, after all these years. Curious dogs, natural catastrophes, and Muta to be blamed for her losses.

She sank back in the chair, rubbing at her temples in the hopes it would spare her the migraine. Immortal lifespan, mortal aches and pains. They just couldn’t haunt her like they did before.

“To another helped client,” she toasted the air, which quickly began to fill with the sounds of a commotion. She grimaced, turning the chair away from the door and raising her feet on the desk. Not her division.

“To another year of searching,” she finished. Another mouthful. And the same tolerance for alcohol after all these years. It was a special occasion tonight. The first in a long time she didn’t wake up and forget where she was.

The commotion grew louder outside.

***

“You’re going to need to be more specific, lass,” the witch grumbled, his eyes narrowed.

She slammed her fist on the table, standing to pace.

“I told you! Baron took me to Castle Wyvern. He pinned me with his spell, then summoned the Devil. The Devil came-!”

“I heard you the first time and every single time after, missy!” the witch shouted, “What I’m missing is what did this Baron ask for?”

“Look at me! He must have wished for me to be a Creation like him!”

“Did he wish for you to be a Creation, or have a Creation’s immortality?”

She stopped.

***

“Miss Haru?” the client, a little boy named Bertrand, asked her.

She stopped to look over at him, pausing in pouring the hot chocolate. He looked around the Bureau in wonder, before meeting her eyes again. He still was nervous around her. She couldn’t blame him. She still wasn’t used to the… New situation she was in.

“What’s up, sweets?” she prompted, plopping a snowflake shaped marshmellow in the drink.

“How’d you start the Cat Bureau? What’d you think of to give you that idea?”

She clenched her cup tightly, nails cracking into the porcelain. At least it wasn’t the… Other set.

***

The commotion grew louder outside, and Muta suddenly burst through the doors.

“Oh, don’t tell me I missed greeting another client,” Haru groaned, half out of exhaustion of the massive amount of cases lately, half out of disappointment of losing a chance to save whoever was out there from being dragged into the other Bureau members’ disputes.

“It ain’t a client, Chicky,” Muta panted, blocking the doorway, “not unless we’re taking ghosts for clients.”

“Ghosts?” Haru barked out a laugh, swirling the wine and tea combination still in her cup.

***

“I can’t risk losing her, even if it means I can never find her! Just give her everything!”

“How noble, knick-knack. Those your terms?”

“Yes. You will give her everything. Do you swear on that?”

“Every damn day.”

***

“Ghosts are like relatives, Muta, honestly,” she laughed at first, before it fell into almost disappointed whining. Still swirling that tea cup, hoping to keep herself from seeing her reflection.

“Chicky-”

***

“I didn’t actually start the Cat Bureau, Bertrand.”

“But you’re in charge of it?”

“Mmhmm, the one who created the Cat Bureau, well…”

***

“Once you let them in, Muta, Muta, dearest Muta, you just can’t get rid of them.”

“Chicky-!”

“Oh honestly, calm down. This wouldn’t be the first time we’ve had a ghost at the Sanctuary. Certainly enough of them here in this house. What did they say?”

***

“I inherited it from them.”

“Did they die?”

***

Forest was unfamiliar. Forest was cold.

Forest was pressed against his cheek.

Part of him told him that he should be concerned.

That this wasn’t where he was supposed to be.

He just didn’t know who “he” was.

***

“No. Maybe. I don’t know.”

***

“Chicky, it’s-!”

“Hello?” a voice asked, a head poking around Muta. The tea cup clattered against the desk, ruining the paperwork she’d spent all night doing.

Ginger hair, dark freckled face, so obviously not from around here.

Mint green eyes.

“I’m looking for the Cat Bureau? I was hoping I could get-.”

“Name,” she hissed. Wood splintered under her nails. “What’s your name?!”

He jerked back, confused and afraid.

***

“Who were they? What was their name? Are they that cat in the painting?”

“Oh no, that was someone else. But his name was…”

***

“Humbert. Humbert von Gikkingen”